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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On September 05 2015 02:36 Yoav wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 00:48 Acrofales wrote:On September 05 2015 00:26 GoTuNk! wrote:On September 05 2015 00:15 BruceLee6783 wrote:On September 04 2015 19:04 evilfatsh1t wrote:
while to an extent i agree with the above, and if possible would like people to apply it to their dating life, there is a flaw with this train of thinking.
the idea of give and take, value for time/effort invested, something for something only applies in a world where everything is logical and actions are quantifiable (world of business)
however, emotions as everyone is probably well aware, do not adhere to this rules all the time.
theoretically you can "quit" trying to get someone and being nice to them in the hopes of them reciprocating your feelings, but in reality you cant just shut down your feelings for a girl, even if she offers you nothing You are absolutely correct. My main point is that more men need to treat their time and money as if it has value (because it truly does). I've seen guys take their date to an expensive steakhouse, spend a large sum of money on parking, appetizers, dessert, etc. As soon as she orders, she proceeds to pull out her cell phone and start texting or facebooking. He's sitting there awkwardly trying to engage her in conversation and she mumbles "yeah", "uh huh", and other various one worded answers until the meal arrives. Guys in this situation need to get up and leave. But way too many will sit there and take it, and that's a sad sight to behold. I've read about this, specially about USA, but it doesn't happen much here. When a girl gets dinner she is expected to serve the dessert usually (if you know what I mean) I have lived in Spain, Argentina and Brazil, so know my way around machista latino society. I have never heard of it being customary to have sex on the first date, regardless of whether that date is in a restaurant or elsewhere. (I am making the assumption that evilfatsh1t is talking about first dates, because if this type of date continues on past the first date, the guy has very serious issues). Of course, that's not to say that people don't have sex on the first date, when they hit it off. It's just not (ever) an obligation. Really hoping Acro is right on the "not an obligation" thing. It really bugs me when guys act like they "deserve" anything sexual, particularly if it's about money/time. If you want to spend money and guarantee sex, visit a prostitute, and recognize that you're treating women like objects. On the other hand, what's wrong with steak dinners past the fist date? I mean, you gotta think about finances, but if you can afford it, why not? I'm not made of money, but I do what I can (and she does what she can) to make sure we go on lots of great dates. Restaurants, and also cooking dinners for each other, going on picnics at scenic spots (throw in climbing/kayaking), dinner and a movie, going to shooting range, skinny dipping in a river, whatever.
Just meant that it was pretty obvious to the girl what your intention is, it doesn't mean she has to have sex with you afterwards imo.
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Sure. I'd avoid the phrase "expected to" to avoid the confusion Acro and I both apparently had.
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On September 05 2015 03:33 Yoav wrote:
Sure. I'd avoid the phrase "expected to" to avoid the confusion Acro and I both apparently had.
My bad, wanted to use a spanish idiomatic expression which doesn't translate properly.
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If you're truly making the effort to make a good first impression, and you're spending hard earned money on her, the least she could do is smile and seem happy to be there, otherwise what's the point?
To clarify, I certainly do *not* feel she is under any obligation to have sex with you. Quite the contrary.
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On September 05 2015 04:28 BruceLee6783 wrote:
If you're truly making the effort to make a good first impression, and you're spending hard earned money on her, the least she could do is smile and seem happy to be there, otherwise what's the point?
To clarify, I certainly do *not* feel she is under any obligation to have sex with you. Quite the contrary.
I mean, politeness is good. That having been said, I have less an expectation of "pretending to be happy" on a date than on other occasions. A date is, among other things, a test if two people enjoy each other's company. Ideally you get signal through the noise of politeness.
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No one is ever obligated to have sex with their date, ever. First date or otherwise, male or female, dinner or no dinner.
I think we all agree with that. (If not, I'd be interested in hearing what circumstances/ criteria would need to exist for a person to feel like they are "owed" sex from their date.)
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Well, prostitution. (Of the caliber where a date is part of the package.)
Which is kinda the problem with legalized prostitution in terms of consent. Ideally can be gotten around with some legal clause saying they can refuse service at any time, including during the act... but practically you're left with a huge burden on any kind of real consent.
Should probably be legal in terms of utilitarian harm prevention, but it's still a sketchy business whichever way you look at it. Maybe in a Firefly-style world where they have total control over clients... but even then...
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Fair enough; I wasn't considering prostitution at all! In terms of a "traditional" date (one that isn't with a prostitute, the kind that mostly everyone in this topic is talking about), I'd imagine there are zero criteria where a person should feel like they are owed sex.
In terms of legalizing prostitution, I'm definitely for it (and I think that if it were more normalized, it would be easier to set up proper safety and health precautions instead of it being a shady, illicit business), but I can definitely see there being conflicts if a prostitute is paid but doesn't put out. I'd imagine she'd have to give the customer his money back, much to the frustration of the man, and I'd hope that he wouldn't rape her x.x
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Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house.
Anybody interested? 
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On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested?
I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves
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On September 05 2015 06:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested? I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves
Thought it would be funny.
My dating life right is non existent. I help people with their love lives though. Right now I'm trying to convince this female friend that she can do better then her asshole boyfriend she's currently dating.
The one she walked 20 miles to see cause she doesn't have money for a taxi. The one who she went to cheer up cause he was feeling down. Who then forgot she was coming, wasn't at his house, and then his phone died and didn't tell her where he was before hand. So she was stranded in a strange town and called me scared and I was the one who went to pick her up and bring her home.
But she's in love so good luck getting her to listen to logic. 
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On September 05 2015 06:21 the bear jew wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 06:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested? I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves Thought it would be funny. My dating life right is non existent. I help people with their love lives though. Right now I'm trying to convince this female friend that she can do better then her asshole boyfriend she's currently dating. The one she walked 20 miles to see cause she doesn't have money for a taxi. The one who she went to cheer up cause he was feeling down. Who then forgot she was coming, wasn't at his house, and then his phone died and didn't tell her where he was before hand. So she was stranded in a strange town and called me scared and I was the one who went to pick her up and bring her home. But she's in love so good luck getting her to listen to logic.
Are you trying to be that "better guy than her asshole boyfriend"? Or are you just trying to be a platonic buddy?
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On September 05 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 06:21 the bear jew wrote:On September 05 2015 06:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested? I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves Thought it would be funny. My dating life right is non existent. I help people with their love lives though. Right now I'm trying to convince this female friend that she can do better then her asshole boyfriend she's currently dating. The one she walked 20 miles to see cause she doesn't have money for a taxi. The one who she went to cheer up cause he was feeling down. Who then forgot she was coming, wasn't at his house, and then his phone died and didn't tell her where he was before hand. So she was stranded in a strange town and called me scared and I was the one who went to pick her up and bring her home. But she's in love so good luck getting her to listen to logic. Are you trying to be that "better guy than her asshole boyfriend"? Or are you just trying to be a platonic buddy?
Platonic buddy. We are just friends. I wouldn't want to be the rebound guy nor am I interested that way. I'm just tired of her getting hurt emotionally.
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On September 05 2015 06:46 the bear jew wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:21 the bear jew wrote:On September 05 2015 06:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested? I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves Thought it would be funny. My dating life right is non existent. I help people with their love lives though. Right now I'm trying to convince this female friend that she can do better then her asshole boyfriend she's currently dating. The one she walked 20 miles to see cause she doesn't have money for a taxi. The one who she went to cheer up cause he was feeling down. Who then forgot she was coming, wasn't at his house, and then his phone died and didn't tell her where he was before hand. So she was stranded in a strange town and called me scared and I was the one who went to pick her up and bring her home. But she's in love so good luck getting her to listen to logic. Are you trying to be that "better guy than her asshole boyfriend"? Or are you just trying to be a platonic buddy? Platonic buddy. We are just friends. I wouldn't want to be the rebound guy nor am I interested that way. I'm just tired of her getting hurt emotionally.
Yeah I know whatcha mean
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On September 05 2015 07:01 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 06:46 the bear jew wrote:On September 05 2015 06:39 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:21 the bear jew wrote:On September 05 2015 06:06 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:On September 05 2015 06:04 the bear jew wrote:Terrible. Any single Ladies who live in or Nearby CT in the USA who want to make it better? I'm a nice guy, a gentleman, decent looking according to my own estimate and I don't live in my parents basement but in my own house. Anybody interested? I bet you're the first person on TeamLiquid to post a personal ad for themselves Thought it would be funny. My dating life right is non existent. I help people with their love lives though. Right now I'm trying to convince this female friend that she can do better then her asshole boyfriend she's currently dating. The one she walked 20 miles to see cause she doesn't have money for a taxi. The one who she went to cheer up cause he was feeling down. Who then forgot she was coming, wasn't at his house, and then his phone died and didn't tell her where he was before hand. So she was stranded in a strange town and called me scared and I was the one who went to pick her up and bring her home. But she's in love so good luck getting her to listen to logic. Are you trying to be that "better guy than her asshole boyfriend"? Or are you just trying to be a platonic buddy? Platonic buddy. We are just friends. I wouldn't want to be the rebound guy nor am I interested that way. I'm just tired of her getting hurt emotionally. Yeah I know whatcha mean
Sadly you can only be a good friend, be there when she gets hurt and hope for the best.
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God I've missed college.
We're divided into four campuses which are separated by about a mile of distance from each other, and this year I'm living on the one responsible for partying. Frat parties, middle of the city, etc. all contributing to the atmosphere. So because of that I skip my last class of the day as it also happens to be the first Thursday of the school year, when the new seed of freshmen hear the rumors and shove themselves into the buses to my campus in a way that would make the Indian trains look like a haven of personal space. It was already hard for me to get home at 6 PM, so I didn't even want to imagine how I'd be getting home at 9:30.
After a little bit of fuckboying around with the masses outside my friends and I come back to our dorm lounge for another night of ping pong/pool/jamming (did I mention how easy it is to make friends when you're a keyboard god?)/socializing in the one room in the dorm with air conditioning, and turns out one of our (new) friends brought his two friends over from one of the quieter campuses across the river. Two of us go do ping pong or something and it's just me and my one friend talking to these two girls.
Rest isn't too interesting, no exciting conclusion. We got their numbers so it's a little exciting conclusion I guess. Only real comment is they mentioned the friend that brought them (he hangs out in their room a lot apparently) is like a son to them, which I don't honestly know how to feel about. If he's okay, more power to him. Really cool guy. Still a bit weird though since they're all the same age. We've invited the two (not the guy who introduced them unfortunately) and a few other friends of our other two to come crash at my friend's room towards the end of the long weekend though, so I guess we'll see how the story ends.
But I guess the point of the story isn't so much the dating, it's just I'm happy to be surrounded by people again, which means I can post more relevant stories to the thread, and also I can finally stop whoring myself out in the blogs (or at least do it a little less) because we've got a working piano in this lounge, and I happen to be a keyboard god. My friend just ended a two year relationship that went out with a whimper and then a bang last month, and he led all the conversation, so I guess he's the real hero of the story.
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On September 05 2015 05:28 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
No one is ever obligated to have sex with their date, ever. First date or otherwise, male or female, dinner or no dinner.
I think we all agree with that. (If not, I'd be interested in hearing what circumstances/ criteria would need to exist for a person to feel like they are "owed" sex from their date.)
Is it rude if after receiving oral sex you decline to offer or give it to the other person?
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On September 05 2015 09:50 IgnE wrote:Show nested quote +On September 05 2015 05:28 DarkPlasmaBall wrote:
No one is ever obligated to have sex with their date, ever. First date or otherwise, male or female, dinner or no dinner.
I think we all agree with that. (If not, I'd be interested in hearing what circumstances/ criteria would need to exist for a person to feel like they are "owed" sex from their date.) Is it rude if after receiving oral sex you decline to offer or give it to the other person?
My gut reaction is to say: Probably... If she doesn't already know you're going to refuse, she might be expecting some level of comparable reciprocation.
But maybe if you provide enough pleasure some other way, it won't really matter. Orgasms tend to be the great equalizer with a lot of these "She did X to me but I did Y to her." As long as you're both happy after you're done. And honestly, it's probably worth asking her after it's over, if she didn't already know you're not into giving it.
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What if you go down on her and she doesn't do anything for you? You assumed she was the one giving the blow job.
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On September 05 2015 10:07 IgnE wrote:
What if you go down on her and she doesn't do anything for you? You assumed she was the one giving the blow job.
I see no reason why my perspective wouldn't be consistent if it were the other way around. You said "you" so my response was based off that personalization. Sometimes it's just annoying for me to write "him/her" every single time lol ^^
Do you think it would be any different?
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