We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
On September 01 2015 17:41 Shinon wrote: Let's run with the hypothesis that squirting is indeed not real, how do you explain porn stars like Cytherea? Are you telling me they drink gallons of water just so they can piss all over the place during the shoot?
On September 01 2015 17:41 Shinon wrote: Let's run with the hypothesis that squirting is indeed not real, how do you explain porn stars like Cytherea? Are you telling me they drink gallons of water just so they can piss all over the place during the shoot?
I think thats pretty much exactly what they do.
And the volume of liquid needed would be the same anyway, so this is really a non argument.
On September 01 2015 17:41 Shinon wrote: Let's run with the hypothesis that squirting is indeed not real, how do you explain porn stars like Cytherea? Are you telling me they drink gallons of water just so they can piss all over the place during the shoot?
explains how they do in porn (NSFW-ish). not to say its not a real thing, just that in porn they have ways to fake it
On September 01 2015 19:29 bloodwhore~ wrote: You don't even think squirting is real, you just think they are actively peeing instead? That's some illuminati conspiracy type shit.
I hate to break it to you, but you also cannot slice people's hands off with beams of solid light, despite the Star Wars movies showing it quite convincingly.
yeah i heard porn stars pump water into their vagina or something and they hold it? until the scene allows them to "squirt" but then again this was for the girls who couldnt squirt legitimately
On September 01 2015 22:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: yeah i heard porn stars pump water into their vagina or something and they hold it? until the scene allows them to "squirt" but then again this was for the girls who couldnt squirt legitimately
That's pretty much what the video above said too, some stars can do it, some can't and use water. So it's a thing?
On September 01 2015 18:02 Shinon wrote: I suddenly feel less proud about that time my ex squirted in my face during oral.
On September 01 2015 22:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: yeah i heard porn stars pump water into their vagina or something and they hold it? until the scene allows them to "squirt" but then again this was for the girls who couldnt squirt legitimately
That's pretty much what the video above said too, some stars can do it, some can't and use water. So it's a thing?
On September 01 2015 18:02 Shinon wrote: I suddenly feel less proud about that time my ex squirted in my face during oral.
There is still hope.
That doesn't mean the porn stars that can squirt aren't just peeing, albeit involuntarily and orgasmically.
Which brings me back to my earlier point: why does it matter whether it is pee or not. If the guy and the girl are both enjoying it, who cares whether it is some kind of mystery fluid, pee, or horse shit?
On September 01 2015 21:23 Acrofales wrote: I hate to break it to you, but you also cannot slice people's hands off with beams of solid light, despite the Star Wars movies showing it quite convincingly.
I don't really see how squirting relates to "Dating, how's your luck?" But, whatev.
****The following is for anyone this may apply to****
When it comes to dating, the approach that most "nice" guys have is that they don't have anything to offer the woman. Not anything that matters to her anyway. So now that that's out of the way, you can come to terms with it. Takes a while sometimes.
If you're getting friend zoned or stood up or anything of that sort, you need to stop putting up with it immediately. Have the balls to walk away if she starts giving you the impression that she's using you for free meals, favors not including sexual, or using you as an emotional tampon.
Are you worried that she'll stop talking to you if you do that? Why? What do you have to lose? Is she going to stop *not* sleeping with you?
Quit asking yourself what it is you can do for her that will magically attract her, and start asking yourself if she's worth the hassle. This is how you re-frame your entire game. Isn't your time more important than that? What is she bringing to the table?
while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking. the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business) however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time. theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing
qualifier due to not having any first hand experience, and just seen this on porn where they fill vaginas with cups of water to allow girls to "squirt"
) enough liquid there to merit changing the sheets, regardless of what its exact consistency is.
On September 04 2015 19:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking. the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business) however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time. theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing
You are absolutely correct. My main point is that more men need to treat their time and money as if it has value (because it truly does).
I've seen guys take their date to an expensive steakhouse, spend a large sum of money on parking, appetizers, dessert, etc. As soon as she orders, she proceeds to pull out her cell phone and start texting or facebooking. He's sitting there awkwardly trying to engage her in conversation and she mumbles "yeah", "uh huh", and other various one worded answers until the meal arrives.
Guys in this situation need to get up and leave. But way too many will sit there and take it, and that's a sad sight to behold.
On September 04 2015 19:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking. the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business) however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time. theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing
You are absolutely correct. My main point is that more men need to treat their time and money as if it has value (because it truly does).
I've seen guys take their date to an expensive steakhouse, spend a large sum of money on parking, appetizers, dessert, etc. As soon as she orders, she proceeds to pull out her cell phone and start texting or facebooking. He's sitting there awkwardly trying to engage her in conversation and she mumbles "yeah", "uh huh", and other various one worded answers until the meal arrives.
Guys in this situation need to get up and leave. But way too many will sit there and take it, and that's a sad sight to behold.
I've read about this, specially about USA, but it doesn't happen much here. When a girl gets dinner she is expected to serve the dessert usually (if you know what I mean)
On September 04 2015 19:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking. the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business) however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time. theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing
You are absolutely correct. My main point is that more men need to treat their time and money as if it has value (because it truly does).
I've seen guys take their date to an expensive steakhouse, spend a large sum of money on parking, appetizers, dessert, etc. As soon as she orders, she proceeds to pull out her cell phone and start texting or facebooking. He's sitting there awkwardly trying to engage her in conversation and she mumbles "yeah", "uh huh", and other various one worded answers until the meal arrives.
Guys in this situation need to get up and leave. But way too many will sit there and take it, and that's a sad sight to behold.
I've read about this, specially about USA, but it doesn't happen much here. When a girl gets dinner she is expected to serve the dessert usually (if you know what I mean)
I have lived in Spain, Argentina and Brazil, so know my way around machista latino society. I have never heard of it being customary to have sex on the first date, regardless of whether that date is in a restaurant or elsewhere.
(I am making the assumption that evilfatsh1t is talking about first dates, because if this type of date continues on past the first date, the guy has very serious issues).
Of course, that's not to say that people don't have sex on the first date, when they hit it off. It's just not (ever) an obligation.
Feelsgoodmang to live in Sweden and not needing to worry about having to pay on the first date. I would get immensely shocked if a girl automatically assumed I was going to pay.
I did in fact buy me and the tindergirl ice cream on our first date, she of course offered to pay for it herself but it wasn't that much and she bought the beers the next date.
On September 04 2015 19:04 evilfatsh1t wrote: while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking. the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business) however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time. theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing
You are absolutely correct. My main point is that more men need to treat their time and money as if it has value (because it truly does).
I've seen guys take their date to an expensive steakhouse, spend a large sum of money on parking, appetizers, dessert, etc. As soon as she orders, she proceeds to pull out her cell phone and start texting or facebooking. He's sitting there awkwardly trying to engage her in conversation and she mumbles "yeah", "uh huh", and other various one worded answers until the meal arrives.
Guys in this situation need to get up and leave. But way too many will sit there and take it, and that's a sad sight to behold.
I've read about this, specially about USA, but it doesn't happen much here. When a girl gets dinner she is expected to serve the dessert usually (if you know what I mean)
I have lived in Spain, Argentina and Brazil, so know my way around machista latino society. I have never heard of it being customary to have sex on the first date, regardless of whether that date is in a restaurant or elsewhere.
(I am making the assumption that evilfatsh1t is talking about first dates, because if this type of date continues on past the first date, the guy has very serious issues).
Of course, that's not to say that people don't have sex on the first date, when they hit it off. It's just not (ever) an obligation.
Really hoping Acro is right on the "not an obligation" thing. It really bugs me when guys act like they "deserve" anything sexual, particularly if it's about money/time. If you want to spend money and guarantee sex, visit a prostitute, and recognize that you're treating women like objects.
On the other hand, what's wrong with steak dinners past the fist date? I mean, you gotta think about finances, but if you can afford it, why not? I'm not made of money, but I do what I can (and she does what she can) to make sure we go on lots of great dates. Restaurants, and also cooking dinners for each other, going on picnics at scenic spots (throw in climbing/kayaking), dinner and a movie, going to shooting range, skinny dipping in a river, whatever.