|
This post serves the purpose to relieve myself of some of the stress I've had lately with girls, hope people will be bored enough to read it.
I don't really have big difficulties getting to know girls, I'm past the whole insecurity act, but that isn't what bothers me right now, just so you know, it will make my story a bit clearer. I'm also 19 years old.
There is this one girl whom I've met a couple of months ago and I've liked her since we first started talking, but she was one of those tricky girls that let's you chase after them forever. After a while when we'd gotten to know each other pretty good things started feeling really great between us, it almost felt like we were toghether already.
And after a while she started losing interest, and kept some distance and even if I've had a few months getting to know her, the behavior that time was different. I simply told myself at the time that she wasn't interested in me, and I backed off.
A week passes. And I feel restless, changing the setting on my brain not to think too much about it, or what her and I could've been. Me and some friends go out clubbing downtown, and over there I meet a girl that an old aquaintance introduced to me. I started dancing with her and it went from one thing to another, there was no sex that night but we kissed quite a lot. Apparently she gets my number from one of my friends who she accidently happens to know.
I start going out with this chick, and I took notice that she was REALLY in to me, and I think she seems really cool, she was the kind of girl I needed to get past my thoughts on the one I was in love with earlier. At first things seemed pale between me and this new girl, but we grew attached really fast, and I sort of let my self go for her, because she had everything you would want in a girl, hot, very unique personality and she was also rich(maybe less relevant but fun fact).
So I start to develop feelings for this girl, and I've gotten the advice to not get em in bed early if I want it to last, naturally I want someone I can be comfortable with and stay with, I'm not really the kind of guy to sleep around. But we were drunk one weekend and I was supposed to sleep at her place, and she was really drunk and we had sex. The morning after she seems really sad because she realized what she had done, and even though she was really in love with me she didn't wanna pursue the relationship. Which makes me feel terrible.
I find out some days after that the girl whom I liked first actually liked me too, and she had a lot of insecurity reasons for doing what she did back then, and here I am ignoring her for another girl only to get my heart broken by my impatience, and girl number one is aware of this now.
Both of these women were keepers, the kind of women you want to spend years with, and I knew this, but I still managed to lose both of them.
I feel torn up inside, life really dried me out this time.
Any words of motivation, TL? If you cared to read.
TL;DR - Rant about double heartbreak
|
u must have threesome with them
only solution here imo
User was warned for this post
|
On March 21 2011 09:22 baller wrote:
u must have threesome with them
only solution here imo
Why don't you take your unfunny shit elsewhere?
Also, I don't really understand why the second girl just blew everything off cause you had drunken sex? You should at least be able to talk to her about it.
|
Thats a really screwed up situation man. But you had no way of knowing about the first one's true intentions. There really wasn't too much you could have done differently. But at the same time like any other heartbreak you can overcome them from seeking happiness from an internal source. Not an external source like another person, or money. Believe me, when you can be happy for who you are you'll be happy knowing that eventually that the right one will come around some day and until then you're happy just the way you are. When you were just a little kid you didn't need women to be happy. Youn found happiness in the simplicities of life. Revert back to that, be happy for yourself and all the things youve suceeded on in life and you'll be proud of yourself and live a happy life. It may seem hard now but it always does and I know you'll make it through it. Best of wishes to you. 
|
On March 21 2011 09:22 baller wrote:
u must have threesome with them
only solution here imo
looool baller. really tho, just talk to the insecure girl and explain that you were really drunk and thats the only reason you had sex with the first girl. you know, be like, everyone has sex before they're 18 anyways, and i dont have any stds, so no biggie right?
|
I feel your pain  Miss perfect left me 3 days ago as she is going to the states and doesn't feel like she can commit - I threw up just after she told me, never felt this bad in my life. Girls really know how to gutter you!
I hope you will get over it soon! GL!
|
I recently had a similar experience as you. Only I'm going through your 5th paragraph currently. All that you can do is remember that you gave it a shot and it was her that was turning you down because of her own insecurities. It sucks but thats just how things go sometimes. The best thing you can do is talk to the girl you feel is the one for you and just give it one last shot.
Its really strange how similar your situation with the first girl is. I would give my story but I've been trying to stay away from thinking about it because I always feel like crap whenever I do.
I would say, think about what you want and what you think is best for you and give it a shot. Down the road when you look back on this you'll at least have the comfort knowing that you tried what you could do. You'll feel like crap right now but there isn't really anything you can do right now that wont make you feel like crap unless something happens when you give it one last shot.
Probably shouldn't bother listening to me though, considering I fail at even taking my own advice.
|
Ghostcom: I feel your pain Miss perfect left me 3 days ago as she is going to the states and doesn't feel like she can commit - I threw up just after she told me, never felt this bad in my life. Girls really know how to gutter you! I hope you will get over it soon! GL!
Best of wishes to you too man. Just remember it hurts now but you both will see the light at the end of the shrouds soon enough.
|
That's too bad, but you can find consolation in the fact that girl number one does indeed like you.
So go talk to her, tell her basically everything you said in your post. If shes really that into you can make it work. If not then at least you tried considering the fact.
good luck youngling
|
Its hard to tell which ones are the keepers, in NA. They might just turn in a split-second and backstab you.
|
United States3714 Posts
On March 21 2011 09:39 CheAse wrote:
That's too bad, but you can find consolation in the fact that girl number one does indeed like you.
So go talk to her, tell her basically everything you said in your post. If shes really that into you can make it work. If not then at least you tried considering the fact.
good luck youngling
This. At least try and restart from square one with girl one.
|
On March 21 2011 09:39 FODDER~ wrote:Show nested quote +Ghostcom: I feel your pain Miss perfect left me 3 days ago as she is going to the states and doesn't feel like she can commit - I threw up just after she told me, never felt this bad in my life. Girls really know how to gutter you! I hope you will get over it soon! GL! Best of wishes to you too man. Just remember it hurts now but you both will see the light at the end of the shrouds soon enough.
Thanks, and yeah the light is out there...
I think what one really needs to concider is that in case of girl #2 (and miss perfect) is that apperantly she didn't want it as much as you did, and then it is perhaps for the best that it got shot down early - it's horrible right now though.
|
I don't think you lost either one.
I don't exactly what to tell you, but I don't think you lost either one.
Take a break, have some you time, and figure out which one you like more, and then start talking to them again.
There are guys that have done worse things to me, we stopped talking for a bit, and then we would start to talk again after a few months and it felt perfectly normal, like nothing happened, like we were still good friends and still had interest in each other. I don't know if you know what I mean. o_O
"Absence Makes The Heart Grow Fonder" right? :>
|
Try to see if you can fix things with the girl you didn't have sex with, go out to dinner and explain what happen say you didn't the she was into you so you moved on.
If that doesn't work move on dude! There are tons more girls out there! I didn't think I could move on from my last girl friend. Then at work a beautiful girl walks in and I ask her out to coffee. It will happen just don't stress over it.
|
If you're having girl problems I feel bad for you son, I got 99 problems but I bitch ain't one
|
Truth be told bro, and not to sound corny, but go to church. I promise you'll find what you seek.
|
On March 21 2011 09:16 lakritzc wrote:
and she was really drunk and we had sex.
brag blog!
|
On March 21 2011 09:53 codeman305 wrote:
Truth be told bro, and not to sound corny, but go to church. I promise you'll find what you seek.
i find a lot of protoss gateway units there, specifically the type that cost no gas.
|
You seem indecisive about what you really want. Do you actually want a "woman you want to spend years with" or is it just that you've never been in a long term relationship and you're asking for help on how to start one?
If you want to date one of these girls long-term, you need to decide what traits you are really searching for in a partner. If one of them has that and you are confident that you want a relationship, go see them and tell them that you've never been in a long-term relationship but you'd like to start one with them, tell them about the 2nd girl and how the situation made you realise that you know what you want now.
|
Black Hero back in the game!!! :D
Simplest and best solution: be honest and throw it out there. Honesty is awesome, not only can you reap the benefits of chicks thinking you are honest/sensitive for telling them what you feel, but it is also that much simpler for you. You save yourself alot of tip-toeing around trying to understand what messages they send you, if its intentional, if they are just flirting or actually are interested etc, by simply asking them, telling them you need an honest answer after you tell them how you feel. Yes this might backfire on borderline cases, but I believe that if someone cannot answer you honestly after you clearly tell them your feelings, then its probable that the girl is not even worth pursuing.
So! Since girl number 2 apparently said that she did not want to pursue a relationship, that is a pretty clear answer, so try to patch things together with the first girl, by telling her that you did like her all along, and that you misunderstood her actions. Worst case is that you lose her as a friend but, having a girl you are interested in as a friend is not that great in the first place.
GL
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
