It's summer again.
Since I live in California (which literally translates into Hot Furnace from Spanish) and the blazing desert heats and sun come out again, so do all these fucking pests.
As I write this right now it's 91°F and 2 or 3 flies are constantly circling me searching for food or sex or whatever the fuck do during their meager 3 week lifespan. (contemplate philosophy?)
TL;DR Facts
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An adult female deposits 50 to 100 eggs at a time and about 500 eggs over her lifetime. The eggs are deposited in rotting organic matter. They hatch after about 12 hours and the larvae, or maggots, feed on the rotting organic material. A maggot passes through three larval stages and then forms a pupa, or cocoon. The adult fly emerges from the cocoon. Houseflies typically develop from egg to adult within 10 days.
So anyways, I have been doing some internet researching and found some key things to do and some pretty ingenious methods to controlling the populations of these in your home.
- DEFENSE.
Keep windows and screens and doors secured. Plug cracks with tape or toilet paper. (electric tape works best for screens). Wash fruit, and put it into the fridge or sealed containers. - MACRO.
Clean your shit. Empty all those crumbs out of the toaster, clean those piles of dirty dishes in/near the sink, empty the catbox, remove stagnant water, take out the trash regularly. - ECONOMY.
Keep your base in order. Don't leave windows open longer then they have to be, don't leave doors open when 'you'll be back in 1 second', clean messes as you make them, take a shower you son of a bitch. - MICRO.
These fuckers don't see in normal spectrum of light like we do. They have Ultraviolet vision. Which means they are attracted to light and can see some things we cannot. They are small and dexterous so battling them out in the open is not a good idea. Choose your battles wisely. Fight them in smaller areas or just use other more harass/defensive methods. - OFFENSE.
There are many methods to assaulting the swarm in your home. They range from physical assault, chemical warfare, UV light technology, and even some earth friendly 'Green' methods. The main thing to know is once they get in it's on, So kill em hard and fast before they reproduce.
After skimming that list, I'm sure some of you are curious what exactly some of these offensive capabilities are, right?
1) Fly and insect spray. This shit smells bad, tastes horrible (yes it floats into your mouth, yuk), and generally is expensive and bad for the environment (in one way or another). Most of the time it does the job, great for doing economy raids every day or so on the resource lines. It however, usually isn't cheap and is probably the least cost effective tactic.
2) Ultraviolet Bug Zappers. As stated above, these bugs see in UV and they are attracted to it. They are unaware that it is their doom. These cost power and the light can be annoying via sound or dim illumination at night. They must be strategically placed around the home base as defense.
These work as a defense and preventative measure but do are not as reliable by themselves. These are not as cost effective when compared to other measures.
3) Sticky Fly Paper. This stuff is almost as good as UV light but far more disgusting and invasive. Much cheaper and often more difficult to setup or use. Works decently, but not recommended.
4) Fly Swatter. The age old weapon of mass destruction. The gift that just keeps on giving, or taking depending on your viewpoint. This workhorse will get the job done 99% of the time but really requires heavy micro and timing. The major downsides of this weapon are; cleanup and specific use. You can't usually land a hit in the air. The flies need to be landed. Very cheap and cost effective, but messy and time consuming.
5) Alcohol Spray. Empty out an old spray bottle and fill it with your favorite proof 80% recommended. Many insects burn. Similar to Standard bug spray but much cheaper and less effective. The alcohol spray can even clean your windows streak free in the process, a 2 for 1 is always good! Beware of ignition sources as this shit is flammable and can be dangerous to other animals or small children. Very cost effective and environmentally safe method but still requires decent micro best used in combination with a more defensive measure.
6) Hairspray. Get a really fast drying mist kind (usually comes in metal bottle with 1 press as opposed to plastic squirt type). Aquanet brand works great. This technique will instantly harden their exoskeletons and wings and drop them to the floor like a tiny pebble. The panic and fear they must experience is often enough satisfaction alone. Not a very cheap or safe method and can be messy. Not really recommended unless in a pinch.
7) Goo Trap. This is by far the safest and easiest way to defend.
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It's very simple, heat 2 cups of water (not boil) stir in 1 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of maple syrup, and 1/3 cup of white vinegar. Keep on heat until dissolved. Pour the mixture evenly in thoroughly cleaned out used small jelly/jam jars, yogurt cups, or cut in half fast food cups. Using a rubber band and some cling wrap stretch it over the top of the goo and secure. Poke a half a dozen holes on the top (about the size of a fly). The semi sweet/ semi pungent smell will make them go crazy.
So now that you know what to do, time to get into gear and lay down the law. Jihad onto these foul terrorist shit sucking defilers.