EPT3 Bullies vs Mini Atom - Page 3
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Alacast
United States205 Posts
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getdeadplz
United States116 Posts
'ok, ok, but that was fun right' made me laugh. | ||
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DarkPlasmaBall
United States46467 Posts
 Turning the bully/ bullied atmosphere into one of confusing fun ^^ There's always someone bigger than you haha. That was a really great thing you did as a dad "AH JIN JARO" ... got it  | ||
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OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
I think you handled the situation very well. You stood up for your kid without creating an excessively hostile environment. 5/5 | ||
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Latedi
Sweden1027 Posts
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PiGStarcraft
Australia1004 Posts
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RubiksCube
Germany259 Posts
Not saying MightyAtoms reaction is 100% correct, there is no 100% correct reaction to this. What is important though, and I think this is mostly why MA reacted like he did, is that MiniAtom or any kid for that matter experiences both reactions from their parents. Mommy maybe the one that stays out of trouble and helps him learn how to stay out of trouble. Dad maybe the one to teach him to stand his ground and fight his fights. It is important that one parent takes on the responsibility of NOT being the overly careful one. And believe me, having a kid that is harder than it sounds. As a dad you have just the same mental reaction as your wife if you kid climbs a high tree or gets into trouble with other kids: You want him out of there. But still someone has to let him make his experiences or he will never get a sense of accomplishment or self-assurance. I think you did great. I can relate pretty well, my son is 4. Nice story, too. | ||
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chaosTheory_14cc
Canada1270 Posts
"AH JIN JARO" has been added to my vocabulary. | ||
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Ack1027
United States7873 Posts
I can honestly say that it alienated me [ only child ] from people I might have been friends with, or wanted to be friends with because if they hated my mom they just felt sorry for me or didn't talk to me out of spite. When she was younger, if she saw kids misbehaving like in your story she would pull them by the collar to their parents and make them apologize in front of their own parents. So you can imagine that if I was your son....I would have to be by her side while those kids had to apologize to me for something I prolly didn't care about or was too young to understand. On the other hand there are lots of people [ girls mostly ] who really like her so that was a plus for me too growing up. Enjoyed your story since it reminded me of my childhood a bit. As someone who was in a similar situation as your son a lot I just wanted to say I didn't know what I wanted my parent to do anyway until I got much older. Eventually I didn't want her to do anything at all because her actions felt embarassing, but I agree with your thoughts that children should recognize that there are not separate worlds and they occupy the same space as others! | ||
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niteReloaded
Croatia5282 Posts
This is a perfect example of why Moms can't do Dads' business. (The opposite is also true, but isn't applicable here) Your kids are gonna be strong psychologically and that's freakin great! ^^ | ||
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forSeohyun
504 Posts
Ack1027: it is probably that being a responsible and caring adult is sadly not the normal thing anymore. If every parent took that responsibility then it wouldn't feel so embarrassing. In short: MightyAtom is a boss. A good person/adult/parent is a caring one. | ||
tofucake
Hyrule19257 Posts
Was thoroughly entertained | ||
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ecstatica
United States542 Posts
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Ozarugold
2716 Posts
Oh and also, I think you meant 'Poki ha ji ma' instead of 'Poki ha gi ma' | ||
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Arterial
Australia1039 Posts
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Linwelin
Ireland7554 Posts
Ah jin jaro... I will remember that thanks | ||
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SeaSwift
Scotland4486 Posts
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iSometric
2221 Posts
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MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On March 06 2012 06:49 Ozarugold wrote: This was not boring at all! And when I taught at an academy in Korea, I dealt with these kinds of kids a lot. I'm surprised at how your situation turned out though. I gotta try that next time. Awesome story~! Oh and also, I think you meant 'Poki ha ji ma' instead of 'Poki ha gi ma' Thanks guys for the comments ^^ and yes, lol, its 'Poki ha ji ma' fml spelling errors in English, Hangul and phonetic korean lol. You know the reason I say that 'Poki ha ji ma' (don't give up) to those kids is because I sincerely wanted them to know as well, even though I am much bigger and they are slowly losing, that they shouldn't ever stop to try, it doesn't matter to win or lose, but the point is not to stop trying. At the end of it all, the boys were sincerely happy because I did give them some attention, even though maybe a couple of them were still trying not show it. ^^ I don't know if this would work outside the Korean context, but more than anything, I didn't judge them as actual bullies yet, and I think for some other posters, they may feel as though the 3 boys were just being a bit rough, but when in fact, in Korea, in that situation, the expectation for them is actually to be kind to the toddlers and to some extent play with them. You'll see this in public playgrounds where the older children will call out 'e gi!' (baby/toddler), it is the majority of children who will not be annoyed that they are sharing the playground construction climber with the toddlers, rather they will becareful around them and make sure that these children are also safe as well. So when children don't exhibit polite/helpful behavior in Korea, they automatically get slotted into the 'must have bad parents' background. So it isn't like these kids simply wanted their own space to play, they basically occupied the entire play area and shoved the toddlers out, to which most of the moms in there went up and took their toddlers away. So the 3 kids, maybe think, 'ok, we have the right to be here, even their parents think so', but in reality, those parents are thinking, 'I don't want my kid to be near these bad manner kids and learn their habits, theses kid's parents must be bad manner too'. Of course, I think the same way and while having good manners is the norm for all countries/culture, the degree in Korea and the lack of having exceptional manners is probably more extreme than in other countries. When I was a kid and I met my friend's parents, I'd bow right away. Then my parents would come very shortly after, then the first thing they would say is, 'did you bow to your friend's parents'; at which case, the other parents would say, 'oh yes he did' and I'd say, 'yes I did', but I would still bow again as I was saying this. Now of course my parents know I bowed before, and there is no reason for me to be bowing twice, but what it shows is that in our family, manners matter a lot, it is the extreme importance. The same thing happens in my home and all Korean homes, the first action children learn is to bow and receive things with two hands. Even think about Starcraft, gg, bad manner, manner please, no manner, etc. These are all from Korean starcraft players. So when these boys are not being polite, when they give me the evil eye or mumble or are shoving the kids a bit, these things that maybe would be considered harmless behavior in some other countries and just chalked up as being young kids, is extremely concerning in the Korean context. Kids swear, they are rude between each other, and I do cringe when I hear groups of young boys swear like it is nobodies business in Korea, but when the toddlers are close by, no matter how bad their language is, they will be aware to watch out for the toddler's safety as they play in the same area. For those having not taught, lived or are Korean, its very difficult to explain that these little things point to much bigger things and that it isn't over reacting, in fact, I'm being the least judgmental out of all the parents in the room. In terms of my son fighting his own fights, if he came to me to resolve an issue that he could resolve himself, then I'd tell him that since there is a 'no pussy' rule in our house, to go back and resolve it yourself. But I want him know, when he feels that he has exhausted the options, or if things are stacked against him to such odds then to come to me, do not feel hopeless. If it was my son and 3 other toddlers, and this has happened, then usually all the parents get involved and just watch to make sure it doesn't get out of hand and if it does (like scratching or crying), then we just pull the distressed toddler out for a time out. I remember when I was in grad school in my masters program and I just stopped playing rugby as a pro in Korea (pro national level is basically sponsored varsity in America) I was with two friends from school and we were walking through an affluent part of Seoul, Apgujeong and by the high school. There were about 10 highschool seniors occupying one side of the street and a couple of them were smoking. So my two friends said, 'we need to cross the road, those high school kids can be dangerous' And I was like, 'wtf are you talking about, they are high school kids and you two fuckers already finished your army service' And they were like, 'no trust us, its not a good idea'. So my two friends, actually crossed the road, but fuck that, so I just continue to walk through and none of them actually looked at me when I walked through and then after a block they crossed the road to join me. So at this point, they came up to me and said, 'wow, you're brave' and meanwhile I'm thinking, 'gee you guys are the biggest pussies, I don't think we can be friend anymore' but what I failed to realize was that both these guys still remembered how things were like in high school with the bad bully kids and I think they just knew what these types of kids were capable of, i.e. 5 on 1, extortion etc, and having only had experience as an athlete and university grad student in Korea, I couldn't relate. I'd say there are a lot of high school movies with bullies in them in Korea, but again, the age rank system in Korea gets warped in it as well, if any of you have time I recommend this movie: http://www.listal.com/movie/maljukgeori-janhoksa Maybe it isn't the best example, but I think it is an example enough to get what I'm saying above. Cheers! | ||
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Ero-Sennin
United States756 Posts
You also seem like a very interesting person ^^ | ||
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