EPTAnother girl problem - Page 3
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ShaperofDreams
Canada2492 Posts
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Wolf
Korea (South)3290 Posts
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emperorchampion
Canada9496 Posts
listen to this man! | ||
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Lucumo
6850 Posts
On November 16 2010 07:05 BaltA wrote: Then she added me on msn. We started talking sooo much, every fucking day for like 2-3 hours.. This is considered "sooo much"? I talked with a girl 9 hours a day(via ICQ), for 3-4 weeks, then vacation was over and we reduced it to 2-5 hours. Anyway, regarding your problem: Just go to her and ask directly, whether she dodged it, what she thinks etc. Getting straight to the point is always the best thing...and it saves time as well. | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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Chef
10810 Posts
I know a lot of people on this forum probably perceive themselves as nice guys, but you're not being a nice guy if you just have no self-respect. | ||
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Enervate
United States1769 Posts
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lixlix
United States482 Posts
When you do that, you are implicitly saying that it is ok for her to cancel at the last minute repeatedly without so much as an apology. You need to setup some boundaries. Don't confront her directly either. Women hate spelling it out for you. She is subtly giving you hints that shes not that in to you. Don't be a doofus and directly confront her. A girl who is really in to you would not fall asleep right before your date. It just doesn't happen. You said yourself, you were thinking about her all throughout the day before the planned date time. If she was in to you, she would have done the same, perhaps even more so, and no way would have flaked twice. I'll say this again. If you want any chance with this girl. Ignore her, enjoy other parts of your life, improve yourself, and date other girls. That is the only way to get her. | ||
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crazeman
664 Posts
On November 16 2010 10:48 Chef wrote: There is no such thing as a legitimate excuse for ditching Kennigit, don't be ridiculous. I know a lot of people on this forum probably perceive themselves as nice guys, but you're not being a nice guy if you just have no self-respect. He's talking about all the Terran players.  | ||
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krndandaman
Mozambique16569 Posts
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lixlix
United States482 Posts
If she was a quality girl, even if she wasn't super in to OP, she would still try to make up for it somehow since she did initially agree to the date twice. Obviously she is immature and playing headgames. | ||
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AyeH
United States534 Posts
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Brett
Australia3820 Posts
She flaked on you and it's not worth your time or energy to even think about what went wrong. It's nothing you did. It's her problem. Find someone better! | ||
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BaltA
Norway849 Posts
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shenlong
219 Posts
On November 16 2010 07:12 DarkPlasmaBall wrote: Maybe she's dodging, so put the ball in her court. Tell her that it's up to her to make the next plans for you two. Tell her to call you next time she's available. Then go on with your life. If she calls you back soon to make plans, then that's awesome  If not, then forget her. You don't want to get led on. ya i agree with this, girls sometimes like to play little "games" or just bad advise her friends tell her, like telling her she should be in control of the situation or if you forgive her after flaking on you then his definitely a keeper amongst other bad advise... | ||
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Sprite
United States1015 Posts
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rezoacken
Canada2719 Posts
As a paraphrase of what he said I'll just underline some of the things that went wrong with what you described : This is not a regular problem I think at least, this is more that I search the advice of TL.. What to do! Actually this is a really common problem, more or less due to the same mistakes. One day a good looking girl added me on facebook, she knew my mother so added me. We started talking on fb and I got her number right away. After some days we met for the first time, and had a blast. A good fit I would say. This is good so far, I have not the details but getting her number fast and meeting fast is very good when you meet someone online, you should never become her "internet friend". Then she added me on msn. We started talking sooo much, every fucking day for like 2-3 hours.. I'm not suggesting it killed you but you should not do that. Remember this : We fall in love when somebody's missing. You need to have your own shit and be less available. Otherwise you enter friend zone, be her confident and all this bullshit. Avoid MSN at all cost with a girl, it shows when you're available and this is not an emotionaly charged interaction (phone is better, in person is best) (and you should aim for emotional, cool, funny interactions with a girl; avoid emo / logical / boring conversations at all cost and especially on MSN). Edit : when I talk about having an emotionaly charged interaction, I mean play games / tell stories / etc that will get HER emotional (excited, laughing, amazed etc). When I talk about avoiding emo stuff I mean avoiding talking about the fact you feel bad because of ..., of your ex, her ex etc (well emo suicidal stuff !) Then one day I asked her if she wansts to go with me to practise ( playing basketball). And she agreed, we played some basket and had a great time. There were this akward moment when we were about to say good bye, like the moment you should kiss the girl, but she got nervious and pulled away, so the next time we met I just did it. She got nervious there, but that actually helped me a lot, because the next time we talked, she said that she really liked me and so on. Good to have at least set up a date, you should make it sooner. BUT you must do something else after basketball. Basketball will create rapport but it won't make her attracted to you, you need a chiller environment to do that (unless you are actually good at this stuff and can get very physical while playing, but you're not there yet). A girl being nervous after you kissed her is not a good sign if there is no good reasons to it (like if her firends are wtaching). Kiss her when you feel the interaction is sparkling and after having already been physical, not as a goodbye nor as a welcome. If you are not physical and suddenly go for a kiss this is awkward and will often lead to a fail (not always though... but don't be sloppy). And now the messed up part starts.... I ask her out a friday ( I'm 18 she's 17), she said yeah, but when I called her, she had fell asleep.....? Ok, shit happens, that can happen to everbody. Then I asked her out again, and she said yeah again. Told me how much she looked forward to see me and how much she missed me. The day came where we were supposed to go out. I go to work, the 7 hours went by so fucking slow coz I could bearly wait to see her, and then I call her.... She does not pick up.... Call her 30 min later and she does not answer, and did the same a 3rd time. I go where we were supposed to meet and wait for 20 min.. Maybe her phone is broken or she forgot it (yeye I'm naive). I got pissed when she didn't show up, so I went and took some beer... When I came home, with alcohol in my blood and was extremly dissapointed that she didn't show, I saw she wrote on msn : " I can not come today nor tomorrow due to school work "... COMEONE! This is 100% a dodge, I think Yes she is flaking left and right and you are falling into it. If a girl flakes on you, you should be clear that your time is valuable and you don't want it to ever happen again. You should also try to have a second plan when she is doing it so when she apologize or shit just tell her you still had a good time with your buddy John (and still tell her you won't cope with her flaking, you do not need to be agressive just firm). Then just wait without giving news, if she call back it is all good, plan another date. If she does not call back first, do it after 4-5 days, in a casual manner, like you don't really care anymore if she will go or not (because she may not come and that will be the clear sign this is over). | ||
Chill
Calgary25954 Posts
On November 16 2010 10:43 Lucumo wrote: This is considered "sooo much"? I talked with a girl 9 hours a day(via ICQ), for 3-4 weeks, then vacation was over and we reduced it to 2-5 hours. Anyway, regarding your problem: Just go to her and ask directly, whether she dodged it, what she thinks etc. Getting straight to the point is always the best thing...and it saves time as well. I am not mentally capable of talking to one person for 9 hours. What the fuck did you talk about? | ||
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DoubleZee
Canada556 Posts
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Blisse
Canada3710 Posts
On November 18 2010 05:10 Chill wrote: I am not mentally capable of talking to one person for 9 hours. What the fuck did you talk about? I'm guessing, you talk, 2 mins later she responds, 2 mins later you respond, you have a 540 min convo instead of 30 mins. At least, I had similar conversation, but only for 6 hours. | ||
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