Another girl problem - Page 5

Kakera

United States419 Posts

November 26 2010 06:31 GMT

#81

Sounds like everyone here is just over-thinking the whole social interaction thing. Just say how you feel and damn the consequences. If it freaks her out then you quit bugging her, if she's into you go from there. Truth is like the simplest route to ever take, but we make it so difficult sometimes. Take time to yourself, find out what YOU really want. And then do it. If you REALLY want her then tell her so and she'll either 1.reject or 2.accept. From there the path splits, Accept: go out with her. Don't go out with her. Reject: Stalk. Do not stalk. All simple choices based on simple social acceptablity + what you desire. THIS IS NOT HARD. I'm in love with my Best friend and my wife, I've told both of them this so that's there's no confusion or misgivings. And they are really good friends now. It's not a huge deal as long as you don't over-react to your feelings. Just because I'm in love with my best friend and totally want to tap that doesn't mean our friendship will dissolve because of a simple truth. Explain how you feel and how you won't let it get b/w what you want and what you need. I need a friend way more than a lay. My wife knows all this and my friend knows all this and what will come will come regardless of how much one will obsess over it. You can hide and you can lie but does it make you happy to do these things? Wouldn't it all be so much simpler if you just said what you felt and let it course out from there. All those nights you stay up pondering what-ifs are gone. No more stressing over how they feel. Just do it, not like you got much to lose that you won't lose anyway by lying about stuff. All you are doing is delaying the inevitable and causing yourself undue harm in the process.
Ten signing out.

LazyMacro

976 Posts

November 26 2010 21:05 GMT

#82

My experience is relatively limited, but I remember knowing how it felt the last time I thought I had a good shot with this girl in one of my classes.

Anytime things didn't go as I wanted them to, I would get anxious and worrisome about it. I would try to look for hidden meanings in what she said, and I would generally behave in a way that was detrimental to my ultimate goal.

In the end, I was honest with myself, and I was honest with her. Instead of getting angry or sad, just take a deep breath, relax, and stop worrying.

Maybe it'll work out with her, and maybe it won't. There's no reason to consider any woman (or man) to be special and significant in your life until long past the first date. She should be trying just as hard to win you over as you are to win her over.

If it doesn't work out, fuck it. If you get rejected, fuck it.

Humans are complex creatures with their own thoughts, experiences, and desires, and there aren't any rules, exactly. Furthermore, people aren't always logical, so a person's behavior may have very complicated reasoning behind it you can't yet understand. Just go with it.

Don't be a doormat, but give the girl some space, too.

Hidden_MotiveS

Canada2562 Posts

November 29 2010 00:29 GMT

#83

Best Poster on Teamliquid:
~~Luddite~~
~~Baller~~
Kakera

zak

Korea (South)1009 Posts

November 29 2010 02:26 GMT

#84

lol here is my advice. Do not get angry and so caught up in every fault that occurs. You seem like a cool kid so be aloof to the petty stuff that happens and be the better person. If she is a bitch then let her but don't stoop to her level or let that stuff get to you.

Stay cool bro

Moonling

United States987 Posts

November 29 2010 02:36 GMT

#85

On November 16 2010 07:09 paper wrote:
It's over.

DELETE FROM FACEBOOK, HIT THE GYM

LOL! ha come on man be optimistic

Rev0lution

United States1805 Posts

November 29 2010 07:08 GMT

#86

On November 16 2010 08:30 Kennigit wrote:
I've had this happen to me before, its a product of acting too needy and letting it move too fast without being really involved with her. Theres a couple things you can do to save/fix this.

- Don't talk to her that much. Shes not your fucking wife - give her the pleasure or thinking and missing you and wondering why you aren't on msn.
- Be the one the cut off convo cause you are busy doing stuff.
- It's really important that you don't make a deal of this, but let her know that her behavior is unacceptable. Dont chase after her. You actually have a much better chance of success if you tell her that you have other things you can do in your time and her cancelling that late is unacceptable - if she wants to go out, she can call you.
- Girls subconsciously do this stuff to test how much bullshit you will put up with and if you are really a man. In my online dating escapades, i had a girl cancel on me 5 hours before we were supposed to meet - i told her that was a her problem, not a me problem and that 5 hours cancel wasn't acceptable. I dropped her and then she chased me about a week after.
- Wait 4-5 days, test the water if she hasn't contacted you already. Then pick it back up, cooly.

The funniest part, people actually think you wrote that.

The better you become at dating the more ridiculous this PUA shit becomes.

Whoever said you should talk to a girl for 20 minutes.. please stfu and stop regurgitating off the PUA manual, you talk to a girl until you A) run out of conversation B) she gets bored

that's when you hang up.

ZERG_RUSSIAN

10417 Posts

November 30 2010 12:08 GMT

#87

It's interesting to see someone who has the alpha-mindset so ingrained into themselves that they automatically try to amog someone even when they're online

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