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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on. Posts of the following nature are banned: 1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post. 2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no. 3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture. 4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments. Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. | ||
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Snotling
Germany885 Posts
On August 26 2015 17:39 bloodwhore~ wrote: I'd give it a go. Not sure I would want to do it in my bed though. Perhaps bend her over the desk for easier clean-up. Please pitch the idea to her in the exact same words. :D | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
I most likely wouldn't have accomplished anything now (in terms of sexual actions) anyway since I'm pretty wasted, but I was looking forward to meeting her, at least cuddling and making out. I am alright with this kind of thing happening, but I am not sure if I should be disappointed or not. I could easily choose not care, however if I choose not to care I just grow colder, and compared to normal people I'm already permafrost. On August 26 2015 18:02 Snotling wrote: Please pitch the idea to her in the exact same words. :D That would seem kind of foolish. Edit: "compared to normal people I'm already permafrost." Drunk me is savage! | ||
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
This is a horrible thing to say, but probably the main thing that was putting me off from dating her is that my friends made fun of me every time I would do anything with her. But now I realize that they were primarily saying that because they were immature (None of them were virgins, but only barely, so I guess they still thought sex was funny) and the most vocal one (my roommate) was probably upset about the situation since he never brought any girls back to the room and it felt unfair to him. But now they're a lot better about it and I also believe them not liking her doesn't justify ME not doing anything. Feeling pretty good right now! Anybody have a bad experience doing something like this? | ||
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Impervious
Canada4211 Posts
But on the flip side, the most important thing is to never let yourself wonder "what if?" | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
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Disengaged
United States6994 Posts
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
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Chocolate
United States2350 Posts
On August 28 2015 07:31 Impervious wrote: Yes, I have a bad experience doing something like that. But on the flip side, the most important thing is to never let yourself wonder "what if?" Well, the thing is, I could probably maintain the status quo for a long time, which is basically where we are exclusive with each other but don't really interact much other than at night. In other words, what many men would consider ideal. But I think she probably wants something a little more than that and I kind of do too. I don't really want anything super serious but considering how often we hook up at this point it's pretty weird not to go on an occasional date or something. It's also probably worth mentioning that I've been the first person she has ever done anything more than kissing with, and as far as I know I'm the only one too, so I do feel kind of scummy just keeping her on the back burner for so long | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
I'll be surprised if she doesn't say yes. | ||
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Sickel1
26 Posts
what do I do? | ||
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Sickel1
26 Posts
On August 28 2015 07:23 Chocolate wrote: I'm probably going to start dating my fwb from last year. We've been together every night for about a week now and I'm beginning to realize how much I like her. Last year for some reason I had only found her attractive when I was drunk and thought she was dumb, now I just realize she was just nervous and that I think she's pretty sexy sober too. This is a horrible thing to say, but probably the main thing that was putting me off from dating her is that my friends made fun of me every time I would do anything with her. But now I realize that they were primarily saying that because they were immature (None of them were virgins, but only barely, so I guess they still thought sex was funny) and the most vocal one (my roommate) was probably upset about the situation since he never brought any girls back to the room and it felt unfair to him. But now they're a lot better about it and I also believe them not liking her doesn't justify ME not doing anything. Feeling pretty good right now! Anybody have a bad experience doing something like this? If they're close friends, they're probably similar in personality to you. If all of your friends dislike her, it should be a warning sign about the girl. Take it slowly, take her out a few times but only make it official if you feel the same afterwards. | ||
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Acrofales
Spain18124 Posts
On August 28 2015 08:52 Sickel1 wrote: i hate all of the girls i end up dating and i can't break up with my current girlfriend because i'm fairly sure she'll kill herself. what do I do? Break up with her and urge her to see a psychologist. It sounds like a really shitty situation, and I am really not qualified to give you advice, but being coerced into staying in a relationship sounds rather unhealthy. | ||
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[UoN]Sentinel
United States11320 Posts
On August 28 2015 08:52 Sickel1 wrote: i hate all of the girls i end up dating and i can't break up with my current girlfriend because i'm fairly sure she'll kill herself. what do I do? That's emotional manipulation. Luckily, you're not a professional (unless you are, in which case you already know what to do), and you can refer her to all the resources she needs to stabilize. But seriously, don't stay in a relationship you don't want to be in just to keep her alive. Also, people disagree with me but in my experience the suicide hotline is shit. They made me want to kill myself more, not less. | ||
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B.I.G.
3251 Posts
On August 28 2015 07:50 Chocolate wrote: Well, the thing is, I could probably maintain the status quo for a long time, which is basically where we are exclusive with each other but don't really interact much other than at night. In other words, what many men would consider ideal. But I think she probably wants something a little more than that and I kind of do too. I don't really want anything super serious but considering how often we hook up at this point it's pretty weird not to go on an occasional date or something. It's also probably worth mentioning that I've been the first person she has ever done anything more than kissing with, and as far as I know I'm the only one too, so I do feel kind of scummy just keeping her on the back burner for so long If you are attracted to a girl and she is not: 1) A real hazard to health of body and mind 2) The current love interest of someone you care about or 3) Direct family then passing up on dating or simply sex is almost always a mistake. If your friends tell you she's too ugly or w/e politely tell them to go fuck off and cum in a sock somewhere. | ||
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SCguineapig
Netherlands289 Posts
On August 24 2015 17:16 LemOn wrote: No it's not a clear no. Having an open mindset will help you out a lot. Forget about black and white thinking when it comes to dating. Women will come back in the most random times, sometimes you ask a girl out, she says no, then 2 weeks pass and she's suddenly in touch asking you what's up and swiftly accepts another date invitation. Make sure you clearly specifically state what you want, don't burn any bridges unless it's an ex and you want to move on and you'll be surprised how many women come back to your life. This guy was actually speaking the truth, kind off anyway. So the girl I asked out last week didn't respond to me... until yesterday when she apologised for not responding (apparently she thought she had sent a message which she hadn't). Which came at quite the wrong time because I just started to get over her. Anyway I asked her out again because she still hadn't answered the first time I asked her, but she told me she is interested in someone else. TL DR this lemon speaks the truth, Praise jesus. | ||
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bloodwhore~
1010 Posts
On August 28 2015 22:49 SCguineapig wrote: So the girl I asked out last week didn't respond to me... until yesterday when she apologised for not responding (apparently she thought she had sent a message which she hadn't). Which came at quite the wrong time because I just started to get over her. Anyway I asked her out again because she still hadn't answered the first time I asked her, but she told me she is interested in someone else. So you ask her out on text? She doesn't respond with that she is not interested but instead answers that she is sorry that she didn't respond? Seems terribly odd. Well it's always nice to have some "closure" if you will. | ||
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SCguineapig
Netherlands289 Posts
On August 28 2015 22:59 bloodwhore~ wrote: So you ask her out on text? She doesn't respond with that she is not interested but instead answers that she is sorry that she didn't respond? Seems terribly odd. Well it's always nice to have some "closure" if you will. Well I asked her out through text cuz I fucked up the last opportunity I had to ask her in person, she then didn't respond for almost a week, then yesterday she said sorry cuz she "forgot" to answer me, but she still didn't tell me if she wanted to go on a date or not, so I had to ask her again, after which she said she wasn't interested. but it feels nice to know that dating her is not gonna be a thing. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On August 28 2015 08:52 Sickel1 wrote: i hate all of the girls i end up dating and i can't break up with my current girlfriend because i'm fairly sure she'll kill herself. what do I do? Break up with her instantly, keep it civil, make sure you do it in a way that keeps her confidence up. It's not your responsibility though. | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On August 28 2015 07:50 Chocolate wrote: Well, the thing is, I could probably maintain the status quo for a long time, which is basically where we are exclusive with each other but don't really interact much other than at night. In other words, what many men would consider ideal. But I think she probably wants something a little more than that and I kind of do too. I don't really want anything super serious but considering how often we hook up at this point it's pretty weird not to go on an occasional date or something. It's also probably worth mentioning that I've been the first person she has ever done anything more than kissing with, and as far as I know I'm the only one too, so I do feel kind of scummy just keeping her on the back burner for so long First of all caring what your friends think is a sign of your immaturity - you probably reacted to their remarks too much in the first place. Second, no need to overthink this, no need to spew your feelings, propose a relationship to her or anything. Next time you feel like contacting her or taking her out to do something fun, just do it, not because you feel like you owe it to her or anything but because it's what you genuinely want. And if you don't...keeping her as a fuck buddy's just fine  | ||
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LemOn
United Kingdom8629 Posts
On August 28 2015 23:26 SCguineapig wrote: Well I asked her out through text cuz I fucked up the last opportunity I had to ask her in person, she then didn't respond for almost a week, then yesterday she said sorry cuz she "forgot" to answer me, but she still didn't tell me if she wanted to go on a date or not, so I had to ask her again, after which she said she wasn't interested. but it feels nice to know that dating her is not gonna be a thing. That was obviously bullshit what she texted. And you shouldn't care one bit. But this is all you have to do really, say exactly what you want in a way where you expect to get it. And if you don't, go about your business. She comes back to you, ask again, she rejects you again, move on, only give her the time of the day if she brings it up herself next time. Put yourself out there, do this with loads of women on a consistent basis and you'll get an awesome one where you are compatible in no time, it's all pretty simple really. | ||
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