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On May 12 2012 21:48 sc4k wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 20:09 Vector Jay wrote:On May 12 2012 19:56 sc4k wrote:
I tell you right now the only way you will get rid of those feelings is getting a girlfriend. I'd say that thinking about having a girlfriend eventually wastes more time than actually having a girlfriend, if you are alone and want company for long enough.. I've been fine for the last 2 years apart from a few really minor periods of affection (less than 3 days), so it doesn't take nearly as much time as it would if I had a GF of some sort... Really anything that gets her out of my mind is good. The waiting suggestion was good because it has worked before, it's probably just going to take a tad bit longer this time. Sorry but I was EXACTLY the same as you and I promise you on no uncertain terms: this will get worse. I was perfectly comfortable on my own 99% of the time but had a 1% desire for a gf...for about 2 years too. Then by the 3rd year it was more like 50%. You might as well start developing some courage and some ability to get a girlfriend because it ain't gona go away and why would you want it to, it's great to have a gf.
I haven't had a girlfriend in 8 months, haven't had sex for 3 (longest period in ~3 years), and I am fucking DYING. Every woman who is even slightly attractive, my brain is "you got this bro go sex that bitch up you can do it." Friends who are girls, well let's just say my brain does something similar. It takes master self-control for me not to do anything about these impulses, knowing they are hormonal.
As far as masturbation, I think it holds you back in a way. It holds you back from being a sex-starved maniac, but it also holds you back from having the desire to approach women and get involved in relationships (which can be a good and bad thing, but I am kinda referring to the bad thing).
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I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing.
[citation needed]
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On May 12 2012 20:11 Stratos wrote:
This might sound counter-intuitive but it worked well for me: Try masturbating while looking at her.
1) It should be faster. 2) You will lose interest in her afterwards.
Possible issues: a) You can't see her (boobs) clearly in class.
b) Professor misinterprets your behaviour.
"No, Miss, you don't understand! I can't focus on my projects unless- awwww nuts! Detention on a Saturday?!?"
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
Ah, the dangers of masturbation!
![[image loading]](http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2170/1807025848_4944f38b77_o.gif)
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I think the first step to getting rid of them is realizing they're not irrational. Your system is just telling you to get a gf 
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On May 12 2012 22:33 HypernovA wrote:
I don't think masturbation is a good thing. And to be honest, I feel like if this girl was in your life, you would do a lot better.
She seems to be a really good fit for you and she seems to like you.
Sadly, this is rarely true in a young relationship. Once a relationship has developed and matured to the point where the pair aren't making googley eyes at each other at every beck and call, they can support each other.
A healthy distraction now and then never hurt, but if you want to be acadamic mode 100%, your best bet is sheer power of will. If you focus and devote yourself towards your studies, you shouldn't have as many problems with distractions.
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i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding:
1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend.
2) Oh... I have GOT to have her.
My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion  Good luck!
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On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck!
Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
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On May 12 2012 23:34 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck! Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
Never thought that much into how I went about it. I'd turn on some classical or trance music ( anything without a lot of lyrics), stretch out and loosen up. Sometimes I would schedule my day, other times I would just veg out or try to cool down my brain. Never needed more than 5-8 minutes though, because I was only taking a short trip away from everything
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Why did you want to spend the weekend studying all those subjects? Coursework, etc.? Make sure you're not sacrificing relationships for optional studies...
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On May 12 2012 23:34 Vector Jay wrote:Show nested quote +On May 12 2012 23:29 Kyokai wrote:i think a mixture of meditation and social interaction are needed. Masturbation could be one way of releasing stress but mediation can help in different ways. I think you're trying too hard to suppress it, and it's not effective anymore because you're still think about your mental image of her in a way. Social interaction could be a double-edged sword, since you could be talking to them and either deciding: 1) They're a really cool person, who I want more as a friend. 2) Oh... I have GOT to have her. My friend and I had the same problem last year and we talked about this a lot. I did the brute force method, even making sure the girl I liked had no possible interest in me whatsoever to somehow trick my brain. It works for a while but eventually your willpower begins to diminish and the lingering pain returns. Just my opinion Good luck! Any tips on meditation? When, how long, what to think about, how to prepare et cetera. Meditation in general has always interested me! I could afford 15-20 minutes every morning if necessary.
I think you should ask her out, it's not easy finding someone special.
Anyway, here are some meditation tips:
1. Sit or lie in a comfortable position (a position that doesn't strain your body).
2. Take a really deep breath, until you're unable to breathe in more air. Use the nasal route to do this.
3. Slowly breathe every bit of air out, until you're unable to breathe out any more air.
4. When starting to get parched for more air. repeat step 1 to 4.
5. You should monitor the cycle of air entering and getting out of your body and after 5 to 15 minutes you'll be completly relaxed if all goes well.
And last but not least. Meditation is very personal, there is no best method. So if you think something doesn't work for you, don't be afraid to change it.
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Poetry and women are similar in that one must stop thinking too hard about them in order to appreciate them.
tl;dr: "Ask her if she, like, maybe wants to come over and study maths together on the weekends or something?"
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Every time you think about her punch yourself in the balls.
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If you can figure out how to do that, then you've just ruined half the movies Hollywood poops out every year.
To be honest, I'd just enjoy it. Talk to the girl and see how it goes. Just have fun. I've intentionally avoided seriously dating for like five years now myself, and I'm enjoying it quite a bit as well, but that doesn't mean you should just shove all that other shit out of your mind.
Who knows, maybe you'll at least make a good friend out of it.
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On May 12 2012 18:50 Vector Jay wrote:
TL;DR - How do you dispose of irrational thoughts like these and get on with your regular life? I haven't had a GF for the last 2 years and I've been perfectly happy about being single and improving myself in the process of it, but now my brain just fucks with me
Frankly....you should just give into these feelings, something nice might happen AND the rest of your life will seem less burdensome too, trust me.
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I dont know, sounds like your itching for some companionship if you cant get her off your mind. Ask her out, go on a date or two, its easier to focus on other things when you know you'll have whole night for her. Worst case (or best case?) is she says no, then it will be way easier to forget her if you know shes not interested.
Life is short, theres no reason to deny yourself simply pleasures like a fun date or a new friend.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_Vv6uJExQ0GM/TKnT9tukEpI/AAAAAAAAAAQ/0JGjuyh_K2Y/s1600/jack_daniels.jpg.jpeg)
