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Let's talk about LOVE - Page 2

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Saaph
Profile Joined February 2012
35 Posts
August 27 2012 10:57 GMT
#21
Yes, love is an illusion. It is only instinctively caused by chemical reactions inside your brain. All of this to achieve one sole goal: to plant your seed, transmit your genetic material in order for our specie to continue harboring the soil of this world for as long as it can.

In reality, love is an abstraction developped within our societies to mask one thing: we're still slaves to instincts. the Man's cognitive abilites just packaged it a bit so that it's easier to accept.
RageBot
Profile Joined November 2010
Israel1530 Posts
August 27 2012 11:09 GMT
#22
Love is the release of either Vasopressin if you're a male or Oxytocin if you're a female in your brain, during interactions with a member of the opposite sex who you deem attractive.
SoSexy
Profile Blog Joined February 2011
Italy3725 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-27 11:11:01
August 27 2012 11:10 GMT
#23
I'm in love with this girl I knew in junior high, we were 12 years old at the time. I liked her a lot and went out with her one time, but she just didn't want anything from me. Then High School started and we lost each other for about 10 years, including univeristy time. One day I met her in a club: we talked a bit and she left. Destiny wanted that we met again in a pub some days later and we began to talk: we went out the next days, we kissed and man, it felt good. Ten years of waiting. By the way, in this whole process she told me that she was in love with me in junior high but girls are stupid at that age and she wanted older guys etc.

The problem was that she was studying abroad for a year: I met her during Christmas holidays, so only 6 months to go :S we visited each other each month, more or less (my parents were so pissed off by the expenses for the plane tickets ) then in april I did one of the craziest things of my life: I took my car and drove to her in one day (1800 km, from Italy to southern Spain: I left at 6 am and arrived at 23 pm) and we rent a house together where we lived for two months, then we returned back by car together.

I'm having a wonderful time with this girl...just lately my scumbag brain is playing tricks on me for some reasons, I can't get past the fact that she had some relationships/boys before me. I know it's stupid, I also had some girls, but this thing is just consuming me. There are nights where I can't even sleep.

I want to carry on, because I'm sure this is true love, love that makes you do crazy things like that car drive. Hope I will be able to...
Dating thread on TL LUL
Eviscerador
Profile Joined October 2011
Spain286 Posts
August 27 2012 11:11 GMT
#24
There are some studies about love and the chemical reactions it sparks on our bodies.

In that way, it seems there are two kinds of love:

- The passion love, which is the magic of the first time, the butterflies, the long weekends without getting of the bed (and using a full box of condoms) In such state, your body pumps adrenaline in big quantities with a bit of endorfines. That is the reason you can't sleep, and you feel so wonderful and full of energy.

Unfortunately, our bodies cannot withstand such state for long (for auto conservation features), and at 2 years maximum, it just fades away and "the magic is lost"

So, how is that couples stay together more than that? Here enters the second kind of love:

- The confident love. On this state, which will replace the passion love, your body stops pumping adrenaline, but keeps dosing you endorfines when you are with the loved one. You have lost your energy, having sex all day is not that matters (although any good relationship is always fueled with the passion of sex) and all you have is the happiness of being with other human being and sharing a life and a long term project with him/her.

Nonetheless, both states are not tied to any stage or age of your life, and you can find a confident love at 18 yo with your first girlfriend and a passion love with 50 with a new met guy in the office.

Also, it is more or less clear that sex is what fuel both loves, pumping your body with adrenaline and endorfine. It will just reverse the quantities, being more adrenaline on the passion love, and less in the confident love.

That is the reason the cheating exists. There are some people which, even with someone to love in a confident way, lusts for the first days of magic only the passion love can give you.
A victorious warrior wins first, then goes to war. A defeated warrior goes to war and then seeks to win.
Kevan
Profile Joined April 2011
Sweden2303 Posts
Last Edited: 2012-08-27 19:59:20
August 27 2012 11:17 GMT
#25
Love might be an illusion but it still feels more real than everything else in this world. For better or for worse. I don't know much about love though.
SC2, rip in pepperinos
Diks
Profile Joined January 2010
Belgium1880 Posts
August 27 2012 11:23 GMT
#26
On August 27 2012 20:09 RageBot wrote:
Love is the release of either Vasopressin if you're a male or Oxytocin if you're a female in your brain, during interactions with a member of the opposite sex who you deem attractive.


Brilliant, I love that kind of talk
bITt.mAN
Profile Blog Joined March 2009
Switzerland3700 Posts
August 27 2012 11:30 GMT
#27
Basically, more than being some cryptic rule book that has no relevance to today, with proper investigation the Bible has a lot of really real, timeless, sound teaching on lots of human-nature-problems. Love is a big one. There's no way to bridge the topic adequately without quoting the most popular exposition on 'what is love' baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no more

1 Corinthians 13, very famous (e.g. weddings)
4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.



I would be inadequately prepared to present this verse, but that’s fine, cause as it happens the subject of the teaching at my Church [yes, I did say Church, don’t panic, it’s actually quite coherent and rational] has been on ‘Love’, and this passage was the subject of this Sunday’s sermon. Here’s a synopsis:
Click to hear the most recent one “But the Greatest of These is Love”, or even previous ones in the series
Last Week's Sermon


+ Show Spoiler [My Summary of His Sermon] +
"Because of the grandeur of its language, this passage is widely recognized as really great literature. So it’s often read, completely out of context, at weddings and at memorial services - such as at the funeral of Diana, Princess of Wales, by the then Prime Minister Tony Blair. Barack Obama also referenced it in his 2009 inaugural address to the nation, quoting the words “When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put childish ways behind me” (v11). When it’s read outside of its context it offers lofty sentiment with a Christian feel, but without making any overt Christian statement. So it can sound highly noble and inspirational. But it generally remains simply as words out of context and nothing more."

“In the secular realm [dat’s us, on TL, in modern society etc.] there is probably no topic that has been written about more than love [girl blogs?]. It’s inspired some of the world’s best music and best poetry – as well as some of its worst. But to get to the love which ‘remains’, as distinct from that which sooner or later passes away, this comes alone from the revelation which only God can give.”


He summarizes C.S.Lewis’ classic “The Four Loves”, where Lewis (Mr. Narnia) goes through and examines ‘the 4 different Greek words for “love” in the New Testament. These each portray different nuances and sides of ‘love’:


  • Storge, affection, parent<->Child
  • eros physical, sexual love
  • phileo companionship or friendship.
  • agapeeverlasting, ultimate top-down love, God<->his creation


“But the choice-centred love agape speaks of is not passing in nature, but ‘remains’. It’s not variable. It doesn’t degenerate with the passing of time. It doesn’t have to be re-worked as time goes on. It simply ‘remains’ because it is centred in eternity.”


“It “always protects. It always trusts. It always hopes. It always perseveres” Such love is just not possible out of purely human strength: sooner or later we run out of human resource for such love. It’s only made possible by the realization of the continuing extent of God’s love for us, clearing up our mess day after day, bearing everything we throw at Him, still affirming us as His child and ministering His identity to us. It’s only as we have the continuing revelation of His abiding love to us, which we then choose to remain in, that we can look to love others with love which always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres.”


In conclusion, you can summarize love:
  • is silence when your words would hurt
  • is patience when your neighbour’s curt
  • is deafness when the scandal flows
  • is thoughtfulness for another’s woes
  • is promptness when stern duty calls
  • is courage when misfortune falls


I should do OPs too /:
BW4LYF . . . . . . PM me, I LOVE PMs. . . . . . Long live "NaDa's Body" . . . . . . Fantasy | Bisu/Best | Jaedong . . . . .
OdiousTea
Profile Blog Joined January 2011
Australia357 Posts
August 27 2012 11:34 GMT
#28
Quite reminds me of a certain William Blake poem:
+ Show Spoiler +

"Love seeketh not itself to please,
Nor for itself hath any care,
But for another gives its ease,
And builds a heaven in hell's despair."

So sung a little Clod of Clay,
Trodden with the cattle's feet,
But a Pebble of the brook
Warbled out these metres meet:

"Love seeketh only Self to please,
To bind another to its delight,
Joys in another's loss of ease,
And builds a hell in heaven's despite."


To address the OP everything you mention is true- depending on who you ask.
But my two cents is that love is making the most of what you have and just settling for it.
`dunedain
Profile Blog Joined April 2011
657 Posts
August 27 2012 11:34 GMT
#29
One word, Compassion.
"In order to be created, a work of art must first make use of the dark forces of the soul." ~Albert Camus
AcesAnoka
Profile Joined April 2011
Belgium262 Posts
August 27 2012 11:34 GMT
#30
On August 27 2012 19:55 ShadeR wrote:
Person in the world who irritates you the least.

wow i love how you look at this hah
masters terran eu
FireBlast!
Profile Blog Joined January 2005
United Kingdom5251 Posts
August 27 2012 11:53 GMT
#31
Victoria Concordia Crescit
sc4k
Profile Blog Joined January 2010
United Kingdom5454 Posts
August 27 2012 11:55 GMT
#32
On August 27 2012 20:10 SoSexy wrote:
I'm in love with this girl I knew in junior high, we were 12 years old at the time. I liked her a lot and went out with her one time, but she just didn't want anything from me. Then High School started and we lost each other for about 10 years, including univeristy time. One day I met her in a club: we talked a bit and she left. Destiny wanted that we met again in a pub some days later and we began to talk: we went out the next days, we kissed and man, it felt good. Ten years of waiting. By the way, in this whole process she told me that she was in love with me in junior high but girls are stupid at that age and she wanted older guys etc.

The problem was that she was studying abroad for a year: I met her during Christmas holidays, so only 6 months to go :S we visited each other each month, more or less (my parents were so pissed off by the expenses for the plane tickets ) then in april I did one of the craziest things of my life: I took my car and drove to her in one day (1800 km, from Italy to southern Spain: I left at 6 am and arrived at 23 pm) and we rent a house together where we lived for two months, then we returned back by car together.

I'm having a wonderful time with this girl...just lately my scumbag brain is playing tricks on me for some reasons, I can't get past the fact that she had some relationships/boys before me. I know it's stupid, I also had some girls, but this thing is just consuming me. There are nights where I can't even sleep.

I want to carry on, because I'm sure this is true love, love that makes you do crazy things like that car drive. Hope I will be able to...


WHY is this not in a girl blog???? Make a girl blog!!!!

On topic: guy quoted in OP is probably just bitter about his shitty romantic life.
xM(Z
Profile Joined November 2006
Romania5299 Posts
August 27 2012 12:00 GMT
#33
On August 27 2012 19:53 zdfgucker wrote:
Show nested quote +
On August 27 2012 19:34 xM(Z wrote:
the only 'true love' that exists is the love of self (...because you have to and it's unconditioned). all other kinds of love are a projection of that love on to someone/something based on an assumption.


Then I assume that I am the offspring of my parents and love them for giving me the chance to live life.

that's not love, it's debt. you are/feel indebted to them.
also, your parents did not made 'you', else it would mean that they could predict the future, your future.
And my fury stands ready. I bring all your plans to nought. My bleak heart beats steady. 'Tis you whom I have sought.
wwJd)El_Mojjo
Profile Blog Joined September 2009
Sweden173 Posts
August 27 2012 12:04 GMT
#34
On August 27 2012 19:55 ShadeR wrote:
Person in the world who irritates you the least.

Isn't it quite often the other way around though? The people you love can be the ones who irritates you the most.
Gc.El_Mojjo
Brainsurgeon
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Sweden359 Posts
August 27 2012 12:11 GMT
#35
Either I don't know what love is or I have never been in love.
Say no to drugs. Say yes to hugs!
Nore
Profile Joined October 2010
New Zealand128 Posts
August 27 2012 12:11 GMT
#36
Is this so specific that it only applies to your partner ? what about your parents or your siblings ? To me it seems like love is trust, respect, honesty, forgiveness, understanding, selflessness and probably many more things that i can't think of now.. Unless this professor specialises in love I don't see how he can give any better advice then then your next door neighbour.

People experience life in different ways and make their own judgements on their own past not everyone else's.


adwodon
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United Kingdom592 Posts
August 27 2012 12:13 GMT
#37
On August 27 2012 17:44 Shiragaku wrote:
I was going to write out a long post, but I have to head to school soon D:

To make things really basic and short, would it be fair to say that love it the appreciation of one's consciousness and lust is appreciation of the other person's body?


No, love has very little to do with 'appreciation'. To put it very bluntly, loving someone, in a real, long term, relationship basically means that you'll put up with their shit and still find them attractive and want to be with them.

Love is all about the mundane, the day to day. It has very little to do with grand gestures and immense feelings. That, if anything, is lust, which isn't just confined to wanting to rip someones clothes off, lust is that strong attraction you initially feel.

We are ultimately comfortable with routine, with mundane. We like our little space in the world and we like it to remain fairly constant, at least once you pass a certain age. This is what love essential stems from, its being with someone and not wanting that to change, they annoy you from time to time, but you can put up with it because they are always there and that change would be too big a jolt to your life.

That's ultimately what builds a long and loving relationship, a mutual understanding that neither of you are perfect, but you don't want things to change, you are content with your life and the person you are sharing it with.

This is why love is such an anomaly for the young, including myself. Often we haven't reach that stage in our lives when we want things to remain constant and so we have no real need to develop those 'deeper' feelings of attachment to someone, because we are still young, we can change our relationship and its no big deal, maybe a few hurt feelings, drinks and tears but you don't have kids, share a mortgage, know what makes each other tick on a day to day basis, losing them wouldn't be like losing a part of yourself.

I hope that makes at least some semblance of sense. I would also say that while it may initially seem like a very pessimistic view, it really isn't and at some point you'll probably have a better understanding of why that is, but it's just one of those things you have to figure out on your own.
DoubleReed
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States4130 Posts
August 27 2012 12:19 GMT
#38
Love is having your best friend be a total hottie that wants to jump you.
JeanLuc
Profile Joined September 2010
Canada377 Posts
August 27 2012 12:20 GMT
#39
The professor isn't saying anything very controversial. When he says love doesn't exist he means love as we perceive it in youth, in its highly idealized hollywood delivered form. Of course classroom full of media addled young PUKES instinctively move to protest "All you need is love", etc. Funny how their expressions are all cliched lyrics from highly overrated John Lennon ditties. It seems the jist of what he is saying is that what love means to you is circumstantial. When we are young we are not yet defeated by life so it means the most intensely emotional, physically, beautiful thing it could mean, a Romeo and Juliet kind of story. Later on, after a few defeats, its about sex on the beach, bitch. And later on, a few defeats later, it's about someone who understands you and doesn't friggin stab you in the back!! But what I don't agree with is the way he talks like this is inevitable. It may unfold this way for many people, but some people due to their success in life, or what have you, won't ever have to settle for one of his more pragmatic, humble definitions of love.

Love could mean having a true connection to a deflated volleyball named Wilson on a desert island should life screw us over enough. Or, if we are lucky enough, it could mean something akin to a Shakespearan classic.
If you can't find it within yourself to stand up and tell the truth-- you don't deserve to wear that uniform
DoubleReed
Profile Blog Joined September 2010
United States4130 Posts
August 27 2012 12:24 GMT
#40
On August 27 2012 19:57 Saaph wrote:
Yes, love is an illusion. It is only instinctively caused by chemical reactions inside your brain. All of this to achieve one sole goal: to plant your seed, transmit your genetic material in order for our specie to continue harboring the soil of this world for as long as it can.

In reality, love is an abstraction developped within our societies to mask one thing: we're still slaves to instincts. the Man's cognitive abilites just packaged it a bit so that it's easier to accept.


Saying that love is chemicals and is a physical reaction is the exact opposite of saying that love is an illusion.
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