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So I'm not sure what to do right now: there's this girl I like. She likes me too.
The problem? She's in the capital (two hours drive away, she's on Romance studies in a university) on weekdays and we can probably only spend quality time together on the weekends (as I work on weekdays obviously). This whole distance thing can change though if things get serious. Maybe I'm just being a coward which is weird as usually I don't have problems with making up my mind...maybe that means something? Anyway, I need a last push from TL to do the right thing.
So...
Poll: Should I ask her out?Yes. (107) 72% Shut up, go back to Fish and practice. (34) 23% No. (7) 5% 148 total votes Your vote: Should I ask her out? (Vote): Yes. (Vote): No. (Vote): Shut up, go back to Fish and practice.
+ Show Spoiler +bad blog, but ppl have made worse ones in the past...that sounds like a good excuse, I'll go with that
UPDATE: + Show Spoiler +She said "yes!", this is how I feel right now: Again, thanks everyone
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two hour drive isnt that far man up
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i was hoping for a very short girl. those are hot
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Yes, 2 hours isn't bad at all. Speaking from experience, only getting to see each other on the weekends is not too insurmountable. Just make sure you can two can talk to eachother in someway basically every day even if you can't see each other in person.
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Short blog, short answer. Yes.
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On February 03 2012 04:21 Gescom wrote: Romance studies...?
Yeah, I was wondering the same. xD
I suppose that can only be a good thing for the relationship though.
Edit: ninjad ;o
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long distance relationships don't work.
don't try
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On February 03 2012 04:27 Roe wrote: i was hoping for a very short girl. those are hot lolololol this made me die ha
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My significant other lives 8 hours away. We see each other only ~2 times a semster, and on breaks. If we lived 2 hours I would be ECSTATIC. If she is great for you, then you should be glad with what you have and go for it.
That being said, since you aren't yet going out, make sure it's worth it before you do. Long distance SUCKS BALLS, but it is fully doable, if both people are committed.
Also, when I read title I thoguht it was going to be about a very SHORT girl haha.
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On February 03 2012 04:31 BoxedLunch wrote: long distance relationships don't work.
don't try
speak for yourself
On February 03 2012 04:38 EchelonTee wrote: My significant other lives 8 hours away. We see each other only ~2 times a semster, and on breaks. If we lived 2 hours I would be ECSTATIC. If she is great for you, then you should be glad with what you have and go for it.
That being said, since you aren't yet going out, make sure it's worth it before you do. Long distance SUCKS BALLS, but it is fully doable, if both people are committed.
Also, when I read title I thoguht it was going to be about a very SHORT girl haha.
agreed.
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United States22154 Posts
Life is about risks and reward.
Take the risk, worst case, it doesn't work out, and at the very least you will have grown from the experience.
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Calgary25939 Posts
Here's a tip: Next time instead of opening a thread to motivate you, imagine what advice you would give to someone in your situation. Then act on it.
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I see you didn't name any other female that you like.
This whole distance thing can change though if things get serious. Only girl you like + possibility of convenience in the relationship.
This is a tough one.
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lolol fish is awesome. fish man fish.
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Here is one thing u need to think about.. are you a jealous kind of guy because 2 hours away is not to bad but its still far if your a jealous dude then your gonna drive yourself crazy. If not then just go for it.
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On February 03 2012 04:50 SeizeTheDay wrote: Here is one thing u need to think about.. are you a jealous kind of guy because 2 hours away is not to bad but its still far if your a jealous dude then your gonna drive yourself crazy. If not then just go for it.
agree with this guy. best thing you can do is just act on your instinct and go for it. once you overcome the fear of doing it and get over all the circumstances in your head that you think matter (the truth is, it's about who you are not what you own or what you do) you will feel much better and understand that it's not as hard as you thought it was, and even if this doesnt work out you now have the added confidence of being able to ask any girl out.. just be yourself
edit: i also have friends who have been in long distance relationships -- seing each other on the weekends (even farther drives than what you are talking about).. two hours isnt terrible if you really like someone and arent hurt on money..
it can work out, just don't get jealous and have trust. that's one of the biggest things my friends have told me you need to have
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Imagine a fortuneteller told you that a year from now the girl is going out with a guy from her school and your circumstances are also different. The fortuneteller tells you that a year from now you will be wondering what could have happened but never will because change is constant... Your job now is to prove the fortuneteller wrong.
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I used to live 3 hours by train from my girlfriend, as long as you trust eachother (if you even get in a relationship, you're not quite that far yet ) you're good, go for it!
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If both of you are trusting and confident people, and mature enough, you can pull it off and be really really happy!
If any of you are the jealous, insecure type of person, or too needy, it won't work out well.
Best of luck!
EDIT: Also, 2 hours really isn't too much, you can even surprise her now and then with a flash visit, which is ALWAYS a winner!
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United Kingdom3685 Posts
Wow, Romance studies is legit. Awesome!
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I forgot to add that on weekends (and on days she doesn't have classes for example) she would be about 20 minutes away from me no matter what. That certainly makes things seem a bit better doesn't it?
I'll man up, ask her out and update the OP with the reply.
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Great!
You want to take away any doubt in her mind, she should be totally for you, so then it's less of a "Date me Yes No?" but just "Date me Yes Yes." That means I recommend organizing an awesome evening for the two of you beforehand, and just tell her to meet you at XY time/place (make sure she's available). It's clearly a date but you don't necessarily have to call it that. Then have an awesome night, and if all goes well, by the end of it you guys will be ~together~ already (:
What I'm getting at is B is much better than A:
A: U: "Hey babe wanna date me Y\N?" her: " *thinks 'hmm, choose Y\N, I dunno* uuh" - room for error
B: "Hey darling I've got something planned for XYZ this weekend (tell time but make it a surprise) and was wondering if you're available\ hey babe, come with me to XYZ this weekend K?" her (unsuspecting innocent SHORT self): " *Checks schedule, it's free* ok sounds good" - no room for error (:
I'll trust you to go do something that is suitable {: GL HF .. gogogo!
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On February 03 2012 05:10 RelZo wrote:I forgot to add that on weekends (and on days she doesn't have classes for example) she would be about 20 minutes away from me no matter what. That certainly makes things seem a bit better doesn't it? I'll man up, ask her out and update the OP with the reply. good choice, GL
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I was expecting a blog about a midget. OP, I am disappoint.
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2 hour drive is actually pretty far and annoying. I'd go for it but I wouldn't take it seriously at all in the beginning
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Updated the OP, thanks everyone; TL delivered as always
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Glad to hear it!
I guess this will go into the TL history archive as the one in a million girl motivation blogs that has actually been good for something? (correct me if I'm wrong :p )
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On February 03 2012 04:27 Roe wrote: i was hoping for a very short girl. those are hot
Same here.
Honestly though, why aren't you on fish right now? If you work on weekdays and can only see her/are free on weekends, your fishtime is going to decrease dramatically!
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This is what happens when you ask TL.
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Act now before you get friendzoned.
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United States7488 Posts
Whether it is the right or wrong thing to do, I'm pretty sure the TL consensus regardless would be to go for it when it comes to asking a girl.
Good to see the quick, positive results.
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weekend girlfriends are awesome. do whatever you want on the weekdays and get some nookies on the weekend. =D two hours isnt bad if you are spending the night.
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My boyfriend takes the subway and the bus to my place for two hours once a week just so we can just be together without finding the need to do anything extravagant. Oh, and it's the 21st century if you forgot about the internet. The term 'long-distance' relationship does not apply to your two-hour drive. I'm sure everything will work out and doing whatever you can for a girl you find worth it is cute and romantic.
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You made the wrong decision She just broke up with me blog, coming in 3 weeks.
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I bet this post will get buried underneath all the advice given so far, but it is unique enough to bear typing out.
So, I face a similar problem. I met a girl a few years back in Austin, TX. We hit it off pretty well, though in an entirely unconventional manner. It was never serious, and at the end of the summer, each of our internships ended and we went back to school. Fast forward to this summer, when I run into her in Los Angeles. At the time I was living in town with my brother, but ended up moving in with an actor near downtown. Turns out that she is directing the play that my roommate is in. Small world...
A month later, I move out a few hours away for work, and though we never did anything when I was in LA, I now wish we had. Every time I go to LA (usually once a month), we go on a date somewhere. I could never commit to it full time as the distance would be killer, but I also don't want to lose the option. I call it 'putting it on the back burner' It seems our modus operandi is to just run in to eachother quite a bit, so I do anticipate that in the future, it will work out.
So I guess my over arching advice is to just not be in a hurry. If you really like her, tell her you are willing to wait for an opportunity where you arent setting yourselves up for failure.
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Distance will be a bitch because girls always crave for attention which you cant really fulfill completely when far away. Good luck.
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Has it ever occurred to you that she might just be using you for "romance studies?"
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United States9658 Posts
gl hf with ur relationship.
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Expect to spend a lot of money on phone calls and text messages.
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On February 03 2012 08:39 Hoon wrote: Expect to spend a lot of money on phone calls and text messages.
2hours isn't much unless they're living in the stone age and using a LAN line to call.
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On February 03 2012 09:24 tonight wrote:Show nested quote +On February 03 2012 08:39 Hoon wrote: Expect to spend a lot of money on phone calls and text messages. 2hours isn't much unless they're living in the stone age and using a LAN line to call. The distance between them shouldn't change the price of a text message during her college class imo.
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Damn, I thought it was going to be something about a short girl...
2 hour drive is nothing, especially if you can spend the weekend there or she comes to your place so you actually get to spend time together. Just load some music onto an ipod and rock out until you get there.
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Yes,
My girlfriend was 3 hour drive away from me for 2 yers, then we moved in with eachother and half a year later she was 3000 miles away from me for half a year
It's also better to spend quality time with eachother instead of quantity time with eachother in the early stages off an relationship
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thought this blog was gonna be about asking us the pros and cons of dating a midget
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I came to this blog expecting a girl with dwarfism.
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Oops. I thought you were referring to like a 4' girl or something.
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Thought this was going to be a blog written by a very short girl...
I need sleep
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easiest poll ever. congrats
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i hate girl blogs. //i have matured.
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Girl Blog!? ON IT!
I know people have been telling you to go for it, but have you seriously considered the implications of a relationship with enough distance that you can't see each other at your leisure?
I did it. It was awesome at first. Why? Because of me; distance had nothing to do with it. Why'd it end? Many reasons; distance had a lot to do with it. Distance puts an excuse not to see each other between you two. It causes strife that other relationships simply would not have because there is this barrier preventing you from seeing each other at your convenience. It makes spending time with one another for a weekend a chore of accommodation instead of just hanging out.
Distance, any distance, is not something you want in a relationship. It's manageable it it's short, but if it's a "trip" to see someone, you're asking for trouble down the road.
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I read the update.
CONGRATS!
You should still read through the replies in this thread because there are good advices in regards to long distance relationship (LDR) here. Take them as advices, but don't let them bother you as potential failures - what matters most is just between you two.
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On February 03 2012 22:57 OpticalShot wrote: I read the update.
CONGRATS!
You should still read through the replies in this thread because there are good advices in regards to long distance relationship (LDR) here. Take them as advices, but don't let them bother you as potential failures - what matters most is just between you two. yeah, I've read the replies; I will never see how things would turn out in the future if I never try. I'm hoping for an amazing first date, we'll see.
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I'm really hesitant posting here as opshot has already checked this thread... but this may inspire me to ask a certain girl I like !
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