EPTMy friend is homeless - Page 2
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Nikon
Bulgaria5710 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On October 08 2013 01:10 woreyour wrote: good for you then but this does not help him, i am not sure why you need to say this but its like bragging or trolling. People can really be shitty with money but can be good friends and I for one will not be judging people at first glance, I for one have a good friend, loyal but when he started borrowing money and not paying the 1st time I just stop and told him "hey we are good friends but you really need to pay me back, are you selling your friendship for that amount". It is just u cant see these things ahead but I guess twice is good enough for you to know when to stop. You still helped him once or twice but not on the 3rd time or if you cant see him trying. You misjudge my intentions... I was just piling onto the idea that his friend is a dick and he shouldn't associate with such a person. It's incredibly disrespectful to quit a job when you need to pay back somebody. But also I legitimately think it's a sad state of affairs when people have to be so distrustful of each others. | ||
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Aveng3r
United States2411 Posts
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EJK
United States1302 Posts
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ZeaL.
United States5955 Posts
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Erik.TheRed
United States1655 Posts
On October 08 2013 00:09 Djzapz wrote: I'll assume the government won't pay you to go to university if you didn't have good grades previously, right? I'm fairly sure that you can apply for student loans even if it's just for remedial GED type courses. The amount depends on how many credits you are taking. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States44844 Posts
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NeThZOR
South Africa7387 Posts
On October 08 2013 01:10 woreyour wrote: + Show Spoiler + [QUOTE]On October 08 2013 01:10 woreyour wrote: [QUOTE]On October 08 2013 00:09 Djzapz wrote: [QUOTE]On October 07 2013 22:58 Elegy wrote: Money "loaned" to friends is money that you should consider a gift. Never loan money to friends or family and expect to get it back. Your friend sounds like a useless sod. You don't quit your job because the pay sucks when you owe people money and are going to be homeless. You will likely never get your money back. [/QUOTE] I've never lent money that I didn't get back. I've even recently, like 4-5 months ago, lent $300 to a guy from Wisconsin who I only met once in my life at Blizzcon 2009. Internet buddy guy. I constantly lend 20's left and right to friends and they systematically get it back to me. I've lent $3000 to a cousin also and he paid back in full a few months later and bought me dinner  .I think it's sad that it's so common for people to know that they can't trust their own family and friends with money. What kind of fucks do you guys associate with -_- [QUOTE] + Show Spoiler + good for you then but this does not help him, i am not sure why you need to say this but its like bragging or trolling. People can really be shitty with money but can be good friends and I for one will not be judging people at first glance, I for one have a good friend, loyal but when he started borrowing money and not paying the 1st time I just stop and told him "hey we are good friends but you really need to pay me back, are you selling your friendship for that amount". It is just u cant see these things ahead but I guess twice is good enough for you to know when to stop. You still helped him once or twice but not on the 3rd time or if you cant see him trying. Fix those quotes please :< | ||
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Capped
United Kingdom7236 Posts
What you have to consider is most (most.) people DO intend to pay the money back, but if you lend money to people in a shitty situation (which is always the case because they need a loan) its going to be a long while before they are in a position to pay it back. The shit about him not taking his responsibilities seriously, yeah that screws you, him and everyone else over because he's not working his damn hardest to pay off his debts and get his life on track, but i think there is always a reason for this sort of shit and maybe you dont know the whole picture as to why he quit his job or he doesnt accept help from his father, if he's lying about it i think something is there at least. I mean, i doubt anyone would intentionally put themselves in debt, homeless and refuse help from close family unless something was seriously wrong, you know? Of course, he could just be a dickhead bum. And yeah, stop lending him money and start helping him get his life back on track practically instead if you want to help him! Find him a job, a hostel, give him company so he doesnt feel alone and give him someone to talk to. If that fails, refer to short sentence above. | ||
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Fazers
736 Posts
TL;dr: I don't lend money anymore...spotting for small amounts? Sure but large amounts? No thanks. | ||
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TOCHMY
Sweden1692 Posts
I'd say there must be a problem. I've known the guy since we were like 6 years old, albeit never really close, we always hung out. And he's not a dickhead bum. If i think about it, he's a really special guy, hard to fit in and super shy, even towards us "close" friend that he hangs out with. So if there's some problem with his dad, he won't tell us. But I don't really know his father either, it was like 7 or 8 years since I last met him. I dunno what to do really. I told him to his father to sell his stuff (like excessive videogames and magic cards, some of which he actually bought while owing me money), and send the money to my bankaccount. He responded that he can give me his playstation and games so I can sell it... So I feel like he really, really don't want to involve his dad. | ||
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EJK
United States1302 Posts
On October 08 2013 05:36 TOCHMY wrote: Thanks for all the advice and views guys! I'd say there must be a problem. I've known the guy since we were like 6 years old, albeit never really close, we always hung out. And he's not a dickhead bum. If i think about it, he's a really special guy, hard to fit in and super shy, even towards us "close" friend that he hangs out with. So if there's some problem with his dad, he won't tell us. But I don't really know his father either, it was like 7 or 8 years since I last met him. I dunno what to do really. I told him to his father to sell his stuff (like excessive videogames and magic cards, some of which he actually bought while owing me money), and send the money to my bankaccount. He responded that he can give me his playstation and games so I can sell it... So I feel like he really, really don't want to involve his dad. or hes making you do all the work by selling his shit to get your money back | ||
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mizU
United States12125 Posts
he's making no effort to do anything for his life while mooching off of you nope | ||
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quebecman77
Canada133 Posts
so he deserve no help and of course because of that he a useless human being and not a good friend . people here go far . for the money he own you , ask him why he dont want his dad help , this sound strange other that the ''im adult now , dont want help for my mother and dad im old now, in life you should accept the help of other when you need it, he got nothing and his dad want to help him, why he dont accept? if the dad help him , you will probably get your money faster, but anyway if he a realy good friend, forget the money for some time, dont put the burden of the money on him too, he will pay you back, maybe not right now,maybe never, but you can do nothing about that, help your friend but dont give him more money,that the right thing to do. | ||
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Saechiis
Netherlands4989 Posts
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On October 08 2013 06:53 Saechiis wrote: I'm amazed how many people prefer the dickhead bum which should be dumped story over the possibility that OP's friend might have actual serious issues that explain his behaviour. Have some fucking empathy. Maybe he's autistic and being overwhelmed suddenly having to fend for himself. I have a similar story, not having known I was autistic until I went to uni and it really hurts me to read all these people who judge some person they don't know (it might as well have been me) over 10 lines of text and advising OP to simply ditch him. People don't act like assholes just for no reason, it's a word we use as a quick and clean answer when can't be bothered to find the real answers. I feel sorry when people have such a negative view on life, but maybe you should not be handing out such black and white advice to unknown people over the internet. There's nothing wrong with being autistic and you should empathize with people with autism, knowing that they are different. Still, autism does not give you a carte blanche to not do things correctly. You can't just excuse bad behavior with autism (which is at least high-functioning enough that OP did not even mention it). The explicit term of a loan is that the loan is repaid, and the person is said to have bought random shit like magic cards while he still owed money. You can't explain that with just autism. He might not be a true asshole but he is a mooch and shows serious lack of personal responsibility. I would get the money from the PStation and the father and then get him out of my life. You could also try to help him find a job if you want to keep him around but I wouldn't lend any more money. | ||
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quebecman77
Canada133 Posts
On October 08 2013 06:53 Saechiis wrote: I'm amazed how many people prefer the dickhead bum which should be dumped story over the possibility that OP's friend might have actual serious issues that explain his behaviour. Have some fucking empathy. Maybe he's autistic and being overwhelmed suddenly having to fend for himself. I have a similar story, not having known I was autistic until I went to uni and it really hurts me to read all these people who judge some person they don't know (it might as well have been me) over 10 lines of text and advising OP to simply ditch him. People don't act like assholes just for no reason, it's a word we use as a quick and clean answer when can't be bothered to find the real answers. I feel sorry when people have such a negative view on life, but maybe you should not be handing out black and white advice to unknown people over the internet. agree with you, you say my first point better that me, no one knows nothing about him yet everyone here to judge him? Would also add that yes some time what you write in the internet change stuff or a person's life, he posted here because he don't know what to do in this situation, that's really not the best place for ask or go for advice ( go talk to a mutual friend or some other friend or your mother/father act ) but you still give I'm an advice, if he follow for example ''he not a good friend you should forget him'' then maybe the poor homeless guy kill himself,maybe what he need more curently are friend help, who know, think about what you post in the internet, they are real people reading what you write behind the screen..... Some point in the story : Left job, why ? Why not accept dad help? | ||
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mizU
United States12125 Posts
On October 08 2013 06:53 Saechiis wrote: I'm amazed how many people prefer the dickhead bum which should be dumped story over the possibility that OP's friend might have actual serious issues that explain his behaviour. Have some fucking empathy. Maybe he's autistic and being overwhelmed suddenly having to fend for himself. I have a similar story, not having known I was autistic until I went to uni and it really hurts me to read all these people who judge some person they don't know (it might as well have been me) over 10 lines of text and advising OP to simply ditch him. People don't act like assholes just for no reason, it's a word we use as a quick and clean answer when can't be bothered to find the real answers. I feel sorry when people have such a negative view on life, but maybe you should not be handing out black and white advice to unknown people over the internet. money is the big difference here, not empathy | ||
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UniversalSnip
9871 Posts
He's now got 1300 euros debt to me, and another 600 euros he borrowed from a mutual friend of ours. I doubt I will see the money for a good while. never. never never never will you get that money back. Never ever ever. If you press him for it, it will make him angry and he won't be your friend anymore. Then he won't pay you. If you don't press him, he will not pay you. There is no way to get your money back from him. Consider it gone. The absolute best case scenario is that dad pays you, nothing else will work out. He responded that he can give me his playstation and games so I can sell it... So I feel like he really, really don't want to involve his dad. That doesn't follow at all. If he didn't want to involve his dad he'd just sell it himself and give you the money... he just wants to avoid the effort of selling it. | ||
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AnachronisticAnarchy
United States2957 Posts
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