pretty standard. 13-15 I believe is the average in a lot of places. Think it might be a bit higher in the US what with the christian conservatism and all, but it's not that unusual.

And to OP: Congrats, you have a wonderful friend and someone who trusts you enough that you can help them and support them. That is a rare enough opportunity that you should honour it for what it is. We don't all get to have a one on one intimacy with every beautiful person we meet. Don't covet her attention, just enjoy it when it comes and encourage it to continue without demanding it. Lovers come and go, but friends are friends forever.

Raz0r

United States287 Posts

July 20 2011 08:19 GMT

#22

I don't know your situation as well as you do but if you were together when you were 13, I do not think it means as much as it would as an adult relationship. I mean I think you may be just trying to fill yourself up with the idea of her and how great the times were when you were together because the opportunity arised. Your ex too, if she really loved you she would have gotten back to you instead of another man. I think she just wants to find someone who will make her happy but isn't finding any luck so she turned to you because you had the foundation of your previous relationship.

Gummy

United States2180 Posts

July 20 2011 08:31 GMT

#23

Maybe you could take the kids and let her have the military husband. Soulmates are cheap, but cute little kids are really hard to come by these days.

Djagulingu

Germany3605 Posts

July 20 2011 08:33 GMT

#24

Dude, you have to decide first. This means, you should decide about whether you want her despite the fact that she had two (or more) ex-husbands with one of them getting dumped for you (if things work out, I mean) and you have to look after her both children that are absolutely not yours, or not. But you have to decide wisely as you won't be able to say a single word about her ex-husbands or kids after you get her (that is if she decides to come to you).

After that, if you decide that you want her, you should get her and die trying (I am pretty sure you can do it but I still don't know). Thing is, she wants to be with you too, but she is so undecided and doubtful about it. It is YOU who has to give her confidence about it and show that you want her despite everything. I'll be straight forward, this will be the hardest thing in your lifetime.

If you decide that you don't want her after all these things, you have to move on and stop bugging her. After that, it's up to you whether you want to stay friends with her or completely remove her out of your life after you move on, but first, you have to move on.

I had a similar decision in my hand, for the love of my lifetime, and I chose my path. You have a similar decision in your hand and you can choose only one of two paths. I'd say, choose wisely.

Deleted User 101379

4849 Posts

July 20 2011 08:58 GMT

#25

I really recommend leaving her alone and cutting the contact.

You had your chance, you messed up and there is no "undo and retry" in life.
She has someone else and you try to actively destroy her relationship and in the long term make her sad by saying that her husband is bad and shouldn't have her.
You are jealous, and jealousy is the most destructive of all feelings.
Be happy for her that she has someone she loves enough to have a child with him, don't try to destroy it. Find someone else you can be that happy with.

DivinO

United States4796 Posts

July 20 2011 09:22 GMT

#26

I know nothing about what I'd do in your situation but it is a really interesting story. :/ Must hurt, but best of luck if that means anything.

3FFA

United States3931 Posts

July 20 2011 10:26 GMT

#27

Think about this: when you grow older will you wish you were wondering what to do and what you should've done in the past right now or will you wish you actually did something during that time you wasted your life thinking about a girl you can't get in a world with millions of girls?

edit: This is honestly what I tell myself whenever I'm crying about something instead of either 1) doing something about it or 2) Moving on like a pro.

Kickboxer

Slovenia1308 Posts

July 20 2011 10:36 GMT

#28

3.000.000.000 women in the world.

10% insanely hot. 10% extremely nice. 10% intelligent and fun.

This cannot be stressed enough.

Existential

Australia2107 Posts

July 20 2011 11:01 GMT

#29

Sounds like you really need to move on. Specially since she's now married and has another child on the way.

TheWarbler

United States1659 Posts

July 20 2011 11:34 GMT

#30

Man I am starting to understand why Chill hates these blogs so much, After you see enough them.

Deleted User 101379

4849 Posts

July 20 2011 11:42 GMT

#31

On July 20 2011 20:34 TheWarbler wrote:
Man I am starting to understand why Chill hates these blogs so much, After you see enough them.

Well, there are fun ones and there are bad ones...

Zorkmid

4410 Posts

July 20 2011 11:42 GMT

#32

Dude, sounds like you narrowly avoided throwing your whole life away raising some other dude's kid!

Well done! You should send that military guy a thank-you card.

OpticalShot

Canada6330 Posts

July 20 2011 12:15 GMT

#33

I kind of have a similar situation without the babies. Dated a wonderful girl back when I was 17, broke up and never talked to her for 4 years, then started talking to her again starting last year and I don't know it's just a lot of confusion and indecision. Twin flames...?

TheGiz

Canada708 Posts

July 20 2011 12:44 GMT

#34

What are you so sad about?

YOU WIN

Some other loser is now stuck with a child that is not his own and another one on the way. He doesn't even get a honeymoon phase in his marriage - it's just straight to work. Who knows what kind of horrific things will happen if he is ever shipped out? This girl will probably latch onto some other sucker.

I get that you used to care about her, but trust me, you are better off.

Raisauce

Canada864 Posts

July 20 2011 15:09 GMT

#35

I don't think it's wrong on the guys end to mess around with a girl whose in a relationship. It's her fault. In this case though, children are involved so if I were you I would stay away. Don't be a legit homewrecker brah.

Dapper_Cad

United Kingdom964 Posts

July 20 2011 15:11 GMT

#36

How old is she?

ComaDose

Canada10349 Posts

July 20 2011 15:14 GMT

#37

I think most people have a soft spot for whom they lost their virginity too.
And it amplifies if it was a two way vcard exchange.

iCCup.Nove

United States260 Posts

July 20 2011 15:30 GMT

#38

If you were the father of one of those children you would not be feeling this way. Sounds like you just need to meet other girls.

StorkHwaiting

United States3465 Posts

July 20 2011 18:30 GMT

#39

On July 20 2011 17:11 MrBitter wrote:

Show nested quote +

13!?

Jesus kids are starting young these days....

Isn't he same age as you? It's not these days. He was doing all that playalisticadillac in YOUR day.

ranshaked

United States870 Posts

July 20 2011 19:12 GMT

#40

On July 21 2011 00:30 iCCup.Nove wrote:
If you were the father of one of those children you would not be feeling this way. Sounds like you just need to meet other girls.

I agree with this to a certain extent. The problem is that I've met quite a few girls. (I don't want to refer to myself as a man-whore, but rather a man that finds stuff quickly) Since her I've had 3 girlfriends, and before that 11. I've slept with 15 girls and still none of them can beat that with this girl.