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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 06 2014 06:30 jaymik wrote:
Are you happy?
I'm always optimistic, but if my wife is taken care of, my kids are taken care of and I have work that I can do, whether I enjoy it or not, but I am able to work to provide for my family, then I'm happy. But happy, sad, it's all kinda bullshit pussy talk really; whether I am feeling whatever, I'm still going to do what I need to do and if the outcome is good, I'll be happy, if it isn't good, I'm not going to be sad, I'm just going to get back to it.
Being happy or sad it is kind of terminology for the young. For instance, I'm not just happy when I see my boys, I'm completely fulfilled. I mean you will always do things for yourself, but the older you get, and the more of man than a boy you are, just taking care of your responsibilities is enough to cover being happy at the very least. But I don't do things to be happy and I don't care if I'm happy, I'm living my life and even in the toughest time, I can be happy, as long as I'm doing what needs to be done.
Edit: Boarding delayed a bit: Thing is, I'm very thankful. I'm thankful I was born into a good family with good parents. I have good health, I'm not ugly, I'm not short, I'm smart enough, and I went to good schools, and yes, I worked hard, etc, but I'm thankful for those things and so I always appreciate everything, no matter how bad etc. I have 2 sons, they are both healthy, I have a great wife, she loves me. A lot of really shitty things I have to deal with, but I've never gone to war, I've never had to endure some horrible things that some other people have had too, my life is as hard or as easy as I choose. And I choose to make my life as hard as it can be sometimes because I have the capacity to do it, to handle it and I want the challenge. If people really can appreciate all the good things they have that can allow them to be better, then I think that will always supersede any simple understanding of letting the situation dictate if you are happy or sad etc. I don't want to say that Im immune to selfish or selfcentered thoughts, but really I don't have that luxury too, I'm just too busy to care at times and too thankful to God when I do have time to spend with my family and just appreciate it all.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
Time to board,
if there are any other questions, I'll get to it in the next 24 hrs.
^^
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Hi MA,
Having read through the gruelling experience that you went through and understanding that you've developed as a person, was the price too high? Would you do it again, knowing how it will pan out? What would you have done differently?
I realise my experiences are nothing compared to what you have gone through. I would imagine that it would have been hell going through it. That said, you are so very qualified and such a gun, how is it that you didn’t quickly land a high paying job. I’m sure PWC would have welcomed you back in open arms.
Thanks for being so open, your post on your past experiences have been really insightful and puts things into perspective for me!
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51283 Posts
Long time reader, first time question asker.
I'm an Asian-Australian currently studying Korean at university (UNSW in Sydney if you're curious). I guess you could say I've always wanted to learn Korean ever since I started watching Brood War in the early years of high school and now I'm a year into learning it formally.
In most likelihood, I'll be going to Korea on exchange for my studies in the next year or so. The only way I've been practicing Korean outside of classes is with a Australian-raised Korean who doesn't even hang out with a Korean clique, therefore, I feel reluctant to speak it with him which means we converse in English 99.9% of the time.
What would be the best way of improving my 한국어 outside of a classroom setting? I don't enjoy watching dramas, but I try and watch Starcraft in Korean and I sing Korean songs at the 노래방, but I feel that isn't enough. I joined the Korean Student Association at my university to help accelerate my learning, but the group is more of a tight knit bunch of Koreans than anything else so I felt it wasn't too useful.
I actually met some Korean girls at a bar a week or so ago, and even though I spoke Korean, it felt I was speaking like a dumb foreigner - my sentence structure feels really broken and I have an extremely limited vocabulary.
Which sort of leads me to the next point, as an non-Korean Asian who can speak some Korean, how am I going to be treated once I get to Korea? I already went in 2012, but I didn't know much Korean at all, and I all I did was pretty much go to Proleague every day (lol) and leech off MrHoon (<3). This time, I will probably will be doing way more than that.
Sorry if it's a poorly worded question, but hopefully you get the jist of it.
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7 pages deep on the first topic...
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On February 06 2014 12:25 GTR wrote:
Long time reader, first time question asker.
I'm an Asian-Australian currently studying Korean at university (UNSW in Sydney if you're curious). I guess you could say I've always wanted to learn Korean ever since I started watching Brood War in the early years of high school and now I'm a year into learning it formally.
In most likelihood, I'll be going to Korea on exchange for my studies in the next year or so. The only way I've been practicing Korean outside of classes is with a Australian-raised Korean who doesn't even hang out with a Korean clique, therefore, I feel reluctant to speak it with him which means we converse in English 99.9% of the time.
What would be the best way of improving my 한국어 outside of a classroom setting? I don't enjoy watching dramas, but I try and watch Starcraft in Korean and I sing Korean songs at the 노래방, but I feel that isn't enough. I joined the Korean Student Association at my university to help accelerate my learning, but the group is more of a tight knit bunch of Koreans than anything else so I felt it wasn't too useful.
I actually met some Korean girls at a bar a week or so ago, and even though I spoke Korean, it felt I was speaking like a dumb foreigner - my sentence structure feels really broken and I have an extremely limited vocabulary.
Which sort of leads me to the next point, as an non-Korean Asian who can speak some Korean, how am I going to be treated once I get to Korea? I already went in 2012, but I didn't know much Korean at all, and I all I did was pretty much go to Proleague every day (lol) and leech off MrHoon (<3). This time, I will probably will be doing way more than that.
Sorry if it's a poorly worded question, but hopefully you get the jist of it.
I'm sure MA will give you a more detailed response, but here's my two cents:
1) Shadowing - find some audio materials with a script and just keep practicing reading along with it until you can follow along at the same speed. Try to copy their accent. It doesn't have to be anything super hard, just some textbook dialogue or children's story would be fine if you're starting out. If you're already expert level at this then try rap lyrics, it's a good way to practice getting the sounds out of your mouth faster
2) Use online resources - there are tons of language exchange websites out there. I've used Sharedtalk.com a lot, but there are others too. If you're a native English speaker then there will be tons of Koreans out there willing to chat on Skype with you. And the time difference between AUS and KR is not that great, which works in your favour
3) Record yourself speaking - it's really awkward at first, but it helps tremendously in identifying how you sound, and you can compare yourself to native speakers to figure out which sounds/tones you need to work on
4) Being stubborn goes a long way - if you want to practice with Koreans, I've found that sometimes you have to force the issue. Most Koreans will assume you know zero Korean until you prove otherwise, and will try to converse in their broken English instead. There was a period where I pretty much refused to speak English with people I met, so the first part of the conversation would be a battle of wills between their broken English and my broken Korean, and eventually they would cave and we would continue the conversation in Korean. I'm not saying it's a great way to make friends, but it's a good way to force yourself not to take the "easy way out"
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Korea (South)17174 Posts
or just realize immersion is the best way and until then theres not much more u can do other than what you're already doing
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Korea (South)11568 Posts
with vocab, i found reading helps a lot. find a book that you are interested in and read it. I just finished reading 정글만리 and it improved my vocab a lot.
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On February 06 2014 03:48 MightyAtom wrote:Show nested quote +On February 05 2014 18:43 yunogg wrote:
안녕하세요 형,
I don't post here much and I'm glad to have seen this post. I read through your first one and the quality of your replies told me that I should probably get advice from you (not sure when else I'd be able to receive such advice).
As for a little background, I'm currently about to graduate from a pretty good university (undergrad), and I'm set to work at Oracle as a Sales Consultant. It's an entry level job and it's not really that great, but I'm just glad I got a job. However, I'm just worried because I'm not so sure whether I'd be able to move up vertically. I hear that a lot of people look down on sales... and although I'm not exactly a sales rep, I'm still in the department (providing technical information about Oracle's products). What should I do to make sure I get the most out of this opportunity + move up within the company? Should I look for other opportunities?
Another worry is that I'm a philosophy major and I feel like I don't have any "skills". I feel like I should've gone into computer science or engineering because there's such a huge demand for them. How do I deal with this feeling of inadequacy of being a philosophy major? Should I go to law school? I don't want to sound cocky but I'm kind of smart and I'm sure I can do well enough on the LSATs to get into a top program. Or do you think an MBA would be better? Maybe I should've gone into finance..................................... I love philosophy, but sometimes I wonder if I chose the wrong major.
My final question has to do with religion. From your recommendation of the Bible as a book to read in the last blog, I'm presuming you are a Christian. What do you do to keep holding on to your faith? As a man who is financially quite well off, do you think you are giving back enough?
감사합니다. I think it's wonderful that you're doing this. If I'm ever successful as you are, I will make sure to do the same.
Anyong ^^, A lot of people misunderstand sales, they usually think of a used car sales man, who wheels and deals and is unethical. Sales is probably the most important thing for a company to survive and grow especially when the products are nearly all the same. But for sales, it not a matter of moving up vertically, its a matter of switching positions to get more commission, but it seems more like you are an account manager support the sales rep which actually has even less vertical than a sales rep. But it is a good learning experience, oracle is wow, such a great company and because you're at such a big company there should be some intra company classes or development program. Find out out about it, learn everything you can, take all the class you can, if there are performance metrics, go for number one in your group. But looking for other opportunities as graduate is a must, it would be better to work as an intern in a field you are really engaged in than to set to work in something your'e not passionate about because you will need to spend at least a year in your first job when you start (ideally 3 years). Frankly speaking, if you've gone to a good school and your major is philosophy then you can apply for a consulting job, but you may be too lacking in basic management knowledge to qualify and it seems as though you are still in an academic mind set. But there is nothing bad about being a philosophy major, on an intellectual level, it will wow most people, but on a practical level, it is lacking so you do need to follow up on it, but I wouldn't say it is a waste, but it will take more time to integrate what you've learned as a mental framework to give value to some practical purpose. Some of the top business strategists and finance guys are from philosophy. I did my undergrad in political philosophy and english lit, then did a masters in divinity (theology) didn't graduate and went right into my MBA. If you're talking about law school, then if you have the chops for it, just apply and get it, if you dont' know what you should be doing, doing law school is a good stop gap as any and with a law degree you can still do your mba after or whatever. But if you love philosophy, why not go for being a professor then? That was something I considered once before. But what I'm not seeing is if philosophy is your passion, dive into it, but if it is not your only passion or you feel this need to do something practical, then you need to really investigate this thoroughly, this is not the time to just base your decisions on just what is in front of you, go do some hardcore research into law, or teaching, or other jobs or your own passion. **** I'm a Christian, 4th generation Korean protestant; as I was born into a Christian family, I always had confidence to challenge God and if God is God, he will answer and he's always been consistent in that. Being Christian isn't something you hold on to, either you are in Christ or not and if you're in Christ you grown the faith. And faith being, for me, seeing the world as God sees it and that just takes time, pray and sincerity. The gift we are given is that are given time to grow into being more faithful. I was financially well off, and now, on paper value (stock holdings) maybe I am at this point, but my bank account just holds my monthly salary at this moment, but to your point; having been raised serving the church, I've always been a sunday school teacher and when I was doing my masters in divinity I served at 3 churches every sunday, doing the sermons and teaching, but as of the last few years, I don't do that because of my travel schedule also I don't mention my background to whatever church I attend as it tends to make the clergy uncomfortable. But my hope is to one day amass a great wealth and open up a massive library in my wife's name and put in a full studio for video production for those students who may not fit into the traditional korean model of success but are creative and talented. I don't feel the need to donate it to a church persay, but rather, if it is done with love, that is all Christ wants me to do, the rest God can do. And to end: Stop being wishywashy and look into your options! asap! ^^
Thank you 
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Hello mightyatom hyung!
I must say that I always enjoyed reading your blogs because they gave a sense of personal growth and achievement through hard work, which is something I've always appreciated. Thank you for providing us your guidance.
My question is, do you have any guidelines or wisdom on being and staying humble? As a christian also I greatly value being humble about the things you say and do and achieve because it means that you don't come off as arrogant or condescending and you don't give yourself too much credit; after all, it has been many other people, great hyungs etc who have helped you come to that point, even if you decided to get your act together to get where you are. It is our ego and ambition that truly drives us forward and motivates us to achieve things, but I don't want to show an egoistical side to people who are close to me, or anyone for that matter.
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Always have enjoyed reading your blogs, incredibly insightful of the challenges you faced and how you were able to achieve what you have today.
My question has two parts, I have a rough plan in my mind, but I'd love to get your nugget of wisdom.
I was in a online relationship with a friend I've known for many years (she went through a traumatic time and I spent a lot of time helping her recover when no one seemed to care about her and seeing the suffering left a mark on me about people and life) we've split up for a while now, but she left a huge impact in a positive way which resulted in me going back to school (when I was 100% I was done with it) and trying to finish my degree in tourism. Everything clicked, my job in a restaurant working along side my boss with managing, marketing, reconstructing the business was in sync with everything I was learning in school. Yet I feel I'm underachieving, the opportunities and people I've met have been great and I can see the growth within me, yet I'm unsure what I want. I want to manage at some point and reach senior level as soon as I can. It's simply can't be just work your ass off till you make it is it? I thought of working in a hotel and moving up the corporate ladder, yet I want travel opportunities around the work, is it too late to start? The whole seasonality of the industry annoys me and I hope to get a 9-5 job in the industry that pays fairly well.
The breakup distorted my thinking and I made a fairly large investment and leased a $50,000 car and I'm able to pay it off along with my expenses, but I feel restricted. I don't work full time, but perhaps I should consider increase my hours some more to give myself some breathing room.
I want to eventually meet my ex once I've finished my degree and I can perhaps work overseas for some experience at a hotel ( or even gain experience now while I'm still in school). I'm seeing other people and enjoying the joys of life. Part of me has move on, yet there are moments where I wish I can see her in person and rekindle the relationship. (I'm a person that stands by his words, and means what he says and it was something I promised and I'd hate to back down on my word).
TLDR: getting back on track after break up, school and work going well, bad financial purchase, wants to meet exgf irl in a different country while moving up in the tourism industry (hopefully in another country).
Look forward to hear what you have to say, your comments not only for myself but for all other posters is invaluable!!
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massage parlor/salons/red light districts try or no try?
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
Guys,
give me 48hrs to respond,
I got quite ill on my travels and am just recovering after going for a hospital check up,
it's not serious, but I'm just extremely tired at this point,
but I will get to these ^^
Cheers!
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I saw your answer about happiness in your life. Fulfillment in family. A great upbringing. You wrap it up giving thanks to God. This forum being on the secular side of things, I don't want to broach some wide ranging religion question. Let me just ask, what was your journey through life like with regards to believing something supernatural out there? How has your views on God or religious matters changed as life has gone on?
+ Show Spoiler +I've been mostly single for some time now, but find my happiness volunteering and helping others in a nonprofit and religious context. I don't have fulfillment in family and job for that reason. It's only the rest that matters currently. I know how others have shared with me ... divine experiences touching them deeply, and since this is Ask-Me-Anything format, was wondering what that meant to you personally, no judgement
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Uhm, I dont know whether I can still ask something but I will give it a shot anyway:
How do you keep track of things you learn, whether it by reading, listening or watching, etc.? How do you organize it? Im ttying to learn from many fields but I have a hard time forming a bigger picture where t all fits and can easily be accessed. What devices do you use? (Ive learned that a paper bases organizer is very useful for me and that Evernotr is one of the best programsto get to information when it is needed)
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1) How would you deal with a parent who tries to force you to subscribe to a certain religion? Let's say you do not disparage their beliefs at all and have already told them that you respect their beliefs, and they can believe what they want, but you choose not to. However, that parent will force you to take part in religious rituals and flip out at you if you don't want to.
2) How do you size-up or gauge new people you meet? I.e. how do you ascertain their personality traits and find out whether they are honest or trustworthy?
3) When you take up a new job, how do you start off on a good note? How do you let others know you are capable and reliant?
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 06 2014 07:42 Trainninja wrote:
Hi MA,
Having read through the gruelling experience that you went through and understanding that you've developed as a person, was the price too high? Would you do it again, knowing how it will pan out? What would you have done differently?
I realise my experiences are nothing compared to what you have gone through. I would imagine that it would have been hell going through it. That said, you are so very qualified and such a gun, how is it that you didn’t quickly land a high paying job. I’m sure PWC would have welcomed you back in open arms.
Thanks for being so open, your post on your past experiences have been really insightful and puts things into perspective for me!
It's a pretty thoughtful question, I don't know if the price was too high, but the price was pretty high (relatively) because I had the security etc, what most people would deem as more than successful, but I don't think I had much of a real choice in the path I took, I knew myself and I also knew I'd regret to try and go for it. But I wouldn't ever want to repeat those few years ever again, of course if I had too, but really, I would never ever want to again. Even though I wouldn't say that I've made it -in terms of business results yet, capability wise I am better. I think of what I know now, looking back, I'm glad I didn't know it, or really I would haven't have started this. There were so many times where it was right down to the wire and I guess some times it was negative but I was durable enough to survive, but there were times I probably drowned and I was lucky to get revived, but really, the toll on my own health- it's been a lot.
I think, you nearly always make the best decision you can at the time, even if my future self went back in time and say, 'hey you stupid fuck, this is you, older and I'm gonna tell you, don't do this or that' and I'm sure my past self would say, 'hey, when I become such a fucking pussy, go fuck off old man, I have what it takes and apparently you didn't'; OTHER THAN, actions taken when you are too emotional, I think most other major decisions are the product of really where we are at, if we are there to make the 'right' decision then great, if not, then it's likely we need this experience to make the right decision next time. I'm not for thinking life is just a bunch of lucky decisions, we make the decisions we are meant to make at that time.
I give respect to everyone and their own experiences- everyone is in a different place, can we expect some kid raised in suburbia to understand what it is to be a child solider in Africa - no, but does that make the kid in suburbia's problems less real, of course not. Life is all relative, and we always adjust to the situation.
*******
When I was looking for a stop gap measure, I really wasn't qualified as a consultant any longer - in a general sense and it wasn't appealing. An established consulting firm or a big one will be a partnership, so getting back into it, at my age, I'd need to go in at a senior manager level and that is a very involved process; I probably could have jumped back in at a manager level, but for the massive amount of work and my age, I wouldn't be appealing to any of those firms and I wouldn't have been happy with the compensation. Also, for me to jump into a senior manager position it would have to be in the industry that have been in the last 6 years, and the industry that I'm is pretty new and specialized; unless I was going to move to only 2 countries, there wouldn't have been enough work for any firm to justify me as a hire. Basically, every market and consulting firm relies on projects and depending on the country, there are far more projects available such as mining in Australia etc.
The only other option of looking for work as an executive in my industry would have involved me giving up my company and that wasn't something I was prepared to do; so I had interviewed with companies that were in my industry, but not in my specific field. Thing is, unlike finance, top executive management positions are not plentiful, and they don't make a new position for people and for every major opening, there are a number of internal hires (from within the company) and a number of high profile external hires. Once you leave such a position, unless you are headhunted for another job, you will find, no matter how qualified and accomplished you are, if the market isn't growing, jobs at the senior director/vp/president are very difficult to acquire. I was lucky to get the consulting job that I did at my lowest point, but it was all timing, they needed someone for some outstanding projects that they had and I had the skill set. What a lot of people don't realize is that the salary you get a senior executive, that is based on results on results from year to year, it is extremely difficult to justify to pay someone that much as a new hire, no matter how accomplished, because they did that for another company, not yours. The only time this isn't the case is if the company is a public company- that the new hire is worth it because shareholders need some good news or that the new hire matches a new strategic path.
At the end of the day, many people and even my ex-staff asked me to come back to my old company, but once I had made my decision, it was done, about 2 months after I left, I had a chance to go back, but I didn't. And I wouldn't, its a choice I made, there is pride, but it is also about really going for it. one time.
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Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 06 2014 12:25 GTR wrote:
Long time reader, first time question asker.
I'm an Asian-Australian currently studying Korean at university (UNSW in Sydney if you're curious). I guess you could say I've always wanted to learn Korean ever since I started watching Brood War in the early years of high school and now I'm a year into learning it formally.
In most likelihood, I'll be going to Korea on exchange for my studies in the next year or so. The only way I've been practicing Korean outside of classes is with a Australian-raised Korean who doesn't even hang out with a Korean clique, therefore, I feel reluctant to speak it with him which means we converse in English 99.9% of the time.
What would be the best way of improving my 한국어 outside of a classroom setting? I don't enjoy watching dramas, but I try and watch Starcraft in Korean and I sing Korean songs at the 노래방, but I feel that isn't enough. I joined the Korean Student Association at my university to help accelerate my learning, but the group is more of a tight knit bunch of Koreans than anything else so I felt it wasn't too useful.
I actually met some Korean girls at a bar a week or so ago, and even though I spoke Korean, it felt I was speaking like a dumb foreigner - my sentence structure feels really broken and I have an extremely limited vocabulary.
Which sort of leads me to the next point, as an non-Korean Asian who can speak some Korean, how am I going to be treated once I get to Korea? I already went in 2012, but I didn't know much Korean at all, and I all I did was pretty much go to Proleague every day (lol) and leech off MrHoon (<3). This time, I will probably will be doing way more than that.
Sorry if it's a poorly worded question, but hopefully you get the jist of it.
Especially as Kyopo, it is very tough to learn, because if you're a foreigner, then you dont' mind trying and looking dumb/cute because you're a foreigner, but in the case of being a Kyopo, it's like because you are Korean in blood, then you feel embarrassment that you can't speak Korean better, so instead of trying and making those dumb excuses, you just try to learn via the path of the least resistance and year after year you never improve.
Also as a Kyopo, you have your own thoughts, and sometimes socially, it doesn't match with immigrants or visa students, but I'd say, the easiest way, outside of full immersion, is get a Korean Korean girlfriend and ask her to really teach you and just try. The number one thing is to actually speak, most Kyopos understand far more than they can speak, and so you need to at least repeat what you hear and take then phrases by phrases, you'd be surprised how fast you can learn when you start repeating and asking what means what.
Korean now is so much different than 10 years ago, relatively a lot of Koreans speak, and if you meet educated Koreans, they will understand, if you meet uneducated koreans, they will think they have the right to insult you because they can't understand how you could not speak Korean and may outright say, what kind of parents you had to not teach you Korean. But low class is low class everywhere, but as a Korean not being able to speak much Korean, at the end of the day, you're life will be much fuller when you do and even if you're never perfect, as long as you can get to an conversational level its enough and you can.
When you first go to Korea, go to one of the language programs at Yonsei or Sogang and if you don't know numbers and dates and hours, then just force yourself to learn that first. But if you do have time, watching movies, dramas, etc, its all crap from just trial and error in speaking Korean and getting corrected and practicing phrases over and over again. I'd say, go back to your Korean association and say, 'guys, look, I really really want to learn Korean can you guys help me, sincerely' and sincerely, they will because we are Korean.
But no matter how well you speak or don't if you try, the good Koreans will know your sincerity and that is all that counts, so don't worry to be embarrassed, as I mentioned, I understand it very much, my Korean will never be more than conversational,I never speak it outside of my home, for business it is in German, Chinese and English and rarely in Korean, but when I really speak with my wife it is always in Korean. Just try, work through the feeling that you should be better but aren't, don't let that get in the way of you learning, you have nothing to be embarrassed about, this is a bad thing about our culture that we define everything through our blood, so if you are Korean, you should be able to speak; but aside from that, just put it aside, and just learn, that's it.
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My God, I can't believe I missed this from not being around the forums as much. I'm so grateful for the featured blogs section right now ^^ I hope you're still around to answer later! Reading your blogs and responses puts me at ease every time (though I'm always conscious of how amazing you and your advice are, and I worry about not remembering everything haha  )
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You sound dead inside, and the least "manly" thing you could be doing is offering your "expert manly man advice for men" on the internet. Don't be so full of yourself.
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EPT
