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On Gender-Related Social Awkwardness - Page 3

Blogs > Peanutsc
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KevinIX
Profile Joined October 2009
United States2472 Posts
November 19 2010 06:42 GMT
#41
Peanut is pretty much the typical TL.net member's dream girl.
Liquid FIGHTING!!!
Rekrul
Profile Blog Joined November 2002
Korea (South)17174 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 07:13:11
November 19 2010 07:10 GMT
#42
3 of us talking, i just met guy

guy talking to my roommate: yeah man i dont understand how u play that starcraft game so much like doesn't it dull your mind? like i'd rather have a life to be honest

(i stay silent on this subject cuz whats the point)

roommate: yeah i'm trying to cut down

few mins later same guy: so dan where r u from?

me: ohio but i've been living in korea for a few years

guy: oh really? doing what?

me as if i oblivious to what he just said, happily: oh i was a professional starcraft player

guy: .....oh....wow

i win
why so 진지해?
Loser777
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
1931 Posts
November 19 2010 07:11 GMT
#43
EA Hoodie!?!!?!?! I hope to god you don't mean the devilish organization that spawned Command and Conquer Generals.

In all seriousness, while I hate being stuck in a situation of mismatched interests as hotbid describes, I don't think that simply leaving like that is the best way to fight ignorance. You seem to be just as closed off from what your girl friends discuss as they are from your interests. Granted, you are the minority in this case, but if neither "side" pays attention to the other, nothing will ever change.

Bah, writing something like that makes me a hypocrite.
6581
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States289 Posts
November 19 2010 07:13 GMT
#44
On November 19 2010 16:10 Rekrul wrote:
3 of us talking, i just met guy

guy talking to my roommate: yeah man i dont understand how u play that starcraft game so much like doesn't it dull your mind? like i'd rather have a life to be honest

roommate: yeah i'm trying to cut down

few mins later same guy: so dan where r u from?

me: ohio but i've been living in korea for a few years

guy: oh really? doing what?

me as if i oblivious to what he just said, happily: oh i was a professional starcraft player

guy: .....oh....wow

i win


If only I could do that.
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
JohannesH
Profile Joined September 2009
Finland1364 Posts
November 19 2010 07:13 GMT
#45
On November 19 2010 15:36 Luddite wrote:I've actually heard a lot of girls say things like "I don't get along well with other girls- I much prefer hanging out with guys". I've never heard any guy say something like that, except maybe for some gay men. I think maybe that attitude is an attempt for the woman to get more freedom for herself by breaking out of stereotyped female roles, and help her fit in as "one of the guys" instead of just being somebody's girlfriend.

Maybe men who feel so just rather talk about it to women?
If you have to ask, you don't know.
onlinerobbe
Profile Joined August 2010
Germany547 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 08:27:34
November 19 2010 08:27 GMT
#46
funny read peanut 5/5
On November 19 2010 16:10 Rekrul wrote:
+ Show Spoiler +

3 of us talking, i just met guy

guy talking to my roommate: yeah man i dont understand how u play that starcraft game so much like doesn't it dull your mind? like i'd rather have a life to be honest

(i stay silent on this subject cuz whats the point)

roommate: yeah i'm trying to cut down

few mins later same guy: so dan where r u from?

me: ohio but i've been living in korea for a few years

guy: oh really? doing what?

me as if i oblivious to what he just said, happily: oh i was a professional starcraft player

guy: .....oh....wow

i win

I can only imagine how good that must have felt :D
ohayo- on afk-op teamliquid | tuturuuuu! mayushi desu - 유인나, 이지은 사랑 (멍 지효 <3 )
piroko139
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States261 Posts
November 19 2010 09:25 GMT
#47
I actually feel this way on my off time.

The few times I've actually ventured into "normal" hangout times (which essentially can be boiled down into drinking at someone's place), I cannot get into the conversation. I recently attempted to start to socialize more to break the mold of being the hermit in my apartment that only leaves to go to work or eat. It ended with my lack of motivation to engage in conversation for the following reasons.

I don't watch sports.
I'm a virgin.
I don't drink.
I don't smoke.

The only common topic I can even share with everyone else essentially is complaining about our job. We do that enough at work, it gets tiresome after a while. I guess being the quiet guy will just have to suit me for a while longer.
Fatty800
Profile Joined September 2010
United States50 Posts
November 19 2010 09:49 GMT
#48
wow peanut. LETS BE FRIENDS!!! should come hang with us for food/gsl/day9/sc2 talks if you're in LA (which i am assuming you are in and not because i am stalking you).

i literally have one female friend that i hang out with and we tried to get her into sc2.
bought the game for her birthday but she doesnt have a good computer to play on

i talk to other girls about class/school/group projects but i dont feel a sense of closeness or have enough things in common to continue to communicate once the class is over. in the end, i kind of gave up on the thought of trying to fit in with the girls in class and just read a novel while on break. i wish they would keep it down cause im trying to read!

just hearing some of them talk kind of angers me too -_-
im not fat
SunsetSC2
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia148 Posts
November 19 2010 10:29 GMT
#49
I feel ya, girly.

I have all guy friends, outside of work, and I can talk lovely nerdiness with them, but even they don't get SC2 - they mostly play console games, or just play LoL and DOTA-ish games.

Luckily, funnily enough, my girl friends from work, even though they're not into SC2, I can sit and explain to them how SC2 works and if I went up my league or how I'm in the process of playing silvers to get promoted, and they listen very attentively and ask questions and are genuinely excited for me. Also luckily, they're not girls who talk about cramps or placentas. Even when we drink. So that's a plus.
*pew* *laser shield* || @Sunset_SC2
TL+ Member
PackofHighly
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States153 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 13:03:45
November 19 2010 13:01 GMT
#50
I'm 24, and though the circumstances and the people are different, the awkwardness and feeling of rather-be-doing-something-else were the same. All the time. And then one day it hit me. When I put myself into those situations, I'm being quite untrue to myself.

Why? Because I am who I am. I'm nerdy as hell. I don't like talking to people about whatever ridiculous nonsense they bring upon themselves by failing to communicate honestly with the people they supposedly care about. I don't want to spend an evening without access to a computer. I don't want to force myself to act "normal." That's what I've done when I go into those social situations.

They always start with the thought of " really should stop spending all my time doing nerdyactivityx and hang out with some 'friends'" Yet each of those times I give in to that ridiculous reasoning I find myself bored, if not utterly disgusted by "normalness." And by the time things are over, I've reminded myself I'm quite un-normal, and I'll never be normal, but that's okay! Instead of torturing myself by doing things I hate, next time I'll just relax and remember that I don't need to be who I'm not.

Besides, I'm already married, who do I have to impress? And even if you're reading this and you're not, don't waste your time by trying to impress someone who would never be impressed with you being your self.
THIS was your PLAN?
SoManyDeadLings
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Canada255 Posts
November 19 2010 13:48 GMT
#51
"Are you a gamer?"

"Yes, but only HARECORE games, like Starcraft".

I quadruple facepalmed about seven times if your story was true.

Dude. Dude...
wsrgry
ConsummateK
Profile Joined April 2010
United States98 Posts
November 19 2010 14:04 GMT
#52
On November 19 2010 22:48 SoManyDeadLings wrote:
"Are you a gamer?"

"Yes, but only HARECORE games, like Starcraft".

I quadruple facepalmed about seven times if your story was true.

Dude. Dude...


I'm pretty sure this was in reference to the Iphone games that had been previously brought up in the conversation. Hooray for ignoring context.
Happy.fairytail
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States327 Posts
November 19 2010 14:37 GMT
#53
haha rekrul owns.

nice blog, peanut. as socially awkward it can be, I do think meeting people who have vastly different backgrounds and values can be really interesting and valuable.

also, congratz on reaching silver!
zzaaxxsscd
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States626 Posts
November 19 2010 14:42 GMT
#54
well, wait a few years and it'll be

baby this, baby that
diaper and stroller brands
how I lost weight after giving birth
ginormous cost of raising children
best areas for elementary school
my son/daughter is a genius
...you get the point

this is why I don't hang out with my wife and her friends any more --- the perils of being a nerd/geek/gamer --- good thing we have MMO and TL!
ZeaL.
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States5955 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 15:09:42
November 19 2010 15:09 GMT
#55
On November 19 2010 23:42 zzaaxxsscd wrote:
well, wait a few years and it'll be

baby this, baby that
diaper and stroller brands
how I lost weight after giving birth
ginormous cost of raising children
best areas for elementary school
my son/daughter is a genius
...you get the point

this is why I don't hang out with my wife and her friends any more --- the perils of being a nerd/geek/gamer --- good thing we have MMO and TL!


Thank god my girlfriends friend's haven't all gotten married and spawned broodlings. One of her acquaintances got teen pregnant and all she does is talk about her kid x.x, the rest of of them thankfully are gonna be at least a few years. In 10 years though its going to be hell. I actually don't mind hanging out with "normal" girls right now though, I'm fine with being the bizarrely pervy guy who brings up placenta in a non medical setting but is non threatening because he has a girlfriend.
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States289 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 17:25:50
November 19 2010 16:00 GMT
#56
On November 19 2010 18:49 OverlordFatty wrote:
wow peanut. LETS BE FRIENDS!!! should come hang with us for food/gsl/day9/sc2 talks if you're in LA (which i am assuming you are in and not because i am stalking you).

i literally have one female friend that i hang out with and we tried to get her into sc2.
bought the game for her birthday but she doesnt have a good computer to play on

i talk to other girls about class/school/group projects but i dont feel a sense of closeness or have enough things in common to continue to communicate once the class is over. in the end, i kind of gave up on the thought of trying to fit in with the girls in class and just read a novel while on break. i wish they would keep it down cause im trying to read!

just hearing some of them talk kind of angers me too -_-


I would love to hang out with you! Unfortunately I'm not in LA - I'm in NorCal south of SF. But next time I'm in the area for an event or something (BlizzCon, WCG, whatever), we should get together!

Edit: Nobody wants to ask about the LAN party house? Awwww ...
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
WilliamDecker
Profile Joined April 2010
Canada43 Posts
November 19 2010 19:45 GMT
#57
To quickly sum up your evening into something about food...

Don't go out for Chinese food when you really want Italian.

If being a girly girl isn't fun. Don't put yourself in the situation. To relate it to being a man, and also being nerdy. I have friends who are really manly men. Hunt, fish, work in welding shops. These aren't the guys I bring up Starcraft with. It is nice to get together with the to discuss manly things, or do manly things. Play sports. Barbecue. I used to hunt, I fish (and want to fish more), and enjoy getting out and not being a nerd sometimes. You need this to even yourself out. Same with women. My sister and I are very close. She's quite a girly girl and is also a tomboy when she needs to be. Being able to adapt and enjoy the company of others is never a bad thing. If you invited one of your girly girl friends over to a LAN party you'd want them to do their best to participate rather than sit there and be thinking about how she'd rather be doing anything else.

I think you could have took the opportunity to find some commonalities between the group of you. I'm not saying you need to be like them, but you need to engage them more to find out what you have in common. Pretty much everyone can find something they can relate on. That's the whole point of getting to know new people Food brings people together. My wife is anything but a nerd, but she likes to engage with me on things I enjoy...even if I don't understand it. She knows who Day9 is. She knows what the GSL is. I also know what Reiki is. It's my duty to try to enjoy the things she enjoys. I don't expect her to participate, nor does she expect me to, but we get along just find being different in some things and the exact same in others. Our fundamentals, the people we are, and what we appreciate about other people are what bring us together.

It's never a bad thing to bring yourself outside your comfort zone. Regardless how you look at it...you grew a little! Glad you enjoyed the hummus!
Leahbjackson
Profile Joined November 2010
United States107 Posts
November 19 2010 19:57 GMT
#58
When I first met you at MLG Peanut, I instantly liked you. That happens about once in every eight thousand girls I meet for reasons so stereotypically prevalent like the ones in your story. I knew as soon as you started talking about SC how passionate, nerdy, and awesome you were. That NEVER happens when I meet other girls, even where I work, and I was so happy to meet you and hang out with you that weekend.

The dinner you went to in this OP sounds so much like any sort of family outing or dinner with friends of work friends that I'm not really acquainted with. Not only do I feel completely out of place at these social gatherings, but I feel shy and like I can't ever be myself because I'll get made fun of or ridiculed. I completely agree that when you're with "normal women" (yes, you and I are not mutants aka we're normal, but you know what I mean) that it's very hard to open up and discuss things that I enjoy because they simply won't know how the fuck to react.

It's kind of funny, because I work in the E! and Style building in Los Angeles. Every single day I'm surrounded by tons of beautiful women that are all really smart in their field, dress nice, smell like flowers, all that crap. I tomboy it up 99% of the time and often wonder if I'm missing something by not being like those girls. Throughout all of college I lived with 7 guys, all complete nerds, and whenever I feel like I'm "less" of a person because I'm not one of the "E! girls" I just think about how much fun I had with those guys, nerds in general, and how much more fun it is to just be myself and be a nerd and talk about how awesome it is to get promoted leagues in SC2 because that shit is the best.

Don't ever change.
SolidusR
Profile Joined November 2010
United States217 Posts
November 19 2010 21:49 GMT
#59
A very well written discourse on the female condition! I enjoyed reading this especially because my girlfriend is not a gamer, but has always had difficulty bonding to other girls her own age. You two bear many similarities in your aversion to the "typical" female social engagements; I can't help but wonder if it's nature or nurture which has caused the divergence. What is awesome though is that you know what makes you happy and you aren't afraid to be true to yourself, that puts you in such a good position to enjoy life and achieve the independence every person deserves from social constraints/expectations (should they wish it). Good luck on gold league!
kawoq
Profile Joined November 2005
Guatemala357 Posts
November 19 2010 22:07 GMT
#60
congratz for:

1. getting into Silver

2. Having a boyfriend who is working on a LAN party house (one of the things I want to make in the future)

And about your history well you just need to find some girls that likes the things you like... I know is not esasy but you dont really need them, if you have a good time with boys but oh well...
"It is not a shameful thing to be unable to reach the goal. It's becoming afraid and running away, even before considering the fact that the road is long and rough, that is truly cowardly." by - Lim Yo Hwan aka SlayerS_Boxer from "Crazy as me"
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