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Open Letter to EG

Blogs > SirJolt
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SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-19 12:47:44
August 19 2011 12:31 GMT
#1
Dearest Evil Geniuses,

I may be neither player nor event organiser, but I think I could do something to help you with your public image issues in the SC2 community. What I’m going to suggest here might seem a little drastic, but I assure you, it’s been well considered. It’s counter-intuitive, but I’m going to have to ask you to bear with me, I am an expert marketing consultant.*

Since the whole debacle with PR around Team EG’s acquisition of Puma from TSL, there’s been an impression that EG is slow to respond to situations. Moreover, the ill feeling generated by the glacial slowness of the official response was exacerbated by the way that independent third parties (hobbyists, for want of a better word) were treated by EG’s management. I’ll put my hands up now and say that I’m not going to take sides, but these are things to keep in mind.

Similarly, whether correctly or incorrectly, EG has managed to garner a fair bit of bad feeling over its presentation of the acquisition of HuK from Liquid. While many have said that this is just the way business works in esports, there are others who’ve taken the whole affair a lot more personally. Again, let’s not judge anyone here, let’s just be honest about where everyone stands.

I suppose the summation of all this is that Team EG has managed to generate a fair bit of bad blood with some sizeable segments of the community.

Now, you might doubt me, but when it comes to business I’ve always been told it’s good to work to your strengths, so what I have to ask is this:

If Team EG is so good at being perceived as villainous without trying, why not go the whole hog? I mean, if you really drove at it, how evil could you be?


Albeit for me to sit here and pontificate, but can you imagine the draw it would have? No matter who EG was playing against, there would be the Good vs Evil angle to play off. Can you imagine the sheer exultation of fans? Now I don’t mean to sit here and say that being villainous is going to net you more fans; that’s probably not the case… but if you really embraced being an evil-to-the-core team, you’d attract that viewership that just desperately wants to see their team as the good guys.

Be blacker than black. Don’t shy away from being called evil.

Can you imagine the PR opportunities? Can you imagine the criticism?

Team EG is just so evil, I hate them. Please stop being so unrelentingly, irredeemably evil. Please leave us alone, EG.


Can you imagine the responses? Can you imagine the PR?

If I could drink your tears, I would.


It would give EG players carte blanche to behave atrociously at events. Consider the value, not of fame or victory, but of unadulterated infamy, of notoriety beyond compare. Never Surrender, Never GG.

You needn’t stop at being a bit evil though; really run with it. To achieve full supervillain status, EG players may need to spend more time in the gym, but this would synergise well with the new costumes you could roll out if you were fielding a pure evil SC2 team. You could equally have a player like InControL dress in a grey suit, stroking a cat throughout play, à la Ernst Stavro Blofeld.*

Here is a quick mockup of EGBlofeld:

[image loading]
Of course, you have access to real EG players, so your own results will likely be better than these.


In fact, maybe even change player names to resemble those of spy-movie villains to round out that Evil Genius feel? All you need to do is become a team that people can really honestly hate, not this watered down hate that comes with drama and just being a little BM, but whole heartedly hate, without any redeeming characteristics.

Embrace the villainy. Embrace the ill repute. Embrace the BM.

Be the team you have so long purported to be.

Become Evil Geniuses.


Yours, with hopes of future loathing,

SirJolt






+ Show Spoiler +
*I am available as a consultant, but my rates are high. PM me if you’re interested. This is just the most basic of the changes I would make.

**For extra commitment, score a scar deep into one side of his face. He will recover, but his opponents will never doubt his commitment.



****
Moderator@SirJolt
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
August 19 2011 12:40 GMT
#2
5/5, would read again.

EG: I REQUEST A FREAKING IDRA WITH A LASER BEAM ATTACHED TO HIS HEAD
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
Elsid
Profile Joined September 2010
Ireland318 Posts
August 19 2011 12:41 GMT
#3
How come all your blogs are really good <3
bonifaceviii
Profile Joined May 2010
Canada2890 Posts
August 19 2011 12:43 GMT
#4
Hire this man.
Stay a while and listen || http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=354018
iamperfection
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
United States9642 Posts
August 19 2011 12:46 GMT
#5
Its like a pro wresteler that turns heeel as they say. Embrace the hate.
http://www.teamliquid.net/forum/viewmessage.php?topic_id=406168&currentpage=78#1551
OpticalShot
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Canada6330 Posts
August 19 2011 12:51 GMT
#6
Not as exceptional as your last one about hurting ESPORTS but still a 5/5 blog~
[TLMS] REBOOT
Nesquik
Profile Joined February 2011
United Kingdom600 Posts
August 19 2011 12:51 GMT
#7
I laughed very good blog and good read.
Oh IMMvp won agian but EGHuK getting Ro8 is a way bigger deal - Gootecks
Crais
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada2136 Posts
August 19 2011 13:10 GMT
#8
lol funny
RIP MBC Game Hero
Banteng
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States147 Posts
August 19 2011 13:18 GMT
#9
A well reasoned argument indeed! Would this idea include BM catchphrases from each player?
snotboogie
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Australia3550 Posts
August 19 2011 13:19 GMT
#10
5/5 bravo. Would read again.
mordek
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
United States12704 Posts
August 19 2011 13:24 GMT
#11
Code S Pro-poster status achieved imo.
It is vanity to love what passes quickly and not to look ahead where eternal joy abides. Tiberius77 | Mordek #1881 "I took a mint!"
BobMcJohnson
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
France2916 Posts
August 19 2011 13:24 GMT
#12
Well, actually, it would make and EG fan out of me. Bad to the bone
Romanes eunt domus
Jinsho
Profile Joined March 2011
United Kingdom3101 Posts
August 19 2011 13:32 GMT
#13
Two words: Leather and spikes. Leather, spikes.

Spiked leather. Spiked Leather with spikes, menacing with leathery spikes of leather, depicting leather spikes being spiked by leather.
Noe
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Sweden80 Posts
August 19 2011 13:46 GMT
#14
I don't know how you do it, but you always make me smile with your blogs. Great writing as always.
Shana
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Indonesia1814 Posts
August 19 2011 13:51 GMT
#15
5/5

Great blog as always :p
Believing in what lies ahead. | That which we call a rose, by any other name would smell as sweet.
Grettin
Profile Joined April 2010
42381 Posts
August 19 2011 14:00 GMT
#16
Bravo indeed
"If I had force-fields in Brood War, I'd never lose." -Bisu
Drizzt3
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States189 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-19 14:09:59
August 19 2011 14:09 GMT
#17
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.
"Before my time is done I will look down at your corpse and smile."-Brad Pitt (Achilles)
Kiante
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Australia7069 Posts
August 19 2011 14:17 GMT
#18
u mad bro?

User was warned for this post
Writer
Serejai
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
6007 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-19 15:23:15
August 19 2011 14:17 GMT
#19
On August 19 2011 23:09 Drizzt3 wrote:
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.


I agree wholeheartedly with this poster. I don't think your flawed arguments are going to be very useful here on the forums (not that it would make any difference if you emailed Alex anyway since your logic is bad and full of holes).

Your writing style is also really bad and you don't seem to have any knowledge of StarCraft II. Everyone knows that EG is the best foreign team out there and I feel it's wrong for you to give them advice on how to run things. They seem to be doing a pretty damn good job as it is. Until another team accomplishes even half of what EG has then you have no right to tell them how to improve.
I HAVE 5 TOAST POINTS
deconduo
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
Ireland4122 Posts
August 19 2011 14:21 GMT
#20
I completely agree. I also suggest all EG players should be incredibly antagonising when victorious, baiting their opponents and using celebrations such as this one:

SenorChang
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia4729 Posts
August 19 2011 14:22 GMT
#21
On August 19 2011 23:09 Drizzt3 wrote:
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.

This guy is completely correct.

Have you ever even made a blog post before, SirJolt? What were you thinking!
ლ(╹◡╹ლ)
CryMore
Profile Joined March 2010
United States497 Posts
August 19 2011 14:23 GMT
#22
<3 you SirJolt.

They should all wear black and get the makeup artist for GSL to give them that crazy eyeliner.
"What wins? 3-base Protoss or 2-base Zerg?" "1-base Terran"
Opera
Profile Joined March 2011
France469 Posts
August 19 2011 14:29 GMT
#23
That would make me a fan of EG
It ain't over till it's over
Orpheos
Profile Joined April 2010
United States1663 Posts
August 19 2011 14:35 GMT
#24
whole team embodies Idra? pro strats
LuckyFool
Profile Blog Joined June 2007
United States9015 Posts
August 19 2011 14:50 GMT
#25
Such a great post!!! Loved it.
tripper688
Profile Joined January 2011
United States569 Posts
August 19 2011 15:01 GMT
#26
Oh my goodness, this is pure gold.
"Excuse me I gotta do some vacuuming really fast *vrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm*" Day[9]
Madera
Profile Joined July 2011
Sweden2672 Posts
August 19 2011 15:03 GMT
#27
Haha, your blogs are always hilarious.
Djzapz
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
Canada10681 Posts
August 19 2011 15:06 GMT
#28
rofl Jolt ^^
"My incompetence with power tools had been increasing exponentially over the course of 20 years spent inhaling experimental oven cleaners"
Bloodash
Profile Joined April 2010
Netherlands1384 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-19 15:12:13
August 19 2011 15:09 GMT
#29
Lol great blog! ^^
this sparked my imagination, let's imagine all the EG players in their evil role:

Machine: The borg
[image loading]
fits the zerg, both keen on taking over the universe, no free will

Idra: Grima Wormtongue
[image loading]
somehow it was the first thing that came into my mind and it kinda fits, so I'm sticking with it

Incontrol: Doctor Evil would be good, but I'll go with
Jason X
[image loading]
he also likes to crush people ;D

Sir Scoots: Jigsaw
[image loading]
The mastermind

I couldn't come up with a decent British villain for Demuslim unfortunately :/
I'll bite this hand that feeds me, and take it for my own!
Steel
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Japan2283 Posts
August 19 2011 15:13 GMT
#30
Not a bad idea, though they couldn't do things that are evil to the point of being illegal

Try another route paperboy.
intotheheart
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Canada33091 Posts
August 19 2011 15:16 GMT
#31
I feel that the EG team should watch/do FBH-esque ceremonies.
kiss kiss fall in love
SirJolt
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
the Dagon Knight4002 Posts
August 19 2011 15:20 GMT
#32
On August 19 2011 23:09 Drizzt3 wrote:
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.


Are you familiar with the concept of an open letter?

In my defense, I did highlight this post to Team EG around the time I posted it:

[image loading]
Moderator@SirJolt
GHOSTCLAW
Profile Blog Joined February 2008
United States17042 Posts
August 19 2011 15:21 GMT
#33
I mean their name already puts them halfway there.

bbl photoshopping vaderhuk
PhotographerLiquipedia. Drop me a pm if you've got questions/need help.
shindigs
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
United States4795 Posts
August 19 2011 15:27 GMT
#34
On August 20 2011 00:21 GHOSTCLAW wrote:
I mean their name already puts them halfway there.

bbl photoshopping vaderhuk



YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO DESTROY THE GRACK, NOT JOIN HIM
Photographer@shindags || twitch.tv/shindigs
Serejai
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
6007 Posts
August 19 2011 15:29 GMT
#35
Huk... you're breaking my heart!
I HAVE 5 TOAST POINTS
SaLaYa
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States363 Posts
August 19 2011 15:32 GMT
#36
HuK will eventually rejoin Liquid, and will meet IdrA in the GSL finals...

If only. That would be hilarious.
Cornell 2014 // eYe_am_SaSsY
kmkg
Profile Joined August 2010
Japan186 Posts
August 19 2011 15:37 GMT
#37
Sponsors would love this. Not.
Livelovedie
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United States492 Posts
August 19 2011 15:41 GMT
#38
On August 20 2011 00:09 Bloodash wrote:
Lol great blog! ^^
this sparked my imagination, let's imagine all the EG players in their evil role:

Machine: The borg
[image loading]
fits the zerg, both keen on taking over the universe, no free will

Idra: Grima Wormtongue
[image loading]
somehow it was the first thing that came into my mind and it kinda fits, so I'm sticking with it

Incontrol: Doctor Evil would be good, but I'll go with
Jason X
[image loading]
he also likes to crush people ;D

Sir Scoots: Jigsaw
[image loading]
The mastermind

I couldn't come up with a decent British villain for Demuslim unfortunately :/

Jack the Ripper maybe?
Saad
Profile Joined June 2011
United States50 Posts
August 19 2011 15:43 GMT
#39
Very well written. But I doubt EG will commit to this. Some of their members try to be as well mannered as possible even if it is a bit overdone..
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32051 Posts
August 19 2011 15:47 GMT
#40
YES. The best part about this is the potential for insane interviews and prematch intros



PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
Ryalnos
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1946 Posts
August 19 2011 15:47 GMT
#41
On August 19 2011 23:09 Drizzt3 wrote:
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.


You must not have read any of SirJolt's blog posts before (and seem to be a little slow to boot).
UltimateHurl
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Ireland591 Posts
August 19 2011 15:50 GMT
#42
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Evil Geniuses. If they weren't named for the 2004 video game I don't know what they were named for:
[image loading]
JinDesu
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States3990 Posts
August 19 2011 16:10 GMT
#43
On August 20 2011 00:50 UltimateHurl wrote:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Evil Geniuses. If they weren't named for the 2004 video game I don't know what they were named for:
[image loading]


This.
Is.
Amazing.

*loling hard on floor*
Yargh
Iyerbeth
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
England2410 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-19 16:19:32
August 19 2011 16:18 GMT
#44
First, awesome blog. But it got me thinking, you're absolutely right, these teams would be way cooler if they were true to their name. Therefore, in a similar vein, I'm hereby asking for all of Team Liquid's players to be imbued with the superpower ability to turn themselves in to a completely liquid state.

I believe these changes would be great for viewers and if Team Liquid or Evil Geniuses decline, they're doing it purposely to kill ESPORTS!
♥ Liquid`Sheth ♥ Liquid`TLO ♥
Yanki
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
Denmark14 Posts
August 19 2011 17:17 GMT
#45
And and they could get CombatEX - No seriously I love this.
Already kind of a fan but a real evil EG and I'd love them even more! xD
Never GG, Never Surrender
UltimateHurl
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
Ireland591 Posts
August 19 2011 17:24 GMT
#46
On August 20 2011 01:10 JinDesu wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 20 2011 00:50 UltimateHurl wrote:
stuff!


This.
Is.
Amazing.

*loling hard on floor*
[/img]
Thanks

Want to see an EG vs TL battle royale!
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
August 19 2011 17:30 GMT
#47
That was the longest incontrol joke I've ever read.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
Trozz
Profile Blog Joined November 2008
Canada3454 Posts
August 19 2011 17:51 GMT
#48
Stories need villains.
Evil's even in their name!
Pretty cool post, sir.
A build is not a guess, an estimation or a hunch, a feeling, or a foolish intuition. A build is a dependable, unwavering, unarguably accurate, portrayer of your ambition.
blahman3344
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
United States2015 Posts
August 19 2011 17:58 GMT
#49
Interesting...a bold move, but i can see where you're going with your logic here....it's Evil, yet so Genius at the same time. SirJolt, you are quite the maverick in marketing and publicity.
I like haikus and / I can not lie. You other / brothers can't deny
Revolt
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States288 Posts
August 19 2011 18:54 GMT
#50
On August 19 2011 23:09 Drizzt3 wrote:
This post is a joke right? If you actually wanted to write a letter to EG, you would PM Alex, not make a comic post on a public forum. I'm not even going to bother to point out the obvious holes in your argument, because this post doesn't even belong here in the first place.


i have to agree with this guy.

i hope this was a comical post, nothing serious. i enjoy reading your blogs sirjolt. xD
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity.
W2
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
United States1177 Posts
August 19 2011 18:56 GMT
#51
This is what ive been saying all along. There are advantages of being the bad guy and that is not adhering to standard etiquette. sAvior is a mastermind/beast/maestro but no team will take the reputation risk in acquiring him. While the good teams spend their dollars scouting and breeding talent the right way, EG can bypass all of that and just poach the hell out of everyone good. Imagine adding sAvior, DRG, jjakji, Puzzle to the linup of idra huk and puma. This is already assuming the top tier teams like IM and Slayers have a strong hold on their players.
Hi
Tegin
Profile Joined November 2010
United States840 Posts
August 19 2011 19:06 GMT
#52
Hire this man!
5/5
Pain is weakness leaving the body.
ComaDose
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
Canada10357 Posts
August 19 2011 19:11 GMT
#53
Guys obviously he was completely serious about this.
Why would he PM Alex this information when he could both attach community feedback and advertise his services in all its brilliance at the same time.
Also now with witnesses he will get compensated when Incontrol shaves his head.
BW pros training sc2 is like kiss making a dub step album.
sRapers_ValkS
Profile Joined August 2009
United States644 Posts
August 19 2011 20:32 GMT
#54
i wanna see LZ get VICIOUS
ymir233
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States8275 Posts
August 19 2011 23:19 GMT
#55
On August 20 2011 00:27 shindigs wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 20 2011 00:21 GHOSTCLAW wrote:
I mean their name already puts them halfway there.

bbl photoshopping vaderhuk



YOU WERE SUPPOSE TO DESTROY THE GRACK, NOT JOIN HIM


LMAO SO GOOD.

EG.HuK: Don't make me 4gate you.
Liquid`Tyler: HuK, my allegiance is to the Liquid`, to the oGs-TL FAMILY!
Come motivate me to be cynical about animus at http://infinityandone.blogspot.com/ // Stork proxy gates are beautiful.
BigFan
Profile Blog Joined December 2010
TLADT24920 Posts
August 19 2011 23:33 GMT
#56
Nice blog 5/5!
Former BW EiC"Watch Bakemonogatari or I will kill you." -Toad, April 18th, 2017
turdburgler
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
England6749 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-08-20 00:25:52
August 20 2011 00:25 GMT
#57
On August 20 2011 00:09 Bloodash wrote:
Lol great blog! ^^
this sparked my imagination, let's imagine all the EG players in their evil role:

Machine: The borg
[image loading]
fits the zerg, both keen on taking over the universe, no free will

Idra: Grima Wormtongue
[image loading]
somehow it was the first thing that came into my mind and it kinda fits, so I'm sticking with it

Incontrol: Doctor Evil would be good, but I'll go with
Jason X
[image loading]
he also likes to crush people ;D

Sir Scoots: Jigsaw
[image loading]
The mastermind

I couldn't come up with a decent British villain for Demuslim unfortunately :/



machine is far less effective than the borg

machine is like a dalek and terran is like some stairs
Mobius_1
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
United Kingdom2763 Posts
August 20 2011 01:38 GMT
#58
SirJolt, you realise that Incontrol's good manners and niceness is really just a front for EG's true plans to rule over all of ESPORTS? He humourously and silently and unknowningly seeds ideas of pity for horses in episodes of SOTG and make us look to TL.net for comfort and consolation, where his minion and right-hand Nazgul seeks to control us all and weaken us and turn us over to the dark lord's rule.

Only the SlayerS fellowship, on their long journey from their hobbit huts in Seoul can save us, and restore the true king of the lands Lim Yohwan and his beautiful elven queen, Jessica.

Oh, and I'm picturing Day9 as Gandalf, and it's pure gold.
Starleague Forever. RIP KT Violet~
3FFA
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
United States3931 Posts
August 20 2011 02:27 GMT
#59
On August 20 2011 00:50 UltimateHurl wrote:
I've said it before and I'll say it again: Evil Geniuses. If they weren't named for the 2004 video game I don't know what they were named for:
[image loading]

You are so right. Thank you for letting out the truth. O the truth.... it feels so good....

"As long as it comes from a pure place and from a honest place, you know, you can write whatever you want."
Meapak_Ziphh
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States6786 Posts
August 20 2011 08:49 GMT
#60
5/5 as always SirJolt :D
Forti et Fideli ~ TL Mafia Forum: Come play with us! ~ Go Samsung KHAN, Stork, JangBi , Shine, Grape, and TurN Fighting!~ wat
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