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I suppose there comes a time in every person's life when they must step forth into the ethereal world of romance, of love, of the unearthly things which drive our souls in such confounding ways—and, perhaps, my time has come. For heretofore I have lived a life primarily of quietness, of calm isolation from the outside world which has granted me the privilege of a calm serenity that few my age (17) can appreciate. Yet I cannot resist the call of the world and its people, and indeed I find myself trapped—trapped in a cage entirely of my own making, the words which I so desperately desire to shout quelled by my too-complacent soul.
The situation is as follows: I, meguca, am in my twelfth year of American high school. Up until now, I have essentially ignored all social functions whatsoever, preferring the quiet life of an introvert. While those around me have been attending school dances and parties and whatnot, I have stayed at home, practicing piano and reading books or drinking tea with some close, like-minded friends. Now, however, perhaps for the first time in my life, I find that I wish to break free from these habits. It is almost time for the dance known as "prom"—the final one of my high school years, I believe, and an opportunity which I do not wish to go to waste.
There is a particular person—of the opposite gender—towards whom I find that I have taken an interest. We have known each other for approximately two or three years now, but it has only been in the past year and a half that we have truly spoken to each other with any degree of frequency. It seems, then, as though the rational step would be to inquire if she would wish to accompany me to the aforementioned event, and that is indeed precisely my intention.
However, it is quite difficult. These are our characteristics:
Me: male, introverted, Asian (Chinese), proficient in mathematics and science (but not competitive at a national or international level), amateur at piano
Her: female, introverted, Asian (S. Korean), proficient in piano performance (at the level of participation in international competitions)
Classes shared: none
We communicate primarily through Facebook Chat, often speaking with each other through the late hours of the night (3-5 AM). However, we are both somewhat deficient in the art of social communication, it seems; although we are often eager to speak over online chat, sharing personal troubles and emotions, we scarcely speak in real life. That, too, is not so much on account of the lack of time which we share together but more due to our extreme introversion; more times than I can remember, we have been within proximity to each other for a nontrivial amount of time but neither of us have managed to even say 'hello' to the other. I have noticed that it is not so much of a problem when others are around, as we have held conversations in real life before, but in situations where we are surrounded by medium to large amounts of people, we tend to act as though the other person is not there at all.
How, then, am I to make this request of her, when I can scarcely bring myself to speak to her in real life? (Do not take this for a lack of communication; my chat logs with her amount to several megabytes, which is by no means a massive amount but most certainly nothing to scoff at. Considering the length, number, and content of our conversations, I would consider us to be, at the least, very good friends.) Moreover, I am not nearly as good at piano as she is, and so I cannot even capitalize upon our shared interest of piano performance—suffice it to say that, in comparison to her skill level, any attempt I make to play the piano near her would be quite embarrassing (not that she would deliver scathing criticism or anything but more so because I would know that I am playing at a level quite far under hers).
I truly know not what course of action to take... I am currently in the process of ascertaining her precise weekly schedule so as to create more "chance" encounters at opportune times and locations.
Moreover, although I would greatly enjoy participation in a sustained relationship, I do not know if it would even be worth my time, considering that next year she will be departing for either a top conservatory or an Ivy League university.
Forgive my contrived, confusing, and artificial style of writing. It makes it easier for me to relate my thoughts and to ask for help; the experience of sharing these innermost thoughts is absolutely foreign to me, and even writing about them in this manner is, while in a sense somewhat cathartic, also supremely discomfiting and unsettling. It is the only way in which I can even bring myself to ask an online community for assistance regarding these matters.
  
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If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.
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for some reason I read that entire blog in a Patrick Stewart voice...
but as essencez pointed out, you need to do something you have never done before, and that takes balls. You and that girl you are talking about seem to be very shy, so it will have to take one of you to break the ice of real life conversation. So what I would suggest is just stop ignoring her and talk in real life as well. She obviously likes you so just be a man and take the lead.
And remember: missed opportunities are one of the greatest regrets one can have.
EDIT: are you planning on keeping this blog updated or are you just looking for a one time advice?
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I will keep this blog updated.
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Aotearoa39261 Posts
On April 05 2012 19:03 essencez wrote:
If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.
good quote
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OK then were gonna make this happen. How much time left until your prom?
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I believe I have around two months or so.
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Should be more then enough time. Could you tell us a bit more about what shes like? I understand that she in introverted but how is she in school? Does she hang out mostly on her own or does she have her own little clique? Does she like anything other than the things you mentioned? And is she a girly girl (who likes flowers and puppies etc.) or more manly (as in, focused on a certain goal and doesnt like to fuck around etc.)?
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Girl Blog!
I truly know not what course of action to take... I am currently in the process of ascertaining her precise weekly schedule so as to create more "chance" encounters at opportune times and locations.
Don't. This is creepy. But chances are you already share a class with her where you go to lunch at the same time. Accept that she's much better than you but also accept that she might not care. On the way to lunch, pull her over and ask to talk to her. You may become a blustering idiot but you have to ask her out if you do this.
If you don't ask her out you'll end up replying to girl blogs on TL at 7AM in University, regretting that decision ever since. jk jk, the girl I wanted to ask out got mono and stayed home for like two months 
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On April 05 2012 18:54 meguca wrote:
However, it is quite difficult. These are our characteristics:
Me: male, introverted, Asian (Chinese), proficient in mathematics and science (but not competitive at a national or international level), amateur at piano
Her: female, introverted, Asian (S. Korean), proficient in piano performance (at the level of participation in international competitions)
Classes shared: none
Makes it sound like a roleplaying game. You can speak right? just ask her to her face. I know you're shy and introverted, if you really need to do some practice in front of a mirror. Even if you bumble your way through the prom invite, just get the words out, it'll sound cute to her anyway. She's probably hanging out for you to ask.
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Wow, that sounded really pretentious, but I remember the first time I had to use my balls for something, so I can sympathize of sorts.
Just go up to her, at the very least she's a great friend and you can tell her anything. Girls are very nice people, it's not like telling your mates things, she will end up taking it well. if she feels the same, it will go exactly how you want it to, guaranteed. If she doesn't, then you know where you stand.
The moment you lose confidence in yourself, is the moment the world loses it's confidence in you.
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On April 05 2012 19:59 Cyber_Cheese wrote:
Wow, that sounded really pretentious, but I remember the first time I had to use my balls for something, so I can sympathize of sorts.
Just go up to her, at the very least she's a great friend and you can tell her anything. Girls are very nice people, it's not like telling your mates things, she will end up taking it well. if she feels the same, it will go exactly how you want it to, guaranteed. If she doesn't, then you know where you stand.
The moment you lose confidence in yourself, is the moment the world loses it's confidence in you.
loving them quotes bro :p
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You two have much in common and you are on really good terms. Ask her out! I have the feeling that your chances are pretty good.
Moreover, I am not nearly as good at piano as she is, and so I cannot even capitalize upon our shared interest of piano performance—suffice it to say that, in comparison to her skill level, any attempt I make to play the piano near her would be quite embarrassing
You're proficient in mathematics and science, not in playing the piano, so it's not a problem at all that you don't play the piano nearly as good as she does. I take it that you enjoy listening/playing the piano - that's great, that's awesome! You don't have to be ten times better than her. It's enough that you can appreciate her talent and talk about it.
Or would you only date girls that are better in StarCraft than you?
Moreover, although I would greatly enjoy participation in a sustained relationship, I do not know if it would even be worth my time, considering that next year she will be departing for either a top conservatory or an Ivy League university.
Why do you think about a sustained relationship when you didn't even ask her out yet? If you back off now thinking it wouldn't even be worth it you'll regret it, trust me!
Ahhh~ you make me want to punch baby seals. Ask her out!
I'll be rowing with a canoe through the Northwest Passage to cool off. If you haven't asked her out by the time I reach Victoria Island - I swear to God - I'll go and search for some baby seals!
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Estonia4644 Posts
On April 05 2012 19:03 essencez wrote:
If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.
my god this is a good quote indeed :OO
go for it
do what you must
take the reins, show some initiative
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I could tell this was written by an asian dude by the first sentence
just don'tgiveafuck, ask her out
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On April 05 2012 19:03 essencez wrote:
If you want something you’ve never had, you must do something you’ve never done.
Brilliant my friend. Brilliant.
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I felt like reading a modern Shakespeare or something, the language in the OP, woah woah.
Now now, as I usually do, I will write a detailed and analytical response to your well-written thread. I know it, you know it, and we the TL girl blog hunters know that a genuinely written blog deserves replies that are just as good. You feed the internet world with the heart-wrenching drama and we are satisfied for a little bit - and then we move on to yet another girl blog, but that's another story.
So, let's talk about this introverted shy innocent musically talented goddess of yours. Already I've a mistake in that first sentence - she is not a goddess, she is every bit human as you are! I must admit that musical talent is so fucking sexy because I personally dated a introverted pianist before and I probably know what you see in her. Anyway, she's just a person and the key is that she's probably eager to find a prom partner as well. Even at the worst scenario I'd say she's curious about the possibility. You have to see her as a girl (a woman, if you will) and not a mythical object of untouchable holiness.
Megabytes of chat logs mean NOTHING. Fine, if I wanted to make something out of that, it means SUPER-FRIENDZONE. Yes. You've heard of the dreadful friendzone before. Whether you believe in it is another story, but let me put it this way, on the internet you are just another intelligent responding machine. Another way to put it: internet friends. Hey, even the automatic response bots you can find online can do just as good, and sometime they're even wittier than real life people. The point here is, you need real life conversations. Same high school, right? Go have lunch with her. Have a coffee with her after school. Maybe she likes playing cards. I think it would be rather awkward if you bluntly asked her to the prom at this stage when you two aren't even comfortable sitting across each other face-to-face.
You said your piano performance is not at her level, but I think you're proficient enough to play the second part of a typical 4-hand arrangement, no? Look into some of the easier 4-hand arrangements (that means two people play a duet on one piano, hence 4 hands on 1 piano). I don't mean to impose some stereotype on you or the larger group thereof, but being an Asian amateur musician in high school means you know where to find sheet music for free. I don't recommend this kind of stuff for general girl blogs, but for this special circumstance, I think doing a musical activity together may help bring down the awkward barriers between you two. For example... if you know about the movie "Secret" by Jay Chou (yes lol I watched that and I played all the pieces from it), there is a 4-hand duet in the movie that is not that difficult to play.
It's April already, and prom is probably only a month or two away. So you gotta put things into motion right away. Timeline-wise, you should be talking to her this week and getting comfortable next week, and asking her to the prom (or even better, asking her to be your girlfriend) at the end of next week. I don't know about your (or your girl's) religious preferences, but making big emotional steps in the Easter weekend is not my safe bet. So aim for end of next week, but NO LATER than end of next week.
Keep us updated, and good luck!
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Look into some of the easier 4-hand arrangements (that means two people play a duet on one piano, hence 4 hands on 1 piano). I don't mean to impose some stereotype on you or the larger group thereof, but being an Asian amateur musician in high school means you know where to find sheet music for free. I don't recommend this kind of stuff for general girl blogs, but for this special circumstance, I think doing a musical activity together may help bring down the awkward barriers between you two. For example... if you know about the movie "Secret" by Jay Chou (yes lol I watched that and I played all the pieces from it), there is a 4-hand duet in the movie that is not that difficult to play.
This makes me cringe. It seems so cliché and it'll probably end up being super-awkward. If talking to her is already difficult, how should he bring up the courage to ask her for a piano duet with intertwining hands. I know that scene was really cute, but if he can pull off something like that, he wouldn't ask for help.
Megabytes of chat logs mean NOTHING. Fine, if I wanted to make something out of that, it means SUPER-FRIENDZONE. Yes. You've heard of the dreadful friendzone before. Whether you believe in it is another story, but let me put it this way, on the internet you are just another intelligent responding machine. Another way to put it: internet friends. Hey, even the automatic response bots you can find online can do just as good, and sometime they're even wittier than real life people. The point here is, you need real life conversations.
I agree that long chatting-sessions don't necessarily mean that she's got a crush on you. But it doesn't mean that she only sees you as a friend. And I don't think that you're just 'another intelligent responding machine'. The fact that you two chat for so long shows that you have a personality that's interesting to her. And that could be just plain platonic or even more...
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You should really consider writing something. I absolutely like your wording, phrasing, structure.
To the matter at hand I can only advise you to simply ask her out. You can do it either via Facebook Chat where she would be given enough time to react. Or, if you feel like you can do that, you should really just talk to her.
Following my experience the reason why you don't talk much in public, but only on chat is exactly that: You both know you like each other, but have trouble having a face-to-face conversation because of the fear of being somehow rejected. It is time to break the boundary.
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EPT
