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On October 08 2013 18:51 TOCHMY wrote:Unless you know something I don't, there is nothing more to it than I've wrote above. I react agressively partly due to your douchy way of posting, and due to the stress this dilemma is putting on me. On one hand, I need the money, maybe not RIGHT NOW and I can survive without it, but 1300 is alot of money, and let's just say I don't plan on living at my mum's for another 2 years... On the other hand, you're right. The dude's got problems. Problems he brought upon himself. I do want to help him, but he refuses to be helped, as you'd know if you'd read my post above, again... Show nested quote +okay I have your point now. yeah surely he should not be friend with the guy but I suggest he keeps contact with him unless he wants to totally abandon the hope of him paying him. I will also strongly suggest to not lend him money ever, tell him to pay 1st then probably after payment he should be wary of lending money. Trust me man, I've learnt my lesson. I'm not lending anyone money again, at least not such big sums. And especially not for such long periods.
Yes dont lend BIG amounts when you know he cant pay or just lend once (helping a friend).
I lend a lot my self, some I had them paying some dont. I just leave statements like "if thats the value of our friendship so be it" it just makes you choose your better friends to keep. It helps them rethink their actions and conscience but I tend not to cut the ties as to give them hope but I make sure they dont abuse by borrowing more.
I have some friends I lent money that payed me back and they are very thankful that I was able to help them in dire times. They even payed me back more (in other things I need and not money like job favor/assistance in their specialized fields eg advertising, networking and connections) and also made our friendship/ bonds stronger.
the thing is dont burn bridges, you will never know what the future holds.
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On October 08 2013 18:51 TOCHMY wrote:Unless you know something I don't, there is nothing more to it than I've wrote above. I react agressively partly due to your douchy way of posting, and due to the stress this dilemma is putting on me. On one hand, I need the money, maybe not RIGHT NOW and I can survive without it, but 1300 is alot of money, and let's just say I don't plan on living at my mum's for another 2 years... On the other hand, you're right. The dude's got problems. Problems he brought upon himself. I do want to help him, but he refuses to be helped, as you'd know if you'd read my post above, again... Show nested quote +okay I have your point now. yeah surely he should not be friend with the guy but I suggest he keeps contact with him unless he wants to totally abandon the hope of him paying him. I will also strongly suggest to not lend him money ever, tell him to pay 1st then probably after payment he should be wary of lending money. Trust me man, I've learnt my lesson. I'm not lending anyone money again, at least not such big sums. And especially not for such long periods.
You'd be able to live on your own for 2 years from a months worth of minimum wage?
But yea if money is so important to you, stop lending it to people.
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On October 08 2013 19:09 Passion wrote:Show nested quote +On October 08 2013 18:51 TOCHMY wrote:Unless you know something I don't, there is nothing more to it than I've wrote above. I react agressively partly due to your douchy way of posting, and due to the stress this dilemma is putting on me. On one hand, I need the money, maybe not RIGHT NOW and I can survive without it, but 1300 is alot of money, and let's just say I don't plan on living at my mum's for another 2 years... On the other hand, you're right. The dude's got problems. Problems he brought upon himself. I do want to help him, but he refuses to be helped, as you'd know if you'd read my post above, again... okay I have your point now. yeah surely he should not be friend with the guy but I suggest he keeps contact with him unless he wants to totally abandon the hope of him paying him. I will also strongly suggest to not lend him money ever, tell him to pay 1st then probably after payment he should be wary of lending money. Trust me man, I've learnt my lesson. I'm not lending anyone money again, at least not such big sums. And especially not for such long periods. You'd be able to live on your own for 2 years from a months worth of minimum wage? But yea if money is so important to you, stop lending it to people.
A whole months pay directly into my savings account would greatly push me towards moving to my own place, yes. In order to get my own apartment I have to put forth a starting sum to be able to buy an apartment. Money which I don't have, obviously.
It's not like I don't have any expenses you know. I barely have enough money to put away 100 euro each month. And yes, money is pretty important for me in my current situation, else I wouldn't post this thread.
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The money is gone. You aren't getting it back. Treat it as an expensive lesson learned, move on and never lend money to anyone ever again.
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Don't know how strong is the friendship but lending or accepting money will always test the relationship.
If he's like your best friend assume it as a gift, then eventually he'll pay you back and if he's a sensible person he will feel guilty in the meantime and cut communication with you for a while until he can repay.
When he will repay don't be that asshole who doesn't accept it because that would mean he will always feel in guilt and the relationship will die over time.
From what you've written sounds like "a" friend so feel free to pressure to get your money back.
In friends and money whatever you do is wrong basically.
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Hey guys, just an update for you.
I've decided not to involve my friend's father. Instead, I've told him to try to get his shit together, get a job or go to school, and pay me back when he can, if 1 year from now or 5 years, it doesn't matter.
Thanks for all your good advice and support!
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You don't borrow people money, you lend people money... sorry just one of my pet peeves.
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Thank you, I'll remember that
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EPT
