I spoke with my ex gf this evening for 4 hours...

On July 20 2011 16:29 SaRrAceN wrote:
Now gogogo poke the baby's head.

On July 20 2011 16:32 krndandaman wrote:
wait, what...?
i dont mean to sound judgmental or anything but i just can't help feel that this isn't going to turn out well for both parties

On July 20 2011 16:36 Venus.exe wrote:
Google "twin flames". It's kind of like a soul mate but it's basically your other "half" who makes you a whole and you can wait for your partner despite what situation he/she maybe in because the relationship is just so much bigger than anything humanly. It's a mystic concept so I would say take it with a grain of salt.

On July 20 2011 16:38 Artifice wrote:
The whole "Lets get married right fuckin' now because I'm in the military and this won't work out otherwise" thing seems really silly to me. It doesn't seem to work out often in my experience. So maybe hold out for that? But that doesn't sound smart either. Really if she meant that much to you, you shouldn't have given up on it when you were 19, even if she did have a kid. Shitty situation for sure :|

On July 20 2011 16:46 Gamegene wrote:
Move on man and meet someone better.

Believe me when I say that it only hurts your fragile heart more and more as you think about lost love more and more.

On July 20 2011 16:49 ranshaked wrote:

It's frustrating because for 2 years I've lurked on occasion her facebook and other things just to never get the balls up to actually talk to her, and then she follows me on twitter and the next day we have a 4 hour conversation about everything. I hate how poorly this guy is treating her. But she's basically stuck. She refuses to have another child to a man that will not be with her for life. I should have been that man, but I had been to afraid to accept it.

On July 20 2011 17:04 arb wrote:
just leave her and her family alone, shit.

she has 2 kids. dont tear up a happy home

On July 20 2011 17:04 Zapdos_Smithh wrote:
Are we supposed to be impressed by 4 hours or something?

On July 20 2011 16:24 ranshaked wrote:
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my entire 22 year life. We lost contact for 6 years, but when I was 19 we rekindled our relationship. With this, I learned she had a child with a man, which in turn led us to a 1 year relationship (long distance.) It was beautiful; yet she had a child and it was getting serious. Quite frankly I wasn't ready for it and we broke it off. Several weeks later she had found a new man and quickly got married. He was in the military and it was best for her and her child. Nonetheless, this evening we spoke for 4 hours on telephone. She currently lives in Hawaii with another child on the way. It was amazing, but I know in my hear it was wrong. I told her everything I had ever wanted to say; but in the end...she's married with a child on the way. I'm not quite sure exactly how to handle this. There's an odd connection between the two of us that never fades, but we always make due with the most awkward situations possible. She understands me. I understand her. It is why she came to me.
I miss her.

On July 20 2011 16:49 ranshaked wrote:
It's frustrating because for 2 years I've lurked on occasion her facebook and other things just to never get the balls up to actually talk to her, and then she follows me on twitter and the next day we have a 4 hour conversation about everything. I hate how poorly this guy is treating her. But she's basically stuck. She refuses to have another child to a man that will not be with her for life. I should have been that man, but I had been to afraid to accept it.

On July 20 2011 17:11 MrBitter wrote:


13!?

Jesus kids are starting young these days....

On July 21 2011 00:30 iCCup.Nove wrote:
If you were the father of one of those children you would not be feeling this way. Sounds like you just need to meet other girls.

On July 21 2011 00:09 Raisauce wrote:
I don't think it's wrong on the guys end to mess around with a girl whose in a relationship. It's her fault. In this case though, children are involved so if I were you I would stay away. Don't be a legit homewrecker brah.

On July 21 2011 04:13 ranshaked wrote:

Yeah, it's weird because I'm at the age now where marriage is a serious topic of conversation for some people. I'm not used to marriage. To me, marriage is something you don't rush in to and you do it for love...not money etc

On July 21 2011 04:15 StorkHwaiting wrote:


Love doesn't last long when you're in poverty.

On July 21 2011 04:12 ranshaked wrote:

I agree with this to a certain extent. The problem is that I've met quite a few girls. (I don't want to refer to myself as a man-whore, but rather a man that finds stuff quickly) Since her I've had 3 girlfriends, and before that 11. I've slept with 15 girls and still none of them can beat that with this girl.

On July 21 2011 05:00 ILOVEKITTENS wrote:
I heard everything I needed to when you said that you had gone through many failed relationships in the past 2 years. Guess what, most men in this world have. You fail every relationship until the one that leads to marriage. At this point you probably feel lonely, depressed, and emotional. Because of that you are more likely to let your feelings fly down what is really a relatively pathetic pipe-dream. Even if you disagree with me, it's painfully obvious that it is unhealthy for you to mope about it any longer than you have, considering she is married and has kids, regardless of how much better you think you would be for her. In order to fully convince you of why this is a terrible idea, even beyond that:

1. Why would you want to be with a woman who has married twice and has two kids from two different men in her relatively short life? Regardless of how good of a person she may be (which I am sure that you are not completely certain of, considering how you have mostly been stalking her and pouring your feelings out to her), I doubt she has the best judgment skills in the world. Of course I could be completely wrong, for example if her first husband died in a car accident or something of the like, in which case I apologize and retract my statement. Something tells me that this is not the case however.

2. You are telling a woman who has most likely gone through a divorce, is emotionally vulnerable during her pregnancy, has monetary issues, and is married to a military man which means she most likely won't see him often and is most likely distraught about that as well that her life with you will be better. How about we dump some more emotional turmoil on her? I mean, how can it imaginably get any worse? Sure people could die, but let's be realistic here. You just come off as a hugely immature and insensitive person for thinking that your puppy-love fantasies have a place in her life right now. Even if she may agree with you (which could be just to get you off her back, by the way), there is nothing that can be done, so why wave the bread in front of a starving man's face if you don't plan on giving it to him? If I were her, I'd just tell you to fuck off. As an aside, I want to say that I am not intentionally being mean. I just can't help but be judgmental of someone who is kicking a kitten for example. Same concept applies here, although of more emotionally troubling proportions (and this is coming from a guy named ILOVEKITTENS). I know you already said you feel selfish, but I doubt you feel guilty. Maybe some guilt will make you see the truth.

3. You are clearly emotionally unstable yourself. Who in their right mind stalks a girl who he had a romantic encounter with when you were 13? I understand that there might be an air of destiny or true love surrounding the sensual impact that is the loss of virginity. But you must understand that this is all an illusion, and you have made it evident that you are too taken by the flight of fancy to be the man she really needs right now. Someone who can provide for her financially would be nice, but someone who can raise a child and take care of a pregnant woman carrying another, then raise that one as well? You yourself admitted that this was not something you are capable of handling. As such, you have absolutely no place to judge her current relationship or situation.

However, there is something good to say about this situation: LEARN FROM IT.

It's your job now to analyze the situation fully and extract whatever information you can that will benefit your life.

1. Everyone knows that raising children is tough. Now you know that you are not prepared for it. This is pretty big.

2. You see how encumbered she is by her life choice. Inversely, you are free to entertain thoughts of getting together with her, even have the capacity to get upset about it being an impossibility. You are FREE. Go enjoy your freedom and stop moping about yesteryear.

3. Your failures have driven you into a pit of despair. The best remedy? Trying to achieve the unattainable is not it. Trying to go out, HAVE FUN, and meet some new fucking girls. Maybe your previous relationships failed due to your short-comings, or due to the short-comings of others, but that is the past. It is your duty to yourself to take a deep breath, check in your baggage, and move the fuck on. Men who live in the past will never fully grasp the beauty and opportunity of today. You have to go and talk to real people, right now. The chance that she is the perfect woman for you in the world is roughly one out of 3.5 billion, statistically. And that's if you ignore all the surrounding nonsense, which makes it seem more like 0. The chance that there is someone better for you out there is significantly higher.

4. You need to grow up a little and not let your emotions rule your mind. The person who retains the most control over his mind and heart at once is wise and would not be swept away by dreams of long-lost love. You are also not an old lonely man, nostalgic over his youth lost.

On that note, best of luck with improving yourself! FIGHTING!

On July 21 2011 05:09 diarsenic wrote:


u've had 11 girlfriends before you were 13 years old?

._______.

On July 21 2011 05:12 ranshaked wrote:

Eek, I misconstrued that a little bit. I dated her when I was 13 and lost my virginity (we both did), and then I had slept with 11 different girls since I was 13 up until I rekindled my relationship with her at 19. Since we broke up, I've been with 3 women. So In total it should be 15.

On July 21 2011 05:17 edc wrote:
I genuinely feel very bad for you, as it must feel terrible in your heart (literally) after what you've went through. I don't know if the woman divorcing her husband would be possible, and it seems too late to do anything since she has two children. All I can say is move on. You may think she is the best woman in the world, and to you it may be true for the rest of your life, but there are plenty of others you can love.

On July 21 2011 05:20 ranshaked wrote:

It's so strange that 2 years ago I ended the relationship because I was worried about raising a child that was not mine, but after turning 22 and realizing it's life I wish I could have changed it, but now it's just silly to even think about having her. Thank you.

On July 21 2011 05:25 edc wrote:

So are you telling me that I am the one person who changed your mind? You weren't convinced with ILOVEKITTENS' extremely long and well-thought advice (I completely agree with ILK, and I myself adore kittens and cats and animals in general)! Glad to help, sir, and good luck with your future love life!

On July 21 2011 11:05 ranshaked wrote:
Update: She just called me twice. I did not pick up.

On July 21 2011 14:48 FlydRaLiSK wrote:
i had a similar problem but he was a young negro boy with a beautifully toned body but the thing is he isnt gay and i am so it didnt really work out but nowadays i stalk him online and talk to him on the phone for 7 hours he tries to hang up but i dont let him i really love him i dont want to move on i just really like boys

On July 22 2011 03:02 Djzapz wrote:
Ladies getting knocked everywhere!

On July 22 2011 03:05 ranshaked wrote:
Seriously, at least 8 of my ex's have kids now. I'm like that damn good luck chuck movie.

On July 22 2011 03:18 TheGiz wrote:

Either that or you're from a very trash part of town.

---

You're probably mostly bad luck, since having a child too young is generally a life sentence; and now you've created 8 Casey Anthonys (the penultimate example of regretting early motherhood). You personally have good luck because you're escaping from these crap situations and are able to live your life to the fullest before making a well-timed, mature transition into being a father.

On July 22 2011 03:24 ranshaked wrote:
The other part is just my poor judgments when dating females. I typically end up dating a spanish girl with tattoos and a loud attitude. It's hard to explain, but I just fit in with that crowd.

On July 22 2011 03:36 TheGiz wrote:

I was going to say that it's also probably your dating habits, too. I was right.

I'm merely going to say that I would not fit in with that same crowd...

On July 24 2011 06:40 ranshaked wrote:
Update: I've been banned so I couldn't post but we talked a few more times and we both realized that she needs to stay with him and we need to stop talking. It was too easy for us to start acting cute and having fun on the phone. So as of right now we are just gonna talk if something serious comes up. It sucks but it had to be done

On August 25 2011 07:17 ranshaked wrote:
she will be loving close to me soon

On July 20 2011 16:24 ranshaked wrote:
When I was 13 I lost my virginity to the most wonderful girl I've ever met in my entire 22 year life. We lost contact for 6 years, but when I was 19 we rekindled our relationship. With this, I learned she had a child with a man, which in turn led us to a 1 year relationship (long distance.) It was beautiful; yet she had a child and it was getting serious. Quite frankly I wasn't ready for it and we broke it off. Several weeks later she had found a new man and quickly got married. He was in the military and it was best for her and her child. Nonetheless, this evening we spoke for 4 hours on telephone. She currently lives in Hawaii with another child on the way. It was amazing, but I know in my hear it was wrong. I told her everything I had ever wanted to say; but in the end...she's married with a child on the way. I'm not quite sure exactly how to handle this. There's an odd connection between the two of us that never fades, but we always make due with the most awkward situations possible. She understands me. I understand her. It is why she came to me.
I miss her.

On August 25 2011 07:26 Djzapz wrote:

Freudian slip I see!

On August 25 2011 07:17 ranshaked wrote:
Update: it's been a month and a lot has happened. We stopped talking until last week. It turns out he was talking to his ex and he filed for a divorce. He also wanted to abort the baby but he wouldn't do it. She has moved back to her parents home. She is moving with her parents to Orlando. I am now talking to her as strictly friends but she will be loving close to me soon

On August 25 2011 09:21 StorkHwaiting wrote:


You live in Orlando, ranshaked?

On August 26 2011 12:33 ranshaked wrote:

yes

On March 07 2012 11:48 Dalguno wrote:
You know what to do.

On March 07 2012 11:46 ranshaked wrote:
I am bumping this because she has officially moved to Orlando (where I live----With her parents)
Her divorce is finalized etc. We are meeting up this evening with my friends. As of right now...We are just friends.

I figured I'd add some closure to this blog from many months ago <3

On October 17 2012 15:43 ranshaked wrote:
I know this is an insane bump from March, but I wanted you to know that we had a great 6 month run. I wanted to thank you all for the advice once again, but unfortunately I had gotten back together with her.

Everything appeared to be great. Her kids turned out to be a really great experience. I learned a lot about being an adult over the course of only 6 months! We had a great day today, and then I received a text message saying that she hasn't felt the same in a few months, and that she needed to enjoy being alone for once. It's the last time I'll probably ever speak or see her, but in a strange way it's a sigh of relief. I tried really hard to hold it all together, and I did a lot for her. In a way, all I ever wanted to do was to welcome her to town and help her with the kids. She isn't a bad person, but I guess I'm just not the guy for her.

Again, thank you guys.

Signing off for the last time. It's been real.

On October 17 2012 22:33 QuanticHawk wrote:
and now what did you learn from this experience mr. op

On November 02 2012 17:11 FractalsOnFire wrote:
No be glad you gtfo of that relationship and you haven't wasted an extra second on her.

Find someone else.