|
After reading Doctor Helvetica's blog post I looked inwards and realized I had a similar (albeit much more trivial) problem.
I have a hopeless crush on a girl from my hometown. In high school, we were in a lot of classes together, and we even carpooled together since we were neighbors. We were always pretty good friends, but what with so many horny hot-but-shallow high school girls dividing my attention, I never really saw her as anything more than just a good friend.
Now that I'm in college, however, a lot of the "relationships" I thought I had built in high school turned out not to be as resilient as I'd hoped. Some of the people I'd called "friends" only ever idolized me as the genius-kid who got perfect scores on everything, causing their asian parents' wrath. Others, as it turned out, only used me for purposes only distance and cold experience allowed me to see.
So now, well into my sophomore year at college, I'm looking back and realizing how stupid I was for never making a move on this girl, who even now, is a true friend... pure... honest... kind... you name it.
Now the problem:
She goes to school nearby (our hometown), but I now go to school 3000 miles away. Distance and time-zones make communication tedious and a mutual friend has thoroughly advised me in not so many words to drop it because "long-distance relationships don't work."
Secondly, she's smart, very beautiful, and continues to be approached many a time by comparably smart and handsome guys. I'm not going to undersell myself as being an idiot, or being ugly, but I have some serious competition! -__-
Finally, she is Christian. While my parents, I hope jokingly, tell me I'm Buddhist, and I generally claim to be a "Deist," I am effectively atheist. While she is by no means an evangelist, (in fact she is extremely rational, curious, and empathetic to people of all backgrounds) the fact that I'm not Christian pretty much rules out any long-term prospects for a relationship.
Before making this blog post, I was leaning toward our mutual friend's advice... to go on with my life in hopes that one day I might find another... but after reading Dr. Helvetica's post, I looked deep within myself and thought, if only for an instant, that in this big and beautiful world fairy tales do come true. Siblings can be reunited, in both body and spirit... and sometimes love stories do end happily ever after.
So... should I put on my shining armor, mount my passion-propelled rocket-ship, and try to sweep her off her feet?
Or should I accept that pumpkins are just pumpkins, that I'm not her Prince Charming, and that my approach should be like everything else in my life: just... ordinary.
Poll: What should I do?
(Vote): Go for it, but not while sacrificing your convictions!
(Vote): Go for it, and convert to Christianity if you must, since you seem pretty open anyway.
(Vote): Give up while you still have your sanity. Christian girls + Atheist boys = no hope.
Edit: rewrote poll.
  
|
Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship?
|
On January 12 2010 15:23 Thegilaboy wrote:
Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship?
Ehhh... I think the 3rd option of my poll should've been "Convert to Christianity anyway"  .
Anyway, I heard they had great deals at the menagerie of mediocre metaphors, of course.
|
If you're really serious about the relationship (and if you're willing to pursue her than you are), be ready to convert to Christianity because if she's serious about it, you'll have to to get into a marriage. If you're aiming for anything else, not worth it imo.
|
On January 12 2010 15:26 neobowman wrote:
If you're really serious about the relationship (and if you're willing to pursue her than you are), be ready to convert to Christianity because if she's serious about it, you'll have to to get into a marriage. If you're aiming for anything else, not worth it imo.
Haha yeah. I'm reading up on the Bible and I mean, with her out of the equation, I don't really care to be or not to be Christian either way. The stuff seems mostly reasonable so long as it's not taken too literally. I just don't want to jump the gun on this and appear creepy... "Hey.. we should have sex RIGHT NOW because the Lord tells us to be fruitful and multiply  "
|
Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble.
|
On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble.
I don't want to sound like a troll, but what if I'm willing to let my massssssiiiiiiiivvveeee porn collection hold me over until things get more serious?
|
On January 12 2010 15:25 love1another wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:23 Thegilaboy wrote:
Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship? Ehhh... I think the 3rd option of my poll should've been "Convert to Christianity anyway" . Anyway, I heard they had great deals at the menagerie of mediocre metaphors, of course.
Well as an agnostic whose been dating a Christian for a little over 2 years, it really depends on how into being a christian they are, or more importantly how open to how you feel. If they really are open, you find ways to deal and it can be a great thing. But if she's adamant about you converting...I wouldn't advise going down a path you don't fully believe
|
Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about?
|
Go for it just don't make a deal out of religion.
|
On January 12 2010 15:35 love1another wrote:
Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about?
Hahah, oops, I meant wouldn't...
|
On January 12 2010 15:36 Thegilaboy wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:35 love1another wrote:
Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about? Hahah, oops, I meant wouldn't...
Makes perfect sense Duly noted!
|
Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls.
|
Don't do it. Eventually the religion talk is going to happen and something will have to give.
|
On January 12 2010 15:42 resonance wrote:
Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls.
Yikes. I can totally foresee this happening to me :/ Thanks for the input everybody, I'm revising my poll.
|
Long story short, i started going out with my current GF as an agnostic. Somewhere along the line, I've turned Christian. Things are looking good, and since she isn't super devout or anything (and a non-churchgoer), it worked out well.
If you can forsee yourself doing something similar to that, then go for it. Otherwise...uh...in the long run things can get sticky.
|
listen to "i make them good girls go bad" by cobra starship and fuck shit up.
|
On January 12 2010 15:42 resonance wrote:
Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls.
lol christian girls = Yes for a long time relationship
= no for a one night stand~
so for me the choice is obvious #1
|
Convert her to atheism with your amazing charm and wit
|
It depends on how serious you are about her. I wouldn't dive into it if you jsut want some tail
|
On January 12 2010 16:11 Meta wrote:
Convert her to atheism with your amazing charm and wit
I didn't even consider this.
Edit:
 Having considered this, I think it's a terrible idea.
|
United States42668 Posts
I don't get how Christianity is the problem here, not the 3000 miles. :S
|
Do it, but only if you hate sex
|
On January 12 2010 16:15 KwarK wrote:
I don't get how Christianity is the problem here, not the 3000 miles. :S
good call.
after all is said and done it still boils down to how much time u 2 spend with each other and whether the time spent is good. if religion is going to be a big factor it'll show up anyway so no point bothering about it if you don't contact her regularly
|
Go for it..
religion always bows down before love.
|
Thinking entirely of the religious issue here, i'm sure there are other concerns:
It really depends on whether they see their belief in God as being a core part of who they are, or simply as an auxilary. If it's the former, you really shouldn't get yourself into it. I'm sure she's very nice, so you'll get attached, then it will come between you in a big way. You're setting yourself up for a fall unless you feel able to make yourself believe in God. I tried and I tried for her, but I failed.
|
to be honest, I agree with your mutual friend in that long distance relations don't work (or they only work like 0.0000001% of the time)
Other than that, I suggest you do some research about Christianity first before you consider.
|
Thank you everybody for the heartfelt advice. Lol at the hating sex part though
|
Don't bother. You'll get bored after two weeks.
|
If you are already having doubts just based solely on her relationship
it might not work out so well ;p
|
IMO you do not choose your belief system based on some person.
|
faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. Dun let Love deter you/your life
|
lol, 3000 miles.
fuck that
|
Give it a try. Either it works or it doesnt.
|
On January 12 2010 17:46 Robinsa wrote:
Give it a try. Either it works or it doesnt.
Problem happens when it doesn't work and you don't have the heart to end it and you end up dating her for 2 years being miserable
|
intrigue
Washington, D.C9933 Posts
i get chills of horror reading this. save yourself
|
don't consider pursuing. save yourself
|
Dude . . . you're not going to like this comment. In fact, you'll probably get pretty pissed. But I'm saying this in the hopes that 6, 9, 12 months from now you'll remember this post and go "huh . . . damn, that guy was right"
She's not that special. I'm sure she's a wonderful and most definitely attractive girl . . . but not worth it. Please, please don't hurt yourself over this girl. From first, second and third person experience on pretty much this exact situation (you're not unique. I'm sorry, you're not) the odds of this ending anything other than poorly are statistically negligible. And you know what, she's not even that great--a couple years form now, you'll look back and notice all of her flaws that you glossed over in your lovestruck state and be a little embarrassed
If, 50 years from now, they were to write a biography of your life, she might not even warrant a paragraph. I understand that this kind of perspective is impossible to achieve while you're caught up in the infatuation, but you have to trust me . . . this too will pass. If you have an opportunity to hit that . . . then damn, be my guest. But don't break your heart on the jagged rocks of unrequited love. Just not worth it, I promise
|
The distance between the two people call for either a really hollywood-like, dramatic kind of relationship, or, for the more average people, a no-go.
Religion however, shouldn't be a problem. I mean, every religion teaches people to love one another and that love is the greatest (well every religion that I know).
|
ask her what would jesus do? Then remind her that jesus liked to party (turning water into wine and all that)
|
Religion is a fucking huge deal for these christians. I tried to get over that hump several times and it just doesnt work. It always came down to the fact that i was a godless heathen and trying to turn her to the dark side. its like i was fucking darth vader.....just keep searching and youll find her. it happened to me and i then i had to move from atlanta to tunica 2 weeks later. so instead of spending all my time with this amazing girl....im here dreaming about her every night wishing i was laying next to her instead of alone in the middle of a cotton field degen town. FUCK im depressed now. if its gonna be a long distance thing....shes gotta be the one and shes gotta be on your level (state of mind/politics/religion).....even then its brutal....trust me.
|
On January 12 2010 17:49 TimmyMac wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 17:46 Robinsa wrote:
Give it a try. Either it works or it doesnt. Problem happens when it doesn't work and you don't have the heart to end it and you end up dating her for 2 years being miserable
doing that and spitting on girls would mean the same thing: you're an idiot. so just don't do it.
|
Snet
United States3573 Posts
So she's a gorgeous girl who is constantly being approached by men and you want to start a LDR with her?
???
|
What the fuck is the problem with American Christians???!!
I don't know any christian here who would not date someone only because he's not of the same belief, always seems like something that doesnt happen anymore since medieval times...
@OP I don't really get it, she's 3000 miles away? then what's the point anyways? How often would you even get to see here
|
long distance relationships seriously don't work. you will have to move to where she is sooner or later if you really want to give this a shot. my advice is to wait after you graduate.
|
I'd say go for it if you feel it is what you want to do. From personal experience, I can tell you that a long distance relationship is hard and probably more likely than not, it will not work out. But that is not to say that persuing such a relationship is not worth it if you really like this person
Also, religion is somewhat of an obsticle, but it doesn't have to be a huge one if you both end up with the right attitude to it and respect each other's thoughts, feelings and ideas. You also have to deal with their friends and family who will be predominantly Christian. If you are unlucky you may have friends and family yourself who would not approve. But remember that this applies even when you are of the same faith.
In the end though, this is your decision. You should already be somewhat aware of the challenges involved and you also know yourself (and surely going through something like this will teach you more about yourself too). There won't be a proper fairy tale ending without some dragons, pits of doom and evil villains on the way.
|
On January 12 2010 19:36 7mk wrote:
What the fuck is the problem with American Christians???!!
|
On January 12 2010 20:14 Zoler wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 19:36 7mk wrote:
What the fuck is the problem with American Christians???!!
For emphasis
|
On January 12 2010 19:36 7mk wrote:
What the fuck is the problem with American Christians???!!
I don't know any christian here who would not date someone only because he's not of the same belief, always seems like something that doesnt happen anymore since medieval times...
@OP I don't really get it, she's 3000 miles away? then what's the point anyways? How often would you even get to see here
This ties in well with the opinion I'd like to give.
If religion is a concern to you, what you should be thinking about is not religious BELIEF, but religious TOLERANCE.
Depending on the level of religious tolerance, it's possible for a complete atheist to date a faithful Christian. As long as there is a mutual understanding that love and commitment to one another is the most important aspect of the relationship, there will be a gradual mutual respect that develops over time, aside from an occasional debate or two.
However, if both people hold their beliefs with zealous conviction, there can be arguments even if both people are in the same Christian denomination. Even within the exact same denomination, two people may have a different interpretation of the Bible and a different approach to faith, which can lead to a huge conflict in moral standards as well as arguments on salvation and "what does Christ preach?" As a simple example, you'll find some Christians who believe that gay people should be shunned and you'll find people in the same denomination who feel that all people should be respected and loved regardless of their beliefs or values.
Unfortunately, a lot of Americans are very close minded about their beliefs, and this applies to atheists as well as Christians. I think a lot of people in our culture have an obsession with "being right," to the point that they must insult and bash any beliefs not congruent with their own. That is why I feel that tolerance is ultimately more important than the beliefs themselves.
Though like a lot of people said, I would say that the distance is a much bigger factor than the issue of beliefs. Distance in general puts a huge strain on a relationship, but if you can put up with it (as well as whatever hurdles might arise from differences in beliefs) then it can work out. Just be ready for both sides to make sacrifices for the long term benefit.
|
On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble.
what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits.
|
On January 12 2010 21:49 Piste wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits.
You're talking to an American
|
yea as a lot of people would tell you, religious differences are a BIG problem. you never seem to understand the degree until your 6 month into the relationship and your gf starts to have long conversations with you to get you to see the light.
i tihnk the people that tell you to go for it have not been in this situation. i think only people who knows people with religious differences or are in a relationship themselves can comment.
if this girl is REALLY seriously religious, and your not, its a big issue.
|
If you like her go for it. I mean if you're being yourself anyway and she likes you then theres no reason for beliefs to mess that up, even if there are occasional conflicts over what you want to do.
|
You should be more optimistic imo..
Love conquers all!
+ Show Spoiler +Ok, maybe not, but you'll feel terrible knowing that you didn't even try.
|
And exactly what makes you think you can't have a relationship with a christian girl? I'm together with my girlfriend for 3 years now and there has never been any problem concerning religion whatsoever. The fact that she goes to church on sunday means you can't have a relationship? Come on.
|
On January 12 2010 15:17 love1another wrote:
Before making this blog post, I was leaning toward our mutual friend's advice... to go on with my life in hopes that one day I might find another... but after reading Dr. Helvetica's post, I looked deep within myself and thought, if only for an instant, that in this big and beautiful world fairy tales do come true. Siblings can be reunited, in both body and spirit... and sometimes love stories do end happily ever after.
So... should I put on my shining armor, mount my passion-propelled rocket-ship, and try to sweep her off her feet?
Or should I accept that pumpkins are just pumpkins, that I'm not her Prince Charming, and that my approach should be like everything else in my life: just... ordinary.
omg my good man that was beautiful. this is the kind of prose that make women weep.
|
On January 13 2010 01:12 Khenra wrote:
And exactly what makes you think you can't have a relationship with a christian girl? I'm together with my girlfriend for 3 years now and there has never been any problem concerning religion whatsoever. The fact that she goes to church on sunday means you can't have a relationship? Come on.
No, but if she is serious about her beliefs, then the fact that she believes they will be spending eternal in different places might. For the non-believer, it's a non-issue, but the believer is going to think, "I can't let this person that I love remain 'unsaved,' and spend eternity suffering," and so there can be struggles and conflicts in the future.
Luckily for you, it's more likely that she will fall away from her beliefs than you will be "converted."
|
I'm actually going to skip the religion part all together and tell you that it is probably not worth it just for the fact that you are 3000 miles away. Your mutual friend is absolutely correct. Long distance (especially that long) are not going to work out. I don't understand how people could stand to be months away from your significant other with nothing other than your imigination and a phone.
I think that if there was ever an oppurtunity to just move back home or her to move towards you then and only then should you pursue a relationship. The thing about religion is that if you meet someone who truely does love you then they will not force their opinions on you. If they desire to go to church and you don't then you should be discussing these things before you get too serious and come to some sort of agreement. In this case I don't think any of that matters though cause again you are 3000 miles away from her which completely ruins any sort of healthy relationship you think you could have.
|
What is meant to be is meant to be, you will find her later in life dude.
|
Don't go for it if you value her as a friend. Even if she shared the same beliefs as you, I would tell you not to do so. Even now, if you're citing those beliefs as a troublesome factor for you, then DON'T DO IT.
|
On January 12 2010 18:30 spetial wrote:
Religion is a fucking huge deal for these christians. I tried to get over that hump several times and it just doesnt work. It always came down to the fact that i was a godless heathen and trying to turn her to the dark side. its like i was fucking darth vader.....just keep searching and youll find her. it happened to me and i then i had to move from atlanta to tunica 2 weeks later. so instead of spending all my time with this amazing girl....im here dreaming about her every night wishing i was laying next to her instead of alone in the middle of a cotton field degen town. FUCK im depressed now. if its gonna be a long distance thing....shes gotta be the one and shes gotta be on your level (state of mind/politics/religion).....even then its brutal....trust me.
Sorry to hear that. T_T I'm sure something will work out!
Thanks everybody! So I've drawn a few conclusions:
1.) If it's true love, people will learn to make compromises either way.
2.) Long distance relationships don't work.
And since I'm in no rush, I guess I'll just see how things go over the next few years! If I find another girl along the way, then yippee! But if it turns out what I feel for her is real and there is some reciprocation on her end, I'll give it all the time it needs!
Thanks again! <3
|
|
|
On January 12 2010 21:49 Piste wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits.
do rabbits really?
|
On January 12 2010 21:49 Piste wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits.
Finding an attractive christian girl who is ok with pre-marital sex is like winning the lottery
|
As a Christian guy, I have had similar issues though in somewhat the opposite direction. Though my advice may be inaccurate since, well, she's a girl, I'm not, I'll give you my two cents.
My advice is simple. You mentioned she accepts others' views rationally, politely, etc. Just do the same, assuming you want a long term relationship. Respect her views and opinions. Withthaf prerequisite, you should definitely go for it. Keep in mind though, she may try to "evagelize" you. I don't mean in a Bible thumper way, but maybe ask if you want to go to church, or a Christian outing. I suppose be open minded, and don't try to avoid them because "you're atheist."
|
|
|
On January 13 2010 06:29 Archaic wrote:
As a Christian guy, I have had similar issues though in somewhat the opposite direction. Though my advice may be inaccurate since, well, she's a girl, I'm not, I'll give you my two cents.
My advice is simple. You mentioned she accepts others' views rationally, politely, etc. Just do the same, assuming you want a long term relationship. Respect her views and opinions. Withthaf prerequisite, you should definitely go for it. Keep in mind though, she may try to "evagelize" you. I don't mean in a Bible thumper way, but maybe ask if you want to go to church, or a Christian outing. I suppose be open minded, and don't try to avoid them because "you're atheist."
It's never an ideological problem in the end for people like this. The real problem is they just want to fuck.
|
Not looking good going into this from the outset:
1. long distance relationships are extremely hard enough to maintain as is. But also throw in the fact that...
2. you are atheist and she is christian. Now, there are varying levels of devotion, so my first question would be 'how devout is she'? If she's extremely devout, kiss the relationship goodbye unless you convert to Christianity (the bible strongly recommends that christians marry other christians).
3. How important is sexual compatibility for you? If it is very important, be ready for some serious friction should she decide that she wants to wait until she is married before having sex. I personally won't get married unless I know I'm sexually compatible with my partner, and we have proven that we can live together for at least 6 months. However, you may be different.
Taking these 3 things together into consideration, I would say the chances of having a good, healthy, successful relationship are next to nothing, and as such it would almost be a waste of time pursuing this girl.
|
I would pick the first option, but if you are 3000 miles away that's really not going to work, I don't think.
|
On January 13 2010 06:19 Xenocide_Knight wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 21:49 Piste wrote:On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits. Finding an attractive christian girl who is ok with pre-marital sex is like winning the lottery
Not in Canada.
|
On January 13 2010 09:09 lMPERVlOUS wrote:Show nested quote +On January 13 2010 06:19 Xenocide_Knight wrote:On January 12 2010 21:49 Piste wrote:On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote:
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. what the hell? every christian I know fuck like rabbits. Finding an attractive christian girl who is ok with pre-marital sex is like winning the lottery Not in Canada.
Always did want to move to Canada..
|
Unless she's really religious or something I don't see what the problem is. These days I don't think religion matters much, so that seems like a non-issue to me. Go for it if you think there's a chance.
|
is it really that do or die? can't you just kind of feel out the waters and let it grow into something more?
I know its bitch to say yo, but if she was really worth 3k miles + the discomfort of trying not to offend her religious views, wouldn't you like.... not have to post a blog about it?
|
On January 12 2010 15:17 love1another wrote:
Now the problem:
She goes to school nearby (our hometown), but I now go to school 3000 miles away. Distance and time-zones make communication tedious and a mutual friend has thoroughly advised me in not so many words to drop it because "long-distance relationships don't work."
Long distance relationships don't work. They're just horrible. It takes about 1,000 words to give a brief overview as to why they suck, but I'm pretty sure you can figure most of it out. She's not the only nice/cute girl you'll meet. It's not worth it. Also, different beliefs systems just makes this an even worse idea. Conflicting viewpoints usually don't matter early on (due to the vices of infatuation), but it doesn't take long before they creep up on you.
But hey, since you're actually considering this, like most people end up doing, at least once, you may as well just do it. Ask her to be a slave to your text messages and late night phone calls. Tell yourself that you both don't need to look at other options, ever. Convince yourself that as long as you care about it each other, differences can't tear you apart. After all, you never know how bad of an idea something is until it's you that is neck-deep in shit you've brought upon yourself. Then you'll be like, "What a completely waste of time and emotions, opportunities lost, and so on. I should have listened to those StarCraft guys online." Just promise me when things fail, you won't ever consider this route ever again.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
