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The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings and thus to be able to focus on different subjects I need to advance in without any distracting thoughts. This has worked pretty well for the last years, but last week I met this damn gorgeous girl in my physics class when the teacher assigned random pairs to work on small presentations about different topics regarding electromagnetism. I normally ignore any feelings I have when I'm dealing with girls at school because I just want to get the shit done, but this time I couldn't hold back my urge to glaze at her face every now and then, and pretty often our eyes met in this fashion. Something in her eyes was just... dammit...
Fast forward after the presentation, I catch her looking at me several times during classes (and myself looking at her because otherwise I wouldn't have noticed). She added me on FB, no big deal, everyone does that here. One day I walk in the library to get this one book, only to find out that she was about 50m away in line of sight from the spot where I was searching the book, minding her own business with her own book. I think she saw me at one point when I was pretending to not look at her, and then she instantly switched on the girl mode, you know, fixing her hair and looking nervous and shit. On the contrary I don't like to be interrupted when I'm reading something so I applied that to her as well and I left her alone and moved on.
I'm 99% sure I'm imagining it all up. I thought I got rid of these irrational feelings after my stupid teenager years, but looks like not. I wanted to devote this weekend into learning stuff like Chinese, programming, electronics and math, but I just can't do it right now because this damn girl keeps popping in my head every other minute. Literally. I can't afford to do this at my current stage of life.
TL;DR - How do you dispose of irrational thoughts like these and get on with your regular life? I haven't had a GF for the last 2 years and I've been perfectly happy about being single and improving myself in the process of it, but now my brain just fucks with me — Must be that male biology... I almost never ask for help with issues like these because I like to find solutions by myself, but right now I'm seriously clueless...
Thanks
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Haha it sounds like one of those Sheldon Cooper problems in The Big Bang Theory ^.^
Im afraid tho that it's not possible to get rid of all your feelings for her by "thinking them away", just because it's your "primal you"s desire. If i where you i would have taken the chance to get closer to her. Maybe you don't need to sacrifise too much time away from what you'd like in school because you're doing the same courses there.
GLHF man
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You could try alcohol but that's hardly more productive than sexual feelings.
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On May 12 2012 19:12 Sinensis wrote: You could try alcohol but that's hardly more productive than sexual feelings.
I'll get my hookah later this evening and listen to chillout... Should be just as effective.
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It is your job, biologically, to further your genes, so your brain could be trying to get you to do that. If you don't want to get in a relationship with her/try to, just ignore her and keep this in mind.
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You poor fellow, you've clearly been struck by pon farr.
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On May 12 2012 19:14 marttorn wrote: If you don't want to get in a relationship with her/try to, just ignore her and keep this in mind.
Oh boy, if it was that easy. It has worked before, but this one is a tough one...
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Associate her with this joke:
I was sitting opposite a really hot Thai girl on the train this morning.
I thought to myself, "Please don't get an erection, Please don't get an erection."
But she did.
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The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings and thus to be able to focus on different subjects I need to advance in without any distracting thoughts.
Maybe its because I've read "The Game" but that sentence seems weird =) (Blah blah Harness sexual energies blah blah)
All you need is time. When you don't really know her and doesn't interact with her for some time she will vanish from your mind. Problem occurs if you see or talk to her on a daily basis. So either remove her from your daily life and move on or get to know her and find her flaws an focus on them. It will make her be less attractive. Last method can fail if you just fall for her more
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I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.
If she's giving you any sort of signal whatever, just go up to her and say hey I really want to say that I like you, let's go out, it would be fun. Then just use a random date idea it could be anything but I advise against a movie.
If she shoots you down...big fucking whoop...that's just as good a result as her saying yes. You'll get the tingly feelings out of your head entirely (the *does she like me? Could this be the start of a wonderful love story?*) and then you can find another female to ask out. As long as you judge your attractiveness right and don't aim too high, you'll succeed in about 3-4 tries. (If you fail, maybe you judge yourself too highly and need to take an assessment of yourself).
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Fast forward after the presentation, I catch her looking at me several times during classes (and myself looking at her because otherwise I wouldn't have noticed).
This made me laugh. Thank you for the explanation.
The reason I masturbate every day is to get rid of all sexual feelings [...]
Solution: Masturbate more.
PS.: jmbthirteen made me do it.
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On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote: I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough..
I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time.
On May 12 2012 20:02 JOJOsc2news wrote: Solution: Masturbate more.
I saw that coming and that's certainly not a bad suggestion at all.
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This might sound counter-intuitive but it worked well for me: Try masturbating while looking at her. 1) It should be faster. 2) You will lose interest in her afterwards.
Possible issues: a) You can't see her (boobs) clearly in class. b) Professor misinterprets your behaviour.
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Some quality advice in here lol
Anyway you could always try to approach her a bit carelessly on purpose in order to get willingly rejected; that ought to diminish any romantic thoughts about her
+ Show Spoiler +
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Falling in love is such an annoying thing is it not?
I am not aware of any such way to dispose of these feelings. They do get in the way of all too precious studying. Unfortunately there's no trick or shortcut to get rid of them; it's about as difficult to suppress as many other emotions are, and only rigorous mental discipline can reel them in.
Of course, this discipline isn't something acquired overnight, but involves countless hours of meditation and practice. And, in my experience, love is one of the strongest and most difficult of emotions to suppress. But, it's rooted in physiology.
Try masturbating more. It's not unreasonable to think that your encounters with this girl are causing parts of the brain related to sexuality to be more active. That is what we're evolved to do, after all.
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Protip: sexual and romantic interactions with people are part of "regular life." Talk to her! You do not need to jump into a serious relationship that takes up all of your time. A cup of coffee, a beer, or maybe a little more will not take too much time away from your study schedule. And if you hook up with her, that will release some of that pressure!
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Look, its not like you have to marry her or something. And if she was on the same class as you, then probably she would understand you spending time on your studies. Also, from what you have described, she seems to be interested in you (It took me 23 years to learn, that how little means a lot). Also these feelings are genetically encoded in you, so I see no point in trying to resist..
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On May 12 2012 21:23 Kuzmorgo wrote: Also these feelings are genetically encoded in you, so I see no point in trying to resist.. How about just because? If you get me? I mean you might as well..
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On May 12 2012 20:09 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote: I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.. I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time.
Sorry but I was EXACTLY the same as you and I promise you on no uncertain terms: this will get worse. I was perfectly comfortable on my own 99% of the time but had a 1% desire for a gf...for about 2 years too. Then by the 3rd year it was more like 50%. You might as well start developing some courage and some ability to get a girlfriend because it ain't gona go away and why would you want it to, it's great to have a gf.
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Masturbate during class. Problem solved.
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