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On Gender-Related Social Awkwardness - Page 2

Blogs > Peanutsc
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Chef
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
10810 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 04:12:42
November 19 2010 04:07 GMT
#21
You're probably right. I do question the idea that vapid girls don't discuss books though. I have the displeasure of hearing people say what they think in English courses, and it usually not very deep. Peanut did say they couldn't get past the menstrual aspect of The Red Tent, which suggests they only saw the very superficial aspects of it.

Most nerdy girls are very complimenting of people who don't deserve compliments... So I don't take calling them 'intelligent' too seriously. And I kind of associated getting drunk off wine with the girls to be an activity popular with vapid girls But I'm making a lot of assumptions.
LEGEND!! LEGEND!!
ellerina
Profile Joined April 2010
Philippines452 Posts
November 19 2010 04:22 GMT
#22
I guess it's been my good fortune to have a few friends (and sisters) my own gender who I can at least get excited over games with. I used to play BW, WC3, Ragnarok Online, and DOTA (very informally) with them through HS and college- none of them play games actively now but one of them is joining me in the anticipation for Diablo 3. Some of the non-gamers play casual games like Plants Vs. Zombies, Diner Dash, and Farm Frenzy so it's not all that bad either.

I think I'd be awkward if I went to that party too, lol. Conversation with my non-gaming girl friends has briefly touched upon marriage (consensus: not anywhere in the near future) and the like, but I don't think I've ever discussed menstruation at length with them either. I'm fine with celebrities, make-up, TV shows, and clothes popping up in conservations, but they're certainly not the focus of what me and my friends usually talk/laugh about. And I wouldn't classify talking about placentas as girly, just weird.
Still round the corner there may wait , A new road or a secret gate /And though I oft have passed them by, A day will come at last when I /Shall take the hidden paths that run/West of the Moon, East of the Sun
hazelynut
Profile Blog Joined December 2008
United States2195 Posts
November 19 2010 04:34 GMT
#23
Well-written, Peanut . I think I know a little bit of what you mean of not belonging when it comes to girly conversations, but I watch enough Gossip Girl and Glee and dance/listen to enough KPop to put up a convincing pretense.

A really rewarding experience, in these cases, is converting girls into SC enthusiasts (or at least, people who understand SC a little better than "my brother plays games"), one by one. The girls that I know know that I love SC, and although they always say, "I'm terribly at computer games," they at least understand it as something mysteriously awesome instead of just mysterious.

On November 19 2010 13:22 ellerina wrote:
I guess it's been my good fortune to have a few friends (and sisters) my own gender who I can at least get excited over games with. I used to play BW, WC3, Ragnarok Online, and DOTA (very informally) with them through HS and college.


...who are you? I've played BW, Ragnarok Online, DotA (very briefly), and now SC2. This is too similar to be trueee D: I have not played Diablo, though.
Zerg | life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery | www.cstarleague.com <3
phosphorylation
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States2935 Posts
November 19 2010 04:37 GMT
#24
damn i thouhg tyou were a guy until someone in the thread pointed out that you were a girl
when you mentioned bf, i thought you were gay or something
Buy prints of my photographs at Redbubble -> http://www.redbubble.com/people/shoenberg3
CosmicAC
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States238 Posts
November 19 2010 04:37 GMT
#25
I read right up till the very end until he called you Peanut, then I realized you were a girl.

To follow the path: look to the master, follow the master, walk with the master, see through the master, become the master.
tofucake
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Hyrule19026 Posts
November 19 2010 04:42 GMT
#26
Don't worry, Peanut. There's other cool girls like you out there. It'll just take time to find them. Once you do find them, you can band them all together and lead them on a crusade to buy all the Triscuits and hummus in the country. Then all the girls you don't like hanging out with will starve to death before the main course is served.

Peanut: 1, everyone else: dead

gg. You win being female.
Liquipediaasante sana squash banana
caelym
Profile Blog Joined June 2008
United States6421 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 04:48:00
November 19 2010 04:47 GMT
#27
I'm a guy, and for someone's whose primary interests are esports, computers/internet, politics, and business, the only people who I enjoy the company of are other nerdy guys. but meeting women (which is something I want to do) requires boring conversation and patience. your experience is very much what it feels like for me to talk to women. it's sad how that's the way of life.
bnet: caelym#1470 | Twitter: @caelym
Peanutsc
Profile Blog Joined August 2008
United States277 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 05:10:33
November 19 2010 05:09 GMT
#28
On November 19 2010 12:57 Hot_Bid wrote:
Show nested quote +
On November 19 2010 11:50 Chef wrote:
On November 19 2010 11:34 LSB wrote:
This remineds me of a few discussion areas not to breach with girls.

I've learned not to talk about cramps. Do not talk about cramps. Even if you're screaming in pain because your foot just cramped up, do not talk about it.

I think that only applies to high school girls who are still mad at God for giving them periods. Most girls get past that phase :O

OP, I think there's different kinds of girls, and the kind you met that night are the vapid kind. I don't want to say "people like us" because I don't know you, but I'd say that there are personality types which just don't jive with the people who like to go to parties and don't know how to talk about anything else. But it's that way for both genders. You're not talking to party guys who only know about weed and saying dduuuuude. You're talking about nerdy guys. There's nerdy girls too. Not "gamer girls" because that's usually populated by twits who just want attention, but just regular girls with interests that go beyond the social sphere. So seek them out if you really care But try not to get discouraged because the most noticeable girls are the most difficult to get along with.

I disagree completely. Peanut described these girls as well educated with good jobs. "Vapid" girls don't discuss books. They don't organize the kinds of meal these girls did. This was just a case if mismatched interests. I don't think it's fair to put down people and call them "vapid" just because they talk about things you aren't interested in. I doubt these are the girls that "just go to parties and don't know how to talk about anything else," I highly doubt party girls are sipping wine eating orzo and talking about literature they just read.


I agree with HotBid. I would not call these girls vapid - they really were intelligent people who had gone to very good colleges and now have very good jobs. I wouldn't want them to starve, either!

I am very appreciative of everyone who's said they like this post - it was for your enjoyment. I also appreciate all those who have offered words of advice and support - thank you.

However, I didn't write this to imply that I feel deficient in any deep rooted or general way, or to excite pity, or to make anybody tell me how good of a girlfriend I am/would be. It's really just a window into an interesting part of my life and my social tendencies.

I know there are other girls like me out there - I've had the good fortune of meeting a bunch of them, although there are certainly not as many as I'd like. There are other stories where I hang out with these kinds of girls and we have lots of fun, like the time three non-girly girls and I went to a couple strip clubs and a karaoke bar for my birthday and they made me get a lap dance (from a girl) and it was really fun (although honestly I think I would've been kinda freaked out if I hadn't been drunk). But that's a tale for another time.
"You only get one life on this earth, Tasteless, and if you're not spending the majority of it playing StarCraft, I would argue that it might be wasted." "I couldn't agree more, Artosis."
JohannesH
Profile Joined September 2009
Finland1364 Posts
November 19 2010 05:13 GMT
#29
On November 19 2010 13:07 Chef wrote:
You're probably right. I do question the idea that vapid girls don't discuss books though. I have the displeasure of hearing people say what they think in English courses, and it usually not very deep. Peanut did say they couldn't get past the menstrual aspect of The Red Tent, which suggests they only saw the very superficial aspects of it.

Most nerdy girls are very complimenting of people who don't deserve compliments... So I don't take calling them 'intelligent' too seriously. And I kind of associated getting drunk off wine with the girls to be an activity popular with vapid girls But I'm making a lot of assumptions.

Well it's not like SC2 league ranks or Google/Facebook discussions mean you're any smart either. Just different interests.
If you have to ask, you don't know.
Impervious
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Canada4198 Posts
November 19 2010 05:17 GMT
#30
Wow, what a brag blog in disguise.

Congrats on getting silver!

~ \(ˌ)im-ˈpər-vē-əs\ : not capable of being damaged or harmed.
ellerina
Profile Joined April 2010
Philippines452 Posts
November 19 2010 05:17 GMT
#31
On November 19 2010 13:34 hazelynut wrote:
...who are you? I've played BW, Ragnarok Online, DotA (very briefly), and now SC2. This is too similar to be trueee D: I have not played Diablo, though.


Your alter-ego from the Philippines? XD It flashed through my mind that maybe one of my friends moved to the US, but I'm pretty sure all my ex-gaming friends are still in the Philippines, lol.

I used to watch Gossip Girl (first 2 seasons, couldn't get through the third) and I like Kpop well enough too One of my friends is a diehard Shinhwa fan and another is a not-so-diehard fan of DBSK. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to convert any of my friends or convince them to play non-casual games again, but at least they know that I like to play games and they're fine with it.
Still round the corner there may wait , A new road or a secret gate /And though I oft have passed them by, A day will come at last when I /Shall take the hidden paths that run/West of the Moon, East of the Sun
desRow
Profile Blog Joined May 2009
Canada2654 Posts
November 19 2010 05:20 GMT
#32
haha awesome blog, grats on silver and i have no idea how that food looks or taste like but it sounds good lol
http://twitch.tv/desrowfighting http://twitter.com/desrowfighting http://facebook.com/desrowfighting
Kyuukyuu
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
Canada6263 Posts
November 19 2010 05:29 GMT
#33
One of my close friends is a girl like you. Keep doing what you're doing.
Strivers
Profile Joined November 2010
United States358 Posts
November 19 2010 05:54 GMT
#34
post a pic of yourself.

User was warned for this post
These little dudes really like the blue stuff..
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
November 19 2010 06:06 GMT
#35
This is an adorably awesome read. 5/5
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
vinn
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia112 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-19 06:26:22
November 19 2010 06:09 GMT
#36
Thanks for sharing that with us!
You're really lucky you have guy friends who you can talk about interesting things with ^_^
Wow I try my hardest to avoid any interaction with those types of girls! They're so scary, and make me feel like a total loser, when obviously I'm totally awesome. Hah! But seriously, they do scare me >.>'

edit: i can speel gud
.___.
DivinO
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
United States4796 Posts
November 19 2010 06:11 GMT
#37
On November 19 2010 15:09 vinn wrote:
Thanks for sharing that with us!
You're really lucky you have guy friends who you can talk about interesting things with ^_^
Wow I try my hardest to avoid any interaction with those types of girls! They're so scary, and make me feel like a total looser, when obviously I'm totally awesome. Hah! But seriously, they do scare me >.>'


Do you mean to tell me that a girl currently occupies the greatest voted blog spot on Team Liquid?

That's really cool. :D
LiquipediaBrain in my filth.
vinn
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Australia112 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-30 01:12:26
November 19 2010 06:32 GMT
#38
edit: oops nevermind.
.___.
Luddite
Profile Blog Joined April 2007
United States2315 Posts
November 19 2010 06:36 GMT
#39
It's a complicated issue. I mean my first instinct is to say- so what? I can't talk about starcraft or video games with most guys either. At least not for long, before they dismiss me as a hopeless nerd. And I usually get stuck talking about football or cars or complaining about their jobs or some other topic that I have no interest in either. Probably doesn't help that, if you're the kind of person that really enjoys video games, you're probably not the most outgoing/talkative person anyway.

On the other hand I do know that it's worse for girls, since they have so much pressure to worry about babies and boyfriends. At least guys get more freedom to pursue our own hobbies and interests, and speak our minds more freely.

I've actually heard a lot of girls say things like "I don't get along well with other girls- I much prefer hanging out with guys". I've never heard any guy say something like that, except maybe for some gay men. I think maybe that attitude is an attempt for the woman to get more freedom for herself by breaking out of stereotyped female roles, and help her fit in as "one of the guys" instead of just being somebody's girlfriend.
Can't believe I'm still here playing this same game
DeckOneBell
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States526 Posts
November 19 2010 06:40 GMT
#40
On November 19 2010 13:47 caelym wrote:
I'm a guy, and for someone's whose primary interests are esports, computers/internet, politics, and business, the only people who I enjoy the company of are other nerdy guys. but meeting women (which is something I want to do) requires boring conversation and patience. your experience is very much what it feels like for me to talk to women. it's sad how that's the way of life.


I actually really enjoy conversations with women. Even about things that may not be nerdy! It might have to do with being attracted to women, but I find women to be a refreshing change of pace from men.

Annnd yeah, I love ESPORTS (always, always in caps), computers, internet, and everything else.

Sometimes it's kinda hard to find common ground though, but I think just about anyone (gender disregarded!) has at least some common ground with anyone else. Just maybe not in this situation.

About the OP though, sad to hear about the awkward social situation. Those are just painful. @_@

Long and boring, the worst.
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