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I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
So, sometimes when we are outside, I will give them more balanced opinions like "be humorous and confident when you talk with a girl", and "don't appear too needy right off the bat."
The trouble is once I start saying such things, the girls in my gang start accusing me of ruining innocent guys and transforming them into playboys. Their viewpoint is that if more guys are good in tackling girls, the society will be filled with more and more playboys who dump girls as easily as speedlings slaughter dragoons.
To this I say:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
 
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I'd say that advice on picking up girls is ultimately going to prevent them from being themselves, so ultimately they won't be very happy about it.
Great advice though. Be funnier and more confident. That'll solve some problems...
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i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire.
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sounds like they want to play no rush 15mins
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Point out that shit like this wouldn't be necessary if more girls hit on these so-called nice guys.
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yeah lol op sounds like he has a pretty noob clan. + Show Spoiler +Especially if they let in girls
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Also, in a more serious sense, does this come with ethics? I think chunks of the PUA culture are exaggerated, but it's true that it seems to engender a very manipulative and arrogant mindset, almost needy when it comes to being the top dog.
But there's nothing really wrong with helping guys figure out how to be more confident in their approach, and I'd bet a lot that all those girls frequently chat to each other for relationship advice themselves, soooooo. Double standards ahoy!
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You seem to hit the nail on the head, the girls are just being mean and don't seem to really care about the guys or are straight up lying. Don't listen to them, theres a difference between a "playboy" pickup artist and someone that can understand the basic fundamentals of attraction and apply them to his life.
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On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
You're doing the right thing. There are too many guys who don't know how to attract a girl.
Not enough charming guys out there ^^, so they never get a chance.
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On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote:
I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
So, sometimes when we are outside, I will give them more balanced opinions like "be humorous and confident when you talk with a girl", and "don't appear too needy right off the bat."
The trouble is once I start saying such things, the girls in my gang start accusing me of ruining innocent guys and transforming them into playboys. Their viewpoint is that if more guys are good in tackling girls, the society will be filled with more and more playboys who dump girls as easily as speedlings slaughter dragoons.
To this I say:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
OKK here I go.
Firstly, these girls do not know what they're talking about, I don't know how old they are but it's very likely that they what they are saying they completely wouldn't follow up on. Girls like this say this type of crap, then if they somehow stumble upon a nice guy boyfriend within a month they are bored to hell because the guy is no challenge. Girls go for men who are confident with who they are, are comfortable with being sexual beings and aren't passive and submissive. They'll say these things but it's already there in their feminine nature and their DNA that they need and are attracted to masculinity and dominating aggressive behaviour. They need to man to take control. But don't bother wasting your time trying to get those girls to come around to your argument.
to help your friends just fill them up with confidence, remove their fear of rejection and teach them to take is as a learning experience. Teach them that the focus isn't about getting the girl it's about being the man the girl NEEDS to get. Teach them that they should be thinking it's the girls loss if things don't work and they're the FUCKING MAN. They need to be confident, funny, casual and comfortable and with a certain cockiness. Tell them NOT to buy the girl anything, you split the bill. You don't buy them any drinks, or you say "would you like a drink", "go buy one then". If they're just picking them up tell them to close it by telling the girl to write her phone no. down, then GTFO. then tell them to call her like a week later. Though you might already know all this shit.
but yeh don't bother with those girls that are saying nice guys this nice guys that because they're fucking lying.
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Thanks for the support from many of you guys, I always felt that what i was doing was right but I wanted a more neutral opinion, and I felt Tl net was quite smart.
Btw, I'm pretty touched by your story baller, I really really really seldom hear of success stories like that.
One final question? How come my blog title changes by itself? Can it evolve or something?
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On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote:
i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire.
would have taken no time if you acted the way I mentioned, man and you're called "baller" too.
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On March 23 2010 23:00 noobilly wrote:
Thanks for the support from many of you guys, I always felt that what i was doing was right but I wanted a more neutral opinion, and I felt Tl net was quite smart.
Btw, I'm pretty touched by your story baller, I really really really seldom hear of success stories like that.
One final question? How come my blog title changes by itself? Can it evolve or something?
exactly, where's Rekrul he's usually fairly on top of this shit.
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United States22883 Posts
On March 23 2010 22:56 Zurles wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote:
I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
So, sometimes when we are outside, I will give them more balanced opinions like "be humorous and confident when you talk with a girl", and "don't appear too needy right off the bat."
The trouble is once I start saying such things, the girls in my gang start accusing me of ruining innocent guys and transforming them into playboys. Their viewpoint is that if more guys are good in tackling girls, the society will be filled with more and more playboys who dump girls as easily as speedlings slaughter dragoons.
To this I say:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
OKK here I go. Firstly, these girls do not know what they're talking about, I don't know how old they are but it's very likely that they what they are saying they completely wouldn't follow up on. Girls like this say this type of crap, then if they somehow stumble upon a nice guy boyfriend within a month they are bored to hell because the guy is no challenge. Girls go for men who are confident with who they are, are comfortable with being sexual beings and aren't passive and submissive. They'll say these things but it's already there in their feminine nature and their DNA that they need and are attracted to masculinity and dominating aggressive behaviour. They need to man to take control. But don't bother wasting your time trying to get those girls to come around to your argument. ... but yeh don't bother with those girls that are saying nice guys this nice guys that because they're fucking lying.
Your post is total horse shit. I won't dispute that confidence is attractive, but it's not because of DNA or "feminine nature" and the need to be subdued by man. It's a social thing, that confidence is attractive, and it's not even true for all women.
Normally, I don't point to syntax but I think it's rather telling that you constantly refer to just 'girls' and 'men.'
To the OP, you can be a nice guy and still be confident. That's what they need to learn, and it doesn't involve playing games. Flirting is one thing, but playing games doesn't help you get into a mature relationship. The advice you're giving is pretty solid, it doesn't sound like you're crossing the line of doing anything that sounds like a playboy.
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On March 23 2010 23:01 Zurles wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote:
i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire. would have taken no time if you acted the way I mentioned, man and you're called "baller" too.
nah, if i didnt go the friend route it wouldnt have happened. like being there for her when her bf was an asshole... she was on the phone with her boyfriend, shes upset, going off about something that he said because he doesnt get her humor like i do. i knew that if she could just the one who understands her and ive been here all along so she could see that she belonged with me.
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Don't listen to Zuries. He's destined to be a virgin forever if he does what he preaches. People who think confidence equals acting like an asshole completely misses the point.
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Get money.
Fuck bitches.
Smoke trees.
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On March 23 2010 23:17 baller wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2010 23:01 Zurles wrote:On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote:
i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire. would have taken no time if you acted the way I mentioned, man and you're called "baller" too. nah, if i didnt go the friend route it wouldnt have happened. like being there for her when her bf was an asshole... she was on the phone with her boyfriend, shes upset, going off about something that he said because he doesnt get her humor like i do. i knew that if she could just the one who understands her and ive been here all along so she could see that she belonged with me.
WHAT IF I SAY SHE'S NOT LIKE THE OTHERS?
WHAT IF I SAY SHE'S NOT JUST ANOTHER ONE OF YOUR PLAYS?
YOU'RE THE PRETENDER
WHAT IF I SAY THAT SHE'LL NEVER SURRENDER?
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On March 23 2010 23:08 Jibba wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2010 22:56 Zurles wrote:On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote:
I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
So, sometimes when we are outside, I will give them more balanced opinions like "be humorous and confident when you talk with a girl", and "don't appear too needy right off the bat."
The trouble is once I start saying such things, the girls in my gang start accusing me of ruining innocent guys and transforming them into playboys. Their viewpoint is that if more guys are good in tackling girls, the society will be filled with more and more playboys who dump girls as easily as speedlings slaughter dragoons.
To this I say:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
OKK here I go. Firstly, these girls do not know what they're talking about, I don't know how old they are but it's very likely that they what they are saying they completely wouldn't follow up on. Girls like this say this type of crap, then if they somehow stumble upon a nice guy boyfriend within a month they are bored to hell because the guy is no challenge. Girls go for men who are confident with who they are, are comfortable with being sexual beings and aren't passive and submissive. They'll say these things but it's already there in their feminine nature and their DNA that they need and are attracted to masculinity and dominating aggressive behaviour. They need to man to take control. But don't bother wasting your time trying to get those girls to come around to your argument. ... but yeh don't bother with those girls that are saying nice guys this nice guys that because they're fucking lying. Your post is total horse shit. I won't dispute that confidence is attractive, but it's not because of DNA or "feminine nature" and the need to be subdued by man. It's a social thing, that confidence is attractive, and it's not even true for all women. Normally, I don't point to syntax but I think it's rather telling that you constantly refer to just 'girls' and 'men.' To the OP, you can be a nice guy and still be confident. That's what they need to learn, and it doesn't involve playing games. Flirting is one thing, but playing games doesn't help you get into a mature relationship. The advice you're giving is pretty solid, it doesn't sound like you're crossing the line of doing anything that sounds like a playboy.
Actually, sir, your post is horse shit. It's a social thing that has been there since the dawn of time and always will be there, same thing as feminine nature don't you think. Even with people that are conditioned to think and say certain ways it doesn't change what they are, we're in a day and age of women empowerment where women can be whatever they want. That doesn't mean you lost your interest and natural attraction to all things feminine.
And yes to the OP you can be a nice guy and still be confident. A straight up jerk isn't what they should be aiming to be, I focus on that because They clearly have already watched enough sappy romantics movies to know how to do that crap. You need to do that stuff very few and far between, because the second you let them walk over you they lose interest and they're pretty soon gonna go.
and
"Flirting is one thing, but playing games doesn't help you get into a mature relationship" I'm not talking about playing games, i'm talking about changing yourself into a person who naturally acts this way confidently around women. Flirting and meeting lots of women is required to meet someone that you want to have a long term relationship with. The behaviour you are trying to promote is more likely going to have them settle for whatever they can get, get emotionally entangled, lose too much of their masculinity and end up boring the hell out of her, she leaves, he cries, stage 1 again.
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United States22883 Posts
On March 23 2010 23:49 Zurles wrote:Show nested quote +On March 23 2010 23:08 Jibba wrote:On March 23 2010 22:56 Zurles wrote:On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote:
I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
So, sometimes when we are outside, I will give them more balanced opinions like "be humorous and confident when you talk with a girl", and "don't appear too needy right off the bat."
The trouble is once I start saying such things, the girls in my gang start accusing me of ruining innocent guys and transforming them into playboys. Their viewpoint is that if more guys are good in tackling girls, the society will be filled with more and more playboys who dump girls as easily as speedlings slaughter dragoons.
To this I say:
"I'm actually doing you girls a favor. These guys are nice guys and they can't get girls now, so if they can they are more likely to treat those girls nicely compared to the current crop of playboys in the market, right? So now I'm just trying to level out the playing field for nice guys who are less experienced with girls."
The girls are not convinced by my argument though. What do you guys think?
OKK here I go. Firstly, these girls do not know what they're talking about, I don't know how old they are but it's very likely that they what they are saying they completely wouldn't follow up on. Girls like this say this type of crap, then if they somehow stumble upon a nice guy boyfriend within a month they are bored to hell because the guy is no challenge. Girls go for men who are confident with who they are, are comfortable with being sexual beings and aren't passive and submissive. They'll say these things but it's already there in their feminine nature and their DNA that they need and are attracted to masculinity and dominating aggressive behaviour. They need to man to take control. But don't bother wasting your time trying to get those girls to come around to your argument. ... but yeh don't bother with those girls that are saying nice guys this nice guys that because they're fucking lying. Your post is total horse shit. I won't dispute that confidence is attractive, but it's not because of DNA or "feminine nature" and the need to be subdued by man. It's a social thing, that confidence is attractive, and it's not even true for all women. Normally, I don't point to syntax but I think it's rather telling that you constantly refer to just 'girls' and 'men.' To the OP, you can be a nice guy and still be confident. That's what they need to learn, and it doesn't involve playing games. Flirting is one thing, but playing games doesn't help you get into a mature relationship. The advice you're giving is pretty solid, it doesn't sound like you're crossing the line of doing anything that sounds like a playboy. Actually, sir, your post is horse shit. It's a social thing that has been there since the dawn of time and always will be there, same thing as feminine nature don't you think. Even with people that are conditioned to think and say certain ways it doesn't change what they are, we're in a day and age of women empowerment where women can be whatever they want. That doesn't mean you lost your interest and natural attraction to all things feminine.
Pray tell, what is the essential feminine nature?
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EPT
