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United States22883 Posts
On April 07 2012 07:48 meguca wrote:
I searched and searched, but could not physically locate her at school. Then, I texted her; however, after asking "so do you have any plans for the weekend?", I stopped receiving replies (I had initiated a conversation by mentioning how Maurizio Pollini might not actually have died, even though it is rumored that he has indeed passed away). It is almost 4 PM, what do I do? I have been awaiting a reply for over an hour. I do not know if it would seem peculiar if I called her.
People get busy. Don't freak out over it.
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Certainly, though, not so busy that they cannot reply to a text message for many hours while having sufficient time to briefly log into Facebook and 'like' an image?
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you're over thinking it, wait till you can see her in person or call her tomorrow
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On April 07 2012 10:30 meguca wrote:
Certainly, though, not so busy that they cannot reply to a text message for many hours while having sufficient time to briefly log into Facebook and 'like' an image?
There are countless reasons why she wouldn't reply that have nothing to do with her not being interested in you. Don't make assumptions and definitely don't press her to respond a whole bunch
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On April 07 2012 07:48 meguca wrote:
I searched and searched, but could not physically locate her at school. Then, I texted her; however, after asking "so do you have any plans for the weekend?", I stopped receiving replies (I had initiated a conversation by mentioning how Maurizio Pollini might not actually have died, even though it is rumored that he has indeed passed away). It is almost 4 PM, what do I do? I have been awaiting a reply for over an hour. I do not know if it would seem peculiar if I called her.
LOL Pollini is a great pianist but these aren't exactly things I would talk with a girl. In general, I would not stress over this too much. Even if you may not think so, girls can pick up on this kind of apprehension and anxiousness coming from you. And that is a not good thing.
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Well! Turns out she's too busy to have lunch anytime before "next month", as she will be busy practicing and recording three pieces (Beethoven Sonata No. 23 (Appassionata), Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 11 (Winter Wind), and some other piece of her choice) as well as learning and practicing some rather complicated piece for auditions for our school's graduation.
hmph understandable i guess
Also: POLLINI ISN'T DEAD HOORAY
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On April 07 2012 13:17 meguca wrote:
Well! Turns out she's too busy to have lunch anytime before "next month", as she will be busy practicing and recording three pieces (Beethoven Sonata No. 23 (Appassionata), Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 11 (Winter Wind), and some other piece of her choice) as well as learning and practicing some rather complicated piece for auditions for our school's graduation.
hmph understandable i guess
Also: POLLINI ISN'T DEAD HOORAY
I am proud to devote my 2000 post to you, for your honestly and sincerity shown in this thread 
But unfortunately, "too busy" for lunch before "next month", is a clear indication that she just isn't that into you and is far from "understandable".
But I do wish you all the best, I really do but for the time begin, son, your passion is writing cheques your heart can't cash.
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TBH, rather than not being interested in him particularly, I get the vibe that she's not interested in/not prepared for guys in general; she would rather continue doing her thing without being distracted.
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...such is life...
Edit: Actually, I re-read the conversation a few time, and it seems like I missed a particular nuance. Here is the particular wording:
<me>: well if you have some free time lets go out for lunch sometime :D
<other person>: lawl.... prob not gonna happen until at least next month...
Perhaps this is hopeless, stupid optimism, but the meaning of her statement does change radically depending on whether she meant that having free time isn't going to happen until at least next month or that going out for lunch won't happen until at least next month. Perhaps, though, I am merely deluded.
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On April 07 2012 14:01 phosphorylation wrote:
TBH, rather than not being interested in him particularly, I get the vibe that she's not interested in/not prepared for guys in general; she would rather continue doing her thing without being distracted.
Essentially this.
I was in much the same place just recently, and I 'called her out' on being busy on a whim. If she seems to love being there with you, DO NOT CALL HER OUT! She will tell you the truth, so this is probably the worst thing you could possibly do, ever.
Relatedly, If anyone else has made this mistake, and then proceeded to bother her very unreasonably with shit, thinking you had to apologise, and then still managed to make things right in the end, some advice would be awesome~!
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On April 07 2012 14:40 meguca wrote:
...such is life...
Edit: Actually, I re-read the conversation a few time, and it seems like I missed a particular nuance. Here is the particular wording:
<me>: well if you have some free time lets go out for lunch sometime :D
<other person>: lawl.... prob not gonna happen until at least next month...
Perhaps this is hopeless, stupid optimism, but the meaning of her statement does change radically depending on whether she meant that having free time isn't going to happen until at least next month or that going out for lunch won't happen until at least next month. Perhaps, though, I am merely deluded.
And why would you need to wait till you have lunch before you ask her out?
We both know that you don't, but it serves as a simple excuse not to do it.
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On April 07 2012 16:10 zalz wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2012 14:40 meguca wrote:
...such is life...
Edit: Actually, I re-read the conversation a few time, and it seems like I missed a particular nuance. Here is the particular wording:
<me>: well if you have some free time lets go out for lunch sometime :D
<other person>: lawl.... prob not gonna happen until at least next month...
Perhaps this is hopeless, stupid optimism, but the meaning of her statement does change radically depending on whether she meant that having free time isn't going to happen until at least next month or that going out for lunch won't happen until at least next month. Perhaps, though, I am merely deluded. And why would you need to wait till you have lunch before you ask her out? We both know that you don't, but it serves as a simple excuse not to do it.
He just asked her out to lunch man, baby steps.
GSL off the record with oGsMC SKMC, he was talking about how he has a girlfriend who is extremely supportive, and they only meet every 3 weeks or so. When your lady says she's busy, think of her as MC training. You have nothing to doubt
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So basically, after jacking off for the first 17 years of your life you have grown somewhat tired of it. Combined with the innate "save face" mentality of most Chinese people, you decide that prom time is the time to change the aforementioned fact make a girl blog on TL.
Good luck, unless you look like Huang Xiaoming, judging by your total lack of dating experiences, your stereotypical description of yourself (awkward Asian nerd), your your vomit-inducing style of writing (IMHO ofc), you will need plenty of it. If the girl in question isn't completely hideous, that is.
I suggest you expand your very limited range, and settle for any girl you can get. I mean, as long as you dress reasonably well and aren't totally painful to look at, there's bound to be at least a few girls that will date/fuck/etc. with you. Limiting yourself to one target and thus setting yourself up for (very likely) disappointment is quite pointless and only something virgin (in all senses of the word) teenagers do.
Get as much experience now, and succeed later. Don't be that guy.
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Terrible post. You need to accept that not everyone is the same and, more important, not everyone strives to be a certain way. Nor should they feel compelled to.
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On April 07 2012 16:07 Cyber_Cheese wrote:Show nested quote +On April 07 2012 14:01 phosphorylation wrote:
TBH, rather than not being interested in him particularly, I get the vibe that she's not interested in/not prepared for guys in general; she would rather continue doing her thing without being distracted. Essentially this. I was in much the same place just recently, and I 'called her out' on being busy on a whim. If she seems to love being there with you, DO NOT CALL HER OUT! She will tell you the truth, so this is probably the worst thing you could possibly do, ever. Relatedly, If anyone else has made this mistake, and then proceeded to bother her very unreasonably with shit, thinking you had to apologise, and then still managed to make things right in the end, some advice would be awesome~!
Alternatively, allowing her to be that busy from the get-go sets up a bad predicent, you should stop talking to her and see if she contacts you first. If shes not properly interested, this wil only hurt you in the long run.
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This is looking very bad, not only because you're an "asian nerd" with a high degree of social awkwardness (even here, on a forum!), but because she seems to be one too.
Even if you were her dream partner, she would probably be too shy and/or embarassed to accept any sort of relationship.
Such is the life of those who live exclusively in their own mind.
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3251 Posts
On April 07 2012 17:00 EngrishTeacher wrote:
So basically, after jacking off for the first 17 years of your life you have grown somewhat tired of it. Combined with the innate "save face" mentality of most Chinese people, you decide that prom time is the time to change the aforementioned fact make a girl blog on TL.
Good luck, unless you look like Huang Xiaoming, judging by your total lack of dating experiences, your stereotypical description of yourself (awkward Asian nerd), your your vomit-inducing style of writing (IMHO ofc), you will need plenty of it. If the girl in question isn't completely hideous, that is.
I suggest you expand your very limited range, and settle for any girl you can get. I mean, as long as you dress reasonably well and aren't totally painful to look at, there's bound to be at least a few girls that will date/fuck/etc. with you. Limiting yourself to one target and thus setting yourself up for (very likely) disappointment is quite pointless and only something virgin (in all senses of the word) teenagers do.
Get as much experience now, and succeed later. Don't be that guy.
please dont listen to this guy megacuna, hes being an idiot! i wont pretend to know you but i dont think the "anything goes" approach would make you happy.. as for meeting up with her, i know a girl thats just like that. it was so difficult to set a date with her because she was always busy... but then i changed my approach and it worked like a charm.
Listen up, you need to be slightly more assertive when setting a date with her. she obviously has a lot of shit going on so you need to do better then basically saying "lets do something sometime". instead, make a plan and ask her to tag along. for example: theres a good movie about a pianist in the cinema and you just tell her your gonna check it out tonight or tomorrow and askher if she would be interested to tag along. remember, that time shes spending sitting around chatting on fb could be time spent doing something fun (with you) irl.
your fighting the good fight bro and dont let anyone tell you different.
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Movies are terrible.
You are literally sitting next to one another saying nearly anything for anywhere in between 1-2 hours.
Stop trying to come up with ways to go out with a girl and not talk to her. Sooner or later you are going to have to actually talk to one.
Well you don't have to, you can also be forever alone, but if that doesn't sound appealing, get over it.
In this case, I really think Engrish has the better advice. The obsession over "teh one" is a waste of time.
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Italy12246 Posts
On April 06 2012 05:05 DoctorHelvetica wrote:
Most guys who get friendzoned only get friendzoned because they never straight up tell girls they wanna go out or that they're interested in them and expect girls to pick up on all these weird signals and implications and get mad that a relationship doesn't just happen like it does in anime. dont be that guy
Fell for that same mistake like the dumbass i was in high school. That's such an important lesson to learn about women!
btw holy shit op, you REALLY don't seem 17 from the way you write. I've seen plenty of adults being much, much worse at using language. Might be a touch too much for a tl blog, but im sure you get good grades on your papers
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On April 07 2012 13:17 meguca wrote:
Well! Turns out she's too busy to have lunch anytime before "next month", as she will be busy practicing and recording three pieces (Beethoven Sonata No. 23 (Appassionata), Chopin Etude Op. 25 No. 11 (Winter Wind), and some other piece of her choice) as well as learning and practicing some rather complicated piece for auditions for our school's graduation.
hmph understandable i guess
Also: POLLINI ISN'T DEAD HOORAY
Ohhh some delicious musical details! Coincidentally, I played the Appassionata (full) as a part of my ARCT repertoire (you can google what that is if you don't know) and I also played the Winter Wind for my school's piano competition in grade 12. Both are fantastic pieces, and I'm glad to know some other pianist has similar tastes!
Okay, back on topic. I don't know what kind of perfection she's striving for, but not having lunch "until next month" because of those is most likely an excuse. I don't know man, I honestly think you should have asked when she brought up the topic of prom.
More and more (as this thread evolves) it seems like she doesn't have a particular interest in you, or at least not on par with your level of interest in her. I don't suggest taking rash actions right away, but perhaps it's time to look for alternatives? It sucks having to give up on your primary goal without a solid attempt, hence that is why so many people here are recommending just giving it a shot - straight up ask her to the prom, with no corny setups or months of getting comfortable and shit.
Talking to her about her musical pursuits may be a double-edged sword. As a young musician myself, back when I was preparing for my ARCT, I didn't want anybody talking to me about it. It stressed me when clueless friends asked like "hows that preparation going" or "want me to listen to it a bit"? I know they meant well but I wanted to prepare it on my own pace with my own style. On the other side, she may be the type where she'll appreciate someone caring about the activities she care the most about. So I guess you could give a shot at that, but you should quickly back down if she shows signs of being annoyed or embarrassed about it.
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EPT
