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After reading Doctor Helvetica's blog post I looked inwards and realized I had a similar (albeit much more trivial) problem.
I have a hopeless crush on a girl from my hometown. In high school, we were in a lot of classes together, and we even carpooled together since we were neighbors. We were always pretty good friends, but what with so many horny hot-but-shallow high school girls dividing my attention, I never really saw her as anything more than just a good friend.
Now that I'm in college, however, a lot of the "relationships" I thought I had built in high school turned out not to be as resilient as I'd hoped. Some of the people I'd called "friends" only ever idolized me as the genius-kid who got perfect scores on everything, causing their asian parents' wrath. Others, as it turned out, only used me for purposes only distance and cold experience allowed me to see.
So now, well into my sophomore year at college, I'm looking back and realizing how stupid I was for never making a move on this girl, who even now, is a true friend... pure... honest... kind... you name it.
Now the problem: She goes to school nearby (our hometown), but I now go to school 3000 miles away. Distance and time-zones make communication tedious and a mutual friend has thoroughly advised me in not so many words to drop it because "long-distance relationships don't work."
Secondly, she's smart, very beautiful, and continues to be approached many a time by comparably smart and handsome guys. I'm not going to undersell myself as being an idiot, or being ugly, but I have some serious competition! -__- Finally, she is Christian. While my parents, I hope jokingly, tell me I'm Buddhist, and I generally claim to be a "Deist," I am effectively atheist. While she is by no means an evangelist, (in fact she is extremely rational, curious, and empathetic to people of all backgrounds) the fact that I'm not Christian pretty much rules out any long-term prospects for a relationship.
Before making this blog post, I was leaning toward our mutual friend's advice... to go on with my life in hopes that one day I might find another... but after reading Dr. Helvetica's post, I looked deep within myself and thought, if only for an instant, that in this big and beautiful world fairy tales do come true. Siblings can be reunited, in both body and spirit... and sometimes love stories do end happily ever after.
So... should I put on my shining armor, mount my passion-propelled rocket-ship, and try to sweep her off her feet?
Or should I accept that pumpkins are just pumpkins, that I'm not her Prince Charming, and that my approach should be like everything else in my life: just... ordinary.
Poll: What should I do? (Vote): Go for it, but not while sacrificing your convictions! (Vote): Go for it, and convert to Christianity if you must, since you seem pretty open anyway. (Vote): Give up while you still have your sanity. Christian girls + Atheist boys = no hope. Edit: rewrote poll.
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Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship?
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On January 12 2010 15:23 Thegilaboy wrote: Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship? Ehhh... I think the 3rd option of my poll should've been "Convert to Christianity anyway" . Anyway, I heard they had great deals at the menagerie of mediocre metaphors, of course.
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If you're really serious about the relationship (and if you're willing to pursue her than you are), be ready to convert to Christianity because if she's serious about it, you'll have to to get into a marriage. If you're aiming for anything else, not worth it imo.
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On January 12 2010 15:26 neobowman wrote: If you're really serious about the relationship (and if you're willing to pursue her than you are), be ready to convert to Christianity because if she's serious about it, you'll have to to get into a marriage. If you're aiming for anything else, not worth it imo. Haha yeah. I'm reading up on the Bible and I mean, with her out of the equation, I don't really care to be or not to be Christian either way. The stuff seems mostly reasonable so long as it's not taken too literally. I just don't want to jump the gun on this and appear creepy... "Hey.. we should have sex RIGHT NOW because the Lord tells us to be fruitful and multiply "
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble.
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On January 12 2010 15:30 Kennigit wrote: Do. Not. Do. It. Trust me. I'm a christian (albeit a terrible one) and have tried going out with all types of athiests/agnostics (do you know how hard it is to find a christian girl who doesn't mind a little pre marital sex? QUITE HARD!) . It only ends in tears. Save yourself the trouble. I don't want to sound like a troll, but what if I'm willing to let my massssssiiiiiiiivvveeee porn collection hold me over until things get more serious?
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On January 12 2010 15:25 love1another wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:23 Thegilaboy wrote: Go for it dude. If it works great, and if it doesn't you're bound to find somebody else. Also, I don't think her being Christian should be that big of a deal based off of how you described her.
Lastly, where does one go about purchasing a passion propelled rocket-ship? Ehhh... I think the 3rd option of my poll should've been "Convert to Christianity anyway" . Anyway, I heard they had great deals at the menagerie of mediocre metaphors, of course.
Well as an agnostic whose been dating a Christian for a little over 2 years, it really depends on how into being a christian they are, or more importantly how open to how you feel. If they really are open, you find ways to deal and it can be a great thing. But if she's adamant about you converting...I wouldn't advise going down a path you don't fully believe
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Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about?
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Go for it just don't make a deal out of religion.
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On January 12 2010 15:35 love1another wrote: Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about?
Hahah, oops, I meant wouldn't...
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On January 12 2010 15:36 Thegilaboy wrote:Show nested quote +On January 12 2010 15:35 love1another wrote: Wait you would or wouldn't advise going down a path I don't fully believe? I did JSA in high school and one of my favorite hobbies was to argue the side I vehemently disagreed with so as to improve my ability to unbias my rationality. Is this what you're talking about? Hahah, oops, I meant wouldn't... Makes perfect sense Duly noted!
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Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls.
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Don't do it. Eventually the religion talk is going to happen and something will have to give.
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On January 12 2010 15:42 resonance wrote: Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls. Yikes. I can totally foresee this happening to me :/ Thanks for the input everybody, I'm revising my poll.
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Long story short, i started going out with my current GF as an agnostic. Somewhere along the line, I've turned Christian. Things are looking good, and since she isn't super devout or anything (and a non-churchgoer), it worked out well. If you can forsee yourself doing something similar to that, then go for it. Otherwise...uh...in the long run things can get sticky.
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listen to "i make them good girls go bad" by cobra starship and fuck shit up.
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On January 12 2010 15:42 resonance wrote: Oh god, don't do it dude. Christian girls = no if you are anywhere NEAR atheist/agnostic. Read my blog if you are bored which taught me pretty much never to get near christian girls. lol christian girls = Yes for a long time relationship = no for a one night stand~ so for me the choice is obvious #1
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Convert her to atheism with your amazing charm and wit
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It depends on how serious you are about her. I wouldn't dive into it if you jsut want some tail
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