Would you tell a white lie if it meant you'd get $600.00?
I sold cars for close to 4 years in my early 20's. We used to tell ourselves that it was our job to sell the car for as much as possible, and it was the customer's job to buy the car for as little as possible. "It's not my fault if I'm better at my job than they are at theirs." This was our go to reasoning behind what we did.
When you sell cars, you go through training where you are taught the "Road to a Sale." The Road to a Sale is a series of steps to guide you, the salesman, through the process. One of the most important things you learn is that people buy from someone they:
1. Know 2. Like 3. Trust
The Road to a Sale taught you how to get complete strangers to know, like, and trust you. I was pretty good at getting people to like and trust me.
What they didn't prepare me for was the look in a widow woman's eyes who had just lost her husband of 50 years to cancer. This particular woman was in extreme financial distress with the cost of her now deceased husband's medical bills and funeral expenses. She was having to trade in her Buick for a smaller, more economical car to be able to make the payments on her debt. She had never made a major purchase on her own before.
Before committing to the deal I was offering her, she looked across the desk and asked me, "Am I getting a good deal?" When they ask you if it's a good deal you know they trust you. I had her. What she didn't know was that I was selling the new car for $2,000 over sticker. Her trade was estimated to be worth $11,000. but we were only going to give her $9,000. for it. That meant we were making $4,000. above MSRP.
As she asked me that question, "Am I getting a good deal" I had a choice to make. Help a widow woman out in her time of need or lie to her and bring home an extra $600. I chose the latter. I remember telling myself that I had no reason to feel bad about it. I had a family and a newborn baby to think of. "I'm only doing my job." "If I hadn't done it, someone else would have." The next morning all the bosses took me out to breakfast and patted me on the back. They said I was a shark and on the fast track.
She called the dealership later the next day, crying. Her son had explained to her how we took advantage of her. She wanted out of the deal. Because the banks normally only loan 115% of the value of car we hadn't actually gotten the deal financed yet. She could have gotten out of the deal if she had known this. I listened to that widow woman crying on the phone and pleading with me to just let her out of the deal. I lied again and said there was nothing I could do about it. I read her obituary 3 weeks later.
The effect that deal had on me is hard to describe. I couldn't live with myself, and even cried in my wife's arms more than one night over it. It sent me into depression. I couldn't bring myself to keep doing what I had been doing and eventually I wasn't able to make enough money selling cars to feed my family and pay the bills. I was on the verge of homelessness.
You see, I had abandoned my moral principles. I had become something I hated. I should have helped that woman, but instead I took advantage of her in her most vulnerable state so I could take home a few extra bucks.
It's really easy for some people to say they'd do this or that for "X" number of dollars. What they don't know is the black hole it leaves inside you when you sell your morality and principles. Until you've felt that, lived with it, looked at yourself in the mirror and been ashamed because of it you can't understand it.
Want to know what selling cars is really like? Watch this video. It was required learning when I entered the biz.(can fast-forward to 2:00 if you want)
hopefully the trolls aren't out for this thread and try to make you feel like shit again over this past experience. Thanks for sharing, was a good read.
Hopefully you learned not to dwell on it anymore tho, i mean really its not your fault what happened to her in the end. I am sure much more things were involved than just a car deal. Who knows what the tipping point for her was, could have very well been something completely different. Meh.
If this is completely a true story, then ... I'm sorry you had to go through that. But ... at the very least, the fact that it effected you so deeply means that you do have a strong sense of morals -- you simply did not follow-through with it at this crucial juncture. For what little comfort it is, you'll come out a stronger person out of it. Or at least, a little bit wiser.
Intense story, but can you clarify what happened when you said "It sent me into depression. I couldn't bring myself to keep doing what I had been doing and eventually I wasn't able to make enough money selling cars to feed my family and pay the bills. I was on the verge of homelessness."?
Was it your depression that made you lose your ability to charm costumers? Did you refuse to even tell white lies anymore (as in lies to people who are not in obvious financial distress) so you sold no cars?
why do you think that you caused her death? sure you ripped her the fuck off but that is not the real reason she died. if bad deals caused deaths then nearly all of america would be gone. look, you feel bad and guilty because you think you had a part in her death by lying to her, but don't get yourself all worked up because you do not have the power to kill someone with a scam deal. even if you gave her the good deal, she would have died.
On January 31 2012 14:28 FinestHour wrote: what happened to you after? are you still on the brink of homelessness?
The details of the last 3 years following that experience are incredibly embarrassing. Leading up to that day, I was proving all the statistics wrong. I was a mid 20's male with no college degree and pushing close to $100k a year. I was even one of the youngest members of the local country club drinking beers with the local doctors and attorneys. We spent most of our money as fast as we were making it.
It took us about 6 months to go completely broke after that event. If it hadn't been for family, we would have certainly been homeless. After we lost our house we moved back to our home town and closer to family. I worked 2 and 3 jobs at a time to put my wife through college. She graduated just this past May and is now a teacher at an inner city school.
I am in my 2nd semester of College now, and my wife is carrying the bulk of the financial load while I go to school full time. We are poor people, but we are getting by. Strangely enough, our relationship is 1000x better today than it was when we were living the "high life." We are poor, but we are happy ^^
Look, I don't really have an idea of how religious you are, but one thing that being a Catholic has taught me that should be applied to everyone's way of life is the idea of forgiveness. In the Catholic faith you are essentially forgiven (in this case sin, but this concept can really be applied to any personal breach of morality if you don't happen to be religious) if you truly regret whatever you did and strive to make yourself a better person afterwards. Long story short, if you truly regret it and wish you could have made amends, don't beat yourself up for it. Live on with your life, and clutch your moral code that much closer to your heart, you came out a better person in the end and that's what really matters.
Good luck man, with both your future endeavors and with your family!
On January 31 2012 14:32 actionbastrd wrote: Was it confirmed suicide? Or something else?
It wasn't suicide. She was an old lady. I don't remember her age, but I remember they had celebrated their 50th wedding anniversiary a couple of weeks prior to her husband passing. I don't know what the cause of death was, but in my mind I believe it was the overwhelming stress of her situation and her heart ache in losing her husband.
On January 31 2012 14:38 Joedaddy wrote: We are poor, but we are happy ^^
Let it go, we all make mistakes. Whether you did the right thing back then doesn't matter anymore, especially if it has served as a cause for you to reassess your life. Glad you two are happy, wish you a bright future.
On January 31 2012 14:34 HardMacro wrote: Intense story, but can you clarify what happened when you said "It sent me into depression.
Was it your depression that made you lose your ability to charm costumers? Did you refuse to even tell white lies anymore (as in lies to people who are not in obvious financial distress) so you sold no cars?
I got to where I hated myself. I didn't want to be around people anymore. I didn't want to go to work anymore, but I had set a lifestyle around the income I had been making and couldn't afford not to go to work. My depression made me lose my ability to charm customers, yes. If you can't get people to like and trust you, then you won't sell many cars. I tried to keep telling the white lies because without them its border line impossible to sell cars with enough profit to make enough commission to pay your bills. My heart just wasn't in it though. I lost that edge and ability to make people believe what I was saying. I lost the desire to even want to have the ability to make people believe what I was saying.
I'm not sure that answers your question, but I hope it helps.
Why would you hate yourself for someone else's stupidity? You didn't do anything wrong at all. Yah, you could've helped her out, but that's not your job and if she wanted charity the last place she should be going is a car dealership. If you start on the track of feeling bad for other people being dumb you'll of course be absolutely miserable. Why? Cause the world is full of morons and fuckups. That's just the way it is. It doesn't matter what the person looks like: old, young, male, female, short, tall, brown, purple, polka dots who cares? It's about whether they are wise enough to look out for themselves or not.
You didn't abandon moral principles. Moral principles are not using violence or coercion to get what you want. This has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with you trying to live other people's lives for them. Don't do it. Live your own life. There will always be winners and losers and that's just how things go. Being an adult is accepting that.
Very well written, I definitely had a strong sense of empathy as I've had to lie to customers at a past job, although nothing quite like that. 5 Star blog, thanks for sharing your experience and giving me some food for thought.
On January 31 2012 14:18 Joedaddy wrote: Would you tell a white lie if it meant you'd get $600.00?
I sold cars for close to 4 years in my early 20's. We used to tell ourselves that it was our job to sell the car for as much as possible, and it was the customer's job to buy the car for as little as possible. "It's not my fault if I'm better at my job than they are at theirs." This was our go to reasoning behind what we did.
When you sell cars, you go through training where you are taught the "Road to a Sale." The Road to a Sale is a series of steps to guide you, the salesman, through the process. One of the most important things you learn is that people buy from someone they:
1. Know 2. Like 3. Trust
The Road to a Sale taught you how to get complete strangers to know, like, and trust you. I was pretty good at getting people to like and trust me.
What they didn't prepare me for was the look in a widow woman's eyes who had just lost her husband of 50 years to cancer. This particular woman was in extreme financial distress with the cost of her now deceased husband's medical bills and funeral expenses. She was having to trade in her Buick for a smaller, more economical car to be able to make the payments on her debt. She had never made a major purchase on her own before.
Before committing to the deal I was offering her, she looked across the desk and asked me, "Am I getting a good deal?" When they ask you if it's a good deal you know they trust you. I had her. What she didn't know was that I was selling the new car for $2,000 over sticker. Her trade was estimated to be worth $11,000. but we were only going to give her $9,000. for it. That meant we were making $4,000. above MSRP.
As she asked me that question, "Am I getting a good deal" I had a choice to make. Help a widow woman out in her time of need or lie to her and bring home an extra $600. I chose the latter. I remember telling myself that I had no reason to feel bad about it. I had a family and a newborn baby to think of. "I'm only doing my job." "If I hadn't done it, someone else would have." The next morning all the bosses took me out to breakfast and patted me on the back. They said I was a shark and on the fast track.
She called the dealership later the next day, crying. Her son had explained to her how we took advantage of her. She wanted out of the deal. Because the banks normally only loan 115% of the value of car we hadn't actually gotten the deal financed yet. She could have gotten out of the deal if she had known this. I listened to that widow woman crying on the phone and pleading with me to just let her out of the deal. I lied again and said there was nothing I could do about it. I read her obituary 3 weeks later.
The effect that deal had on me is hard to describe. I couldn't live with myself, and even cried in my wife's arms more than one night over it. It sent me into depression. I couldn't bring myself to keep doing what I had been doing and eventually I wasn't able to make enough money selling cars to feed my family and pay the bills. I was on the verge of homelessness.
You see, I had abandoned my moral principles. I had become something I hated. I should have helped that woman, but instead I took advantage of her in her most vulnerable state so I could take home a few extra bucks.
It's really easy for some people to say they'd do this or that for "X" number of dollars. What they don't know is the black hole it leaves inside you when you sell your morality and principles. Until you've felt that, lived with it, looked at yourself in the mirror and been ashamed because of it you can't understand it.
I had posted this just a bit ago in a thread about "Do morals have a price in life." I have never shared this story with anyone but my wife, but felt compelled to share it now and didn't want it to get lost in the thread. If mods feel that it shouldn't be in a blog, please feel free to remove it. Thanks~
Hey man, apparently it affected you to the brink of homelessness. There's some good in that - you can still feel for another human being, despite what you did. Whether it was right or wrong, it was your job. You had mouths to feed. I won't presume to know what she felt before she died, or how she should've felt. But if I were in her place I would forgive you.
I hope you can find a little bit of consolation in that. I wish you the best. Really! Thanks for sharing.
On January 31 2012 15:11 domane wrote: I think there is a typo (bank loan 115% of the car's value). Were there any repercussions from the deceased's son?
All in all, I'm glad that things are slowly getting better for you. I prefer this development over you being homeless.
Hmm, do you mean the "115%" ? If so, its ok. Banks loaned, at that time, up to 120% of the value of a new vehicle. The term "upside down" comes from this practice aka "owing more than its worth."
If that isn't the typo you meant pm me and I will fix it.
wow, that was actually an intense read...every time i see things like these i question if i would be capable of doing what you did or rather if i could be capable of intentionally violating my principles and morals to harm (indirectly counts) another human being...hell it's hard for me to even hate people that fuck me over (sort of a bad trait actually)
i really don't know if i could stand doing that to someone, whether they found out or not it would probably torture me like it did you...only real difference would be that you had emotional support and i don't (well at least for now...can always hope there's someone out there for me :3)
EPT
