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The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings and thus to be able to focus on different subjects I need to advance in without any distracting thoughts. This has worked pretty well for the last years, but last week I met this damn gorgeous girl in my physics class when the teacher assigned random pairs to work on small presentations about different topics regarding electromagnetism. I normally ignore any feelings I have when I'm dealing with girls at school because I just want to get the shit done, but this time I couldn't hold back my urge to glaze at her face every now and then, and pretty often our eyes met in this fashion. Something in her eyes was just... dammit...
Fast forward after the presentation, I catch her looking at me several times during classes (and myself looking at her because otherwise I wouldn't have noticed). She added me on FB, no big deal, everyone does that here. One day I walk in the library to get this one book, only to find out that she was about 50m away in line of sight from the spot where I was searching the book, minding her own business with her own book. I think she saw me at one point when I was pretending to not look at her, and then she instantly switched on the girl mode, you know, fixing her hair and looking nervous and shit. On the contrary I don't like to be interrupted when I'm reading something so I applied that to her as well and I left her alone and moved on.
I'm 99% sure I'm imagining it all up. I thought I got rid of these irrational feelings after my stupid teenager years, but looks like not. I wanted to devote this weekend into learning stuff like Chinese, programming, electronics and math, but I just can't do it right now because this damn girl keeps popping in my head every other minute. Literally. I can't afford to do this at my current stage of life.
TL;DR - How do you dispose of irrational thoughts like these and get on with your regular life? I haven't had a GF for the last 2 years and I've been perfectly happy about being single and improving myself in the process of it, but now my brain just fucks with me — Must be that male biology... I almost never ask for help with issues like these because I like to find solutions by myself, but right now I'm seriously clueless...
Thanks
  
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Haha it sounds like one of those Sheldon Cooper problems in The Big Bang Theory ^.^
Im afraid tho that it's not possible to get rid of all your feelings for her by "thinking them away", just because it's your "primal you"s desire. If i where you i would have taken the chance to get closer to her. Maybe you don't need to sacrifise too much time away from what you'd like in school because you're doing the same courses there.
GLHF man 
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You could try alcohol but that's hardly more productive than sexual feelings.
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On May 12 2012 19:12 Sinensis wrote:
You could try alcohol but that's hardly more productive than sexual feelings.
I'll get my hookah later this evening and listen to chillout... Should be just as effective. 
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It is your job, biologically, to further your genes, so your brain could be trying to get you to do that. If you don't want to get in a relationship with her/try to, just ignore her and keep this in mind.
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You poor fellow, you've clearly been struck by pon farr.
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On May 12 2012 19:14 marttorn wrote:
If you don't want to get in a relationship with her/try to, just ignore her and keep this in mind.
Oh boy, if it was that easy. It has worked before, but this one is a tough one...
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Associate her with this joke:
I was sitting opposite a really hot Thai girl on the train this morning.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
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The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings and thus to be able to focus on different subjects I need to advance in without any distracting thoughts.
Maybe its because I've read "The Game" but that sentence seems weird =) (Blah blah Harness sexual energies blah blah)
All you need is time. When you don't really know her and doesn't interact with her for some time she will vanish from your mind. Problem occurs if you see or talk to her on a daily basis. So either remove her from your daily life and move on or get to know her and find her flaws an focus on them. It will make her be less attractive. Last method can fail if you just fall for her more
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I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.
If she's giving you any sort of signal whatever, just go up to her and say hey I really want to say that I like you, let's go out, it would be fun. Then just use a random date idea it could be anything but I advise against a movie.
If she shoots you down...big fucking whoop...that's just as good a result as her saying yes. You'll get the tingly feelings out of your head entirely (the *does she like me? Could this be the start of a wonderful love story?*) and then you can find another female to ask out. As long as you judge your attractiveness right and don't aim too high, you'll succeed in about 3-4 tries. (If you fail, maybe you judge yourself too highly and need to take an assessment of yourself).
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Fast forward after the presentation, I catch her looking at me several times during classes (and myself looking at her because otherwise I wouldn't have noticed).
This made me laugh. Thank you for the explanation.
The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings [...]
Solution: Masturbate more.
PS.: jmbthirteen made me do it.
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On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote:
I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough..
I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time.
On May 12 2012 20:02 JOJOsc2news wrote:
Solution: Masturbate more.
I saw that coming and that's certainly not a bad suggestion at all.
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This might sound counter-intuitive but it worked well for me: Try masturbating while looking at her.
1) It should be faster. 2) You will lose interest in her afterwards.
Possible issues: a) You can't see her (boobs) clearly in class.
b) Professor misinterprets your behaviour.
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Some quality advice in here lol
Anyway you could always try to approach her a bit carelessly on purpose in order to get willingly rejected; that ought to diminish any romantic thoughts about her
+ Show Spoiler +
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Falling in love is such an annoying thing is it not?
I am not aware of any such way to dispose of these feelings. They do get in the way of all too precious studying. Unfortunately there's no trick or shortcut to get rid of them; it's about as difficult to suppress as many other emotions are, and only rigorous mental discipline can reel them in.
Of course, this discipline isn't something acquired overnight, but involves countless hours of meditation and practice. And, in my experience, love is one of the strongest and most difficult of emotions to suppress. But, it's rooted in physiology.
Try masturbating more. It's not unreasonable to think that your encounters with this girl are causing parts of the brain related to sexuality to be more active. That is what we're evolved to do, after all.
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Protip: sexual and romantic interactions with people are part of "regular life." Talk to her! You do not need to jump into a serious relationship that takes up all of your time. A cup of coffee, a beer, or maybe a little more will not take too much time away from your study schedule. And if you hook up with her, that will release some of that pressure!
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Look, its not like you have to marry her or something. And if she was on the same class as you, then probably she would understand you spending time on your studies. Also, from what you have described, she seems to be interested in you (It took me 23 years to learn, that how little means a lot). Also these feelings are genetically encoded in you, so I see no point in trying to resist..
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On May 12 2012 21:23 Kuzmorgo wrote:
Also these feelings are genetically encoded in you, so I see no point in trying to resist..
How about just because? If you get me? I mean you might as well..
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On May 12 2012 20:09 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote:
I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.. I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time.
Sorry but I was EXACTLY the same as you and I promise you on no uncertain terms: this will get worse. I was perfectly comfortable on my own 99% of the time but had a 1% desire for a gf...for about 2 years too. Then by the 3rd year it was more like 50%. You might as well start developing some courage and some ability to get a girlfriend because it ain't gona go away and why would you want it to, it's great to have a gf.
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Masturbate during class. Problem solved.
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On May 12 2012 21:48 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 20:09 Vector Jay wrote:On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote:
I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.. I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time. Sorry but I was EXACTLY the same as you and I promise you on no uncertain terms: this will get worse. I was perfectly comfortable on my own 99% of the time but had a 1% desire for a gf...for about 2 years too. Then by the 3rd year it was more like 50%. You might as well start developing some courage and some ability to get a girlfriend because it ain't gona go away and why would you want it to, it's great to have a gf.
I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 months, haven't had sex for 3 (longest period in ~3 years), and I am fucking DYING. Every woman who is even slightly attractive, my brain is "you got this bro go sex that bitch up you can do it." Friends who are girls, well let's just say my brain does something similar. It takes master self-control for me not to do anything about these impulses, knowing they are hormonal.
As far as masturbation, I think it holds you back in a way. It holds you back from being a sex-starved maniac, but it also holds you back from having the desire to approach women and get involved in relationships (which can be a good and bad thing, but I am kinda referring to the bad thing).
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I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing.
[citation needed]
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On May 12 2012 20:11 Stratos wrote:
This might sound counter-intuitive but it worked well for me: Try masturbating while looking at her.
1) It should be faster. 2) You will lose interest in her afterwards.
Possible issues: a) You can't see her (boobs) clearly in class.
b) Professor misinterprets your behaviour.
"No, Miss, you don't understand! I can't focus on my projects unless- awwww nuts! Detention on a Saturday?!?"
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
Ah, the dangers of masturbation!
![[image loading]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2170/1807025848_4944f38b77_o.gif)
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I think the first step to getting rid of them is realizing they're not irrational. Your system is just telling you to get a gf 
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
Sadly, this is rarely true in a young relationship. Once a relationship has developed and matured to the point where the pair aren't making googley eyes at each other at every beck and call, they can support each other.
A healthy distraction now and then never hurt, but if you want to be acadamic mode 100%, your best bet is sheer power of will. If you focus and devote yourself towards your studies, you shouldn't have as many problems with distractions.
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i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding:
1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend.
2) Oh... I have GOT to have her.
My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck!
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On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck!
Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
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On May 12 2012 23:34 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck! Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
Never thought that much into how I went about it. I'd turn on some classical or trance music ( anything without a lot of lyrics), stretch out and loosen up. Sometimes I would schedule my day, other times I would just veg out or try to cool down my brain. Never needed more than 5-8 minutes though, because I was only taking a short trip away from everything
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Why did you want to spend the weekend studying all those subjects? Coursework, etc.? Make sure you're not sacrificing relationships for optional studies...
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On May 12 2012 23:34 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck! Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
I think you should ask her out, it's not easy finding someone special.
Anyway, here are some meditation tips:
1. Sit or lie in a comfortable position (a position that doesn't strain your body).
2. Take a really deep breath, until you're unable to breathe in more air. Use the nasal route to do this.
3. Slowly breathe every bit of air out, until you're unable to breathe out any more air.
4. When starting to get parched for more air. repeat step 1 to 4.
5. You should monitor the cycle of air entering and getting out of your body and after 5 to 15 minutes you'll be completly relaxed if all goes well.
And last but not least. Meditation is very personal, there is no best method. So if you think something doesn't work for you, don't be afraid to change it.
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Poetry and women are similar in that one must stop thinking too hard about them in order to appreciate them.
tl;dr: "Ask her if she, like, maybe wants to come over and study maths together on the weekends or something?"
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Every time you think about her punch yourself in the balls.
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If you can figure out how to do that, then you've just ruined half the movies Hollywood poops out every year.
To be honest, I'd just enjoy it. Talk to the girl and see how it goes. Just have fun. I've intentionally avoided seriously dating for like five years now myself, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit as well, but that doesn't mean you should just shove all that other shit out of your mind.
Who knows, maybe you'll at least make a good friend out of it.
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On May 12 2012 18:50 Vector Jay wrote:
TL;DR - How do you dispose of irrational thoughts like these and get on with your regular life? I haven't had a GF for the last 2 years and I've been perfectly happy about being single and improving myself in the process of it, but now my brain just fucks with me
Frankly....you should just give into these feelings, something nice might happen AND the rest of your life will seem less burdensome too, trust me.
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I dont know, sounds like your itching for some companionship if you cant get her off your mind. Ask her out, go on a date or two, its easier to focus on other things when you know you'll have whole night for her. Worst case (or best case?) is she says no, then it will be way easier to forget her if you know shes not interested.
Life is short, theres no reason to deny yourself simply pleasures like a fun date or a new friend.
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This sounds like a first world problems meme nerd edition:
"Can't study quantum mechanics because me and this hot chick are in love with each other"
Pretty sure knowing chinese better and being a weekend better at electronics and math isn't going to make you happy. Integrated over your entire lifetime it's almost nothing but it feels like passing up chances like you have are often the things people regret in retrospect. Even assuming you are some kind of immune to procrastination machine who can devote his entire weekend to study usually I don't see why you should be completely ignoring things. You should have loads of time to catch up later. I guess it's a bad attitude but this seems like some kind of exception.
On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote:
I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.
If she's giving you any sort of signal whatever, just go up to her and say hey I really want to say that I like you, let's go out, it would be fun. Then just use a random date idea it could be anything but I advise against a movie.
If she shoots you down...big fucking whoop...that's just as good a result as her saying yes. You'll get the tingly feelings out of your head entirely (the *does she like me? Could this be the start of a wonderful love story?*) and then you can find another female to ask out. As long as you judge your attractiveness right and don't aim too high, you'll succeed in about 3-4 tries. (If you fail, maybe you judge yourself too highly and need to take an assessment of yourself).
This post seems pretty intelligent to me.
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How to forget her ?
First don't make blogs about her :D
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How to forget a girl? Get another girl.
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For the record, I think it's absolutely hilarious when hyper-rational posters complain about emotions and sexual urges trying their very best to rationalize them. It's not going to work, OP, so save yourself the trouble.
Simple "If I do X then my feelings go away" won't always work out for you; you're not a computer program.
Sure, there are many things you can try. Exercise is usually pretty good since it's so physical. Group activities are great because you're less likely to spontaneously drop trow and whack off. Independent activities like SC2, reading, studying, etc. may work, but more likely your mind will wander and end up in a frustrating failure.
The universal thing I can think of is ignoring the girl and letting a lot of time pass. It's the same idea when getting over a hard breakup.
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pretty much just time. after 6mo or so you wont care anymore if youre anything like me.
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Its just impossible to forget about a girl you once loved and had a relationship with. The feelings still dwell within just not as obvious =(
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On May 13 2012 01:33 Leth0 wrote:
How to forget a girl? Get another girl.
As stupid this sounds, I actually think this is the easiest way. Just push your passion onto someone else. It's easier to move it than remove it
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On May 13 2012 03:36 Mentalizor wrote:As stupid this sounds, I actually think this is the easiest way. Just push your passion onto someone else. It's easier to move it than remove it
That would just revive the cycle, wouldn't it? o_O
Just dump your time into another activity. Fill up your sched so much that you are literally too busy to think of her.
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Once you figure this out, let me know!
It's hard for me..but I just focus on my passions and realize I am just as well off alone as with someone else
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Well, shit. I tried to ignore her but looks like she hit up a conversation on FB by herself, even though I can see she's pretty shy. Looks like we both have had some similar hobbies, namely piano and singing, so we had a ton to talk about. Having this conversation was great, because I got rid of this silly romantic maelstrom and I can now see her as a regular friend and concentrate on my own activities without this silly lingering anymore. God knows if it's going to develop further, but I don't mind either way. At least I have a new friend right now.
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On May 14 2012 05:46 Vector Jay wrote:
Well, shit. I tried to ignore her but looks like she hit up a conversation on FB by herself, even though I can see she's pretty shy. Looks like we both have had some similar hobbies, namely piano and singing, so we had a ton to talk about. Having this conversation was great, because I got rid of this silly romantic maelstrom and I can now see her as a regular friend and concentrate on my own activities without this silly lingering anymore. God knows if it's going to develop further, but I don't mind either way. At least I have a new friend right now.
I'd laugh so hard if this became some kind of reverse girl blog where she REALLY wants him but she gets hard friend zoned hahahaha.
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this poor girl has no idea who she's dealing with..
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On May 13 2012 02:36 Disregard wrote:
Its just impossible to forget about a girl you once loved and had a relationship with. The feelings still dwell within just not as obvious =(
I feel you brother... I feel you.
Lots of those in my life.
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didn't bother reading the entire thread just the op, but will just leave you with this... Some people have to search for love, while others are found by love. It's all part of the human experience, either act on it or don't. Most of the time 'don't' is a very difficult option to pursue, the choice is obviously yours to make however.
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Oh lord. Quality advice all over this thread.
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Given enough time you can forget anything.
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On May 14 2012 05:59 Slayer91 wrote:Show nested quote +On May 14 2012 05:46 Vector Jay wrote:
Well, shit. I tried to ignore her but looks like she hit up a conversation on FB by herself, even though I can see she's pretty shy. Looks like we both have had some similar hobbies, namely piano and singing, so we had a ton to talk about. Having this conversation was great, because I got rid of this silly romantic maelstrom and I can now see her as a regular friend and concentrate on my own activities without this silly lingering anymore. God knows if it's going to develop further, but I don't mind either way. At least I have a new friend right now. I'd laugh so hard if this became some kind of reverse girl blog where she REALLY wants him but she gets hard friend zoned hahahaha.
It would be absolutely hilarious if the girl posts a girl blog here on TL, and the stories line up exactly.
Then it would become awkward...ly hilarious.
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She's coming to my place next Friday. Asked me if she could meet me on this 4-day vacation. I don't like generic stuff like movies or boring restaurants so instead I offered we'd go to a store, buy items and she'd come to my place and we'd cook something delicious. We've been hanging out a little this week around school, talking to get to know each other. She's really nervous when around me even though she's the one who's been initiating our meet-ups, that must've taken some courage. Something for me to learn. She's intelligent, pretty, and has a great body. And the way she looks into my eyes is otherworldly. I still can't study because she keeps popping in my head, she's been skipping school to get in contact with me as well..
I've been single for 2 years with a few chances to get in a relationship but I deliberately denied them because I wanted to focus on myself. Not this time, the more I tell myself to ignore her the more I feel like I'm lying to myself.
I'll lead this from now on. I love learning, why not learn how to have a stable relationship? That should grow one as a person as well.
And sorry if this sounds like bragging, I don't intend to. While I'm confident, I'm also a bit confused and even scared. In my previous relationships I hurt the girl big time by being a stupid dick, which I still regret. I don't wanna do it again.
jay
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We're together now. She's extremely empathetic and lovely. I feel like I need someone like her in my life, not sure why, but I'm going to hold on to her from now on.
Thanks for all the advice on how to forget about her, even though it didn't go to use. I felt like lying to myself so this way is most likely better.
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well, well...such stuff as dreams are made
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These responses are worse than yahoo answers
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Join the debate team and be a master debator.
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go to the pool and try and break the record for holding your breath underwater.
coming out of the water and taking that first breath will be all that's on your mind. remember that feeling every time you think about something like this.
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Read his posts, yo, this is a happy story! The most obvious thing usually is just to go talk to the person, maybe try to strike up a relationship with her or with somebody else so you can let out romantic tension or what have you, but it's definitely easier than done....so hard to just go up and do it even though it's pretty much win-win usually T.T
Congratulations though :D so awesome that you two sort of had that connection all along and it wasn't in your imagination etc hehe~
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LOL.
The really funny part to me is that the whole "Uh, how can I get rid of those feelings?!" instead of "How can I get into this girls vajajaijai?" is what made it happen in the first place.
wp sir, wp. =D
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EPT![[image loading]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Vv6uJExQ0GM/TKnT9tukEpI/AAAAAAAAAAQ/0JGjuyh_K2Y/s1600/jack_daniels.jpg.jpeg)
