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Active: 6759 users

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Blogs > Kennigit
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Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-22 21:55:43
September 22 2010 20:28 GMT
#1
New Idea:
Commercialized Medicinal Tape Worm - Administered to anyone i deem fatty fat fat. Genetically modified to die after about 3 weeks - Pro Version lasts for 5 weeks (2.5x cost). Causes you to lose 10-15lbs - then buy another tablet/pill so you don't put it back on.

Sell rights to Kraft Foods for xMillion$. Becel Margerine NOW WITH TAPE WORM. Feel less guilt when eating fat food. Big Mac with TW hold the pickles.

Obesity Crisis Solved. Health Crisis Solved.

You're Welcome

****
DoctorHelvetica
Profile Blog Joined July 2008
United States15034 Posts
September 22 2010 20:28 GMT
#2
ill take 10
RIP Aaliyah
Archas
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States6531 Posts
September 22 2010 20:29 GMT
#3
Give the man a Nobel prize.
The room is ripe with the stench of bitches!
s.a.y
Profile Blog Joined October 2007
Croatia3840 Posts
September 22 2010 20:30 GMT
#4
side effects ?
I am not good with quotes
LaLuSh
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Sweden2358 Posts
September 22 2010 20:30 GMT
#5
Mods are so going to close this blog.
G5
Profile Blog Joined August 2005
United States2921 Posts
September 22 2010 20:31 GMT
#6
obesity yes, health no. People who eat shitty will still have unhealthy bodies even if the fat is taken out. You need your vitamins yo. Maybe you can genetically engineer the TW to eat fat and then shit out vitamins. Nice idea anyways.
NukeTheBunnys
Profile Joined July 2010
United States1004 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-22 20:34:33
September 22 2010 20:31 GMT
#7
[image loading]

Some one beat you too it

also its illegal in the US

Edit: woooo post #420, I should have planed this out better
When you play the game of drones you win or you die.
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
September 22 2010 20:32 GMT
#8
Oh fuck. Raped
HwangjaeTerran
Profile Blog Joined October 2009
Finland5967 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-22 20:35:22
September 22 2010 20:34 GMT
#9
I´m sorry but there´s already a trusted and better solution on the market.
They call it: eating less.
But I bet you´d have better PR and pwn the world anyway.

Edit, wat is this 420 post probe ?!
https://steamcommunity.com/id/*tlusernamehere*/
SpicyCrab
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
402 Posts
September 22 2010 20:39 GMT
#10
I like the tag line

"No diets" - Hmm... okay, I guess that would be pretty conveinent.

"No exercise" - Well, who wants to be active any way?

"No baths" - What?
I'm such a baller in my dreams. - HiFriend
Emon_
Profile Blog Joined November 2009
3925 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-23 00:33:12
September 22 2010 20:40 GMT
#11
Edit - Nevermind. All wight loss is good weight loss from an aesthetic pov. Though people should exercise instead of eating and taking worms
"I know that human beings and fish can coexist peacefully" -GWB ||
Revolt
Profile Blog Joined January 2007
United States288 Posts
September 22 2010 20:43 GMT
#12
On September 23 2010 05:30 LaLuSh wrote:
Mods are so going to close this blog.

are you unaware that his nametag is darkblue?
A depth of pure blue just to probe curiosity.
Tabbris
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
Bangladesh2839 Posts
September 22 2010 20:43 GMT
#13
patent that shit Quick!
Alou
Profile Blog Joined March 2010
United States3748 Posts
September 22 2010 20:49 GMT
#14
Pretty sure this has been tried before and due to mutations isn't exactly safe. One can dream though.
Life is Good.
BroOd
Profile Blog Joined April 2003
Austin10833 Posts
September 22 2010 20:50 GMT
#15
Hi, Chilly Mays here. Are YOU sick and tired of trying to lose weight? Impossible diets have your head spinning?

[frustrated man slams frozen diet dinner into the garbage on verge of frustration tears]"THERE'S GOT TO BE A BETTER WAY," he wails in desperation.

Well now there is! Introducing the Diet Worm: a military-grade, scientifically engineered creature that takes all the hassle and frustration out of losing weight. Our proven weight-loss method will have you in Bikini shape in no time! Here's how it works:

[scientific looking demonstration including infra-red model of human]
The worm embeds itself into your small intestine, scarfing down excess food before it hits your notorious "trouble zones," wearing down those fat reserves faster than any diet on the market today. You're free to enjoy life while our patented creature goes to town on all those fatty nutrients.

[hot actress spins and accentuates a toned midsection]
No more meal plans, no more hours at the gym, just pop in a worm and start living the way you've always dreamed. Here's how to order:

Some people may experience side effects when taking tape worm. Frequent side effects include impacted bowels, thinning of the blood, rapid calcium decomposition, vertigo and lupus. Other common side effects include yellowing of the skin and eyes, thoughts of suicide or an increased desire to gamble. In uncommon cases, there have been reported incidents of mania, an increased desire to rape or torture and some hair loss.
ModeratorSIRL and JLIG.
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
September 22 2010 20:52 GMT
#16
And what happens after the people get skinny? You'll get a lot of angry families sueing you for the deaths of their pudgy loved ones. I'd reccomend you declare bankrupty before that happens (first do some tests on subjects to determine how long it takes) and then move to somewhere like Oklahoma to hide.

Oh, and you'll want to bribe the FDA the way macdonalds does to get this on the market again.
Kennigit *
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada19447 Posts
September 22 2010 20:54 GMT
#17
On September 23 2010 05:52 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:
And what happens after the people get skinny? You'll get a lot of angry families sueing you for the deaths of their pudgy loved ones..

I already covered this by genetically modifying the worm to die after 3 weeks.
AoN.DimSum
Profile Blog Joined September 2008
United States2983 Posts
September 22 2010 20:56 GMT
#18
On September 23 2010 05:43 Revolt wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 23 2010 05:30 LaLuSh wrote:
Mods are so going to close this blog.

are you unaware that his nametag is darkblue?


he was kidding...
by my idol krokkis : "U better hope Finland wont have WCG next year and that I wont gain shitloads of skill, cause then I will wash ur mouth with soap, little man."
Trezeguet
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States2656 Posts
September 22 2010 21:06 GMT
#19
Imagine pooping that out after the 3 weeks.

Not to be a "party pooper" but I think that is the chink in the armor.
Trezeguet
Profile Blog Joined January 2009
United States2656 Posts
September 22 2010 21:07 GMT
#20
On September 23 2010 05:56 AoN.DimSum wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 23 2010 05:43 Revolt wrote:
On September 23 2010 05:30 LaLuSh wrote:
Mods are so going to close this blog.

are you unaware that his nametag is darkblue?


he was kidding...

Maybe he wasn't the only one...the again maybe you are too...
skindzer
Profile Blog Joined May 2005
Chile5114 Posts
September 22 2010 21:38 GMT
#21
On September 23 2010 05:30 LaLuSh wrote:
Mods are so going to close this blog.


Yeah, they hate all this blue bar posters.
Its not only the rain that brings the thunder
QuanticHawk
Profile Blog Joined May 2007
United States32157 Posts
September 22 2010 21:45 GMT
#22
STANDARDS HAVE DROPPED SO FAR ON THESE FORUMS
PROFESSIONAL GAMER - SEND ME OFFERS TO JOIN YOUR TEAM - USA USA USA
L_Master
Profile Blog Joined April 2009
United States8017 Posts
September 22 2010 21:51 GMT
#23
On September 23 2010 06:06 Trezeguet23 wrote:
Imagine pooping that out after the 3 weeks.

Not to be a "party pooper" but I think that is the chink in the armor.


Yeah those suckers can get pretty damn big; up to a good twenty of thirty feet; might be a little traumatic for some customers.
EffOrt and Soulkey Hwaiting!
Thoreezhea1
Profile Blog Joined July 2010
United States532 Posts
September 22 2010 22:23 GMT
#24
I'll take 10

then faint/puke as I try to swallow it.

beaten to it though. saw it on a science channel "the great depression 2 hour special"

illegal in most countries. HOWEVER. I don't beleive they genetically modified them to die from lysine deficiency or something or the other. They may sell if they were made to be weak against artificial "killers" and heavily resistant to other viruses and bacteria. If it were legal, then good idea. but we'd have to research genetics to do this probably (or at least tapeworm genetics). Also read michael crightons jurassic park, which was all based on real genetics. so i think i know what i am talking about.
What the Fu- REAPERS?!
mikeymoo
Profile Blog Joined October 2006
Canada7170 Posts
September 22 2010 22:42 GMT
#25
On September 23 2010 05:34 HwangjaeTerran wrote:
I´m sorry but there´s already a trusted and better solution on the market.
They call it: eating less.
But I bet you´d have better PR and pwn the world anyway.

Edit, wat is this 420 post probe ?!

Eat less, move more?
o_x | Ow. | 1003 ESPORTS dollars | If you have any questions about bans please PM Kennigit
Terrakin
Profile Blog Joined December 2009
United States1440 Posts
September 22 2010 22:45 GMT
#26


was going to put South Bronx Parasite Diet, but found this instead.
Fame was like a drug. But what was even more like a drug were the drugs.
disciple
Profile Blog Joined January 2008
9071 Posts
September 22 2010 22:47 GMT
#27
you will end up with a lot of skin just waving around and submitting to the power of gravity. you have to design another worm to eat the extra skin
Administrator"I'm a big deal." - ixmike88
Kenpachi
Profile Blog Joined August 2009
United States9908 Posts
September 22 2010 23:04 GMT
#28
When i think of tapeworms, it gives me chills to think about pooping it out >_>..
Nada's body is South Korea's greatest weapon.
Hidden_MotiveS
Profile Blog Joined February 2010
Canada2562 Posts
September 23 2010 00:29 GMT
#29
On September 23 2010 05:54 Kennigit wrote:
Show nested quote +
On September 23 2010 05:52 Hidden_MotiveS wrote:
And what happens after the people get skinny? You'll get a lot of angry families sueing you for the deaths of their pudgy loved ones..

I already covered this by genetically modifying the worm to die after 3 weeks.

Ahhh.. gotcha, I thought you meant the people eating the tapeworms died.
Lexpar
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
1813 Posts
Last Edited: 2010-09-23 00:58:33
September 23 2010 00:58 GMT
#30
Oh god worst idea ever. I think I have a phobia of parasites, cause I'd have my head over the toilet vomiting for days if the doc told me I had a tapeworm. I don't care that I can just drink some medication to kill it. I need it out now now now. those bugs that lay eggs under your skin? I would indiscriminately scratch that shit out. I don't care about infection spread some penicillin on that I don't care get it ouuuut,

So no. I think you're idea is horrible and disgusting. And now I want to go vomit.
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