EPTAsk me anything about being a Man, Korean Style:II - Page 5
| Blogs > MightyAtom |
|
SomethingWitty
Canada94 Posts
| ||
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 04:47 Yorbon wrote: Have you ever been to the Netherlands? If yes, what were your impressions? If no, what would be your expectations? I have and I have a couple of friends from Netherlands as well, and of course one of them is Naz ^^ Well, I really love it there too, its been about 5 years though the last time I visited, but what I really like about the Dutch is that they are pretty forthright and can kickbox and really are fearless, from my experience at least. Did you know the first foreigners to Korea were ship wreaked Dutch sailors? A bit of a sad story, but the first foreign mixed blood was Dutch keke. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 05:05 Smurfett3 wrote: whens the first time you had sex? June 19, 1995 ^^ I remember because it was a bit traumatic lol. It was the end of my first year at uni and I hooked up with this Hong Kong older girl (lol maybe 2 years older) and she ended up being a nymphomaniac. I had fiercely protected my virginity because I had it in my mind that I would try my very best to get to marriage with a clean conscious and while I was able to resist 5 previous attempts, she was a vicious tiger. We only lasted 2 weeks before I couldn't take being a slave to her savage desires, but my view how much sex was normal was a bit skewered (at least 3 times a day) so my next gf thought I was a just a maniac and had to slow me down. But just to make this into a productive post. I wanted to 'save' my virginity for marriage, and while I didn't do that, I did love my next gf very very much, even though it has been nearly 20 years, I still remember everything about her, and the things I wish I had known better at the time. But since I loved her, I thought, if I love her, how can this be wrong? For me sex, love, it was all related with being Christian. While I have had many gfs from that point on, I never once had a one night stand. Of course when I was younger, I wanted to, but I had a bit of an old school morality/honor issue, but when I got much older I am glad I didn't. Not to say it is bad, but I think also, people really approach sex in different ways. My one gf just though sex was just sex and that it was meant to be fun and with whoever you really wanted to have it with. Another gf had been sexually assaulted years before I met her, so she still had trauma from that, so for a 8 month relationship we never made love, just kissed. Yes that was very very tough, but I did love her. I think the first time does really matter a lot, and if you can do it with someone you really care about, and if you can wait a bit longer than just the first chance and make it something special with your gf rather can some random pick, then I'd say you'd get much more out of it and it will shape you as well. | ||
|
crazyweasel
607 Posts
In the bottom of my heart i've always thought that a man can only become a man when he has children, not only because he reproduced his genes but mostly because he now has to look and care after some one (which to me would be the most growthful experience one can have) do you agree? im 22, not there yet, still a child I never had a real GF, i always quit when things start to get serious (i've been with alot of girls though) do i have a problem? do you really believe in business(career and success) and capitalism as a way for happiness? ty for your contribution you're great | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 06:17 MtlGuitarist97 wrote: I have another question for you: I live with my mom's boyfriend, his son, my mom and my brother. My mom's boyfriend's son (we'll call him John) is completely spoiled and gets away with everything. My mom tries her hardest to bring my brother up the best that he can, but he still gets jealous of John and feels that he is treated unfairly compared to him. My mom doesn't ask anything ridiculous from him, just that he does his homework, does his chores, try to be as flexible as possible when picking what to eat or in terms of his schedule. He can get really obnoxious and (in my opinion) is a direct result of my mom's boyfriend's horrible parenting influencing what he thinks is acceptable. Is there anything that I can/should do to help my brother understand, or is it not my responsibility and I should just try my best to give him advice when he needs it? The second part of it is that my mom's boyfriend is completely irresponsible. He's a terrible parent, he embarrasses my mom constantly in front of us, and he is overall just not a good person. He makes really questionable calls (he gave his son Xanax because he asked for it (his son doesn't have a script for it), and he's done a lot of really bad stuff in the past. I don't like him at all, but I have to try my hardest to get along with him for the next year and a half or so until I leave for college. However, this can be really challenging. He does literally nothing all day, now that he's unemployed. He's been unemployed for over a year, he's out of unemployment, and he continues to just sit and watch TV all day. He's gotten even more obese, taken even worse care of himself, and does nothing to contribute around the house. He leaves the house a disgusting mess each day and continues to do nothing to improve it, whether it be fixing loose screws on stuff, fixing a banister, cleaning the kitchen, or even just vacuuming up. Thanks hyung. This is a very difficult situation, but what is important is that while you see straight, your brother doesn't and that is fair, he is younger and when you're younger, you get hurt/traumatized differently. Just give him a good talk one time and let him know that you are there for him and that it's not a great situation, but if you can, talk to him not after something bad happened, but just spend more time with him, like for a coffee outside of the house and just talk. In the same way, as your Mom's bf, I'd say, you need to get the best out of him, but not in a confrontational way. Just ask him, hey,can I ask you for some advice? About anything, even about things you'd like to fix and just say, that you want to just help out the house, can you give me some advice what would be the best way to do this or that, or some girl issues, bullshit or not and build some kind of relationship. Don't talk down or lecture him, obviously that isn't going to work, but get him in a position to self-reflect is enough. He isn't blind, he knows you guys don't respect him, maybe he doesn't respect himself, but if you can give him something easy to make a step towards you, it may change. Even like asking his advice about life and then start cleaning, he may join you in the cleaning as well as you talk. Find out more about him, but tread carefully, be sincere or else it will just make things worse, don't have an expectation, just as it comes. If he really is just a lazy fuck and doesn't care, then just prepare yourself, still interact, don't make him feel you think he is below you, or else then it just makes it worse for your mom and remember to tell your mom that you love and appreciate her, she may just always feel down and maybe her feeling better will also translate into some change as well. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 08:35 vaL4r wrote: Found the second thread; So thank you, I much appreciate it. Thanks for posting in that one ^^ amazing how you found it! | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 10:06 Impervious wrote: In 2007, the New England Patriots had an 18-1 season in the NFL. Before the season started, they suffered the tragic loss of one of their teammates in an unfortunate accident. It was a very rough period for the team. At the beginning of the season, they looked like fucking rockstars. They found a way to deal with all the shit that everyone threw at them, and won their first few games very convincingly. Almost everyone knew that, realistically speaking, there was no way they were going to have a perfect season, because it's so fucking rare for that to happen, but they were playing so damn good. They had a few very close games, but still found a way to tough it out and prove they were the better team on that day. Suddenly they're in the playoffs with a 16-0 record, and everyone has them as a favourite for winning the Lombardi trophy. It truly looked like they were going to win the Superbowl with an unprecedented perfect season, which would give them a 19-0 record. They win the first game, putting them at 17-0. They win the next game, putting them at 18-0. Finally, the big game. They're up against a team that they've already beaten to get to this point. And we all know what happened. They lost it. It was such a heartbreaking loss for them. They, as a team, started at such a bad point with the loss of one of their teammates, and they worked their asses off to show that they were the fucking kings, and then, right at the very end, they were dethroned..... And in a somewhat humiliating fashion. Everyone knew the game was over when they failed to covert the 4th and long, and everyone crowded the field in celebration of the victory by the Giants, yet they had to repeat the celebrations because the game still had 1 second left on the clock, causing them to re-live their defeat twice in a matter of minutes..... My question is this. How do you get back up after getting knocked down like that? I'm sure you've had some experiences where things haven't worked out anywhere near as well as you hoped they would, yet you found a way to get back on track. I'm not talking about some minor mistake, I'm talking about some kind of catastrophic failure resulting in the loss of months or maybe even years worth of hard work and dedication..... I'm kinda going through one of those types of failures right now in my life, and it's really fucking tough to mentally keep going, I was hoping you'd have some kind of inspirational words of wisdom. Btw, I absolutely love the effort you put into stuff like this. I loved reading all of your older blog posts. When I left my senior executive position in early 2010, had conquered the industry, I had made 6 new markets in less than 3 years for my company (90 plus flights a year), I was more than a rockstar I was a warlord of my industry. But I wanted to be CEO, that wasn't on the table, they didn't expect me to quit because my position was so senior, I was fairly well compensated and the job market at that time still wasn't great. But I did, I didn't take my six figure bonus, which I had earned, so that I could get into the job market only 3 months after quitting. But instead, I started my own company in the same field. We launched in early 2011, but got absolutely trashed by the market. Two major factors that I was banking on: one was marketing channel and the other was a sales channel, both got cut off right before we began our investment into this new market. I should have just stopped the operations, changed our strategy and waited, But I didn't, I was so arrogant and thought I could make it work, even though the fundamentals of our entire strategy got taken away. You can't believe the absolute horror of watching your entire investment fund ever single month get lower and lower and lower until there really is nothing left. And the major issue is that there was nothing I could do about it, because opportunities didn't come up, the market was getting worse and here I was, I had dragged my family from Korea to a new country, and my second son was only 3 months old when he came! And I would look at my sons and thought to myself, how could I have fucked this up so bad, with zero growth and just this brutal burn and the only thing that was saving us was revenue from a market we hadn't invested a penny into, but then had I did, maybe we'd be totally fine, but it was getting to the point where even the slow burn was going to end in just a brutal crash. From the summer of 2011 to the summer 2012, I had such a depressing and brutal year that I gained probably 12 kg or so, ended up getting all these health problems from all the constant stress, which I'm still recovering from now and most people in the industry thought that all my accomplishments previously was only because I was at the biggest firm, not because I was the rockstar. My reputation plummeted, our finances were nearly all gone and I was depressed and so fucking frustrated because I could not find options, I could not manipulate the situation, the game needed to be played at a much higher level and I wasn't in a position to do that. And every time I felt this powerlessness I would look at my boys and even that they were happy and didnt know what was going on, I felt this great shame and guilt that I wasn't making their lives better. I never had self pity, but the weight of my choices just made even breathing difficult. ***** So while running the company, I hit the job market for an executive job in a similar field. I had a few interviews here and there, but the industry was in such a shitty position back then, that no one was hiring, but this one very perfect firm was, and I got 3 interviews with a total time of 6 hrs. And me and my wife were content, this job would allow us to start again, and I'd be able to use my salary to not pay myself anything and the company could stop a lot of the major burn until I could figure out what else to do. So I go in and meet the CEO, its a big company CEO is a big dog and he is about my age, maybe one year older. It is supposed to be a rubber stamp meeting, I've met with everyone in the company, I'm going to take on head of business development, which is a 3 tier executive position under head of business and then under the CEO. I won't even be reporting to this guy But in reality, my former position at my former company makes him very uncomfortable as my old company was 5 times the size of this one and my previous position is fairly equivalent or even more so than the CEO's position. Thing is with this company was that it was a subsidiary of a listed company and so the current CEO had been the COO of the listed one and this was his big shot to get to the next level. The 5 minute meeting turned into a 45 mins confrontation where he simply attacked me until he got enough justification not to hire me. By the 10 min mark I knew this interview was fucked so the only way to savage it was to get his respect by going toe to toe with him, but in the end, it was me as a senior executive vs him as a senior executive debating the strategy of the company rather than me as a potential employee explaining what role I was going to play. The fact was I wasn't even going to be reporting to him, but it didn't matter, I didn't suck his dick and so I didn't get the job. But it was a set-up, even if I did suck his dick, there would have been a very good chance that I didn't get the job either. He was wrong in his strategy, no really he was, I tried to evade it, but the guy wanted to be validated that he knew better than what I knew, I'm not dumb, I knew it too, but at the end of the day I was going for an executive position, not a manager position so I had to go for it. The other part of it was smart on his part, why bring in someone who was that over qualified, I would have made mince meat out of my line manager, eventually shared the glory with the CEO for 2 year then disposed of him as well. It's nothing about climbing the ladder, but I'm just that senior in the industry it was likely going to play out that way, and why should the CEO take that risk? And he didn't, they waited 1 week before saying no, and they did that on purpose so I wouldn't interview during that time. ******************* So I had a brutal market situation, I had dragged my entire family into this, and our best chance, I had been rejected just one step from the finish line. Thing is, I knew the interview was fucked, I knew I had done my best, there was nothing left to do, I sent my family ahead of me back to Korea, moved my 2 staff back to Macau and then stayed a week to close down the office and take care of the outstanding bills. I had failed, I was defeated, I had no options, just cash enough to sustain the company as is, and with the market constantly just crashing into us, it wasn't good. I had thrown away a career and position in where I was a warlord and everything I wanted happened and at my age, making a mistake and learning, well it is not a comforting thought, at my age we don't fuck up so bad to just wipe out all our achievements, security and put our family at risk. I wasn't even a loser, I was a full on failure. ****************** 3 days before I leave the market, I get a call, someone is interested to meet with me. Ok, I'm not expecting much. We meet and he says, meet me again tomorrow, so I do, and we talk. He's an old guy in the industry, he's been around, and he opened his own consulting firm about 4 years ago. He needs a senior guy like me, exactly like me. He says he'll call me in 3 days. I leave the market with nothing except for a speeding ticket that I need to still pay. ************ I'm in Korea, and I get the call, I get a project, but it is in a market which I've avoided for a long time. It's too chaotic there, but what choice to do I have? I take it, the salary is half of what I used to make, but its good to get the cash flow in. They put me up in a 5 star for my first visit, then they put in me an 3 star sex hotel after that. The ol'bait and switch, but I resign myself to make this work and it does. 6 months later, I get into a dispute with the management, we part ways, basically some of the local partners wanted to work with me and no the company as a whole, I get stuck in the middle of it, I get accused of stealing clients, I'm like, 'I don't even want to work in this country you set me too', They apologize, I tell them forget it, the trust has been broken and then I get another call. I get a gov't consulting gig that I can put into my own company. But it is a project way to big for me, but it's a dream project, complex, but so complex I think I'm the only one that can pull it off anyways. ******************** It's Feb 6, 2014, I'm at the Doha business lounge of Qatar Airways, it's 8:28pm, my flight back to Asia is at 1:30 am, and I just got back from a week long trip to Zurich, it's my 3rd visit in less than 2 months. I'm not the same guy anymore, my health problems have really caught up with me, but in exchange I'm not arrogant anymore and I'm not desperate. I've found myself, the man I always wanted to be professionally. I see so much now, I know so much, more than just a strategic business consultant, I under what it takes to be an entrepreneur, what it takes to survive and also be durable, how low I can go and what I can't let go of no mater how low I go and while the market didn't change, I got a project which is above the market, so it really like hitting the lottery, so I didn't earn it, but for me to be at the right time and place, fuck I fought for that place, it did just happen, but for me to be standing it that spot, it took at least 10 years off my life, and I'm not joking about that part. I'm not out of the woods left by a mile, I still have outstanding debts and I still have a lot to make up for, but people are good me and they know I'm trying. I am 3 times the man that I was in 2010, and as much as I failed, I failed big because I went for big, but when I got back up, I don't have the same goals, now a lot of goals tied to my ego, just are meaningless, I'm thinking about moving to Switzerland, raising my family here and not being out there as a warlord, because I think that I did do what I set out to do, be the best in my industry and not just on a corporate level, but to be the absolute best. Capability wise I'm there now, achievement wise, maybe I need 3 more years to make my mark, but I know I can make it work. ******************************* Life is like light, - light is both a wave and a particle. Some people think that life is just this big circle, that learn a bit, make a mistake, fix it, be a bit better, new experiences, new mistakes, new fixes and repeat. Some people think that life is just this linear line of stages, step-by-step, year-by-year we go through it. But it's both. we revisit the same things we learned and made mistakes in, but every time we do, the stakes are higher, more is at risk. And the same times we revisit are in these new stages and context of life, from being a student to working, to having a family to choosing between your ambition, and your family. I make money, when I was a corporate executive,I made money by performing and getting a salary. I make money, when I have my own company at generates revenue. I make money, when I sell shares in my company. I make money, when I raise money for the company and it increase the valuation of the company. Its all making money, it's all tough, but it its the same thing, but in a different stage. I love my mother as a child, I love my wife as a husband, I love my children as a father. But the think I want to point out, is how far the stages go, how far do we walk, how much do we press ourselves to do the same things but in a more difficult stage or level? ***************************** Each stage can take longer, as you said, months even years. In some ways, intellectually, we really only hit our stride in really being the top in our field when we are in our late 30's and then set the pace, but by our 50's we struggle to stay on top of it. But 3 things to end. 1. The bigger the fail, the greater the rise. cliche, but true. 2. Sometimes, the only option is to survive until the timing changes- maybe we are as good as we are, but we simply can't change the situation, it's like being a political prisoner, you're in Jail for the next 20 years, wtf you gonna do, you can survive and go crazy or you can survive but realize it is a time of preparation or reflection or way really reach a next level and revisit your approach. But either way, it is still jail, it is still fucking fucking motherfucking tough - but life is like jail when you have no options. 3. You must be durable, not just survive. You survive, but you've lost all your confidence, well when the time come to take the opportunity you've been waiting for, you can't do it, you second guess yourself, you've been traumatized. You must some times realize, you can't change what is here, but not to let it take away from what you've already gained, it is ok to take a step back to reflect. I had spent 3 years suffering as an entrepreneur but when I took that consulting gig, man did I fucking shine like the fucking stars. It completely revitalized me. Don't just wait in the hole, venture out a bit, leave it a bit, and when the timing is right, be ready to make it happen. Don't punish yourself, life isn't so simple as win or lose or negative or positive, everything that moves you both good and bad, slow or fast, is moving your capability. Make options, if there are none, survive, be durable, and be ready. Life isn't wasted ever, no matter how long how deep, if you can breath you can have redemption, always. We can always be heroes. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 14:25 maggle wrote: I've just spent the last 3 hours reading through all your previous replies and I have to say, I am glad that there are people like you in this world willing to openly share their experience and wisdom with others. I, myself, don't have a question; I just simply thought appreciation should be shown when it is due  . Definitely a man worthy of being called 'hyung'!^^ thanks as well for the comment, I do appreciate it, after all, I love this community and being a part of it is, is part of my life. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 14:31 FFGenerations wrote: nice to read again, snip + Show Spoiler + i'm a very lonely person, aged 29 , recently back in college which is only 2 days a week with 3 other people half my age, no job after working for 5 LONELY years as a nursing assisnant then more recently cleaning caravans for £4/hour and having to leave a shop assistant job because i wanted to die and no1 liked me, living with my mom and her BF (macho territorial controlfreak who i hate and avoid), the only person ive really talked to in the last 1-2 years is when i'm degenning it on dota with an old school friend, or when i visit my grandmother ~3 times a week which is stressful coz she just never shuts up about her tablets (so basically i can go months without talking to anyone), i've never had a girlfriend tho i've been rejected by "best friends" a many times and had years of emotional torment which ive finally come out of since she hasnt talked to me for 6 months coz she stopped giving a fuck a long time ago (fair enough), i suffer from random anxiety just talking to people like some tutors in college because i seem to have serious self-worth complex where i feel completely value-less (and rightly so) , i still blush walking past random young girls, i often think "really there is no point to any of this shit", i even randomly freak out about things like "i have to get off the bus soon, how should i say thankyou to the bus driver?" then freak out because i think he didnt hear me - i dont even know why i think these thoughts or feel these emotions, it must be a severe innate lack of selfworth-, so its nice to read from someone who believes in the power of focus and eventual achievement , because without any contact with anyone you dont get to feel that, theres nothing to invoke it in you , theres no sense of companionship or cause i ran 40 miles the past 4 weeks plus gym, almost no video games (say 5 dotos per week, but still enough to fuck with my sleeping), getting my driving licence blood test tomorrow so job prospects++++ (only jobs where i live are minimum wage jobs - i live in a lifeless county - which are hard to get and honestly fucking pointless as shit if you are at the point in life where i am and cant be fucked with it all anymore, so car will let me get driving job maybe homecare for elderly), perhaps have a job offer related to my college course waiting to hear from, am uptodate with college work and grades and will be commuting out of county to go to university this september if continue as is, however my time spent studying/doing work is still virtually nonexistant, i just waste all day every day doing nothing on the internet (not gaming). im talking literally weeks can go by and ive done nothing!! i dont have a question for you because i'm old enough to know how to fix my problems, it just feels like i dont coz i never talk to anyone and am stuck by myself trapped in loneliness and anxiety until the gradual resolutions (qualifying at uni , getting into career, becoming independent, having a skill and self respect) . i guess you just got me writing my lazy, selfpitying lifestory for the 50th time, desperate for reassurance and pity from the outside world maybe its a subconscious way of reminding myself to step my game up, coz thats what i get out of this by the end everytime i go on about it. for me its about synchronising several things: not gaming, sleeping early, eating properly, consistent gym, now running, not wanking (increase testosterone/livliness and less wasted time), not browsing web all day (FAIL) and studying (FAIL) and not smoking putting it into fresh perspective, the past 4 weeks have been EXCEEDINGLY successful for me (relatively) , i just have to add studying now alongside everything else and i am at 100% efficiency and should experience extreme satisfaction and selfworth! Sounds great to hear! When you graduate, I'd say the first thing to do is travel! Let me know where you go and maybe we'll cross paths then ^^ | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 17:05 Ciryandor wrote: Hey, got to see this barely in time to ask: Did the deal in the Philippines work out? I was curious if all the issues you had with regulations were eventually settled to both sides' satisfaction. Feel free to leave out details if necessary, I just wanted to know if you were happy with how it turned out. Also, any comments on how good/bad it was outside of work, if you got to experience any of it? Well, that has worked out, but it never ceases to be chaotic on a daily basis to hold down the fort. But I'm still in the middle of something, but I did finally get to an equal hand on the negotiating table. Very difficult to get here, nearly a 14 months in the process but its good. Philippines is great outside of Manila, but Manila itself, save Makati and Fort Bonifacio is a bit too messy for me. But I don't spend much time there nowadays, I'm mostly in HK, back in Macau, Beijing and Zurich. So I've expanded a bit more. Health isn't great, but I hope to recover this year and take a month off by April, cause I think if I don't I'll drop dead lol. ^^ | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 18:22 phantom7 wrote: hello can someone help me Looking for an older movie. It's about two old. Many people think that they are very rich, so they came and propose different objects and others saying they are their heirs. Finally, their nephew really is sent by his mother to stay on vacation with grandparents. They did not believe that he is their grandson true, but left him to stay. Eventually become friends with him and every night he telling each part of their lives and how they got the entire wealth (a room filled with crates of money). Old people die in own plane (ii nephew persuaded to lead a happy life, so I started to spend a bit of money) After death, this grandson was 20-21 years, but even if they were happy with what grandparents died life living with her can someone help me? I read this, I have no idea what movie you're looking for, try to google it and increase your research abilities. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 18:43 yunogg wrote: 안녕하세요 형, I don't post here much and I'm glad to have seen this post. I read through your first one and the quality of your replies told me that I should probably get advice from you (not sure when else I'd be able to receive such advice). As for a little background, I'm currently about to graduate from a pretty good university (undergrad), and I'm set to work at Oracle as a Sales Consultant. It's an entry level job and it's not really that great, but I'm just glad I got a job. However, I'm just worried because I'm not so sure whether I'd be able to move up vertically. I hear that a lot of people look down on sales... and although I'm not exactly a sales rep, I'm still in the department (providing technical information about Oracle's products). What should I do to make sure I get the most out of this opportunity + move up within the company? Should I look for other opportunities? Another worry is that I'm a philosophy major and I feel like I don't have any "skills". I feel like I should've gone into computer science or engineering because there's such a huge demand for them. How do I deal with this feeling of inadequacy of being a philosophy major? Should I go to law school? I don't want to sound cocky but I'm kind of smart and I'm sure I can do well enough on the LSATs to get into a top program. Or do you think an MBA would be better? Maybe I should've gone into finance..................................... I love philosophy, but sometimes I wonder if I chose the wrong major. My final question has to do with religion. From your recommendation of the Bible as a book to read in the last blog, I'm presuming you are a Christian. What do you do to keep holding on to your faith? As a man who is financially quite well off, do you think you are giving back enough? 감사합니다. I think it's wonderful that you're doing this. If I'm ever successful as you are, I will make sure to do the same. Anyong ^^, A lot of people misunderstand sales, they usually think of a used car sales man, who wheels and deals and is unethical. Sales is probably the most important thing for a company to survive and grow especially when the products are nearly all the same. But for sales, it not a matter of moving up vertically, its a matter of switching positions to get more commission, but it seems more like you are an account manager support the sales rep which actually has even less vertical than a sales rep. But it is a good learning experience, oracle is wow, such a great company and because you're at such a big company there should be some intra company classes or development program. Find out out about it, learn everything you can, take all the class you can, if there are performance metrics, go for number one in your group. But looking for other opportunities as graduate is a must, it would be better to work as an intern in a field you are really engaged in than to set to work in something your'e not passionate about because you will need to spend at least a year in your first job when you start (ideally 3 years). Frankly speaking, if you've gone to a good school and your major is philosophy then you can apply for a consulting job, but you may be too lacking in basic management knowledge to qualify and it seems as though you are still in an academic mind set. But there is nothing bad about being a philosophy major, on an intellectual level, it will wow most people, but on a practical level, it is lacking so you do need to follow up on it, but I wouldn't say it is a waste, but it will take more time to integrate what you've learned as a mental framework to give value to some practical purpose. Some of the top business strategists and finance guys are from philosophy. I did my undergrad in political philosophy and english lit, then did a masters in divinity (theology) didn't graduate and went right into my MBA. If you're talking about law school, then if you have the chops for it, just apply and get it, if you dont' know what you should be doing, doing law school is a good stop gap as any and with a law degree you can still do your mba after or whatever. But if you love philosophy, why not go for being a professor then? That was something I considered once before. But what I'm not seeing is if philosophy is your passion, dive into it, but if it is not your only passion or you feel this need to do something practical, then you need to really investigate this thoroughly, this is not the time to just base your decisions on just what is in front of you, go do some hardcore research into law, or teaching, or other jobs or your own passion. **** I'm a Christian, 4th generation Korean protestant; as I was born into a Christian family, I always had confidence to challenge God and if God is God, he will answer and he's always been consistent in that. Being Christian isn't something you hold on to, either you are in Christ or not and if you're in Christ you grown the faith. And faith being, for me, seeing the world as God sees it and that just takes time, pray and sincerity. The gift we are given is that are given time to grow into being more faithful. I was financially well off, and now, on paper value (stock holdings) maybe I am at this point, but my bank account just holds my monthly salary at this moment, but to your point; having been raised serving the church, I've always been a sunday school teacher and when I was doing my masters in divinity I served at 3 churches every sunday, doing the sermons and teaching, but as of the last few years, I don't do that because of my travel schedule also I don't mention my background to whatever church I attend as it tends to make the clergy uncomfortable. But my hope is to one day amass a great wealth and open up a massive library in my wife's name and put in a full studio for video production for those students who may not fit into the traditional korean model of success but are creative and talented. I don't feel the need to donate it to a church persay, but rather, if it is done with love, that is all Christ wants me to do, the rest God can do. And to end: Stop being wishywashy and look into your options! asap! ^^ | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 05 2014 20:50 SomethingWitty wrote: If an adult male is a confirmed beta fish does that make him not a man? Only if that is all he is doing, then yes. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 06 2014 01:16 crazyweasel wrote: I have a few questions : In the bottom of my heart i've always thought that a man can only become a man when he has children, not only because he reproduced his genes but mostly because he now has to look and care after some one (which to me would be the most growthful experience one can have) do you agree? im 22, not there yet, still a child I never had a real GF, i always quit when things start to get serious (i've been with alot of girls though) do i have a problem? do you really believe in business(career and success) and capitalism as a way for happiness? ty for your contribution you're great I agree, but nowadays, 22 is young, I got married when I was 33, and I'm 39 now and my kids are 5 and 3. So I've had a lot of girlfriends and some were serious and some not, but eventually you get serious when you yourself are serious about settling down, if you're not ready to settle down, why would you be serious. ^^ But whenever you get a child, yes it always changes you for the better or it makes you really brutally honest with yourself, Most men will step up to the challenge because of love, some pussies will run off cause they are pussies (but sometimes more complicated than that, so I won't pass more judgement than I have). Business career/success and capitalism is not a way for happiness, but having no cash or success is really not going to make happy 100%. People equate business or money with greed or evilness, but for me it, its about competition and allocation of cash. People are going to spend, they spend with me, I can then allocate it, I can do it selfishly or do it selflessly, for instance, did you know the first dota-allstars community server was supported by me? hehe, like in 2005 or something, pentdragon needed the cash and I wired him 250 to get a hardrive or something. Now of course, he closed that down, went to riot, made lol and he must be happy somewhere, but if I didn't have 250 to send to him, maybe there would have never been that community site, or even LOL haha, just exaggerating, but my point is, capitalism is the system we live in. We can reject the system, try to over throw it, or master it then manipulate it. I'm going for the last one, my brain is not big enough to suggest an alternative, I'm not about it reject it but where I can master/manipulate it to ulitmately get resources, then great. But at the end of the day, if I get a nice home in Zurich, put money in the trust for my two kids, what else is there, but spending time with my wife and kids and friends that makes live worthwhile, nothing, but it's easier with cash when you can sleep at night without worrying if you will be kicked out the next day or that you can prepare you children the best that you can. | ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
3 more hours till I board, I'm here, let me know. And thanks for the TL gift! You know how you are!!!!! I'll pm later! Cheers, MA | ||
|
JieXian
Malaysia4677 Posts
On February 05 2014 04:06 MightyAtom wrote: This question has 2 levels, the mass not so educated level and the educated level. The mass not so educated level: Mainland Chinese: I'd say more like distrust than outright hatred but if you're a successful white guy and you marry the farmer's daughter or a rich Singaporean, great, but if you're a poor brown guy, no fucking way. Hong Kong: Not really at all, lots of mixed kids in HK. Taiwan: The land of macho guys, if you're a rich foreigner who can appreciate Chinese things, they are fine with it too, brown guy, not so much. But generally speaking, Chinese are less racist than Koreans and Japanese. Koreans: pretty fucking racist off the bat, but, if you can prove yourself to be a good guy, brown or white or whatever, the friendship will be real and true and a circle of true friends can be made, but the racism is different; with white guys its more of a piss match, (when it comes down to it) and anyone dark skinned is just not really considered at all. Japanese: pretty fucking racist and slightly more than Koreans, but, outside of anyone you marry, you will never be accepted in pure social circle unlike Korea (correct me if you think I'm wrong anyone, but I'm right, so you're wasting your breath), but they pretty much are racist against everyone equally including whites to browns. On the educated level in the context of marriage. Chinese don't care too much as long as your family is rich. Koreans still care but if your family is respectable and high class for your country (not necessarily rich), it may be acceptable. Japanese still care, but will accept it. I think another way to look at it is when you speak their language. A Chinese person will find joy when you try to speak to them in Chinese A Korean will feel pride when you try to speak to them in Korean (if your a white), if you're an overseas Korean with a bad accent (if they are low educated) they will act indignant and insulted (cause its a pride thing that you're supposed to be Korean so why the hell can't you speak Korean) A Japanese will smile and recognize the effort. But if your'e fluent in their language, a telling point comes out. In Chinese, they adore you and think you are now like a Chinese. In Korea they are filled with pride and shock that you can speak Korean, but you're more like a novelty than anything else. In Japan they complement you and now feel they need to watch their words and are a bit suspicious of you that you can figure them out. So take what you will from this; Sweden is a pretty discriminatory place as well etc, but there is a line between ignorance and educated and keeping one's culture intact as a country. Where that line is, I'm not going to make a judgement here, but if some foreigner says they want equal rights in my country and always shocked when things are not up to their sense of morality, seriously, you're in Korea, we're Korean, fuck off. When I'm in Switzerland, and people look at sometimes, well I'm the only white person sized Korean they have ever seen and I drink 5 pints of beer during Octoberfest and kiss the girls a bit more than I should when I'm saying good bye, well fuck it, of course they gonna look, I'm a foreigner to their land, and I respect their laws and enjoy their customs. But dont' let it get you down, there will always be good and bad people, fuck the bad people and just enjoy the time with the good. It aint personal, it's just the way the world is. Haha thanks for the long and interesting reply but based on the Taiwanese shows I thought the Taiwanese men were the wussies submmiting to their wives... (asking them for fucking pocket money even though they are the ones working and not their wives). But yeah coming from a country where we don't worry much about political correctness and the truths are spoken I believe not being a slightly bit racist at all towards anyone (ie things like judging people and not serious things like wanting people to die) is unnatural and I accept it as the way things are too | ||
|
boon2537
United States905 Posts
On February 04 2014 18:12 MightyAtom wrote: Hey boon2537, it's funny because I was extremely extroverted when I was younger, but so sick of hearing myself blab on about bullshit, I forced myself to shut up and just listen a lot more ^^ I think the first thing is that, since it isn't naturally you, you need to actually make a conscious effort each and every time you engage, but I think it definitely is a range from introverted to extroverted. But you need to recognize, a lot of guys you see who are charming, well dress, good dancers, for them, its important and they put a lot of time into doing their hair, picking the clothes they want to wear: for them this is how they express themselves by being an image and of course there is a balance here, too much image, no substance - you'll never get the sophisticated hot ladies, too much substance no image, the ladies except for the one doing her phd - aint going to be looking at you any time soon. I'd think that you seem very self aware in any case, so this isn't going to be a big stretch for you, and I think for the most part, introverts have extremely good basis for social skills in that, they see the moments when there is awkward silence and do they listen to others, whereas extroverts don't generally care they just go on and on, which does give them a stage to show case their personality, but you'd be surprised as well that they may have many friends and buddies they hang around with but really few close ones as well - I think though the issue lies in the engage of communication process. You know when you should speak, but your topic doesn't flow like a nice story, sometimes there is no punch line or ending and maybe you slow down the pace of the conversation and all I can say is, its all about getting use to speaking with noticing the cues of others and also just pressing on regardless if you get awkward cues and just drawing them in; it's like a stand up comic and they have a bad line, but if they press on they can redeem themselves. The other issue is that extoverts have a lot of cool shit/events that have happened to them recently, no shortage of cool stories that happened last week or yesterday, but introverts tend not to have any real stories that they are the main characters in. So if you try to think of such a story on the spot to add to the topic, likely you will crash and burn. But youll notice that introverts that play a lot of dota or wow, they have lots of cool shit that happened to them in the game, and they can talk endless stories about that, but its not that the rest of the world cares ^^ Extroverts are not looking for a meaningful conversation every time, they just want to feel some energy going on, introverts want to spend meaningful time or then time alone and one major thing would be that introverts that try to play the extrovert game straight get brutally exhausted from enduring all the bullshit to get word in edgewise, while extroverts feel completely repressed to wait their turn to speak and try to listen. So, I wanted to write the above as a background to my advice. 1. Pick your battles you see someone you think is interesting, you'd like to get to know more, as a person or a girl, then just observe and don't waste your energy on every person out there, just expend it upon people you think may be worth it. You want a few good more friends or at least see what is out there, then you need to put more effort into it, im no saying hunt down possible friend candidates, but put the effort in if you think that person would be interesting to be friends with and see where it goes. 2. You need to be very deliberate I know it seems fake, but this ain't a natural state for you, so be sure to pick up cues, but also don't just crop your sentence mid-line just because they want to interject, finish what you have to say, but also the cues you pick to finish off the story faster or to get to the point or to explain in more detail some parts of your story, be aware of it. Some introverts when they finally get the floor, they just go on non-stop and pour out there entire existence and thoughts on the meaning of life. But in any case, sooner or later you will naturally pick up on these engagement cues and it will be natural, but your greatest strength is still your listening. 3. Listening to respond or listening as a sounding post, are two different things You want to be an active participant in a conversation to add in your 2 cents to show off your darling personality. Just listening so the other person can listen to themselves speak is a waste of time (unless it is a hot chick), but seriously even that, if by the end of it, they know nothing about you then they come away with no impression. 4. Your content for stories Hell, if you follow what they are saying, you're likely not going to have a story, but I'd say, easiest thing to do is just mention some cool thing that is happening in the world news or something like that and give your opinion on it and also mention straight that you're really more of a listener than a talker. If you do need to hear a story, interject with questions, well what about that, or how did you feel about that, then you can start to share your feelings or thoughts on a more bitsize level. But yes, it's bullshit, but on some level, a bit of your personality will always come out. 5. It is a long time process It took me about 5 years of deliberate awareness to be more of a listener and introvert and at times I went too far, fundamentally nothing is going to change the fact that I am extroverted, words come easy to me, I have a ton of stories, but I think my need to understand others, especially in business far outweighs my need to entertain myself or stroke my ego. 6. Lastly, sometimes you need to talk to yourself Well, I haven't done this for ages, but when I was a kid, like 12 years old, I would get into all these arguments with evil nerdy bitchy girls, so sometimes I'd win, sometimes I'd lose, but when I'd go home, I'd go through the conversation and re-act it differently and actually speak what I wanted to say, sometime like martial arts practice for the egotistical little asshole that I was. But, it did help, kind of prepping myself for whatever was coming and I haven't thought of that for ages, but maybe I had the compulsion to be an extrovert, but even expressing myself too an effort to express myself with style. Just keep in mind, its not just about the content, but the act of the delivery which can be exciting on to itself and watching peoples reactions - and that is what naturally drives an extrovert - the energy of the discussion and maybe focusing on that, rather than just the content may be a good mental start apart from the points above. Cheers, MA Thanks for such an in depth response, MA. I'm sure your advice will help not only me, but also other TLers who strive to improve their social skill ^^ I'm somewhat surprised to hear that there's a reverse of my situation too, haha. What resonates to me the most is that I lacks cool/interesting stories to tell, and when I do tell a story, I feel that sometimes the other party is not that interested to hear it, making me think I might have delivered a story poorly. Any tips on making mundane stories sound more interesting? If I can tell a story half as well as Day9 can, I will be a happy man  Also, unrelated question: What are your recommended places to eat in Korea? | ||
|
jaymik
Korea (South)425 Posts
| ||
|
MightyAtom
Korea (South)1897 Posts
On February 06 2014 05:32 boon2537 wrote: + Show Spoiler + On February 04 2014 18:12 MightyAtom wrote: Hey boon2537, it's funny because I was extremely extroverted when I was younger, but so sick of hearing myself blab on about bullshit, I forced myself to shut up and just listen a lot more ^^ I think the first thing is that, since it isn't naturally you, you need to actually make a conscious effort each and every time you engage, but I think it definitely is a range from introverted to extroverted. But you need to recognize, a lot of guys you see who are charming, well dress, good dancers, for them, its important and they put a lot of time into doing their hair, picking the clothes they want to wear: for them this is how they express themselves by being an image and of course there is a balance here, too much image, no substance - you'll never get the sophisticated hot ladies, too much substance no image, the ladies except for the one doing her phd - aint going to be looking at you any time soon. I'd think that you seem very self aware in any case, so this isn't going to be a big stretch for you, and I think for the most part, introverts have extremely good basis for social skills in that, they see the moments when there is awkward silence and do they listen to others, whereas extroverts don't generally care they just go on and on, which does give them a stage to show case their personality, but you'd be surprised as well that they may have many friends and buddies they hang around with but really few close ones as well - I think though the issue lies in the engage of communication process. You know when you should speak, but your topic doesn't flow like a nice story, sometimes there is no punch line or ending and maybe you slow down the pace of the conversation and all I can say is, its all about getting use to speaking with noticing the cues of others and also just pressing on regardless if you get awkward cues and just drawing them in; it's like a stand up comic and they have a bad line, but if they press on they can redeem themselves. The other issue is that extoverts have a lot of cool shit/events that have happened to them recently, no shortage of cool stories that happened last week or yesterday, but introverts tend not to have any real stories that they are the main characters in. So if you try to think of such a story on the spot to add to the topic, likely you will crash and burn. But youll notice that introverts that play a lot of dota or wow, they have lots of cool shit that happened to them in the game, and they can talk endless stories about that, but its not that the rest of the world cares ^^ Extroverts are not looking for a meaningful conversation every time, they just want to feel some energy going on, introverts want to spend meaningful time or then time alone and one major thing would be that introverts that try to play the extrovert game straight get brutally exhausted from enduring all the bullshit to get word in edgewise, while extroverts feel completely repressed to wait their turn to speak and try to listen. So, I wanted to write the above as a background to my advice. 1. Pick your battles you see someone you think is interesting, you'd like to get to know more, as a person or a girl, then just observe and don't waste your energy on every person out there, just expend it upon people you think may be worth it. You want a few good more friends or at least see what is out there, then you need to put more effort into it, im no saying hunt down possible friend candidates, but put the effort in if you think that person would be interesting to be friends with and see where it goes. 2. You need to be very deliberate I know it seems fake, but this ain't a natural state for you, so be sure to pick up cues, but also don't just crop your sentence mid-line just because they want to interject, finish what you have to say, but also the cues you pick to finish off the story faster or to get to the point or to explain in more detail some parts of your story, be aware of it. Some introverts when they finally get the floor, they just go on non-stop and pour out there entire existence and thoughts on the meaning of life. But in any case, sooner or later you will naturally pick up on these engagement cues and it will be natural, but your greatest strength is still your listening. 3. Listening to respond or listening as a sounding post, are two different things You want to be an active participant in a conversation to add in your 2 cents to show off your darling personality. Just listening so the other person can listen to themselves speak is a waste of time (unless it is a hot chick), but seriously even that, if by the end of it, they know nothing about you then they come away with no impression. 4. Your content for stories Hell, if you follow what they are saying, you're likely not going to have a story, but I'd say, easiest thing to do is just mention some cool thing that is happening in the world news or something like that and give your opinion on it and also mention straight that you're really more of a listener than a talker. If you do need to hear a story, interject with questions, well what about that, or how did you feel about that, then you can start to share your feelings or thoughts on a more bitsize level. But yes, it's bullshit, but on some level, a bit of your personality will always come out. 5. It is a long time process It took me about 5 years of deliberate awareness to be more of a listener and introvert and at times I went too far, fundamentally nothing is going to change the fact that I am extroverted, words come easy to me, I have a ton of stories, but I think my need to understand others, especially in business far outweighs my need to entertain myself or stroke my ego. 6. Lastly, sometimes you need to talk to yourself Well, I haven't done this for ages, but when I was a kid, like 12 years old, I would get into all these arguments with evil nerdy bitchy girls, so sometimes I'd win, sometimes I'd lose, but when I'd go home, I'd go through the conversation and re-act it differently and actually speak what I wanted to say, sometime like martial arts practice for the egotistical little asshole that I was. But, it did help, kind of prepping myself for whatever was coming and I haven't thought of that for ages, but maybe I had the compulsion to be an extrovert, but even expressing myself too an effort to express myself with style. Just keep in mind, its not just about the content, but the act of the delivery which can be exciting on to itself and watching peoples reactions - and that is what naturally drives an extrovert - the energy of the discussion and maybe focusing on that, rather than just the content may be a good mental start apart from the points above. Cheers, MA Thanks for such an in depth response, MA. I'm sure your advice will help not only me, but also other TLers who strive to improve their social skill ^^ I'm somewhat surprised to hear that there's a reverse of my situation too, haha. What resonates to me the most is that I lacks cool/interesting stories to tell, and when I do tell a story, I feel that sometimes the other party is not that interested to hear it, making me think I might have delivered a story poorly. Any tips on making mundane stories sound more interesting? If I can tell a story half as well as Day9 can, I will be a happy man Also, unrelated question: What are your recommended places to eat in Korea? All I can say is, maybe watch a lot of stand up comedy, like Russel Peters, and see how he interacts, plus he is funny as fuck. But really, I know some guys who are very introverted, but whenever they something, it's just witty as hell, and it can just be a one liner, but their timing in impeccable. ^^ Places to eat in Korea, usually everywhere is great, Korean food is really simple, so it really more dependent upon the ingredients. But my favorite places are, in Seoul only, Nongol Gep (like nongol house) it's a chain of Korean bbq, but anyway the one near sinsa station, you take the left if you're facing straight towards gangnam at the sinsa intersection, the third street take a right, go up the hill and it is across from the GS. The price is very good, and the service is always good. My absolute favorite place for jajangmeun (sorry I don't what the english spellings are), the Korean Chinese black bean noodle, is in Mira Apt in Apjujeong, it is where the fitness gym is, so after Hyundai department store going towards the 88, then Shin-hyundai, then its Mira apt, like maybe 4 blocks down form Hyundai department store, just go into the aptment complex and it will be there. I use to go there at least once a week with my family. For Dakgogi (hot chicken mixed rice), maybe I'm a noob, but my favorite place is in Rodeo Drive in Apgujeong, from the Gallaria side, go down 2 blocks then take a left then 2 blocks and its on your left side. But seriously, everywhere is usually great, if the place is packed, its good ^^ | ||
|
Yorbon
Netherlands4272 Posts
On February 06 2014 00:58 MightyAtom wrote: I guess i'm not very dutch, haha, i wouldn't call myself fearless. I guess my quarter Indonesian blood got the better of me there I have and I have a couple of friends from Netherlands as well, and of course one of them is Naz ^^ Well, I really love it there too, its been about 5 years though the last time I visited, but what I really like about the Dutch is that they are pretty forthright and can kickbox and really are fearless, from my experience at least. Did you know the first foreigners to Korea were ship wreaked Dutch sailors? A bit of a sad story, but the first foreign mixed blood was Dutch keke. You should come again soon :D + Show Spoiler + nah, i get you're quite busy, no need to take it too seriously I did not know that, pretty fun fact indeed. | ||
| ||
