EPTI know that it has been a while since I last blessed your lives with one of my amazing inventions. I apologize and offer only the excuse that I was preoccupied dealing with personal injury lawsuits stemming from my latest invention, the Syringe-Fork.
For the record, I’d like to say that with any new product on the market, there are always a few bumps in the road. You can’t expect a product as popular as the Syringe-Fork to not come with its fair share of casualties. But enough of that. You’re here because you couldn’t contain your excitement over my latest gadget. Without further ado, Epishade is proud to present:
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The SmartShoePhone!!!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/Mta9jFWl.jpg)
Now I’m sure you’re all wondering, “How did you invent this completely original device?” Well TL, it’s never easy to invent something, especially something as complicated as this. It wasn’t until I sat down by myself and thought, “I could go for some chicken right now” that I was enlightened with the idea of the SmartShoePhone. I spent many sleepless nights working on this incredibly useful gadget. I mean, just imagine the possibilities! With SmartShoePhone, you can now:
- Walk on your phone!
Never could you even dream of doing any of those things before!
Now, I realize the price of $10,000 might be just a tad out of everyone’s price range. For this I apologize. I hadn’t realized the research and development would cost so much. Tell you guys what though. You buy the SmartShoePhone right now, I’ll throw in the other shoe half-off. What a bargain!
But wait, there’s more! If you buy within the next 5 minutes of you reading this, I’ll throw in my most recently finished invention. Once again, Epishade is proud to present:
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The NailSock!!!
![[image loading]](http://i.imgur.com/2z54Lsbl.jpg)
With this invention, you can be sure that you’ll never lose your socks again. Simple drive the nail into your heel and presto, the sock sticks to you like magic!
What if you hear a funny joke though? Or view a presentation that would have just “blown your socks off”? Don’t worry, keeping your socks from falling off is NailSock’s specialty. That’s a guarantee, or your money back! We haven’t had a case yet where somebody legitimately had their socks blown off while wearing the NailSock. Why just listen to what this man had to say after trying out our product:
“OH GOD TAKE IT OFF! AHHHH!”
Now that sounds like a satisfied customer to us.
