"Your CD key is currently being used by:
BITCH GTFO MAH KEY
Only one registered instance of this application can use your CD key at a time. If you want to play SC, better get your ass over to iCCup and don't bother contacting Blizzard tech support. We're busy resing our temporarily-dead lvl 80 rogues anyways."
Well, shit. Someone must have stolen my key through some sort of magic keygen software that only steals keys of active bnet users. Or maybe it's Richard. Yeah, Dick, nice dick move. You're not getting your $20 back.
In need of amusement, I scrambled over to the TL IRC channel. In a few minutes, I began typing away on the all faithful http://www.teamliquid.net/irc/, trying very hard to contain my frustration at the all-too-common noob-like messages such as "TERRAN R HAX0RD IMBA", and the ensuing pseudo-advice spouted by non-beta holders who give advice based on theorycraft from the patch notes and the completely reliable* SC Wiki. (The same theorycrafters suggested PF expand and using calldown supplies in lieu of MULE all the time because it's "zomg permanent", and casting fungal growth on mineral lines.)
Thus boredom ensued. Having missed the glory of money maps from SC1, I opened scmdraft and substituted the main bases of Python with "fastest" mineral and gas configurations. Satisfied by the complete ruination of a proleague map by the D- plague of $$$$$$$$$$, I began asking people to join the game on iCCup amidst a swarm of comments surrounding the obvious Terran imbalance in SC2.
"Okay," I thought to myself, "seems like people are more focused on SC2 than this, but someone must have seen it. People will start joining soon."
...5 minutes later
<Aristocrat> All join "Python FASTEST" iCCup!
<irbonjwalol> OMG PYTHON AND FASTEST
<anhero32> so what's the cool server right now? West?
<irbonjwalol> MY 2 FAV MAPS
<irbonjwalol> D- PARTY
<GGNORE> COCKPARTY
<over9000> GUYS
<over9000> HOW I COUNTERED
<over9000> RINE AND MEDIVAC
<over9000> BALLS
<GGNORE> LOL BALLS
<irbonjwalol> BALLS
<DStrooper> You should try typing "/nick helper" and follow the instructions if you can't figure out how to get a list of your most recent ladder opponents; it's not like
<NonY_____________> BALLS
<kaitos> BALLS
Curious as to the function of the "/nick helper" statement, I typed it in, half-expecting it to simply change my username to "helper" since IRC commands aren't exactly overloaded. Then the #teamliquid tab suddenly self-immolated and I was presented with a very kind message:
"-:- Error: :Closing Link: helper by wineasy1.se.quakenet.org (G-lined (AUTO: Reserved Nickname (ID: 2b01e3e0)))"
"Oh FFFFU-", I thought. Shit.
G-lined? Goddamn. What the hell just happened?
In vain I attempted to rejoin in the hopes that the duration of the ban was low.
"-:- Error: :Closing Link: Aristocrat by wineasy1.se.quakenet.org (G-lined)"
FSCK THIS! WORST SOFTWARE EVER! Or at least that's what I thought as I contemplated obliterating the keyboard with my fists in a similar manner as a certain angry German kid.
So, note to the readers: Never type "/nick helper". Unless you don't want to use quakenet again.
_____________________
*Hmm, SC Wiki says hydralisks cost "YOUR MOTHER" minerals and do 9999 damage. Sounds about right.