Regret is only good for telling yourself what you will never do again. Once you know which things you will never do again, regret turns into wisdom, and wisdom builds character.

I'm glad things seem to be working out for you and your family. Your story was so powerful, and quite a lesson.

Kamais Ookin

Canada591 Posts

January 31 2012 06:35 GMT

#22

Damn Joedaddy, I'm glad you pulled through a grim part of your life and are now leading a difficult yet happy life with your family, I wish the best of luck to you my friend.

CakeSauc3

United States1437 Posts

January 31 2012 06:41 GMT

#23

Thanks for posting this Joedaddy... it really made me think. Congrats on making it through the hard times, I wish you and your family well

United States6173 Posts

January 31 2012 06:50 GMT

#24

Thank you for sharing. That was interesting, and I'm glad you're doing much better now.

ticklishmusic

United States15977 Posts

January 31 2012 06:57 GMT

#25

I don't know how much of a factor that you sharking her was in her death, but I do understand that you felt responsible. She was old, just widowed and probably not in such great health-- that's kind of rationalization, but yeah.

You made a mistake. However, you regretted that you did a bad thing, and that means you see what you did wrong. Your morals should be stronger now, and you will not repeat that mistake. I don't subscribe to any particular religion and their code of ethics, but in my own code of ethics, you get a +.

There's no reason to stop your life over one mistake. Keep going and learn from it.

taldarimAltar

973 Posts

January 31 2012 07:01 GMT

#26

Wow that was intense, lesson learnt I guess. Did you sell her the car in the end after she died? From a pratical standpoint, her death served as a release from all the stress and trials in her life after her husband. Depending on what you believe she's probably with her husband

blade55555

United States17423 Posts

January 31 2012 07:14 GMT

#27

Hm that sucks I couldn't have done what you did but I highly doubt you were the cause of her death. Pretty sure she would have died anyway as I am pretty sure the death of her husband is what probably caused her to die 3 weeks later (well from what I have read before on stories of old couples who have loved eachother for their whole lives the other seemed to always die within a few months after their spouse died I don't know if the study I read was true or couincedance but I do believe if you truly loved someone your whole life like 50+ years and they die you will most likely die within a few months).

phiinix

United States1169 Posts

January 31 2012 07:45 GMT

#28

Great read, it reminded me of a ted talk I saw yesterday about doctors and admitting faults. Glad you've made it out okay (:

run.at.me

Australia550 Posts

January 31 2012 07:52 GMT

#29

The guilt is a reflection of your good natured character. Personally, while I don't think what you did is morally 'right', I can say that the majority of people in your position, in the same career path would have done the same thing. Your remorse is what separates you from the average person, not the action itself.
People like to tell themselves they are morally incorruptible, however this is rarely the case...
keep ur chin up your a good man,

ETisME

12613 Posts

January 31 2012 07:53 GMT

#30

On January 31 2012 15:05 EternaLLegacy wrote:
Why would you hate yourself for someone else's stupidity? You didn't do anything wrong at all. Yah, you could've helped her out, but that's not your job and if she wanted charity the last place she should be going is a car dealership. If you start on the track of feeling bad for other people being dumb you'll of course be absolutely miserable. Why? Cause the world is full of morons and fuckups. That's just the way it is. It doesn't matter what the person looks like: old, young, male, female, short, tall, brown, purple, polka dots who cares? It's about whether they are wise enough to look out for themselves or not.

You didn't abandon moral principles. Moral principles are not using violence or coercion to get what you want. This has nothing to do with morality and everything to do with you trying to live other people's lives for them. Don't do it. Live your own life. There will always be winners and losers and that's just how things go. Being an adult is accepting that.

this way of thinking reminds me of a news that happened recently, a couple around 15 age was selling 13 yrs old girls as prostitutes and when they were caught, they said something like "the girls are easy to fool and thought they were well paid"
strangely similar to your way to be an adult?

Rayzorblade

United States1172 Posts

January 31 2012 08:05 GMT

#31

One of the best blogs I've read in a while. To the Spotlight you goooo.

Chrispy

Canada5878 Posts

January 31 2012 08:05 GMT

#32

Wow what a story. A true tale of morality vs money.

Balgrog

United States1221 Posts

January 31 2012 08:13 GMT

#33

I think the important thing to recognize is how much your actions effected you. You said you cried, it still haunts you and what not, this is good. I have worked some job that involved death (wild land fire fighter, old folks home, reading EKG's) and the only time death really got to me in a negative light towards me was when I stopped caring. When people died, I was sad and all that, but then I got to a state where death had 0 effect on me. As long as you are still effected emotionally, you still have decency, try not to fret over it to much and let if effect you.

theBALLS

Singapore2935 Posts

January 31 2012 08:38 GMT

#34

From what I see, you have already paid the price of your folly.

There was a reason for guilt; but no longer.

All the best to you and your family

MightyAtom

Korea (South)1897 Posts

January 31 2012 08:40 GMT

#35

A really great post, thanks for sharing. Extremely sincere and heartfelt. I know if the widow knew what you had gone through, she'd have also forgiven you by now. ^^

FractalsOnFire

Australia1756 Posts

January 31 2012 09:04 GMT

#36

I was expecting a similar situation to the simpsons episode where Bart sells his soul to Milhouse.

But that was a great read and at least you got through a dark patch in your life. I'm sure you've come out stronger and better for it.

pyrogenetix

China5098 Posts

January 31 2012 09:18 GMT

#37

Good post. It shows true strength that you are able to share this story now.

We live in a dog eat dog world. What you did isn't even remotely close to the most unethical business decisions in the world that are made on a daily basis, but how much it has affected you is what counts. Your girlfriend (or wife?) is very lucky to have you. Don't beat yourself up too hard over this. When we're young we don't understand the gravity of some of our actions.

acrimoneyius

United States983 Posts

January 31 2012 09:34 GMT

#38

This isn't easy to admit to. Thanks for sharing this story. You can almost never trust strangers.

surfinbird1

Germany999 Posts

January 31 2012 09:58 GMT

#39

Great blog, it's good to hear that you are doing better. I know people who work jobs whose ethics/morals don't coincide with their own. I never wanna be put in that same situation.

plogamer

Canada3132 Posts

January 31 2012 11:20 GMT

#40

I admire your humanity. At the same time, don't put all the blame on yourself. There are tons and tons of variables in life. Your actions may have contributed to the widow's death. But, I assure you, there were a lot of other things that also contributed to it. You were merely a part of the "dog-eat-dog" world. Let's do our best to make a better world so that no one else has to make such a choice. Thank you for sharing.

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