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Well I want to keep this short. I'm a HS sophomore, and my GPA from last year is a 3.8 (with all honors classes and AP Physics B). This year I'm taking AP Bio, Calc AB, Honors US History, Honors English, AP Comp Sci, and Academic Spanish III (I hate spanish). So, anyway, not the best I guess but not the worst either. So far I have to say that time flew and the year is almost over, which sucks because all my grades are in the A- to B+ range and learning and shit usually gets harder towards the end of the year. So far my parents have been very, I guess, obsessive over my grades and over my future.
Just the other day my dad was telling me how I'll always be a failure because he worked really hard to be able to come to America and my mom always tells me that if I was growing up in Asia I would be a "failure student" because Asia is so tough and competitive in school. I don't even play video games that much (other than SC2 and occasionally Black Ops on PS3) but they're saying they will remove my games until the summer if I can't bring all my grades up to an A. For next year I already have 4 APs...I guess this is understandable cuz it's junior year and that's the fucking balls toughest year in high school. So this means much of my summer will be spent doing AP summer assignments and such, which I am (obviously) looking forward to.
Recently my dad also said that he wants me to focus on the SAT, SAT 2 and my AP exams, saying that he expects me to get a 5 on the three AP exams I'll take this May, and he wants me to get a 5 on each of the 4 APs I'll take next year. Also, he expects me to get an 800 on the SAT math and at least a 2200 SAT score, and he wants me to start getting ready for the SAT 2 math. You see, my dad like most Asian dad is a computer engineer but as a high school and college student he loved math. If he could he would tutor me in calculus and Java every single second of every day, if he could. In fact he often tries doing most of my Comp Sci assignments and then he gets mad when I don't do so good on the tests. In fact, my dad explicitly said that I either get a 2200 SAT score and perfect AP scores or he'll kick me out of the house (not sure if he's joking but I don't wanna find out).
In terms of social life, I'm shy and nerdy and awkward so I can't talk to girls (unless I have to for a group project lol) and I don't really have many friends. Lunch time sucks because I usually eat alone or with the gay/emo/hipster kids. I'm also worried about college (I know it's supposed to be the time of your life and all that jazz) because I'm not really a people person, I don't know how I'll adjust to living in dorms (and all the perks that come along with that...drinking, recreational drug use, free girls, and generally coexisting with people I don't know and might not get along with). My dad also wants me to go to medical school after undergrad, which I'm not so sure about at this point (partly because AP Bio is kicking my butt and I'm kinda feeling more interested in physics/engineering/computer science/technology stuff. On the other hand it would be nice to find the cure for cancer and diabetes and other debilitating diseases/illnesses that lots of innocent people find themselves unfortunately plagued with...and it changes their life forever...sigh but that's a far cry away. That and the fact that med school and residency kicks your butt and is nowhere near as glamorous as it's portrayed on tv, obviously).
So anyway, not really sure what to think. Right now I'm supposed to be studying because my parents expect me to be studying for classes and SAT and stuff like every single second of every single day, including weekends. My parents didn't even get me an iphone and they don't ever get me stuff for my birthday because they think I'll be a "spoiled child", whatever that means.
I dont know, sometimes I just....feel so lonely and unmotivated. I have no inspiration ever. In fact yesterday which was Valentines day I spent all night kissing my pillow, it sucks. For some reason I don't even like high school girls, I prefer women in college or in their 20s or early 30s. To be honest I don't know what's wrong with me, because I'm immature as fuck. I don't remember the last movie I watch, the last friend I called, nothing like that. The outside world just seems so scary and...unforgiving I guess. I feel like my parents have always been overprotective but they never let me do anything...fun. I don't remember the last time I had fun. It's always studying and grades with my parents. They don't understand what it's like to be teenager. Last week I got angry for no reason, frustrated I guess you could say, and broke the fucking vacuum cleaner. My mom grounded me for a month (no TV and monitored computer time), and my dad tried kicking my ass but I kept running around the dining room table (this went on for 15 minutes until he got tired). My parents say I'm a failure and if I was growing up in Asia I would be a janitor or something.
Everything reminds me of the Linkin Park song Numb, and this line in particular
"Cant you see that youre smothering me,
holding so tightly,
afraid to lose control
and all those things that you thought i would be
are falling apart
right in front of you "
Anyway, just looking for some inspiration? motivation? something to hold onto? anything??
 
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Baa?21242 Posts
i came into the thread expecting abusive parents
disappointed
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On February 16 2013 11:56 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
i came into the thread expecting abusive parents
disappointed
my parents might not be physically so but they are definitely mentally and psychologically abusive man, they don't give me any space!!! I need my space!!! In fact right now I'm reading the urban dictionary entry for "dick"..."Man's most magnificently majestic manifestation of his raw power and potency. In appearance, when hard, it resembles a rocket on the launching pad, and it has the same turbulent thrusting force and energy. Just as a rocket can send a satellite into orbit, it can send a woman into orgasm, which is no less awesome a feat." LOL
Anyway I should be studying right now, but I'm doing some good ole fashioned procrastination before dinner i guess.
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All I can say is that if I had had Asian parents I would almost certainly have run away or murdered them. Simply couldn't stand living under such scrutiny and overbearing pressure. My heart goes out to you...just try to endure it as best you can and GTFO of there when you have the resources. Talking to girls takes time anyway, you'll come around to learning it.
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On February 16 2013 11:37 I_Love_Katheryn wrote:
My parents say I'm a failure and if I was growing up in Asia I would be a janitor or something.
This is probably the only thing I think your parents are wrong on. If you would love to be a janitor, there is nothing wrong with that. People tend to get into this idea of being "perfect" and having that "perfect life." If you love something, then go for it. As long as it is a job where you can work hard and make honest money, there is nothing to be ashamed of.
Of course, this advice only holds if you are out of your parent's house. Right now, they want you to do good because that will give you the most options in the future. It is a lot of pressure, but take a deep breath, and start chugging along. If you can make it through this, it will help prepare you for RL without your parents.
Good luck! It won't be easy, but I think you have what it takes.
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Are you the oldest or only child? I can relate to your experience to a point, but my parents really lightened up on me when I went through high school. The demand for 5's and A's sounds familiar, and so does the taking away the video games. First 2 years of high school sucked pretty bad. I played sports of junior/senior year and joined a few clubs that I didn't my first two years, so I spent more time away from my parents/with other kids so that kind of helped. Once you get to college, especially if you go away from home, I think you'll find it a lot easier to be yourself and making friends will just come naturally. Good luck, life will get better.
By the way, AP Bio is pretty much completely unrelated to medicine/medical school if you're thinking about that route. Fields that deal with basic science like the stuff you learn in AP Bio is more like PhD/research stuff. Medicine is more clinical/application.
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On February 16 2013 11:58 I_Love_Katheryn wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2013 11:56 Carnivorous Sheep wrote:
i came into the thread expecting abusive parents
disappointed my parents might not be physically so but they are definitely mentally and psychologically abusive man, they don't give me any space!!! I need my space!!! In fact right now I'm reading the urban dictionary entry for "dick"..."Man's most magnificently majestic manifestation of his raw power and potency. In appearance, when hard, it resembles a rocket on the launching pad, and it has the same turbulent thrusting force and energy. Just as a rocket can send a satellite into orbit, it can send a woman into orgasm, which is no less awesome a feat." LOL Anyway I should be studying right now, but I'm doing some good ole fashioned procrastination before dinner i guess.
Be sure to print what you wrote here and give it to your significant other the day you decide to make a couple (if that's what you plan to do of course, no pressure) then when you kids are the same age as you, read it to them.
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On February 16 2013 11:37 I_Love_Katheryn wrote:
Also, he expects me to get an 800 on the SAT math
That is the minimum to be considered an asian!
All the rest, just know it gets better after highschool. There is nothing wrong with being mediocre. Sure you're parents will act all disappointed when you don't graduate from Harvard and their college friend's kid when to Stanford and become a doctor. Myself, my dad's college classmate came to the US at the same time and their daighter : Class valectectoiwhatever, Yale undergrad, John Hopkin's doctorate, now some fancy smancy doctor in DC. Me? Epic fail masters in engineering from a mediocre tech school. But I've got married with an awesome kid and her biological clock is ticking down! Win!
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Buddy, your parents are doing you a favor. You sound like an unmotivated guy so their pushing is just about all that;s keeping you on your feet right now. You can battle them and eventually wear them down you have youth and retarded stubbornness on your side and kids win in the long run because parents have too much real life shit to deal with to be on you 100%.
But you really have to ask yourself what kind of person do you want to be because I am telling you right now that you will turn to shit if you parents stop pushing you. Your habits and daily routine and your discipline will all erode away. Usually this happens to kids like you in first year college after insisting on living on campus or out of state so you can experience freedom (read that as irresponsibility).
So you really have three choices to make:
1) Motivate yourself. If you do this one your parents will become much more easier to deal with and you wont be left with your pants around your ankles when they eventually distance themselves from you once college hits. Probably your best shot at being someone who is not a total screw up later.
2) Allow your parents to motivate you and use them as a crutch. This one kind of falls apart once you get older and they lose interest in you. It could still work if you never, ever move out of the house.
3) Fight your parents. Make sure to do it like a little bitch too and by this I mean use the old tried and true lines of its your life not theirs, you have your own dreams (either bullshit some sexy sounding one or else never mention any specifics as you probably have no idea what to do with your life), try running the good old guilt trip if you have any dirt on them or for a more subtle approach assure them that you are mature and you do not need their guidance and then as soon as they stop paying attention play games all day, surf the web, masturbate to porn, and ignore any or all responsibilities toward your own future. That last one has to be done gradually so as to fool both your parents and yourself until one day you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you fucked yourself at which point you can make another blog akin to the dozen or so that are made each week on this forum lamenting shitty decisions with long term consequences.
Hey bud, I get it. No I really do. This kinda suck when you got to do these things called work and responsibility. Its totally normal to want to jerk off and do what you really want but lets face it, what you really want to do is probably an infatuation with some useless crap that 10 years from now you will look back on and wonder why you wasted so much time on it. I mean seriously you probably should not even be playing games as much as you are right now. Nobody is going to give a shit about your win-loss record in SC2 a few years from now, not even you. Your grades might matter though.
So take a deep breath and grow up.
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1st world problems man. Don't take your parents for granted. Enjoy every moment with them because you don't know when it will be their last. They may seem pushy and abusive at first but they're doing it for a reason. They want you to succeed in life and bring out the best in you every possible way. My parents are the exactly as yours. They made me the man who I am today because of it. Currently, I'm in grad school and they're still supporting me and I love them for it. When that day comes I will repay them greatly(no, not monetary, much more bigger) that's a promise I made to myself. You will realize this sooner hopefully or older as I did. Please love your parents, love yourself, and love the world.
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On February 16 2013 12:49 Ximeng wrote:
3) Fight your parents. Make sure to do it like a little bitch too and by this I mean use the old tried and true lines of its your life not theirs, you have your own dreams (either bullshit some sexy sounding one or else never mention any specifics as you probably have no idea what to do with your life), try running the good old guilt trip if you have any dirt on them or for a more subtle approach assure them that you are mature and you do not need their guidance and then as soon as they stop paying attention play games all day, surf the web, masturbate to porn, and ignore any or all responsibilities toward your own future. That last one has to be done gradually so as to fool both your parents and yourself until one day you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you fucked yourself at which point you can make another blog akin to the dozen or so that are made each week on this forum lamenting shitty decisions with long term consequences.
Hey bud, I get it. No I really do. This kinda suck when you got to do these things called work and responsibility. Its totally normal to want to jerk off and do what you really want but lets face it, what you really want to do is probably an infatuation with some useless crap that 10 years from now you will look back on and wonder why you wasted so much time on it. I mean seriously you probably should not even be playing games as much as you are right now. Nobody is going to give a shit about your win-loss record in SC2 a few years from now, not even you. Your grades might matter though.
So take a deep breath and grow up.
So what you're saying is that threatening to kick your child out if he doesn't bring home perfect grades at the cost of any kind of reasonable social development is the way to go?
There is a huge, huge difference between growing up as responsible, smart and well educated and being grown up as a streamlined worker.
Obviously there are pros and cons to parenting in such a way, however painting a completely unreal picture of how horrible ones life will be if one doesn't obey his parents and isn't a perfect student should not be part of such a topic.
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I feel for you. I am so glad my dad was never like that. Ug I couldn't imagine the amount of hatred I would have if I had to get a 4.0 or my parents would be pist xD
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You know when you say "abusive parents", it means they are abusive in comparison to other parents, right? You just sound naive and whiny to me. I think you have no excuse for getting anything but a 4.0 in highschool.
I suggest you find something that interests you. In my Freshman and Sophomore year I just played video games. Once my Sophomore year summer hit, I realized that I only had one more summer after this, and then that's it. Done. No more summers to spend doing whatever. I spent my Junior and Senior year studying traditional art and computer science. You should be doing something, anything; figure out what you're interested in.
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On February 16 2013 12:49 Ximeng wrote:
So you really have three choices to make:
1) Motivate yourself. If you do this one your parents will become much more easier to deal with and you wont be left with your pants around your ankles when they eventually distance themselves from you once college hits. a your best shot at being someone who is not a total screw up later.
This doesn't work. I dont mean don't motivate yourself. I just mean motivating yourself to do better in school will make your parents happy. If your parents would be happy with you ever, they'd be happy with you now. You are doing fine in high school, nad to be honest high school doesn't even make a huge difference. All you need to remember is not to rebel as soon as you get into college by doing poorly/ being spectacularly lazy. Although they might be over reacting about grades and scores and focusing on things that aren't important, to some degree they have your best interest in mind. They just realize that pushing you doesn't help you, it only helps you if you push yourself. And you can only do that when you want to for yourself.
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I really really feel for you. These parents mean the best for you obviously, but are short-sighted and don't realize the larger harm (psychological, social, and even academic/career-wise) they are inflicting on their child in the long-term. It's gonna be hard, but try your best to not to be affected by your overbearing parents and man up and impress them with your academic prowess and convince them not to pester you so much...
From a sympathetic asian guy around 6 years older you with a somewhat similar back-story -- my last few years have been sucky but I am doing quite well now. Let's hope you dont have to go through the same thing as I did.
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It gets better when you go to college. I haven't read the OP but I've probably been there too.
Also. What is the story behind the alias?
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On February 16 2013 13:06 r.Evo wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2013 12:49 Ximeng wrote:
3) Fight your parents. Make sure to do it like a little bitch too and by this I mean use the old tried and true lines of its your life not theirs, you have your own dreams (either bullshit some sexy sounding one or else never mention any specifics as you probably have no idea what to do with your life), try running the good old guilt trip if you have any dirt on them or for a more subtle approach assure them that you are mature and you do not need their guidance and then as soon as they stop paying attention play games all day, surf the web, masturbate to porn, and ignore any or all responsibilities toward your own future. That last one has to be done gradually so as to fool both your parents and yourself until one day you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you fucked yourself at which point you can make another blog akin to the dozen or so that are made each week on this forum lamenting shitty decisions with long term consequences.
Hey bud, I get it. No I really do. This kinda suck when you got to do these things called work and responsibility. Its totally normal to want to jerk off and do what you really want but lets face it, what you really want to do is probably an infatuation with some useless crap that 10 years from now you will look back on and wonder why you wasted so much time on it. I mean seriously you probably should not even be playing games as much as you are right now. Nobody is going to give a shit about your win-loss record in SC2 a few years from now, not even you. Your grades might matter though.
So take a deep breath and grow up. So what you're saying is that threatening to kick your child out if he doesn't bring home perfect grades at the cost of any kind of reasonable social development is the way to go? There is a huge, huge difference between growing up as responsible, smart and well educated and being grown up as a streamlined worker. Obviously there are pros and cons to parenting in such a way, however painting a completely unreal picture of how horrible ones life will be if one doesn't obey his parents and isn't a perfect student should not be part of such a topic.
Hi r.Evo. I read your post and I think you are really missing the point of what I was trying to convey to the OP. The methodology that this parents are employing is not as pertinent to the discussion as the choice that the OP has to make. He could have parents on the opposite side of the spectrum and he would still need to make a decision about his future and about the person that he wants to be. My post will undoubtedly draw criticism because its a tough love kind of deal but please address the real issue at hand.
The truth is that ideological styles of parenting are irrelevant because ideals are just that. Real world problems present real world choices which result in decisions based on all factors. I can sympathize with the OPs parents because I realize that this is the culmination of a history of interactions between members of the family. No doubt it took time and escalation to get to this point. I also understand that the OPs parents are bluffing, they know they are bluffing, they are not happy to make threats but that they are probably frustrated and have dwindling options in accomplishing their goal, and that goal is simple they want a stable future for their kid. Not the best, not the ideal, not the perfect future, but simply a stable one. People are typically underachievers and so setting the bar high raises performance. The OPs parents will not kick him out, parents very seldom kick a kid out and if they do its definitely not for failing to high standards. Its all part of a delicate dance that is the complicated dynamic of the parent-child relationship.
So r.Evo, there is no real right way to go there are only decisions and consequences based on goals and on personal relationships. There is no need to debate style of parenting here - rather the OP should be pushed to take on personal responsibility toward his future and should show gratitude toward his parents. That gratitude stems from a huge list of things parents have to do to ensure that their child reaches his age and you will not understand that list until you have a kid of your own.
To the OP I would like to direct a comment:
Picture who you want to be 10 years from now. Then ask yourself if your current lifestyle and attitude can accomplish that vision. After that ask yourself if, as an adult with a potential family of his own, would you be satisfied with the things that would satisfy you as a teenager. Plan for the future so that when it comes you will not have regrets.
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This is a true high school asian blog. Only advice, as some1 who went through this shit before, is to rebel. If your parents actually care about you and aren't narrow minded people who can't look beyond their own selfish desires and whatever else, and are educated/continue to educate themselves about many different things and raising children, then they will look at things in your perspective, read about and research teenagers in today's society, go talk with their friends and etc, change, and become more flexible. The downside to this is that once they give you the freedom to live life the way you want, you gain responsibilities. Unless your parents are really nice and are willing to pay for your shit despite not living a life that they see as proper, then you have to be responsible for real adult things like money, housing, food, clothes, and etc. If you're not willing to man up and fix all your problems without whining about how shitty your life is, then I recommend going back, self reflecting about how good your life actually is, (You get food, love, clothes, a place to live, you don't need to get a job, etc), and stop crying about your first world problems(once you do this, you will probably start getting chicks too, cuz you're not a boi anymore, but a man), then go back, be a good boi, and do whatever the shit it is that your parents want you to do and realize how blessed you are.
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On February 16 2013 14:02 Ximeng wrote:Show nested quote +On February 16 2013 13:06 r.Evo wrote:On February 16 2013 12:49 Ximeng wrote:
3) Fight your parents. Make sure to do it like a little bitch too and by this I mean use the old tried and true lines of its your life not theirs, you have your own dreams (either bullshit some sexy sounding one or else never mention any specifics as you probably have no idea what to do with your life), try running the good old guilt trip if you have any dirt on them or for a more subtle approach assure them that you are mature and you do not need their guidance and then as soon as they stop paying attention play games all day, surf the web, masturbate to porn, and ignore any or all responsibilities toward your own future. That last one has to be done gradually so as to fool both your parents and yourself until one day you wake up, look in the mirror, and realize you fucked yourself at which point you can make another blog akin to the dozen or so that are made each week on this forum lamenting shitty decisions with long term consequences.
Hey bud, I get it. No I really do. This kinda suck when you got to do these things called work and responsibility. Its totally normal to want to jerk off and do what you really want but lets face it, what you really want to do is probably an infatuation with some useless crap that 10 years from now you will look back on and wonder why you wasted so much time on it. I mean seriously you probably should not even be playing games as much as you are right now. Nobody is going to give a shit about your win-loss record in SC2 a few years from now, not even you. Your grades might matter though.
So take a deep breath and grow up. So what you're saying is that threatening to kick your child out if he doesn't bring home perfect grades at the cost of any kind of reasonable social development is the way to go? There is a huge, huge difference between growing up as responsible, smart and well educated and being grown up as a streamlined worker. Obviously there are pros and cons to parenting in such a way, however painting a completely unreal picture of how horrible ones life will be if one doesn't obey his parents and isn't a perfect student should not be part of such a topic. Hi r.Evo. I read your post and I think you are really missing the point of what I was trying to convey to the OP. The methodology that this parents are employing is not as pertinent to the discussion as the choice that the OP has to make. He could have parents on the opposite side of the spectrum and he would still need to make a decision about his future and about the person that he wants to be. My post will undoubtedly draw criticism because its a tough love kind of deal but please address the real issue at hand. The truth is that ideological styles of parenting are irrelevant because ideals are just that. Real world problems present real world choices which result in decisions based on all factors. I can sympathize with the OPs parents because I realize that this is the culmination of a history of interactions between members of the family. No doubt it took time and escalation to get to this point. I also understand that the OPs parents are bluffing, they know they are bluffing, they are not happy to make threats but that they are probably frustrated and have dwindling options in accomplishing their goal, and that goal is simple they want a stable future for their kid. Not the best, not the ideal, not the perfect future, but simply a stable one. People are typically underachievers and so setting the bar high raises performance. The OPs parents will not kick him out, parents very seldom kick a kid out and if they do its definitely not for failing to high standards. Its all part of a delicate dance that is the complicated dynamic of the parent-child relationship. So r.Evo, there is no real right way to go there are only decisions and consequences based on goals and on personal relationships. There is no need to debate style of parenting here - rather the OP should be pushed to take on personal responsibility toward his future and should show gratitude toward his parents. That gratitude stems from a huge list of things parents have to do to ensure that their child reaches his age and you will not understand that list until you have a kid of your own. To the OP I would like to direct a comment: Picture who you want to be 10 years from now. Then ask yourself if your current lifestyle and attitude can accomplish that vision. After that ask yourself if, as an adult with a potential family of his own, would you be satisfied with the things that would satisfy you as a teenager. Plan for the future so that when it comes you will not have regrets.
Seconded. Your parents push you because you don't push yourself.
Fix that and they will stop.
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On February 16 2013 11:37 I_Love_Katheryn wrote:
My parents didn't even get me an iphone
This is my favorite part.
also when he quotes Linkin Park
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EPT
