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A female friend of mine, yesterday, asked me to go to this festival on our Easter holidays. We would need our own tents and stuff, but that's not a problem. The thing is that if we go, it would probably be us two alone, and that'd be really awkward, especially given a small fun story that happened last year...
I met her 2 years ago or so, but only started talking with her last year and we got along pretty darn fine. Thing is, as I got to know her better, I started liking her, a LOT. I would do anything to be with her back then, to be honest, but I never did say anything because I was too timid to even suggest a date. Until one day, I was really down (my best bro and I had a falling out, since he started talking shit about her and I didn't like it one bit), she kept trying to get me to talk, and shit just spilled out; I told her I liked her. She told me she wasn't interested in me, at least to that degree and everything was fine for a while.
It started making me more depressed day after day, in a vicious cycle. Everything started going down, my grades, started getting more seclusive... Although I still talked to her, trying to hide it, even though she started getting farther and farther away emotionally, but nonetheless trusted me. Until that same bro came to my house one day and told me I had to talk to her, since I couldn't keep on being depressed and crying for days on end because of a crush. And when I did, all hell broke loose: she was yelling at me there was nothing to talk about and to leave her alone. I was devastated, until I gave it some thought: I mean, if she didn't even give me a chance to talk about it, she didn't really consider me as a friend of hers and probably isn't someone you'd like to hang out with. I spent the summer holidays rather well, although her image popped in my mind sometimes.
Fastforward to September. I was still hurt by it and didn't even talk to her, not even a single "Hi.", even though she tried to do smalltalk and rebuild our friendship. One day she grabbed me by the the arm and straight-forwardly asked me if I was still hurt by what had happened last time we had talked. I said yes, she tried to explain her actions that day, but I gestured a "Shut up and let me talk", saying if we would have that talk, it'd have to be in another place, not with people around, and with a lot of free time. Because I wasn't gonna have it. She apologized and I accepted it, even though I still resented her.
Fastforward to last Tuesday. I was just walking home with her, talking like we used to before everything started. We had just left a common friend's house, we had lunch there. Out of nowhere, she asks me to look at her and said "Now.". Obviously I didn't get it at first time, but I think you can guess what she meant, she wanted to talk about what had happened. and so we talked, no problems, and everything was fine after, no problems, or so I think.
Which brings us to yesterday. I was talking to her in-between classes, and she just asked me if I wanted to go to this festival during summer break. I said I was ok with it, asked some logistics. The thing is, we'd have to sleep in the same tent and, well, it could get awkward. She told me there was no problem with her (except that I could end up on top of her literally, since I move a lot during sleep >_>). But given what had happened last year, the memory of what happened still is a bit recent in my mind, so I'm not so sure about going... But I don't want her to miss out on something that she wants to do just because of the past, not to mention I'd like to go as well... I don't know what to do.
EDIT: Sorry about my english, I know it's not too good and I have a really boring writing style to boot ._.
  
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Oh Lordy, girl blog #6 today. I love it. 5/5
Today is a good day.
Unfortunately I don't think I have anything useful to contribute, never been in quite the same situation before. My gut feeling is that you should give it a shot, don't live a life of missed opportunities!
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So...
You got a thing for that girl and don't want to sleep in a tent with her because it could end "akward"?.
Seriously? :p
Just go and enjoy it... Just don't play "wannabe boyfriend" go there to enjoy the festival and if things run ok, other things might happen anyway...
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As I started reading this I was thinking to myself, holy crap Opticalshot is going to shit himself it's #6. F5 and he's already got this, lol.
(my best bro and I had a falling out, since he started talking shit about her and I didn't like it one bit),
There's a lesson here. Always take your friends seriously when they give you relationship advice. I'm not going to say they are always going to be right, but 99% of the time they have a much better perspective on how good of a fit and what type the other person it. If you have not already done so, go apologize to this guy.
Also, if she doesn't want to date you; accept your place in the fz or cut her loose and move on.
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Well, if you can end up on top of her?.. Why not. Just pretend you fell asleep, roll over and slowly start rubbing at her warm sleepy body. Mmmmm.. just know when to stop, rape could hurt your friendship in the future.
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Blazinghand
United States25559 Posts
On November 19 2011 05:12 OpticalShot wrote:
Oh Lordy, girl blog #6 today. I love it. 5/5
Today is a good day.
Unfortunately I don't think I have anything useful to contribute, never been in quite the same situation before. My gut feeling is that you should give it a shot, don't live a life of missed opportunities!
I know! It's christmas come early for us in blogland :D
My advice is to go and have fun, and try not to worry about her. Awkward stuff probably won't happen, and if it does, if it's awkward-good it's good and if it's awkward-bad it wont' be as memorable as the festival right? Don't pass up on a chance to make good memories.
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On November 19 2011 05:17 TheToast wrote:
There's a lesson here. Always take your friends seriously when they give you relationship advice. I'm not going to say they are always going to be right, but 99% of the time they have a much better perspective on how good of a fit and what type the other person it. If you have not already done so, go apologize to this guy.
Also, if she doesn't want to date you; accept your place in the fz or cut her loose and move on.
He thought we fit, it just didn't work out... Both never really liked each other, to be honest, but he thought me and her had a chance. But no worry, I have already apologized to him... He held me through my depression.
I don't want to date her anymore, I left that clear last time I spoke with her. I have moved on, although with a different perspective on relationships... I have had some girlfriends in the past, some dumped me, others, I dumped them, but none left me depressed. Just this.
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On November 19 2011 05:18 discodancer wrote:
Well, if you can end up on top of her?.. Why not. Just pretend you fell asleep, roll over and slowly start rubbing at her warm sleepy body. Mmmmm.. just know when to stop, rape could hurt your friendship in the future.
Thing is I actually thought of doing that... >_____>
I'm confused though... You guys like this kind of blogs or not? >_> I know it sounds weird, but it's my first blog post and I can't figure it out.
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Calgary25997 Posts
This sounds like a terrible idea. Do I want to go camping with my crush that rejected me? Fuck no.
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On November 19 2011 05:19 Blazinghand wrote:Show nested quote +On November 19 2011 05:12 OpticalShot wrote:
Oh Lordy, girl blog #6 today. I love it. 5/5
Today is a good day.
Unfortunately I don't think I have anything useful to contribute, never been in quite the same situation before. My gut feeling is that you should give it a shot, don't live a life of missed opportunities! I know! It's christmas come early for us in blogland :D My advice is to go and have fun, and try not to worry about her. Awkward stuff probably won't happen, and if it does, if it's awkward-good it's good and if it's awkward-bad it wont' be as memorable as the festival right? Don't pass up on a chance to make good memories.
Yea, worst case scenario, you'll have an interesting story to tell ^^
Plus, she obviously already thought about this before inviting you so if you still aren't interested in her and she's cool with sharing a tent, then I don't see an issue.
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On November 19 2011 05:33 Chill wrote:
This sounds like a terrible idea. Do I want to go camping with my crush that rejected me? Fuck no.
I disagree, I would go camping with you any day of the week Chill.
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Do you still have feelings for her? If not, go on this trip and just be friends. If you do, don't agree to go on the trip with her.
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On November 19 2011 05:33 Chill wrote:
This sounds like a terrible idea. Do I want to go camping with my crush that rejected me? Fuck no.
Yea, I just want to clarify with what I said, ONLY go if you really don't have feelings for her anymore. Otherwise... well. It pretty much boils down to you.
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you could always try to get her drunk before going to the tent, in that case it is very possible it won't matter what she does or does not want right now while sober. :p
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I say do it, so that when you inevitably get your drunken advances rejected, you'll already be in a sea of other drunken messes so that you can find an insta-rebound shortly after. And then you can write a follow up blog.
We all win in this scenario, you see.
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Blazinghand
United States25559 Posts
On November 19 2011 05:48 Hawk wrote:
I say do it, so that when you inevitably get your drunken advances rejected, you'll already be in a sea of other drunken messes so that you can find an insta-rebound shortly after. And then you can write a follow up blog.
We all win in this scenario, you see.
This sounds fairly reasonable. I mean, festivals are fun, camping are fun, drunken rejection is sorta meh but hey! It'll balance out.
Try not to let your history with this girl interfere with the possibility of a good time.
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On November 19 2011 05:36 Enervate wrote:
Do you still have feelings for her? If not, go on this trip and just be friends. If you do, don't agree to go on the trip with her.
He probably does, kind of. I think that's the problem.
OP; do you actually WANT those feelings though? Be honest now. Do you want to be in love with her still, is there a part of you that still hopes she'll change her mind? Because I am kind of getting some mixed signals from you -- you say you're hurt, you don't want to go, and that's fine. But you also said that you "might end up literally on top of her" during sleep, and I am not quite sure if this actually excites you in a way.
Basically I would really like you to realize what exactly it is you're feeling.
In case you're still a little bit in love with her, and actually WANT to be, then it might not be a good idea to go on that trip without telling her that you still do have mixed feelings and it would be really awkward for you. And I would also try and think about how you could handle those feelings -- obviously, if she's not that into you, you should not keep loving her for all eternity, right? Wouldn't want to miss out on another girl just because you're still pining for her, would you?
If you do find though that you're actually not really in love with her anymore, and you're absolutely sure that you would do nothing sexual even given the chance, then you can go on the trip. Just because you got rejected once, does not mean you cannot man up and still be friends. That whole drama between you might have been partly caused by you not handling rejection very well, from the way I understood it, and if you have actually surpassed this perfectly, which I am really not sure you have, then go for it. Maybe you could meet a hot girl there who's actually into you, and sharing a tent with a friend is pretty nice.
But I really want you to think about this very hard, because if there is some doubt in your mind, you might end in a dangerous situation that certainly will not help your depression! You would not want, for example, to mistake her friendliness as an attempt to start flirting with you, or if she gives you a friendly kiss on the cheek, to fall into months of depression. Or even in the slightly outlandish case that she does actually, literally, come on to you, saying "oh it was all a mistake I was not prepared but I really like you now blabla", you need to know how and be able to react in a proper and sensible way given your past history. What if she also feels guilty and unsure about how to react, and in turn confuses her feelings with love? And you two end up breaking up once again in the near future?
Before you think about going, you would really have to be able to handle this situation, and I am not saying this is very likely at all, it is probably the most extreme thing that could happen. But it is also the case that has the potential to hurt you the most, by far, I feel, am I being wrong here?
Just try to think whether you actually want her as a friend, right now, or a lover, and base your decision upon that.
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On November 19 2011 05:48 MisterD wrote:
you could always try to get her drunk before going to the tent, in that case it is very possible it won't matter what she does or does not want right now while sober. :p
Oh, I doubt she'll get drunk... Never drank anything alcoholic when we and a friend of ours (same as mentioned in the text) went out to some bars.
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Australia188 Posts
Sounds like a terrible idea, if you wanna go to the festival it might be worth it but don't go just to be with her. She doesn't like you and while it might hurt for a bit you shouldn't get depressed about it, just move on.
You can't meet the next girl you might like if you're hung up worrying about someone who might never like you back.
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If you do find though that you're actually not really in love with her anymore, and you're absolutely sure that you would do nothing sexual even given the chance, then you can go on the trip.
LOL
I don't remember when i the last time had to really laugh at something i read online.
1. Former crush (so seuxal attraction +++, you not only found/find her hot, you wanted to seriously date her)
2. Sleeping in the same tent whteout any other company at the festival? (so you could not only sleep with her, but no one else would else ever know about it unless you tell them)
3. Beeing drunk/stoned/or just happy (your at a festival, if your not drunk and/or stoned and/or happy and/or euphoric your clearly doing it wrong).
Now... ON WHAT PLANET.. Could any human being say: "I am 100% sure that there won't happen anything between me and her"... not even holding hands.. or slight cuddling... or rabbitsex.....
Seriously, i would decline that "offer" from the GF of my best friend which i'm actually not attracted to (aside from that she's a decent looking human female) and never would da anything with...
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She sounds kinda bitchy, just from the short description I read. I would move on from her, far too many girls in the world who don't have all the drama. If you decided to go camping and to the festival, I would recommend bringing a few more friends with you and make it a group activity. You shouldn't go alone with her unless you want to prolong the bullshit and feeling down.
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United States17042 Posts
On November 19 2011 05:33 Chill wrote:
This sounds like a terrible idea. Do I want to go camping with my crush that rejected me? Fuck no.
Maybe you can turn it around and be a mistake.
Best case.
Why would you do this to yourself.
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Don't go! Man, if I could do something differently in my past, it would be finishing unsuccessful love stories waaaay earlier.
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I'm wondering why she would even offer to go camping with you. Is it a gesture of friendship, that she wants to prove to you that she's comfortable being close friends with you? Is it a test to see your mental stability with regards to her? Has she thought about it at all?
I would say it's actually completely okay to be friends with a girl that rejected you. In real life these things happen: not everyone can be attracted to each other. The problem is that oftentimes the friendship you used to have with such a girl, before things went wrong, might be based on false premises. Having feelings for a girl can cloud your perception of her actual personality and it might turn out you were only really interested in her as a sort-of projection of the kind of girl you want to like(?).
From your post, I don't think going camping is a great idea. Your writing does not really betray a very high comfort level with women in general. Just by how much importance you're giving a weekend camping, it seems like it's just too risky and too much of a high-pressure situation.
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I'm gonna echo what the others have said man, don't do it! What you need to do is get over her :/
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She doesn't deserve you though if you do want some closure go on the event. Spend time together and just be like hey your missing out on this and I can't believe you'd be such a bitch to me after I poured my heart out.
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EPT
