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this might be kind of out of line
but ive found that women are more naturally brought up to be conformative and not question as many things (obviously this isnt the case for all women, but id say the majority (IE MORE THAN HALF FROM PERSONAL EXPERIENCE)) so with something like religion, be prepared to deal with stuff like this.
For some reason they like to limit their pool of guys based on religion.....its their loss... and yours =(. Shes probably a dumb bitch anyway!
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CA10824 Posts
On September 08 2008 12:06 Track wrote: More and more I find there is a trend developing among Christian girls.
I was "talking" seriously with a girl for a long time, a devout Christian. We dated all year, and up into August. Our differing faiths(I'm an agnostic/atheist) were never a point of contention. However, her mother just shared with me that "until [we] share a faith in Jesus Christ there will never be anything substantial as a relationship."
Woow. That pisses me off. Why is it that since I don't believe in the same deity as these women I'm suddenly inferior? Nor is this the first time I've experienced such bigotry! It's happened on at least three different separate occasions. What the hell? it's not a matter of being inferior, it's an irreconcilable difference.
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Kennigit
Canada19447 Posts
On September 08 2008 12:47 LosingID8 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:06 Track wrote: More and more I find there is a trend developing among Christian girls.
I was "talking" seriously with a girl for a long time, a devout Christian. We dated all year, and up into August. Our differing faiths(I'm an agnostic/atheist) were never a point of contention. However, her mother just shared with me that "until [we] share a faith in Jesus Christ there will never be anything substantial as a relationship."
Woow. That pisses me off. Why is it that since I don't believe in the same deity as these women I'm suddenly inferior? Nor is this the first time I've experienced such bigotry! It's happened on at least three different separate occasions. What the hell? it's not a matter of being inferior, it's an irreconcilable difference. This.
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On September 08 2008 12:39 Kennigit wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:12 Mindcrime wrote:On September 08 2008 12:10 Mastermind wrote:On September 08 2008 12:06 Track wrote: More and more I find there is a trend developing among Christian girls.
I was "talking" seriously with a girl for a long time, a devout Christian. We dated all year, and up into August. Our differing faiths(I'm an agnostic/atheist) were never a point of contention. However, her mother just shared with me that "until [we] share a faith in Jesus Christ there will never be anything substantial as a relationship."
Woow. That pisses me off. Why is it that since I don't believe in the same deity as these women I'm suddenly inferior? Nor is this the first time I've experienced such bigotry! It's happened on at least three different separate occasions. What the hell? implicit in most religious teachings is the belief that the follows are some how better than the non followers. If by "most", you mean Christianity and Islam, then yes. Christianity, Islam and Judaism...its because they all follow the teachings of abraham. essentially they are all the same with a few tweaks.
Judaism isn't quite on the same level as Islam and Christianity here. Judaism doesn't proselytize and Judaism doesn't claim that following its 613 Mitzvot is the only path to righteousness.
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I think the annoying thing is that its an irreconcilable difference for one side
I know as an atheist, I wouldnt refuse to date/marry a girl because she was christian, but it certainly doesnt work the same way in reverse
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On September 08 2008 12:39 Folca wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:38 Kennigit wrote:On September 08 2008 12:34 Folca wrote: Christians are almost always very misleaded, such as "Is it right for a lot of Christians to tell people who are non-believers that they're going to hell in attempts to convert them... when Jesus says love your neighbor as yourself?" Christians dont quite understand to have a gentle saying, instead of an almost "hypocrite" sort of talking -.-
:edit: does that make any sense? Keep your generalized bullshit comments to yourself I'll take that as a yes
i agrreee
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On September 08 2008 12:39 Folca wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:38 Kennigit wrote:On September 08 2008 12:34 Folca wrote: Christians are almost always very misleaded, such as "Is it right for a lot of Christians to tell people who are non-believers that they're going to hell in attempts to convert them... when Jesus says love your neighbor as yourself?" Christians dont quite understand to have a gentle saying, instead of an almost "hypocrite" sort of talking -.-
:edit: does that make any sense? Keep your generalized bullshit comments to yourself I'll take that as a yes
Lol. How do you not see what you originally said as a blatant generalization, something with no merit whatsoever?
"Christians don't quite understand--" epic fail.
Also, the "love your neighbor as yourself" hypocrisy argue fails when you realize that, the Christian is trying to save the person, something you'd do for yourself. So, it falls under love. Also a pretty epic fail.
Don't generalize. Trust me, There are Catholic and Christians that very well understand this, from every angle.
As for the OP, It's sad but it's true, and actually quite legitimate.
A lot of people don't want to date people who aren't of the same faith. It's not that odd or wrong in anyway. It's personal preference. Like not dating a smoker. Would you date a muslim? Maybe. Maybe not. I know that as an American there are a lot of skewed vision of Islam floating around, so you might be reserved there. A lot of Americans wouldn't.. how's that very different? (Not a drastic generalization because of the qualifier.)
Some people can't get past certain beliefs, and some people feel more comfortable with people of the same belief. When you're choosing to commit yourself to someone, it's good to assure yourself a deep connection, a deeper connection than you can find somewhere else. The fact that you don't share the faith means that you are missing out on a very powerful connection.
That's not my way of saying you're wrong for not being Christian. Faith, being the most powerful force in the world, has so much power within it, that when you share it with someone, nomatter what the faith is, it's incredibly powerful. It allows you two to connect on a spiritual level aswell.
Anyway, that's my opinion. It happens, and it sorta sucks for you... but it's not wrong.
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On September 08 2008 12:47 LosingID8 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:06 Track wrote: More and more I find there is a trend developing among Christian girls.
I was "talking" seriously with a girl for a long time, a devout Christian. We dated all year, and up into August. Our differing faiths(I'm an agnostic/atheist) were never a point of contention. However, her mother just shared with me that "until [we] share a faith in Jesus Christ there will never be anything substantial as a relationship."
Woow. That pisses me off. Why is it that since I don't believe in the same deity as these women I'm suddenly inferior? Nor is this the first time I've experienced such bigotry! It's happened on at least three different separate occasions. What the hell? it's not a matter of being inferior, it's an irreconcilable difference.
Fuck, his post is just perfect and 1 sentence. I totally got pwned.
Anyway, This.
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On September 08 2008 12:20 Meta wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:18 eshlow wrote:On September 08 2008 12:13 Meta wrote: They don't want their daughter dating a hell-bound heathen, can you really blame them? Strongly disagree. If her parents really think that then they're retarded. A majority of people in the world really do believe this, and I think that it's pretty close-minded of you to call them retarded.
Well I have to disagree with you. It just means that a majority of the world, for lack of a better word, are retarded, conforming, stupid, followers.
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On September 08 2008 13:12 Jonoman92 wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 12:20 Meta wrote:On September 08 2008 12:18 eshlow wrote:On September 08 2008 12:13 Meta wrote: They don't want their daughter dating a hell-bound heathen, can you really blame them? Strongly disagree. If her parents really think that then they're retarded. A majority of people in the world really do believe this, and I think that it's pretty close-minded of you to call them retarded. Well I have to disagree with you. It just means that a majority of the world, for lack of a better word, are retarded, conforming, stupid, followers.
In your opinion, yes.
Regardless, in their mind and according to their religion, he would be going to Hell. Logically, why would they want their daughter to date a man that they believe is Hell bound?
It doesn't matter whether you agree with it or not, but that is where they are coming from logically.
My advice for the OP is that you should talk to your girlfriend and let her make the decision, not her parents making it for her.
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On September 08 2008 13:18 Salv wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 13:12 Jonoman92 wrote:On September 08 2008 12:20 Meta wrote:On September 08 2008 12:18 eshlow wrote:On September 08 2008 12:13 Meta wrote: They don't want their daughter dating a hell-bound heathen, can you really blame them? Strongly disagree. If her parents really think that then they're retarded. A majority of people in the world really do believe this, and I think that it's pretty close-minded of you to call them retarded. Well I have to disagree with you. It just means that a majority of the world, for lack of a better word, are retarded, conforming, stupid, followers. In your opinion, yes. Regardless, in their mind and according to their religion, he would be going to Hell. Logically, why would they want their daughter to date a man that they believe is Hell bound? It doesn't matter whether you agree with it or not, but that is where they are coming from logically. My advice for the OP is that you should talk to your girlfriend and let her make the decision, not her parents making it for her.
I agree with this. I don't know how old you are, but I assume she's old enough that it's entirely her decision. What you have to also understand though, is that if her decision is to listen to her parents, that is her decision.
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On September 08 2008 13:26 Nintu wrote: What you have to also understand though, is that if her decision is to listen to her parents, that is her decision.
Very true.
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On September 08 2008 13:08 Nintu wrote:Also, the "love your neighbor as yourself" hypocrisy argue fails when you realize that, the Christian is trying to save the person, something you'd do for yourself. So, it falls under love. Also a pretty epic fail.
Don't generalize. Trust me, There are Catholic and Christians that very well understand this, from every angle.
Well, apparently most people didn't get the memo that saying something negative ("you're going to hell if you don't believe in Jesus") is generally not a good way to proselytize...
In fact, I don't recall any proselytization in the NT where Jesus said anything remotely similar; the majority if not all the time he treated people with kindness & respect or healed them and then invited them to come follow him..
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It's more like the Bible states two persons become ONE when they reconcile in marrige. And if the person that is Christian, in this case her, means her faith is the most important thing in her life, if this cannot be shared or understood by the one person that she is gonna share the rest of her life, and become one with, what is the point of getting married? This is what most christians look forward too, sharing their personal prayer life and religous life with their partner.
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Amazing, this was such great fodder for a religion war but it didn't erupt. Cool stuff. Anyways, your dilemma with that girl's mom is the same for about 65% of all guys or girls where the other's parents have some beef whether its race, money, or for your case, religion. Its a common occurrence that most of the time works out fine. Also, to solve problems with your gf's mom, you can just lie or say you want to become a Christian if you are willing to trick people and God for love.
I must say though that a lot of people I know have followed girls into churches and became Christians and then subsequently break up, leaving him as Christians but no girl friend, a horrible experience.
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On September 08 2008 13:39 ThePhan2m wrote: It's more like the Bible states two persons become ONE when they reconcile in marrige. And if the person that is Christian, in this case her, means her faith is the most important thing in her life, if this cannot be shared or understood by the one person that she is gonna share the rest of her life, and become one with, what is the point of getting married? This is what most christians look forward too, sharing their personal prayer life and religous life with their partner.
QFT. Well put. Very true and accurate.
This is what most christians look forward too, sharing their personal prayer life and religous life with their partner. Exactly.
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dated this girl 3 years, from day 1 i asked her if religion would be an issue: "No" was always the answer.
we end up going to same college she joins some christian group, in 5 weeks she dumps me because i am not one who believes.
it sucks hard, i can assure you. but as people have stated this post, religion is a big part of their lives and being able to share it is VERY important to them.
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What you said is true but I think you do not have to worry or get pissed off. In fact I believe you can rejoice since you now free to find someone who upholds the same values as you. Everyone has different personal values (even among Christians!). Relationship thrive on agreement. The higher the level of agreement, the more important and stronger the relationship. To Christians, the marriage relationship is 2nd most important other than God, so I am not surprise your friend's mother reacted that way.
Being a Christian is the basic prerequisite when it comes to choosing a potential spouse. It has never been a trend. Generally this advice is a classic safeguard for younger maturing Christians looking for deeper relationships beyond friendship. Naturally your friend's mother wants to be defensive, so stay cool even if she said all that. Besides, you are more likely to impress her by staying cool than to be angry. But it is not the means to the end. Christian or non-Christian, ultimately the couple must work on agreeing major life values with each other. There are situations when 'that irreconcilable difference' was resolved, but the chances are pretty remote as far as I know.
Of coz, its also not about atheists being less superior than Christians. I have known people who are non-Christians and they uphold their own values just as highly as mine. I respect them as people and a couple of them are even my friends. I am a very close long time friend to a girl who is a atheist and we uphold each other with genuine respect. Despite of differences, both of us know exactly the type of partner we want. She currently has a boyfriend and I have my targets (she's not in my list). We even help each other (LOL)
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On September 08 2008 13:34 eshlow wrote:Show nested quote +On September 08 2008 13:08 Nintu wrote:Also, the "love your neighbor as yourself" hypocrisy argue fails when you realize that, the Christian is trying to save the person, something you'd do for yourself. So, it falls under love. Also a pretty epic fail.
Don't generalize. Trust me, There are Catholic and Christians that very well understand this, from every angle. Well, apparently most people didn't get the memo that saying something negative ("you're going to hell if you don't believe in Jesus") is generally not a good way to proselytize... In fact, I don't recall any proselytization in the NT where Jesus said anything remotely similar; the majority if not all the time he treated people with kindness & respect or healed them and then invited them to come follow him..
I think the point is the person saying you're going to hell is not doing it out of spite/anger, but rather out of love. Kinda like a parent telling his kids you're going to get cavities if you dont brush your teeth. Its more of a "I care about you so I'm warning you, even if you don't really want to hear it" sort of thing.
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