On March 23 2010 23:28 KissBlade wrote: Don't listen to Zuries. He's destined to be a virgin forever if he does what he preaches. People who think confidence equals acting like an asshole completely misses the point.
Assholes don't get anywhere, being confident definitely doesn't equal being an asshole. What I said applies to people who are way too mr nice guy all the time, it usually takes something like that said to them to get them out of the brainwashing they have.
I don't know about 'essential feminine nature', but everything in life works better if you're relaxed, centered, and confident. Human interaction is no exception.
Zurles has a point. There is an essential feminine nature if you think of it, and it has all to do with biology. Women get pregnant, and during this time they can't move around well or (in the old times) look for food. Even nowadays I would think working during the last couple months of pregnancy would be challenging to say the least. Yes I know there is government support and mandatory paid pregnancy leave but those are modern things, it doesn't change the fact that the female brain is hardwired over eons of evolution to prefer a man who can protect and feed her when she is pregnant and out of action, which a certain amount of confidence and toughness would help with.
Except in the countless cultures, including early American culture, where women still worked up to and directly after pregnancy? Furthermore, you're talking about evolutionary psychology, which is also horse shit.
Please show us some of this hardwiring. You could win a Nobel prize for the discovery.
I can't quite open a girl's skill and point to the hardwiring, but I have seen surveys which show that girls tend to prefer taller guys. Sports heroes, who tend to be big and muscular, get lots of girls as well, which seems to somewhat correlate to the animal kingdom's female preference for the fittest male. Of course I am not claiming this is absolute or that all women behave this way, it's just a general tendency.
Women in previous cultures may have been able to work up to pregnancy, but if you are arguing that a women in the final stages of pregnancy can defend herself against predators/hostile people as well as usual, I will have to disagree on that.
On March 24 2010 00:08 noobilly wrote: I can't quite open a girl's skill and point to the hardwiring, but I have seen surveys which show that girls tend to prefer taller guys. Sports heroes, who tend to be big and muscular, get lots of girls as well, which seems to somewhat correlate to the animal kingdom's female preference for the fittest male. Of course I am not claiming this is absolute or that all women behave this way, it's just a general tendency.
Two thousand years ago fat chicks were considered hot. There is no biological imprint there, only societal. You're making a CharlieMurphy-esque argument here.
Women in previous cultures may have been able to work up to pregnancy, but if you are arguing that a women in the final stages of pregnancy can defend herself against predators/hostile people as well as usual, I will have to disagree on that.
Do you really think getting attacked by predators was a common cause of death 1, 2, 5, 10,000 years ago? I'm not even talking about complex civilizations like Ancient Egypt or Greece. People get together in bands and poke things with sharp sticks. Then they die of disease/starvation/etc. Not because a saber tooth tiger attacked them.
On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote: i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire.
would have taken no time if you acted the way I mentioned, man and you're called "baller" too.
nah, if i didnt go the friend route it wouldnt have happened. like being there for her when her bf was an asshole... she was on the phone with her boyfriend, shes upset, going off about something that he said because he doesnt get her humor like i do. i knew that if she could just the one who understands her and ive been here all along so she could see that she belonged with me.
wtf.... why is this guy quoting lyrics from taylor swift.... i can't even tell if your story is true or not anymore. a situation like yours never turns out well because you usually get established forever in the friend-zone by then and its pretty much gg... WTF trolling??
It always annoy me when I see the "Being more confident" bullshit advice. Confidence is just a consequence of being good at what you are doing. Basically, girls wants good looking, wealthy and intelligent guys (being funny is a sign a intelligence). Just work on this 3 things and confidence will come naturally. Acting like a "bad guy" is also kinda stupid. Girls are attracted by the best guys, best guys can act like a douche and don't care because they can have any girl any way. But if you are just average and behave like you are the shit, you won't have any success. A fat girl wouldn't be more attractive if she wore tight clothes and spoke like hot girls do. But she would if she worked hard to loose weight.
On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote: i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire.
would have taken no time if you acted the way I mentioned, man and you're called "baller" too.
nah, if i didnt go the friend route it wouldnt have happened. like being there for her when her bf was an asshole... she was on the phone with her boyfriend, shes upset, going off about something that he said because he doesnt get her humor like i do. i knew that if she could just the one who understands her and ive been here all along so she could see that she belonged with me.
wtf.... why is this guy quoting lyrics from taylor swift....
On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote: I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
That's NOT being nice. That's being a damn stalker. Tell them to try treating the girls more like a friend.
On March 24 2010 00:02 Jibba wrote: Except in the countless cultures, including early American culture, where women still worked up to and directly after pregnancy? Furthermore, you're talking about evolutionary psychology, which is also horse shit.
Please show us some of this hardwiring. You could win a Nobel prize for the discovery.
lol.
So women are exactly the same as men. Just completely different.
Firstly women are far more emotionally complicated than men.
They have more of a need for drama.
on the whole women aren't as self confident about life as men are, you assume that the good looking girl is confident in herself but she knows her looks are going to fade, her value comes from how much she feels desired, men's are from how useful and needed we are.
Women are less self-reliant than men as well, women are almost exclusively the buyers of relationship and self help books.
Women are naturally nurturing, when it isn't demanded or taken for granted, especially after she's found feelings for you.
Women don't want it too easy either, they want to roller-coaster ride of emotions, they say they don't want to play games, but they initiate emotional games alll the time, they're lying.
Also men usually learn to use their physical power where women are far more likely to use their sexual attractiveness or social skills as their power.
I'm not trying to attack your character here but if you want to know more, go educated yourself, you are assuming you know things that you know nothing about.
On March 24 2010 00:08 noobilly wrote: I can't quite open a girl's skill and point to the hardwiring, but I have seen surveys which show that girls tend to prefer taller guys. Sports heroes, who tend to be big and muscular, get lots of girls as well, which seems to somewhat correlate to the animal kingdom's female preference for the fittest male. Of course I am not claiming this is absolute or that all women behave this way, it's just a general tendency.
Two thousand years ago fat chicks were considered hot. There is no biological imprint there, only societal. You're making a CharlieMurphy-esque argument here.
Women in previous cultures may have been able to work up to pregnancy, but if you are arguing that a women in the final stages of pregnancy can defend herself against predators/hostile people as well as usual, I will have to disagree on that.
Do you really think getting attacked by predators was a common cause of death 1, 2, 5, 10,000 years ago? I'm not even talking about complex civilizations like Ancient Egypt or Greece. People get together in bands and poke things with sharp sticks. Then they die of disease/starvation/etc. Not because a saber tooth tiger attacked them.
Well, the size of women preferred may have varied, but studies show that the waist-hip ratio stay the same. As for no predators, that might be the case, but how about other violent people?
On March 23 2010 22:35 noobilly wrote: I have a few friends who are nice, decent guys but are completely inexperienced with girls. What is worse is that they buy the crap that comes from Korean drama, such as "calling twenty times a day will make girls like you", and "if you buy enough expensive stuff, your sincerity will touch her heart."
That's NOT being nice. That's being a damn stalker. Tell them to try treating the girls more like a friend.
You need to assert that you aren't just an "emotional tampon" to them, or your gonna get friend zoned.
Be natural is my only advice. Seriously if you're trying to act cool and be someone who is not you, eventually the girl will find out and sooner or later the relationship will reach its end. If you're looking for a one-night stand, sure go ahead do whatever it takes to shag the shit outta her and then leave next morning. OR you could always be yourself (being a little bit more open helps), and love will find you (I have a goose bump after typing that line ... -_-).
On March 24 2010 00:18 loupouk wrote: It always annoy me when I see the "Being more confident" bullshit advice. Confidence is just a consequence of being good at what you are doing. Basically, girls wants good looking, wealthy and intelligent guys (being funny is a sign a intelligence). Just work on this 3 things and confidence will come naturally. Acting like a "bad guy" is also kinda stupid. Girls are attracted by the best guys, best guys can act like a douche and don't care because they can have any girl any way. But if you are just average and behave like you are the shit, you won't have any success. A fat girl wouldn't be more attractive if she wore tight clothes and spoke like hot girls do. But she would if she worked hard to loose weight.
Ofcourse, It doesn't matter how you say it. Though you could be confident in those things and still have little social confidence around women. You don't have to be amazingly good looking, if you are looking as good as you can, then you look good enough. It's not money that they necessarily want either, it's more that the attractive features they see in a man have usually made that man wealthy already. There's also many different types of intelligence and being funny would be classed under that, but you need to be socially intelligent as a big part.
On March 23 2010 22:40 baller wrote: i got my girlfriend Claire by going the friends first nice guy route. i first met her in class and she became friends with me mainly because i was good at the subject and took notes for her when she wasnt there. then we talked a lot on internet chat and i listened to all her complaints about the guys she dated, wondering when she will realize i was the one for her. even one time when her boyfriend canceled on her, i took her out to a movie and paid for everything, it was very "date" like but she didnt kiss me or anything at the end.
eventually, after months of doing this, Claire broke up with her bf and i talked to her about it. i was very hopeful that she'd finally notice me, but she dated another guy who was just as big an asshole right away. i was sad, but i didnt end our friendship -- she was too important to me. then for her birthday, she was sick and very sad. her new bf got her some shitty flowers and candy, but i made her this DVD with all her favorite songs and filmed her favorite locations around the city. i spent hours on it. she finally realized that she was with the wrong guy.
right before winter break she texted me, breathless and happy that she finally realized it. i was so happy and literally cried in the cab (i was on the way to the airport to go home) when i read the texts that she wanted to be with me. i felt on top of the world and that my months of hardship were finally rewarded. i couldnt wait until after break, so i yelled to the cabby yo homes smell you later, looked at my new girlfriend i was finally there to sit on my throne as the boyfriend of Claire.
EPT
