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Okey, for those that followed my precious blogs about quitting smoking I can happily say that I still haven't touche a cig since I first decided to quit. Although this blog isn't rreally about that, I figured I should update all my followers, believers and worshippers (yeah right).
Anyway, this blog may, to the casual eye, seem like a typical "I still haven't smoked, and I know this girl"-blog, and that's completely how it is!
So, I met this girl in my history class. We started talking before and after the class about just typical stuff. I started to like her quite a bit and I asked for her msn or facebook in a casual, masculine way. I'm generally quite shy but since we wont have history the next week I figured it was the perfect opportuity to ask her out. Since I didn't have to see her for a week otherwise, it would be "safer" in case she turned me down. I also have to say this is my first time I've ever had the courage to ask a girl out while not under the influence of alcohol.
Anyway, here's the thing. She told me she perhaps wanted to go out, but she had some personal issues that made it hard for her to socialize outside of school. She said she would get back to me if and when we should go out.
Okey, so I dont know what that means. I'm quite crazy about this girl and Im afraid to get rejected. I realize I shouldn't push it, and just kinda wait until she gets back to me, but I'd love some comments and encouragement from awesome TL'ers before I go crazy >_<
Before anyone asks, Im 22 and Im not a virgin. Thanks ^_^
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She's on the fence  If she wanted to go out with you and liked you a lot, she would make it so that she would be able to socialize outside of school (wtf, unless she's working two jobs, going to school and single mother, I don't see how she can't..).
But yeah, I think she just created a way to mask her hesitance. Don't push it, give it time and just let it develop naturally. If you're too desperate that will tip her off the edge.
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On March 06 2011 11:37 Masamune wrote:
But yeah, I think she just created a way to mask her hesitance. Don't push it, give it time and just let it develop naturally. If you're too desperate that will tip her off the edge.
This is very important! Keep your cool and don't get too over-eager. Good luck!
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Think shes just making a decision and she just unsure. Give her some time (=
Best of luck with the smoking thing as well!
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Australia7069 Posts
What happens if a) she agrees to go out with you b) she says she wants to go outside for a smoke and asks u to come with.
do you a) go and smoke with her b) say no
also agree with the above posters.
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On March 06 2011 11:41 Angra wrote:Show nested quote +On March 06 2011 11:37 Masamune wrote:
But yeah, I think she just created a way to mask her hesitance. Don't push it, give it time and just let it develop naturally. If you're too desperate that will tip her off the edge. This is very important! Keep your cool and don't get too over-eager. Good luck!
Don't listen to them OP, what you want to do is find out where she lives, start showing up outside her house, threaten to kill any guys you see her talking to, and carve her name into your chest with a razor.
Chicks dig that.
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On March 06 2011 11:59 Kiante wrote:
What happens if a) she agrees to go out with you b) she says she wants to go outside for a smoke and asks u to come with.
do you a) go and smoke with her b) say no
also agree with the above posters.
I think she'd be impress if he was all like "nah I quit those." Girls find strength attractive and quitting cigs is a sure sign of strength.
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On March 06 2011 12:02 etheovermind wrote:Show nested quote +On March 06 2011 11:59 Kiante wrote:
What happens if a) she agrees to go out with you b) she says she wants to go outside for a smoke and asks u to come with.
do you a) go and smoke with her b) say no
also agree with the above posters. I think she'd be impress if he was all like "nah I quit those." Girls find strength attractive and quitting cigs is a sure sign of strength.
Unless she's one of those people and take that to mean that he's insinuating that he's morally better or something because he stopped.
In which case, hit it and quit it.
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Ok, heres my advice
Take the lead, and next time you wanna go out just be like "hey i'm heading to town to this xxx awesome place, you wanna come?"
Don't ask her where she wants to go, you are taking her out, so do something exciting, or at the very least, something that makes you seem more exciting because its an interesting part of you (and preferably, something you are confident at)
Don't bother being formal about it, if she says no, she says no, get over it, move on
Obv, you need to know when shes free, so just find out and man up about it
Sometimes you can just be like "hey when are you next free - sweet lets go do this then"
I'll leave building chemistry on the date to you lol
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I disagree with most of the above posts. Don't become the friend-friend. As I see it you have two options:
1. Ignore her for a while see if she tries to get your attention then ask her out
2. Go ahead and ask her out, since you are Swedish I would reccomend the simple, "why don't we meet for coffee" as a safe semi-date. (For non-swedes, Swedish dating is weird, a large percentage of relationsships start while drunk and end the same, coffee is the safe alternative for non-dunk hookups).
Yes you run the risk of rejection, but if she isn't in to you no amount of time will change that. I think you have a good shot, she even hinted to you that she wanted to. Best of luck.
Oh, and stay off the cigarettes, amazing job!!!
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On March 06 2011 12:14 BrTarolg wrote:
Ok, heres my advice
Take the lead, and next time you wanna go out just be like "hey lets go out now, im going to this xxx awesome place, you coming?"
Don't ask her where she wants to go, you are taking her out, so do something exciting, or at the very least, something that makes you seem more exciting because its an interesting part of you (and preferably, something you are confident at)
Don't bother being formal about it, if she says no, she says no, get over it, move on
Obv, you need to know when shes free, so just find out and man up about it
Sometimes you can just be like "hey when are you next free - sweet lets go do this then"
I'll leave building chemistry on the date to you lol
I agree, leaving it up to her 100% is weak. You can't just sit around hoping she'll make the effort to call you up or whatever. That'll just end up making you a tool, to be used at her discretion.
and oh hi guild leader
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lots of girl blogs lately.
I don't have anything helpful to say about that.. sorry =/
but congrats on staying off the cigs! keep it up!
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And really don't worry about smoking...
If she smokes and asks if you want, just say you are quitting
Most likely she wants to quit aswell (like most smokers) and now you got something to talk about
edit: lol hey there guildie
sry for quitting MS
i hope you like my girl theorycraft
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lol just give it some time and dont push it she's just making some excuse to "think it over", maybe weighing you against some other guy she's seeing etc
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Keep clear of cigs!
As for the chick, if she has to actually think about dating you, she isn't that interested or is really hesitant. This usually means she isn't that into you, and you might consider just jumping ship for the most part. However if you do pursue, be nonchalant about it. Keep it cool and loose.
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She might have some legit reasons why socializing outside of school is difficult for her. If you get to know her better, you'll probably be able to tell if that's true or not pretty soon, regardless of how much you know about why. If she doesn't go out with girl friends or do fun things out and about, it's not just you.
On the other hand, it's very probable that she's just not that into you. Most girls don't like to hurt feelings and feel bad saying straight up no to a guy. If you're into someone, even if you have a reason why you can't do something with them now, you will try to figure out an alternative way to spend time together and get to know them. The whole 'perhaps', and 'I'll get back to you if it works out' makes me think that most likely she's just not interested. :/ If she's really great, just get to know her as a friend for now and see what happens.  Good luck.
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Trouble socializing outside of school means she either already has a boyfriend (and is about to end it soon), or she lives at home and her parents are quite strict (or have health problems).
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pretty sure you're in the friend zone, and she didn't like you trying to get out of it
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womanese: "I have some personal issues that made it hard for me to socialize outside of school"
translation: "I'm not interested"
what you should do: if she's interested she will hit the ball back, if not, you shouldn't pursue further. don't be a friend. seek other girls. if she's not interested, the only way to make her more interested is to withdraw.
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On March 06 2011 11:31 wolfy4033 wrote:
I started to like her quite a bit and I asked for her msn or facebook in a casual, masculine way,
Cute.
But anyways, more info about what type of girl she is would be useful to analyze the situation o_o
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On March 06 2011 12:15 HopLight wrote:
since you are Swedish I would reccomend the simple, "why don't we meet for coffee" as a safe semi-date. (For non-swedes, Swedish dating is weird, a large percentage of relationsships start while drunk and end the same, coffee is the safe alternative for non-dunk hookups).
At first, before I finished reading, I was like...wtf is that sentence in Swedish like...human mating call? I almost asked how you said that in swedish to see if I became attracted to you.
On March 06 2011 11:31 wolfy4033 wrote:
I started to like her quite a bit and I asked for her msn or facebook in a casual, masculine way.
can you type your MSN....>here< *flexes*
What about facebook, just click... >there< *flexes again*
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Thanks for your posts ^_^ I'll just ask her sometime again and if that doesn't work out.. well, there are more girls out there!
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don't lie being a virgin is nothing to be ashamed of
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Wow dude, perfect situation, the hard part is all over. As the above posters have said, she is on the fence, this is good.
Start flirting it up with other girls, especially when she is around, and you don't even have to ignore her, just give her that feeling that you have options, and that you aren't waiting on her. Jealousy is huge
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Have you considered that maybe she actually has some personal issues that will be eating up her time? I could imagine a girl actually having some problems, she thinks the guy's cute, but is annoyed because he seems to be assuming shes just lying to him to see how he'll react or to think about it longer.
Either way, I would suggest asking her if she's willing to tell you more about this supposed problem. It would show that you care, if she is just trying to buy time. Otherwise, it might actually get you information on what kind of personal issues shes dealing with. It could be a thing that'll be resolved in a week or a year, and that's an important detail to you.
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of course she COULD have personal issues that are pretty relevant.
When I lived in Japan I was getting close to a girl, and things had evolved to a state where it was pretty obvious we were going to end up dating, she wrote me this letter talking about personal issues etc etc. and was it still ok. I said yeah, its fine, and we ended up together.
Don't want to write a wall of text, but long story short,we were driving home one day and she had a nervous breakdown-- threw her shoes out of the car, drove the car into the curb twice (cuz she just got insta-angry for some reason), and started biting her arm (while driving, almost sending the car upside down into the ditch... as it was the two right tires went flat from hitting the curb and I had to change them, while making sure she didn't walk barefoot into the forest while raging)....
Sometimes there really are personal issues that aren't obvious from the start dude. Tons of girls in the world.
Advice: just talk to her, you've made your intentions known, its pretty much in her court, but keep contact. Dont be pushy, and importantly, don't disregard what she said about personal issues.-- if its fluff brush-off stuff, then you aint gonna end up together, and it wont help to be pushy/incessant. If its legit issues, you got your eyes open. If she's fence-sitting, you're keeping the contact open. Theres only one way to go ahead.
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I did get the feeling there was some "real" issues behind it, and not just some excuse. I dont wanna feel too pushy but I think I'll ask her about it, thanks ^_^
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EPT
