You leech off me to perpetuate yourselves. Buzzing around my ears to let me know you're here and there's NOTHING I can do about it. I just want to slap every single one of you.
It's springtime in Alberta so the above can only refer to one little bastard: the mosquito. These fucking things are born by the thousand every spring around here, and they make going outside a thing to regret. I woke up this morning with mosquito bites on my FUCKING FEET. I stumbled down the stairs in a haze (as I do every morning), put the coffee on, and absentmindedly began scratching my feet. By the time the coffee was ready, my feet were still driving me nuts, and I was still scratching at them. I look down and they're bright red, with four or five little white dots on them. Those tiny sons of bitches BIT MY FUCKING FEET. The tops of my feet! I don't even know how this is possible.
I spent 20 minutes looking for some calamine lotion and came up empty-handed. I'm going to go fucking crazy before this day is over.