First thing you have to realize is that you aren't entitled to anything. You aren't entitled to happiness, good grades, or an iPhone. (seriously, an iphone? come on...) First of all you need to realize what makes you happy. Is it making your parents happy with good grades? Is it playing starcraft? Is it playing sports? Then do that. Obviously it will help if you do well on your grades. Just study a bit harder and try to bring your grades up. Maybe use your parents as motivation. They say you will be a janitor? Then prove them wrong! As for me, I am happy when I lift weights. I'm not even that good at it, but it's fun. Maybe you should try something like that.

L_Master

United States8017 Posts

February 17 2013 21:39 GMT

#65

Something gives me the feeling if the OP had titled the blog "Domineering Parents", and removed the bit about the iphone he would have gotten a entirely different set of responses.

guN-viCe

United States687 Posts

February 17 2013 23:28 GMT

#66

Confront your parents and stand your ground(respectfully). Tell them to relax and that everything will be OK, you are turning into a man.

SlowBullets

United States839 Posts

February 18 2013 00:23 GMT

#67

On February 16 2013 14:39 PH wrote:

Show nested quote +

Stopped taking you seriously right there.

For real, I was happy to get a brick at the age of 15...didnt get a smartphone till 21 or so.

Cambium

United States16368 Posts

February 18 2013 01:28 GMT

#68

The responses are actually pretty funny, we have two schools of thinking

1) your parents are right, you are a failure by Asian standards
2) your parents are monsters, you are entitled to whatever freedom you desire

:D

SamsungStar

United States912 Posts

February 18 2013 01:33 GMT

#69

On February 18 2013 09:23 SlowBullets wrote:

Show nested quote +

For real, I was happy to get a brick at the age of 15...didnt get a smartphone till 21 or so.

One of my fondest memories as a child was playing Starcraft 1 nonstop for days on end the first week it came out. My dad's response was to tell me to get off the computer and go do some homework. I ignored him twice. The third time he said it, he came into the room, shoved the CD-ROM button so my SC disk popped out, then he broke it in half in front of my face.

I had saved all my money for oh, I'd say 10 months? to buy the game and had been anticipating playing ever since I read a tiny little article in PC Gamer while at the grocery store about a new Warcraft called Starcraft: Orcs in Space. Ofc, that all changed later into the SC we know and love, but the first concept art showed orcs in planes and weird ziggurat looking things with tentacles coming out of them.

Anyhow, I had to go without SC for another 3 months while trying to scrape together enough cash for another copy. In the end, my brothers took pity on me and pitched in to help me get it.

The morale of my story? My father's destruction of SC led me to bond more closely with my brothers and that bond is absolutely priceless. Good ol' Asian parenting

llIH

Norway2147 Posts

February 18 2013 01:39 GMT

#70

Your parents want your best. End of story.

Burrfoot

United States1176 Posts

February 18 2013 02:12 GMT

#71

On February 18 2013 10:39 llIH wrote:
Your parents want your best. End of story.

Or, they want to save face in front of their family and college friends who are also demanding their kids excel and succeed in life!

ghrur

United States3786 Posts

February 18 2013 02:13 GMT

#72

I cannot sympathize with you OP. Csheep, however, wins.

Srizzle

2 Posts

March 17 2013 19:06 GMT

#73

Even though almost all of us say that "your parents want the best for you", I have to say, if we took this to an extremely objective case, and forget all the feelings/desire at first, then it's pretty obvious that what his parents are doing isn't always the MOST efficient method for whatever goal they have (i.e., college, success in whatever, etc.).

This is also largely dependent on viewpoint: here in California (I just moved here), I've found most 'Asians' here are quite laidback sometimes, even though they still achieve much more than people in other places. Furthermore, many of the "Asians" here are quite social, and indeed do have many 'accomplishments'.

This all shows that there INDEED is something wrong with this sort of parenting (I never said what that problem was however, but you can at least agree with me on that?). It's definitely not something you can just think as always being good.
Based on what the OP has told me about his social/emotional problems, etc., that's not something to pass over. Especially when these problems actually do affect his 'studying' and academics. Later on in life, he might even have other problems, but since there are so many posts on 'doing well in school', etc., I'd rather just argue with that right now.
About whatever "not getting an iPhone" etc. he's talking about, do note that this indeed shows the typical theory that " if you have no fun, then you will succeed by working", which is completely wrong. Sometimes even my peers use their phones to research whatever idea they have...

Way I see it, I don't think there's this one-dimensional variable (which people term to be studying) that you have to increase only in order to gain a large amount of success, even in academics.

Do note that, many times, information gathering, learning, etc. are all based on that skill of being social. Many of us get advice from other people, right? So, there is indeed an importance to interaction, etc. Furthermore, alot of the times, our ideas/performance stems greatly from emotional support; it's not just 'study study study' that makes us 'efficient' and 'successful'. Many of the world's inventions, theories, work, etc. are a testament to curiosity, interest, etc. and NOT 'work'. And...by this age, it's pretty damn important to have that quality of knowing what's important, especially when you're going into the sciences. You have to fail alot at the sciences with your ideas in order to actually gain anything...and he's just sheltered from FAILURE right now.

This lack of knowing what's good and important is already shown by the OP's statement about studying for AP biology for med school/'finding a cure for cancer', which sound so totally idealistic/"naive".

Can you guarentee he'll gain SKILLS from following his parents like that? As a past math olympiad honorable mention/winner, (I don't mean any arrogance), I find what he's doing REALLY INEFFICIENT and counterproductive to his own/parents' goals, especially with the area of math/science.

Do note that, because of this type of overbearing-parenting in China, not much progress has been made in college; many Chinese are complaining about how the colleges in China are very lackluster.

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