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Another girl problem

Blogs > BaltA
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1 2 3 4 5 Next All
BaltA
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Norway849 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-17 22:39:19
November 15 2010 22:05 GMT
#1
This is not a regular problem I think at least, this is more that I search the advice of TL.. What to do!
So this is the story:

One day a good looking girl added me on facebook, she knew my mother so added me. We started talking on fb and I got her number right away. After some days we met for the first time, and had a blast. A good fit I would say.
Then she added me on msn. We started talking sooo much, every fucking day for like 2-3 hours.. Then one day I asked her if she wansts to go with me to practise ( playing basketball). And she agreed, we played some basket and had a great time. There were this akward moment when we were about to say good bye, like the moment you should kiss the girl, but she got nervious and pulled away, so the next time we met I just did it.
She got nervious there, but that actually helped me a lot, because the next time we talked, she said that she really liked me and so on.

And now the messed up part starts....
I ask her out a friday ( I'm 18 she's 17), she said yeah, but when I called her, she had fell asleep.....?
Ok, shit happens, that can happen to everbody. Then I asked her out again, and she said yeah again. Told me how much she looked forward to see me and how much she missed me.

The day came where we were supposed to go out. I go to work, the 7 hours went by so fucking slow coz I could bearly wait to see her, and then I call her.... She does not pick up.... Call her 30 min later and she does not answer, and did the same a 3rd time.

I go where we were supposed to meet and wait for 20 min.. Maybe her phone is broken or she forgot it (yeye I'm naive). I got pissed when she didn't show up, so I went and took some beer...

When I came home, with alcohol in my blood and was extremly dissapointed that she didn't show, I saw she wrote on msn : " I can not come today nor tomorrow due to school work "... COMEONE! This is 100% a dodge, I think

So my question is.. What should I do ? Just wait for her to contact me, or should I contact her... Ask her wtf is going on, or just ignore it? What should I do TL? I've gotten so many different answers in RL, so I wanna check here aswell..

Thanks for you're help


Edit:

We talked about it, and then we hanged around whole day. The day ended with a lot of kisses, so my little problem is solved.. I didn't talk to her for some days, and she really missed me ;P

**
AcrossFiveJulys
Profile Blog Joined September 2005
United States3612 Posts
November 15 2010 22:09 GMT
#2
This sounds really strange. My guess is that she has ex bf issues. Either she has recently broken up and likes you but does not want to start something new due to recent heartbreak, or she is rekindling a relationship with an ex (who may have found out about you and made a move not to lose her).
paper
Profile Blog Joined September 2004
13196 Posts
November 15 2010 22:09 GMT
#3
It's over.

DELETE FROM FACEBOOK, HIT THE GYM
Hates Fun🤔
Sadist
Profile Blog Joined October 2002
United States7328 Posts
November 15 2010 22:10 GMT
#4
maybe your breath was bad
How do you go from where you are to where you want to be? I think you have to have an enthusiasm for life. You have to have a dream, a goal and you have to be willing to work for it. Jim Valvano
DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45971 Posts
November 15 2010 22:12 GMT
#5
Maybe she's dodging, so put the ball in her court. Tell her that it's up to her to make the next plans for you two. Tell her to call you next time she's available.

Then go on with your life. If she calls you back soon to make plans, then that's awesome If not, then forget her.

You don't want to get led on.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
darmousseh
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States3437 Posts
November 15 2010 22:12 GMT
#6
haha, this happened to me so many times, and I married my girl. You gotta have patience dude, you are only 18 anyway. Often times girls do not want to explain what happened because they are embarassed. The best way to deal with it is to wait til she calls you and tell her that it's no big deal and that you can go out whenever she wants to (people don't like to be pressured in general). If she doesn't call you in a day or two, then call her ONCE randomly during the day and just say "Hey, i wanted to see what's up. Well i'm off to do "blah" today and if you want to give me a call to talk, just ring me up, bye." Short simple, and to the point. Most people date for like 2-3 years before getting married. Don't worry about it, i'm sure this isn't the last time it will happen.
Developer for http://mtgfiddle.com
gods_basement
Profile Blog Joined August 2010
United States305 Posts
November 15 2010 22:12 GMT
#7
well, easy solution is to stop asking her out. you've made enough tries to get her outside, and shes flaked pretty hard. if you say, "next time you make the plans" to her, she will ask you out if she likes you, and if she doesnt, she won't ever bother you again. this lets you move on with your life without completely burning the bridge that you've established.

however, if you're lovestruck, then it wont matter. you've just got to grind out the misery until you learn your lesson (or she stops being a flake)
(TT~TT)
baller
Profile Blog Joined March 2006
527 Posts
November 15 2010 22:14 GMT
#8
u r not giving her enough incentive to come on the date with u. u must make it 100% certain she is coming. instead of asking like a pussy, "will you go out with me??" just make her an offer she cant refuse. "go out with me... or i kill you." no way she can oversleep or do homework over that.
Kralic
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
Canada2628 Posts
November 15 2010 22:17 GMT
#9
Hopefully she wants to talk to you after you called her 3 times in under an hour... I can't give you much advice other than give it a few days and see if she contacts you.
Brood War forever!
krypti_c
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States64 Posts
November 15 2010 22:18 GMT
#10
Baller once again comes in late and wins the thread.
BaltA
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
Norway849 Posts
November 15 2010 22:18 GMT
#11
On November 16 2010 07:12 gods_basement wrote:
well, easy solution is to stop asking her out. you've made enough tries to get her outside, and shes flaked pretty hard. if you say, "next time you make the plans" to her, she will ask you out if she likes you, and if she doesnt, she won't ever bother you again. this lets you move on with your life without completely burning the bridge that you've established.

however, if you're lovestruck, then it wont matter. you've just got to grind out the misery until you learn your lesson (or she stops being a flake)


yeah, I agree with you. I think I will tell her to call me when she has time! But dunno if I should bring this shit up, just ask her what the fuck is up, or just ignore once again what happened
MisterD
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Germany1338 Posts
November 15 2010 22:19 GMT
#12
rofl, seriously she doesnt show up once and you make a blog post about it asking for advice?

here's my advice: grow up. rofl.
Gold isn't everything in life... you need wood, too!
Aelonius
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
Netherlands432 Posts
November 15 2010 22:19 GMT
#13
Baller, that was a fairly close nomination to the "Improper Prize 2010".
As for the answer, I agree on DarkPlasmaBall

Maybe she's dodging, so put the ball in her court. Tell her that it's up to her to make the next plans for you two. Tell her to call you next time she's available.

Then go on with your life. If she calls you back soon to make plans, then that's awesome If not, then forget her.

You don't want to get led on.
''The nine most terrifying words in the English language are: 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.''—Ronald Reagan
darmousseh
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States3437 Posts
November 15 2010 22:21 GMT
#14
haha, wow some bad advice. She is not dodging yet. From what it sounds like, the OP might have been a litle bit too forward in his approach. Give the girl some room and don't make a big deal. If she's flaky in the future, then it's obviously not going to work, but if the OP makes it a huge deal, then that will be a big turnoff. Relax, it's not worth stressing over. One time i waited 2 hours for my gf and she didn't show up. I called and left a message. The next day she calls and said she fell alseep, I asked if we could hang out instead of going on a date, and we just hung out at the park playing basketball.
Developer for http://mtgfiddle.com
DanceCommander
Profile Blog Joined May 2008
United States1808 Posts
November 15 2010 22:24 GMT
#15
hmmm baller 3/5 imo
DorF
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Sweden961 Posts
November 15 2010 22:27 GMT
#16
Write to her "lol dodge moar" then never see her again.
BW for life !
CheAse
Profile Blog Joined July 2009
Canada919 Posts
November 15 2010 22:41 GMT
#17
Sounds like she has some stuff to sort out of her own. Could be a lot of things like someone in her family dying or maybe he just got a massive acne break out and is embarrassed to see you.

My guess is that its another boy though.

If I were you, just be straight up. Tell her what you feel, and hopefully you will get a good response, and if not theres always more fish.
SCV good to go sir
lixlix
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States482 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-15 22:44:54
November 15 2010 22:43 GMT
#18
"We started talking sooo much, every fucking day for like 2-3 hours."


this is where you messed up.

Talking that much before you even go out on a date is just a bad idea. You reveal too much of yourself and removed the mystery. I know it seemed to you like it was going well at the time but trust me when I say it wasn't. You should have cut the conversation short (no more than 20 minutes) and always be the one to cut off the conversation. Leave her wanting more. Everyday for 2-3 hours just makes you sound needy. You're not her girlfriend. You should make her feel that you have a lot of things going on and you have goals and that your time is important.

The other problem is, once she blew you off the first time, you should have just ignored her. If she really wanted to go out with you, she would have apologized for falling asleep and breaking a date and SHE would have come up with an alternative date or tried to make it up to you in some way.

At this point, she already sees you as super clingy and the attraction is likely gone. Your best option is to not talk to her again and start dating other girls. If she calls you back again, don't be eager. Tell her you have lots of things going on. If she wants to meet up, tell her you are kind of busy with some new friends that day. Don't fall for her shit. Let her know implicitly that shes not the only girl in the world and you can easily get with other girls.

DarkPlasmaBall
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States45971 Posts
November 15 2010 22:44 GMT
#19
On November 16 2010 07:14 baller wrote:
u r not giving her enough incentive to come on the date with u. u must make it 100% certain she is coming. instead of asking like a pussy, "will you go out with me??" just make her an offer she cant refuse. "go out with me... or i kill you." no way she can oversleep or do homework over that.


Not your best. But then again, it's probably because I have such high expectations.
"There is nothing more satisfying than looking at a crowd of people and helping them get what I love." ~Day[9] Daily #100
avilo
Profile Blog Joined November 2007
United States4100 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-11-15 22:54:01
November 15 2010 22:52 GMT
#20
She flaked on you. Pretty sure girls in high school do that all the time, sounds pretty fucked up, but it's probably because they are immature still. Or she was leading you on the entire time while playing the field, and then basically is now going after someone else.

You missed your timing window obv! lol

What baller said is an exaggeration of what you should do. Don't "ask" - tell her you're taking her out on a date, etc. or "let's go out" or what not. Anyways, yah...I wouldn't deal with those type of girls, they're just going to frustrate you and drive you crazy I would think.
Sup
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