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Netherlands6181 Posts
Alright, I lied a bit in the title. This isn’t a girl blog, unless the bat is female. I just said that because Oldgrain told me to, so you can blame him.
OKAY, so….. on the 8th or 9th February a little fruit bat (or similar looking creature of the night) managed to fly into some power lines at my work. He got his wings caught on two wires, electrocuting himself to death. An alternative explanation is that it was actually a Vampire trying to get home before the sun came out, but failed, thus dropping from the sky and dying co-incidentally on the power lines. Whatever.
The problem is that this little bat has been there for a 3 weeks now and the exact location of those power lines is directly above the kitchen door.
And this bat is rotting.
Yesterday there was half a wing on the kitchen steps, and my co-worker claimed to have seen a maggot drop out of it last week. Over the weekend we had a storm which moved it slightly further down the line and it is now hanging from one foot. This is really throwing off my lunch schedule, I can’t bring myself to walk into the kitchen (or within 10m of it), especially not with food. Knowing my awful luck, it is going to fall on the very day that I walk underneath. So, here is a poll to make up for the misleading title:
Poll: Will the bat fall on me purely because I am paranoid of it happening?Yes (36) 84% No (7) 16% 43 total votes Your vote: Will the bat fall on me purely because I am paranoid of it happening? (Vote): Yes
(Vote): No
Not that I actually care what any of you vote, because I made a graph of what I think will happen:
Also, apparently having NSFW content in your post makes it more popular, so please find attached in the spoiler below a pair of healthy boobies.
+ Show Spoiler +
Also, no, the bat is not going to fall on me because I am not going within 500 fucking feet of it. I would rather skip lunch than walk anywhere near it with food.
  
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Russian Federation4050 Posts
The bat isn't going to fall on you just to fuck with your paranoia even more.
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My parent's attic was bat infested.
Apparently if you attach a bucket right below the entrance to the attic, the bats have to kinda drop out of the hole before they can start flying, and they just fall into the bucket and die there.
2 full buckets of dead bats later... no more infestation.
#justafricanthings
Edit: It occurs to me that I may not be being clear regarding how this works. There is literally a hole in the wall of their attic going outside (coastal town, temperature remains balmy year round, high humidity necessitates airflow). so you kinda hang a bucket out of it and presto dead bats. Just make sure its well secured as bats apparently can be heavy. What's worse than one dead bat falling on you? A bucket full of course.
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Can't you use a sling shot or somthin? I'm going to vote "yes" because you can never underestimate the power of negative vibration....
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Netherlands6181 Posts
Rofl, these responses...
Sn0_Man that is gross. Why would you want buckets of dead bats T_T thay are just going to keep coming. Ewewewwewewewew. Normally I like bats, but dead stuff.... yuk.
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LMAO
No actually it's been very successful at keeping their attic clear of bats. Its like leaving out rat poison or something.
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Batman will get you guys. Not talking about the superhero, just an environmentalist with a baseball bat 
Btw what's wrong with bataddict swag? Do they make noise or is it the free guano?
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here's my advice for you
![[image loading]](http://www.quickmeme.com/img/fc/fc28dc04598faf3620cffc765393b6ab1625ec1f5e3e0699f569df14746e9868.jpg)
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Lorning
Belgica34432 Posts
That bat isn't dead, It's just hibernating. And if you don't pay attention, it wakes up and bites you. You will turn into a vampire.
Rip dravernor.
btw
He got his wings caught on two wires, electrocuting himself to death.
I don't think it can die that way. It's not 'grounded'. Same reason birds don't die when they sit on power lines.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
you haters are just jelly you don't have corpses hanging above your heads at work.
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Since you are so paranoid there is a 99.997% chance that a different bat will fall into your dinner.
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Man, the one time I get credit for something my nickname is capitalized wrong!
Maybe the bat is cocooning and will soon wake up as a magnificient:
+ Show Spoiler +
5/5 would read again.
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Netherlands6181 Posts
On February 27 2014 04:04 Oldgrain wrote:Man, the one time I get credit for something my nickname is capitalized wrong! Maybe the bat is cocooning and will soon wake up as a magnificient: + Show Spoiler +5/5 would read again.
Whatchoo talking about, wrong? Sheesh.
Also, if I get to work tomorrow and find that bat has metamorphosed (?) into that... thing.... you will be receiving a parcel from Zimbabwe.
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What if it falls on you and you'll get superpowers?
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EPT![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Le6kjJK.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/fimcNad.png)
![[image loading]](http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-PNbjaDw57Qs/Tt2I5X-Y-SI/AAAAAAAAANU/73FwQpBuM40/s1600/boobie_bird.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/e9905B0.png)
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/JJk6G2B.jpg)
![[image loading]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-gBuCnKJ4SV0/UAP_E1tgd6I/AAAAAAAAAAU/HpSAsriH-CE/s1600/gh-malebat-16166.jpg)
