I miss her.
I spoke with my ex gf this evening for 4 hours...
Blogs > ranshaked |
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
I miss her. | ||
SarR
476 Posts
User was warned for this post | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:29 SaRrAceN wrote: Now gogogo poke the baby's head. merrzz User was warned for this post | ||
krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:32 krndandaman wrote: wait, what...? i dont mean to sound judgmental or anything but i just can't help feel that this isn't going to turn out well for both parties That's the thing. I told her many times that I'm biased. I told her that I know for a fact that I'd treat her a million times better, but the situation is just absolutely horrific. It sucks when you've been in love with someone for so many years that it ends like that | ||
Venus.exe
United States285 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:36 Venus.exe wrote: Hmm thanks. I'll look in to it. We are talking on aim right now. And she just stated: Google "twin flames". It's kind of like a soul mate but it's basically your other "half" who makes you a whole and you can wait for your partner despite what situation he/she maybe in because the relationship is just so much bigger than anything humanly. It's a mystic concept so I would say take it with a grain of salt. "I don't want you to get the wrong idea" It sucks because when we spoke I can hear it in her voice that she wanted to say so many things, but she just couldn't because of her morality with her husband at this point. | ||
Artifice
United States523 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:38 Artifice wrote: The whole "Lets get married right fuckin' now because I'm in the military and this won't work out otherwise" thing seems really silly to me. It doesn't seem to work out often in my experience. So maybe hold out for that? But that doesn't sound smart either. Really if she meant that much to you, you shouldn't have given up on it when you were 19, even if she did have a kid. Shitty situation for sure :| I was 19 and in college with a crappy job. She wanted to move to Florida, but I couldn't rationally see it happen. I tend to think that way; while she thinks in fantasy and instinct. | ||
Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
Believe me when I say that it only hurts your fragile heart more and more as you think about lost love more and more. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:46 Gamegene wrote: Move on man and meet someone better. Believe me when I say that it only hurts your fragile heart more and more as you think about lost love more and more. It's frustrating because for 2 years I've lurked on occasion her facebook and other things just to never get the balls up to actually talk to her, and then she follows me on twitter and the next day we have a 4 hour conversation about everything. I hate how poorly this guy is treating her. But she's basically stuck. She refuses to have another child to a man that will not be with her for life. I should have been that man, but I had been to afraid to accept it. | ||
Vain
Netherlands1115 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:49 ranshaked wrote: It's frustrating because for 2 years I've lurked on occasion her facebook and other things just to never get the balls up to actually talk to her, and then she follows me on twitter and the next day we have a 4 hour conversation about everything. I hate how poorly this guy is treating her. But she's basically stuck. She refuses to have another child to a man that will not be with her for life. I should have been that man, but I had been to afraid to accept it. You say it yourself."I should have been". That's in the past now and you can't do anything in your power to change that. It really sucks but you'll have to accept that at least for now. There is no reason to poke in her existing relationship either. If she leaves him for you, how can you ever trust her to never do the same thing to you? If you want to talk to her do it if it's not too painfull. Otherwise just leave it at this. that's the best you can do right now. I wouldn't wait for her relationship to end because if it doesn't it can be very hard to watch. i hope you can find a good way to handle this, You are the only one that knows the whole situation | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
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arb
Noobville17917 Posts
she has 2 kids. dont tear up a happy home | ||
Zapdos_Smithh
Canada2620 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 17:04 arb wrote: just leave her and her family alone, shit. she has 2 kids. dont tear up a happy home You're right. I'm being selfish. Ive had so many failed relationships for the past two years that it just seems right for us two to be together. I know she wants it as well, but she realizes she cant | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 20 2011 17:04 Zapdos_Smithh wrote: Are we supposed to be impressed by 4 hours or something? I never speak on the phone, let alone for that long | ||
MrBitter
United States2939 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:24 ranshaked wrote: When I was 13 I lost my virginity to the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my entire 22 year life. We lost contact for 6 years, but when I was 19 we rekindled our relationship. With this, I learned she had a child with a man, which in turn led us to a 1 year relationship (long distance.) It was beautiful; yet she had a child and it was getting serious. Quite frankly I wasn't ready for it and we broke it off. Several weeks later she had found a new man and quickly got married. He was in the military and it was best for her and her child. Nonetheless, this evening we spoke for 4 hours on telephone. She currently lives in Hawaii with another child on the way. It was amazing, but I know in my hear it was wrong. I told her everything I had ever wanted to say; but in the end...she's married with a child on the way. I'm not quite sure exactly how to handle this. There's an odd connection between the two of us that never fades, but we always make due with the most awkward situations possible. She understands me. I understand her. It is why she came to me. I miss her. 13!? Jesus kids are starting young these days.... | ||
Dfgj
Singapore5922 Posts
The more you bring yourself back to memories and the past and tempt yourself with thinking about them and what could be, the harder it is, because you don't let yourself move on with life. Yeah, it feels like you don't want to give up what you might have, but it's better to do so. | ||
Gamegene
United States8308 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:49 ranshaked wrote: It's frustrating because for 2 years I've lurked on occasion her facebook and other things just to never get the balls up to actually talk to her, and then she follows me on twitter and the next day we have a 4 hour conversation about everything. I hate how poorly this guy is treating her. But she's basically stuck. She refuses to have another child to a man that will not be with her for life. I should have been that man, but I had been to afraid to accept it. I know where you're coming from. I had that conversation 6 times with a girl I shouldn't have fallen in love with. And each time I had that conversation I only felt worse and worse about not being able to be part of the story. And it drove me nuts each time we had to part ways, as life goes, to the point where I would talk to her and have that conversation again, just to have some relief in knowing what happened to what could have been. But then I would feel, again, worse and worse about not being able to be part of the story. Believe me, life is full of "what ifs". It only hurts the more you think about it. ...And the sad truth is that there's nothing you can do, so the pain becomes pointless. | ||
Thereisnosaurus
Australia1822 Posts
And to OP: Congrats, you have a wonderful friend and someone who trusts you enough that you can help them and support them. That is a rare enough opportunity that you should honour it for what it is. We don't all get to have a one on one intimacy with every beautiful person we meet. Don't covet her attention, just enjoy it when it comes and encourage it to continue without demanding it. Lovers come and go, but friends are friends forever. | ||
Raz0r
United States287 Posts
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Gummy
United States2180 Posts
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Djagulingu
Germany3605 Posts
After that, if you decide that you want her, you should get her and die trying (I am pretty sure you can do it but I still don't know). Thing is, she wants to be with you too, but she is so undecided and doubtful about it. It is YOU who has to give her confidence about it and show that you want her despite everything. I'll be straight forward, this will be the hardest thing in your lifetime. If you decide that you don't want her after all these things, you have to move on and stop bugging her. After that, it's up to you whether you want to stay friends with her or completely remove her out of your life after you move on, but first, you have to move on. I had a similar decision in my hand, for the love of my lifetime, and I chose my path. You have a similar decision in your hand and you can choose only one of two paths. I'd say, choose wisely. | ||
Deleted User 101379
4849 Posts
You had your chance, you messed up and there is no "undo and retry" in life. She has someone else and you try to actively destroy her relationship and in the long term make her sad by saying that her husband is bad and shouldn't have her. You are jealous, and jealousy is the most destructive of all feelings. Be happy for her that she has someone she loves enough to have a child with him, don't try to destroy it. Find someone else you can be that happy with. | ||
DivinO
United States4796 Posts
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3FFA
United States3931 Posts
edit: This is honestly what I tell myself whenever I'm crying about something instead of either 1) doing something about it or 2) Moving on like a pro. | ||
Kickboxer
Slovenia1308 Posts
10% insanely hot. 10% extremely nice. 10% intelligent and fun. This cannot be stressed enough. | ||
Existential
Australia2107 Posts
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TheWarbler
United States1659 Posts
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Deleted User 101379
4849 Posts
On July 20 2011 20:34 TheWarbler wrote: Man I am starting to understand why Chill hates these blogs so much, After you see enough them. Well, there are fun ones and there are bad ones... | ||
Zorkmid
4410 Posts
Well done! You should send that military guy a thank-you card. | ||
OpticalShot
Canada6330 Posts
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TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
YOU WIN Some other loser is now stuck with a child that is not his own and another one on the way. He doesn't even get a honeymoon phase in his marriage - it's just straight to work. Who knows what kind of horrific things will happen if he is ever shipped out? This girl will probably latch onto some other sucker. I get that you used to care about her, but trust me, you are better off. | ||
Raisauce
Canada864 Posts
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Dapper_Cad
United Kingdom964 Posts
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ComaDose
Canada10349 Posts
And it amplifies if it was a two way vcard exchange. | ||
iCCup.Nove
United States260 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On July 20 2011 17:11 MrBitter wrote: 13!? Jesus kids are starting young these days.... Isn't he same age as you? It's not these days. He was doing all that playalisticadillac in YOUR day. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 00:30 iCCup.Nove wrote: If you were the father of one of those children you would not be feeling this way. Sounds like you just need to meet other girls. I agree with this to a certain extent. The problem is that I've met quite a few girls. (I don't want to refer to myself as a man-whore, but rather a man that finds stuff quickly) Since her I've had 3 girlfriends, and before that 11. I've slept with 15 girls and still none of them can beat that with this girl. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 00:09 Raisauce wrote: I don't think it's wrong on the guys end to mess around with a girl whose in a relationship. It's her fault. In this case though, children are involved so if I were you I would stay away. Don't be a legit homewrecker brah. Yeah, it's weird because I'm at the age now where marriage is a serious topic of conversation for some people. I'm not used to marriage. To me, marriage is something you don't rush in to and you do it for love...not money etc | ||
StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On July 21 2011 04:13 ranshaked wrote: Yeah, it's weird because I'm at the age now where marriage is a serious topic of conversation for some people. I'm not used to marriage. To me, marriage is something you don't rush in to and you do it for love...not money etc Love doesn't last long when you're in poverty. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 04:15 StorkHwaiting wrote: Love doesn't last long when you're in poverty. No I understand that completely, but to get married based on the sole idea that you will get 30% more because your husband would be in the military makes absolutely no sense to me. Especially since money is still a clear issue in their relationship. He was mad at her for spending 80$ on her and her son for a 19 hour flight. | ||
ILOVEKITTENS
Korea (South)112 Posts
1. Why would you want to be with a woman who has married twice and has two kids from two different men in her relatively short life? Regardless of how good of a person she may be (which I am sure that you are not completely certain of, considering how you have mostly been stalking her and pouring your feelings out to her), I doubt she has the best judgment skills in the world. Of course I could be completely wrong, for example if her first husband died in a car accident or something of the like, in which case I apologize and retract my statement. Something tells me that this is not the case however. 2. You are telling a woman who has most likely gone through a divorce, is emotionally vulnerable during her pregnancy, has monetary issues, and is married to a military man which means she most likely won't see him often and is most likely distraught about that as well that her life with you will be better. How about we dump some more emotional turmoil on her? I mean, how can it imaginably get any worse? Sure people could die, but let's be realistic here. You just come off as a hugely immature and insensitive person for thinking that your puppy-love fantasies have a place in her life right now. Even if she may agree with you (which could be just to get you off her back, by the way), there is nothing that can be done, so why wave the bread in front of a starving man's face if you don't plan on giving it to him? If I were her, I'd just tell you to fuck off. As an aside, I want to say that I am not intentionally being mean. I just can't help but be judgmental of someone who is kicking a kitten for example. Same concept applies here, although of more emotionally troubling proportions (and this is coming from a guy named ILOVEKITTENS). I know you already said you feel selfish, but I doubt you feel guilty. Maybe some guilt will make you see the truth. 3. You are clearly emotionally unstable yourself. Who in their right mind stalks a girl who he had a romantic encounter with when you were 13? I understand that there might be an air of destiny or true love surrounding the sensual impact that is the loss of virginity. But you must understand that this is all an illusion, and you have made it evident that you are too taken by the flight of fancy to be the man she really needs right now. Someone who can provide for her financially would be nice, but someone who can raise a child and take care of a pregnant woman carrying another, then raise that one as well? You yourself admitted that this was not something you are capable of handling. As such, you have absolutely no place to judge her current relationship or situation. However, there is something good to say about this situation: LEARN FROM IT. It's your job now to analyze the situation fully and extract whatever information you can that will benefit your life. 1. Everyone knows that raising children is tough. Now you know that you are not prepared for it. This is pretty big. 2. You see how encumbered she is by her life choice. Inversely, you are free to entertain thoughts of getting together with her, even have the capacity to get upset about it being an impossibility. You are FREE. Go enjoy your freedom and stop moping about yesteryear. 3. Your failures have driven you into a pit of despair. The best remedy? Trying to achieve the unattainable is not it. Trying to go out, HAVE FUN, and meet some new fucking girls. Maybe your previous relationships failed due to your short-comings, or due to the short-comings of others, but that is the past. It is your duty to yourself to take a deep breath, check in your baggage, and move the fuck on. Men who live in the past will never fully grasp the beauty and opportunity of today. You have to go and talk to real people, right now. The chance that she is the perfect woman for you in the world is roughly one out of 3.5 billion, statistically. And that's if you ignore all the surrounding nonsense, which makes it seem more like 0. The chance that there is someone better for you out there is significantly higher. 4. You need to grow up a little and not let your emotions rule your mind. The person who retains the most control over his mind and heart at once is wise and would not be swept away by dreams of long-lost love. You are also not an old lonely man, nostalgic over his youth lost. On that note, best of luck with improving yourself! FIGHTING! | ||
diarsenic
United States385 Posts
On July 21 2011 04:12 ranshaked wrote: I agree with this to a certain extent. The problem is that I've met quite a few girls. (I don't want to refer to myself as a man-whore, but rather a man that finds stuff quickly) Since her I've had 3 girlfriends, and before that 11. I've slept with 15 girls and still none of them can beat that with this girl. u've had 11 girlfriends before you were 13 years old? ._______. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:00 ILOVEKITTENS wrote: I heard everything I needed to when you said that you had gone through many failed relationships in the past 2 years. Guess what, most men in this world have. You fail every relationship until the one that leads to marriage. At this point you probably feel lonely, depressed, and emotional. Because of that you are more likely to let your feelings fly down what is really a relatively pathetic pipe-dream. Even if you disagree with me, it's painfully obvious that it is unhealthy for you to mope about it any longer than you have, considering she is married and has kids, regardless of how much better you think you would be for her. In order to fully convince you of why this is a terrible idea, even beyond that: 1. Why would you want to be with a woman who has married twice and has two kids from two different men in her relatively short life? Regardless of how good of a person she may be (which I am sure that you are not completely certain of, considering how you have mostly been stalking her and pouring your feelings out to her), I doubt she has the best judgment skills in the world. Of course I could be completely wrong, for example if her first husband died in a car accident or something of the like, in which case I apologize and retract my statement. Something tells me that this is not the case however. 2. You are telling a woman who has most likely gone through a divorce, is emotionally vulnerable during her pregnancy, has monetary issues, and is married to a military man which means she most likely won't see him often and is most likely distraught about that as well that her life with you will be better. How about we dump some more emotional turmoil on her? I mean, how can it imaginably get any worse? Sure people could die, but let's be realistic here. You just come off as a hugely immature and insensitive person for thinking that your puppy-love fantasies have a place in her life right now. Even if she may agree with you (which could be just to get you off her back, by the way), there is nothing that can be done, so why wave the bread in front of a starving man's face if you don't plan on giving it to him? If I were her, I'd just tell you to fuck off. As an aside, I want to say that I am not intentionally being mean. I just can't help but be judgmental of someone who is kicking a kitten for example. Same concept applies here, although of more emotionally troubling proportions (and this is coming from a guy named ILOVEKITTENS). I know you already said you feel selfish, but I doubt you feel guilty. Maybe some guilt will make you see the truth. 3. You are clearly emotionally unstable yourself. Who in their right mind stalks a girl who he had a romantic encounter with when you were 13? I understand that there might be an air of destiny or true love surrounding the sensual impact that is the loss of virginity. But you must understand that this is all an illusion, and you have made it evident that you are too taken by the flight of fancy to be the man she really needs right now. Someone who can provide for her financially would be nice, but someone who can raise a child and take care of a pregnant woman carrying another, then raise that one as well? You yourself admitted that this was not something you are capable of handling. As such, you have absolutely no place to judge her current relationship or situation. However, there is something good to say about this situation: LEARN FROM IT. It's your job now to analyze the situation fully and extract whatever information you can that will benefit your life. 1. Everyone knows that raising children is tough. Now you know that you are not prepared for it. This is pretty big. 2. You see how encumbered she is by her life choice. Inversely, you are free to entertain thoughts of getting together with her, even have the capacity to get upset about it being an impossibility. You are FREE. Go enjoy your freedom and stop moping about yesteryear. 3. Your failures have driven you into a pit of despair. The best remedy? Trying to achieve the unattainable is not it. Trying to go out, HAVE FUN, and meet some new fucking girls. Maybe your previous relationships failed due to your short-comings, or due to the short-comings of others, but that is the past. It is your duty to yourself to take a deep breath, check in your baggage, and move the fuck on. Men who live in the past will never fully grasp the beauty and opportunity of today. You have to go and talk to real people, right now. The chance that she is the perfect woman for you in the world is roughly one out of 3.5 billion, statistically. And that's if you ignore all the surrounding nonsense, which makes it seem more like 0. The chance that there is someone better for you out there is significantly higher. 4. You need to grow up a little and not let your emotions rule your mind. The person who retains the most control over his mind and heart at once is wise and would not be swept away by dreams of long-lost love. You are also not an old lonely man, nostalgic over his youth lost. On that note, best of luck with improving yourself! FIGHTING! Several things, firstly thank you for the honest post. Second, she reached out to me on twitter. I never reached out to her. I'd occasionally lurk her facebook to see how she was doing, but I never had the balls to reach out in fear of ruining her relationship. She came to me, which is why I automatically assumed that something was wrong. Lastly, I do have fun. I'm an extrovert. I'm outgoing and I know everyone, but that doesn't mean I'm not lonely or upset. I go to clubs, I go to bars, I do things on a daily basis. I have a healthy job and a sex life (for the most part), but for some odd reason this one girl is able to break it all down in one night. There are a lot of people in the world and I meet many on a daily basis, but I still never feel the same. Thank you again though. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:09 diarsenic wrote: u've had 11 girlfriends before you were 13 years old? ._______. Eek, I misconstrued that a little bit. I dated her when I was 13 and lost my virginity (we both did), and then I had slept with 11 different girls since I was 13 up until I rekindled my relationship with her at 19. Since we broke up, I've been with 3 women. So In total it should be 15. | ||
diarsenic
United States385 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:12 ranshaked wrote: Eek, I misconstrued that a little bit. I dated her when I was 13 and lost my virginity (we both did), and then I had slept with 11 different girls since I was 13 up until I rekindled my relationship with her at 19. Since we broke up, I've been with 3 women. So In total it should be 15. Ok that makes sense haha | ||
SarR
476 Posts
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edc
United States666 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:17 edc wrote: I genuinely feel very bad for you, as it must feel terrible in your heart (literally) after what you've went through. I don't know if the woman divorcing her husband would be possible, and it seems too late to do anything since she has two children. All I can say is move on. You may think she is the best woman in the world, and to you it may be true for the rest of your life, but there are plenty of others you can love. It's so strange that 2 years ago I ended the relationship because I was worried about raising a child that was not mine, but after turning 22 and realizing it's life I wish I could have changed it, but now it's just silly to even think about having her. Thank you. | ||
edc
United States666 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:20 ranshaked wrote: It's so strange that 2 years ago I ended the relationship because I was worried about raising a child that was not mine, but after turning 22 and realizing it's life I wish I could have changed it, but now it's just silly to even think about having her. Thank you. So are you telling me that I am the one person who changed your mind? You weren't convinced with ILOVEKITTENS' extremely long and well-thought advice (I completely agree with ILK, and I myself adore kittens and cats and animals in general)! Glad to help, sir, and good luck with your future love life! | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 21 2011 05:25 edc wrote: So are you telling me that I am the one person who changed your mind? You weren't convinced with ILOVEKITTENS' extremely long and well-thought advice (I completely agree with ILK, and I myself adore kittens and cats and animals in general)! Glad to help, sir, and good luck with your future love life! hah, no ilk definitely helped. I just replied in that manner to you. | ||
Chilling5pr33
Germany518 Posts
If you raise kids you influence them quite a lot i dont believe that genetics are THAT importand. I know this sounds silly but if you really love her just think about it. 1. Is it possible (move together/pay for you both lifes...) 2. Dont you just want to have fun, and someone who understands you? 3. Do you think she isnt happy in this situation she is in, and are you able to change that. 4. Arent you just another dude she trys to Love? If so, you should not care about the other guy or anything else just put all you effort in this but be fkkn serious and dont dream about some miracles happen... | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
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ILOVEKITTENS
Korea (South)112 Posts
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mizU
United States12125 Posts
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talleyhooo
19 Posts
Stay away from her like the plague man. Go find someone fresh and new. Without kids or a husband. Maybe a little more mentally balanced. | ||
StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On July 21 2011 11:05 ranshaked wrote: Update: She just called me twice. I did not pick up. I don't know where ur at in terms of maturity, but there is nothing wrong with marrying someone who has 2 children. While I know in terms of the male ego it doesn't sound very flattering, I actually have a really nice neighbor who's a dermatologist. He was 28 when he married a woman of 33 with 3 children from a previous marriage. They've been together for over 20 years now and their kids grew up fine, he had 2 more kids with her, they live in a nice big house, and they get along great as far as I can see. He wasn't a loser or deadbeat or anything like that. He was a young, handsome dermatologist. Pretty sure he had plenty of women beating down his door for a ring. If you love her, and your feelings have a good foundation, there's no reason not to explore it. THe fact she's married is a little unsettling, but tbh, people make mistakes. Shit happens. Don't listen to crap from kids who haven't even lived it who say stuff like once a cheater always a cheater. It's NOT true. I've seen all kinds of stories under the sun. People who left their husband to be with another guy, but are still together 40 years later. People who had shotgun weddings but the marriage ended up being rock solid. There is no science when it comes to relationships. There is no way to know. You can try to be logical about it, but sadly enough, it just doesn't seem to apply when it comes to human relations. | ||
Slaughter
United States20250 Posts
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FlydRaLiSK
Canada110 Posts
User was banned for this post. | ||
lovemusicpassionxx
United States1 Post
On July 21 2011 14:48 FlydRaLiSK wrote: i had a similar problem but he was a young negro boy with a beautifully toned body but the thing is he isnt gay and i am so it didnt really work out but nowadays i stalk him online and talk to him on the phone for 7 hours he tries to hang up but i dont let him i really love him i dont want to move on i just really like boys Wow. You have no idea how much your post just meant to me. im also gay and i had such a similar experience when i was in high school. omg.. just thinking about it makes me tear up inside. I met this guy and we started hanging out a lot after school and one day he told me he liked me.. but the thing is he was just joking. the next day we hung out and he called me a faggot and said he never wanted to see me again. it felt like everything i cared about was coming to a crashing end.. i had so many hopes with this guy. that night i tried to commit suicide but ended up only injuring myself and i haven't been able to get close with anyone since then. i'm too scared of being rejected again okay i have to stop talking about this its making me too depressed To the original poster: i dont wat you to end up so sad and lonely like me!! don't worry if your soul mate is married or even has children! You just have to follow what is in your heart and never stop fighting until the end. When she calls pick up the phone! it shows yiou care about her and the fact that she even calls you shows that chances r she feels the asme way about u! you just have to keep trying and eventually you will win her out! dont listen to the cynics in this chat, who tell you to give up. if you give up YOU WILL ALAWYS HAVE THE QUESTION OF "WHAT IF I..?" AND YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO LIVE WITH YOURSELF. you HAVE TO go out and take whats yours! i just really relate to tragic stories like this and don't want anyone to make the same mistakes i have made! if you need to talk to me more you can pm me! I really want to help you out. things could be much worse man. at least she still talks to you and still cares about you!! you guys lost your virginity to each other, and that is a magical moment she will never be able to share with anyone else. you two soul mates will be connected to each other for ever. please keep me updated on the status of your relationship!! i was brought to tears multiple times reading your posts you have no idea how connected i am to this! | ||
KurtistheTurtle
United States1966 Posts
and if its outside your control, stop worrying about it. seriously. dont burn yourself out | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 22 2011 03:02 Djzapz wrote: Ladies getting knocked everywhere! Seriously, at least 8 of my ex's have kids now. I'm like that damn good luck chuck movie. | ||
TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
On July 22 2011 03:05 ranshaked wrote: Seriously, at least 8 of my ex's have kids now. I'm like that damn good luck chuck movie. Either that or you're from a very trash part of town. You're probably mostly bad luck, since having a child too young is generally a life sentence; and now you've created 8 Casey Anthonys (the penultimate example of regretting early motherhood). You personally have good luck because you're escaping from these crap situations and are able to live your life to the fullest before making a well-timed, mature transition into being a father. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 22 2011 03:18 TheGiz wrote: Either that or you're from a very trash part of town. You're probably mostly bad luck, since having a child too young is generally a life sentence; and now you've created 8 Casey Anthonys (the penultimate example of regretting early motherhood). You personally have good luck because you're escaping from these crap situations and are able to live your life to the fullest before making a well-timed, mature transition into being a father. well, partially the trash/hood part. The other part is just my poor judgments when dating females ;X I typically end up dating a spanish girl with tattoos and a loud attitude. It's hard to explain, but I just fit in with that crowd. | ||
TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
On July 22 2011 03:24 ranshaked wrote: The other part is just my poor judgments when dating females. I typically end up dating a spanish girl with tattoos and a loud attitude. It's hard to explain, but I just fit in with that crowd. I was going to say that it's also probably your dating habits, too. I was right. I'm merely going to say that I would not fit in with that same crowd... | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On July 22 2011 03:36 TheGiz wrote: I was going to say that it's also probably your dating habits, too. I was right. I'm merely going to say that I would not fit in with that same crowd... I'm pretty white and they all have nicknames for me. It's the way I was brought up. I'm used to different cultures. | ||
OmniEulogy
Canada6588 Posts
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mesohawny
Canada193 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
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Lysanias
Netherlands8351 Posts
On July 24 2011 06:40 ranshaked wrote: Update: I've been banned so I couldn't post but we talked a few more times and we both realized that she needs to stay with him and we need to stop talking. It was too easy for us to start acting cute and having fun on the phone. So as of right now we are just gonna talk if something serious comes up. It sucks but it had to be done You will feel good about that choice after a while it's the correct one, don't look back but look ahead. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
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Djzapz
Canada10681 Posts
On August 25 2011 07:17 ranshaked wrote: she will be loving close to me soon Freudian slip I see! | ||
Stratos_speAr
United States6959 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:24 ranshaked wrote: When I was 13 I lost my virginity to the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my entire 22 year life. We lost contact for 6 years, but when I was 19 we rekindled our relationship. With this, I learned she had a child with a man, which in turn led us to a 1 year relationship (long distance.) It was beautiful; yet she had a child and it was getting serious. Quite frankly I wasn't ready for it and we broke it off. Several weeks later she had found a new man and quickly got married. He was in the military and it was best for her and her child. Nonetheless, this evening we spoke for 4 hours on telephone. She currently lives in Hawaii with another child on the way. It was amazing, but I know in my hear it was wrong. I told her everything I had ever wanted to say; but in the end...she's married with a child on the way. I'm not quite sure exactly how to handle this. There's an odd connection between the two of us that never fades, but we always make due with the most awkward situations possible. She understands me. I understand her. It is why she came to me. I miss her. I think a lot of people experience this with someone that they have a serious relationship with, especially if you ended the relationship on not-so-terrible terms. The fact is that for most of these situations, you need to accept that what you had was amazing, but you can't just have it back again. Things are too different, you guys are going different directions, there are very complicated variables in play that weren't there when you were together. | ||
Knap4life
Slovenia333 Posts
On July 20 2011 16:24 ranshaked wrote: When I was 13 I lost my virginity to the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my entire 22 year life. We lost contact for 6 years, but when I was 19 we rekindled our relationship. With this, I learned she had a child with a man, which in turn led us to a 1 year relationship (long distance.) It was beautiful; yet she had a child and it was getting serious. Quite frankly I wasn't ready for it and we broke it off. Several weeks later she had found a new man and quickly got married. He was in the military and it was best for her and her child. Nonetheless, this evening we spoke for 4 hours on telephone. She currently lives in Hawaii with another child on the way. It was amazing, but I know in my hear it was wrong. I told her everything I had ever wanted to say; but in the end...she's married with a child on the way. I'm not quite sure exactly how to handle this. There's an odd connection between the two of us that never fades, but we always make due with the most awkward situations possible. She understands me. I understand her. It is why she came to me. I miss her. Wow at 13? That is very young , a bit to young if you ask me. Kinda wrong to be honest. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
iPhone auto correct lol | ||
StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
On August 25 2011 07:17 ranshaked wrote: Update: it's been a month and a lot has happened. We stopped talking until last week. It turns out he was talking to his ex and he filed for a divorce. He also wanted to abort the baby but he wouldn't do it. She has moved back to her parents home. She is moving with her parents to Orlando. I am now talking to her as strictly friends but she will be loving close to me soon You live in Orlando, ranshaked? | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
yes | ||
Iceman331
United States1306 Posts
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StorkHwaiting
United States3465 Posts
Wewt, me too! Lol lots of crazy Latino girls. Where abouts you live at? I'm in Dr. Phillips area. | ||
TheGiz
Canada708 Posts
NEVER START ANYTHING WITH A WOMAN WITH KIDS You're too young for it to even be remotely justified. It's even worse because she's your ex. Just stop talking to her, even as friends. She's like a walking unhappiness machine: kids, divorce, etc. P.S. Update the OP for newer readers of this thread. It's just good practice. | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
Her divorce is finalized etc. We are meeting up this evening with my friends. As of right now...We are just friends. I figured I'd add some closure to this blog from many months ago <3 | ||
Dalguno
United States2446 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On March 07 2012 11:48 Dalguno wrote: You have no idea how hard it is to not do what I want to do because I know what I want to do is bad, but if I don't do what I want to do and just don't do it...I'll never do it.You know what to do. FEEL ME? hah | ||
dtz
5834 Posts
On March 07 2012 11:46 ranshaked wrote: I am bumping this because she has officially moved to Orlando (where I live----With her parents) Her divorce is finalized etc. We are meeting up this evening with my friends. As of right now...We are just friends. I figured I'd add some closure to this blog from many months ago <3 This is more cliffhanger than closure... but good luck , we all hope whatever you do next will be for the best | ||
ranshaked
United States870 Posts
Everything appeared to be great. Her kids turned out to be a really great experience. I learned a lot about being an adult over the course of only 6 months! We had a great day today, and then I received a text message saying that she hasn't felt the same in a few months, and that she needed to enjoy being alone for once. It's the last time I'll probably ever speak or see her, but in a strange way it's a sigh of relief. I tried really hard to hold it all together, and I did a lot for her. In a way, all I ever wanted to do was to welcome her to town and help her with the kids. She isn't a bad person, but I guess I'm just not the guy for her. Again, thank you guys. Signing off for the last time. It's been real. | ||
Shady Sands
United States4021 Posts
On October 17 2012 15:43 ranshaked wrote: I know this is an insane bump from March, but I wanted you to know that we had a great 6 month run. I wanted to thank you all for the advice once again, but unfortunately I had gotten back together with her. Everything appeared to be great. Her kids turned out to be a really great experience. I learned a lot about being an adult over the course of only 6 months! We had a great day today, and then I received a text message saying that she hasn't felt the same in a few months, and that she needed to enjoy being alone for once. It's the last time I'll probably ever speak or see her, but in a strange way it's a sigh of relief. I tried really hard to hold it all together, and I did a lot for her. In a way, all I ever wanted to do was to welcome her to town and help her with the kids. She isn't a bad person, but I guess I'm just not the guy for her. Again, thank you guys. Signing off for the last time. It's been real. Your story reminds me of the above MV, minus the prison part | ||
bonifaceviii
Canada2890 Posts
An oft-repeated story indeed. | ||
QuanticHawk
United States32013 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
On October 17 2012 22:33 QuanticHawk wrote: and now what did you learn from this experience mr. op 1) Give everything you've got into a relationship because at least you'll know you tried 2) Love unconditionally (reasonable---not exact) 3) Never date someone that has kids. In an odd way you become attached to the children, especially if you've never experienced watching them grow up. It was amazing to see her youngest son go from being so small to walking. And lastly, 4) Take the good from the relationship, not the bad. I quit smoking and I got on a healthy diet because of this relationship, and I hope to continue them both. | ||
QuanticHawk
United States32013 Posts
I would disagree about the kid thing, but whatever. The rest is spot on. Good luck in the future op! | ||
ohsea.toc
Australia344 Posts
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ranshaked
United States870 Posts
Unfortunately I unblocked her on facebook, and I noticed something peculiar. She had a new boyfriend. Now after some investigating, I've come to the conclusion that she was cheating on me. I am currently distraught, and I honestly don't know what to do. I was perfectly comfortable with her being on her own, but now I feel used. | ||
FractalsOnFire
Australia1756 Posts
Find someone else. | ||
Aerisky
United States12128 Posts
It's okay...I guess you did end up benefiting from the relationship yourself. Try to move past it if you can at all >< | ||
Shady Sands
United States4021 Posts
On November 02 2012 17:11 FractalsOnFire wrote: No be glad you gtfo of that relationship and you haven't wasted an extra second on her. Find someone else. Also be happy you didn't end up on Maury's trying to prove that you are not the father | ||
Greenstripe
United States164 Posts
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