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Don't post in this thread to say "gay gamers are like everyone else, why do they have a special thread?" It is something that has been posted numerous times, and this isn't the place for that discussion.
For regular posters, don't quote the trolls. |
On March 08 2011 09:58 Arkless wrote:Show nested quote +On August 27 2010 21:21 Mora wrote:On August 27 2010 21:14 CubEdIn wrote:On August 27 2010 21:09 Mora wrote:On August 27 2010 21:07 CubEdIn wrote:LOL I was so happy to rush-post something about you and incontrol but you obviously saw it coming. So yeah, start with that please. And I'm more interested in how the process of "dating" goes, rather than who gets to be on top first.  Incontrol is a sexy motherfucker. And he's a good Starcraft player. 'nuff said. you need to be more specific about the dating question. We date like all other people. We will often drink coffee, go to movies, or go for beers. though it's not unusual to go for walks on the beach either. Oh, that's not really what I meant. I was mostly referring to the fact that in most movies, clips, parodies, etc, they depict the dating scene as just "wham, bam, thank you... sir". Now I know that there are obviously people who date and have long-lasting relationships, but I'm wondering, since it's a relationship between two men, and men are usually willing to have sex a lot easier than women (or not really, but there's no fidgeting regarding this aspect). Or at least that's the impression. Is it really like that, mostly one-night stands? Does sex come first in a relationship? Is it as important as in a heterosexual relationship or is it a lot easier to have great sex? Hmmm... I think that about covers it, there's just too many things that come to mind at once. Hope I'm not over-burdening with questions. As you mentioned, there is a range in the types of relationships that occur. That being said, it's generally a pretty promiscuous bunch. i now know about 10 married gay couples, and all of them have open relationships. I'm more of a 1-night stander kind of guy myself. I have a pretty busy life, and spending extra time on relationship stuff isn't high on the priority list. Don't get me wrong, if i meet someone who's just all kinds of great, then i'd stick around, it's just not what i'm looking for right now. Summer is busier for us in general, but this summer i think my count is 20 or so? (qualifying encounters being ones where at least one person ejaculates). On the day before the Vancouver pride parade i woke up in a hotel room (to my surprise). I roll over to see who has their arm around me and i think who the fuck are you?. lol Then i roll over the other direction... and i say to myself who the fuck are you?and then a 3rd guy walks out of the washroom. i hope i enjoyed that night! Disgusting, whether you are straight or gay. 20 different ppl in 2 months? Aids incoming
I'm not sure how you didn't get banned for this. I agree though, but no need to put it that harshly.
On March 04 2011 23:51 marvellosity wrote:Show nested quote +On March 04 2011 12:47 adrenaLinG wrote:
While a lot of "camp" gays are incredibly annoying because they perpetuate stereotypes about gays, they suffer the same marginalization as everyone else. Incredibly annoying why? Because they don't blend in with the straight majority? Why should being 'masculine' be more desirable than being feminine/camp?
I got banned for saying it in a not so nice way but no, it's not just because they don't blend in. It's because it's annoying that someone feels the need to lure attention to the fact that they're homosexual. I'm gay and I die a little on the inside everytime I see a flamboyant person because it only adds to the shitty stereotype people already believe about gay people.
Quite frankly I'd much rather have people believe we're normal people just like anyone else, just with different tastes. Just like I don't want anyone to forcefully indulge me with their religion, I don't want anyone to do that with their sexuality either.
We get it, you're gay. Get over it.
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On March 08 2011 16:21 adrenaLinG wrote:Jeez r1ch read the thread I've already posted that 
It was relevant to the context of the thread, and people can't read very well anyway so it doesn't hurt to link it again .
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I just realised that when I first started posting on this thread that I hadn't come out to all of my family. Over Christmas I came out to my dad (and my mum officially). It was one of the best feelings I've ever had in my life when I'd done it. Just such a massive easing of tension between me and my parents, and I feel like our relationships will be SO much better for not having such a massive lie sitting right there between us.
I realise I'm lucky in having extremely liberal, loving parents, and that I could in fact have come out many years ago to them without anything terrible happening (came out first to my sisters when I was 15, now 19). But I dunno, I think I just wanted to share some love/happy with my fellow TLers.
^^
Re Mora's question about developing as a person, I'm only 19 but GOD am I confused about what I'm gonna do in life. I guess my opinion on it is that I should just try and take baby steps towards being a better person. I find it a little frustrating though, I know there are so many ways in which I could be better but have so much trouble going about doing any of them. Too much thinking, not enough acting.
This post makes me feel all happy and 'glow'-y. Don't know why ^^
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On March 08 2011 16:34 dunc wrote:
I got banned for saying it in a not so nice way but no, it's not just because they don't blend in. It's because it's annoying that someone feels the need to lure attention to the fact that they're homosexual. I'm gay and I die a little on the inside everytime I see a flamboyant person because it only adds to the shitty stereotype people already believe about gay people.
Quite frankly I'd much rather have people believe we're normal people just like anyone else, just with different tastes. Just like I don't want anyone to forcefully indulge me with their religion, I don't want anyone to do that with their sexuality either.
We get it, you're gay. Get over it.
You might get it, but not everyone does. Check out Kyle's blog if you haven't already, he makes some good points as to why "gay pride" is necessary.
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On March 08 2011 16:44 R1CH wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 16:34 dunc wrote:
I got banned for saying it in a not so nice way but no, it's not just because they don't blend in. It's because it's annoying that someone feels the need to lure attention to the fact that they're homosexual. I'm gay and I die a little on the inside everytime I see a flamboyant person because it only adds to the shitty stereotype people already believe about gay people.
Quite frankly I'd much rather have people believe we're normal people just like anyone else, just with different tastes. Just like I don't want anyone to forcefully indulge me with their religion, I don't want anyone to do that with their sexuality either.
We get it, you're gay. Get over it. You might get it, but not everyone does. Check out Kyle's blog if you haven't already, he makes some good points as to why "gay pride" is necessary.
I've read that and I'm all for fighting for equal rights. That doesn't have much to do with the flamboyant acting outside of parades though.
I've met people of whom I actually thought they were just trying hard to be like that since they were like every single move gay stereotype. I'm probably quite oblivious to this as I will never go to a parade and I realize my other post might sound a bit ignorant. I was just trying to explain why people(and I) don't particularly enjoy having flamboyant people around.
I can't say how often I've heard, "I didn't expect you to be gay at all" in my life and it makes me sad that people think the norm for gay people are the ones they see in movies/tvshows with the ..incredibly annoying accents, walking etc.
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On March 08 2011 07:14 sotmh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 02:22 ferry wrote:
In a general sense how easy is it for you to be just friends with another man? Is it easier to be friends with women? Most of my friends are straight men. I would say that I learned pretty quickly how to move people I'm attracted to but have no chance with into the platonic attraction category. I would say it's not really different then what straight guys do for women they are platonic friends with.
Oh to be able to easily relegate people to a platonic attraction category...
Seriously, it's taken me SO long to learn not to go more than a little bit mental over straight guys. Friggin' years.
I have a question people: What was your first crush like? Were they straight? How long did it take you to get over them?
I'll start :D He was a boy in my school (obviously) who is to this day one of the most attractive human beings I've ever met. Tall, broad, amazing body, nice hair, gorgeous eyes, cheeky smile, really clever and most painfully of all he was preposterously nice and friendly. He was also one of the guys who developed (ie got manly) the earliest. God there was ally of aching and yearning. He was straight so I couldn't do anything at all.
Meh I'm kinda over him now. First crushes are always hard to get over anyway
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I have a question people: What was your first crush like? Were they straight? How long did it take you to get over them? I'll start :D He was a boy in my school (obviously) who is to this day one of the most attractive human beings I've ever met. Tall, broad, amazing body, nice hair, gorgeous eyes, cheeky smile, really clever and most painfully of all he was preposterously nice and friendly. He was also one of the guys who developed (ie got manly) the earliest. God there was ally of aching and yearning. He was straight so I couldn't do anything at all. Meh I'm kinda over him now. First crushes are always hard to get over anyway
My first crush was when I was 15(I'm 19 now) over a guy who I still talk to daily and we're best friends etc. He's literally still the most amazing and perfect looking guy I've seen to this day. I'm lucky because he turned out to be ehm, with lack of a better word bicurious and after we hung out a lot we sorta got ideas and by the time I was 16 we decided to try out "this gay thing" and have a relationship(though he didn't come out, I did) which lasted 3 years.. Broke up because he didn't want to give up having kids, getting married and stuff last summer!
So trust me I know it's hard to get over your first crush/first love but there's enough guys in the world so, no reason to dwell over the past. You seem young considering your post about maturing/school so I'm certain it will work out!
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On March 08 2011 16:53 dunc wrote:
I've met people of whom I actually thought they were just trying hard to be like that since they were like every single move gay stereotype. I'm probably quite oblivious to this as I will never go to a parade and I realize my other post might sound a bit ignorant. I was just trying to explain why people(and I) don't particularly enjoy having flamboyant people around.
I can't say how often I've heard, "I didn't expect you to be gay at all" in my life and it makes me sad that people think the norm for gay people are the ones they see in movies/tvshows with the ..incredibly annoying accents, walking etc.
By flamboyant do you mean effeminate? 'cause some guys are just naturally effeminate (and some of them are straight). There's nothing wrong with being effeminate, it's just a characteristic like hair or eye color. Or do you mean more of an exaggerated campy-ness adopted as an affectation, because my experience seems to be that most gay guys who do that drop it as they get older.
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On March 08 2011 18:06 sotmh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 16:53 dunc wrote:
I've met people of whom I actually thought they were just trying hard to be like that since they were like every single move gay stereotype. I'm probably quite oblivious to this as I will never go to a parade and I realize my other post might sound a bit ignorant. I was just trying to explain why people(and I) don't particularly enjoy having flamboyant people around.
I can't say how often I've heard, "I didn't expect you to be gay at all" in my life and it makes me sad that people think the norm for gay people are the ones they see in movies/tvshows with the ..incredibly annoying accents, walking etc. By flamboyant do you mean effeminate? 'cause some guys are just naturally effeminate (and some of them are straight). There's nothing wrong with being effeminate, it's just a characteristic like hair or eye color. Or do you mean more of an exaggerated campy-ness adopted as an affectation, because my experience seems to be that most gay guys who do that drop it as they get older.
I mean an exaggeration. I'm fine with people being who they are, as you said some are more effeminate than others but I'm talking about people who literally act as if they just stepped out of some cliché show. I don't know, I dislike guys who try hard to seem like tough guys just as much.
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I have a question people: What was your first crush like? Were they straight? How long did it take you to get over them?
I'm 17, my first crush was last semester. Noticed a pretty cute boy in one of my classes and became friends with him. He kept giving hints towards both gay and not gay, so I was very confused for a while. Eventually I realized he was straight, and I kinda just limited my exposure to him.
Too bad the only other cute boy at my school is straight too.
On March 08 2011 16:28 adrenaLinG wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 01:41 marvellosity wrote:On March 05 2011 12:01 adrenaLinG wrote:On March 04 2011 23:51 marvellosity wrote:On March 04 2011 12:47 adrenaLinG wrote:
While a lot of "camp" gays are incredibly annoying because they perpetuate stereotypes about gays, they suffer the same marginalization as everyone else. Incredibly annoying why? Because they don't blend in with the straight majority? Why should being 'masculine' be more desirable than being feminine/camp? Uh, because they legitimize stereotypes by heterosexuals that you are supposed to be fighting against? We're not fighting against that stereotype, rather the point is that not all gays are like that stereotype. The fact that some are isn't a negative. "All Koreans play Starcraft 2" would be a stereotype. Plenty of Koreans would point out that they do not in fact play Starcraft 2. That doesn't make the ones that do "incredibly annoying" because they're perpetuating the stereotype that all Koreans play Starcraft 2... I disagree. Many Koreans would be upset if you went up to them talking about Starcraft if you assumed they play, just because they're Korean. Especially if playing Starcraft meant that people teased them about it, the same way acting flamboyant gets jokes from straight dudes. So yes, it would be incredibly annoying, if playing Starcraft was a bad thing -- how would you feel if you were one of the Koreans that didn't play and everyone always made fun of you for it?
Being effeminate is not a bad thing...that's kinda the point.
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On March 08 2011 18:14 dunc wrote:
I mean an exaggeration. I'm fine with people being who they are, as you said some are more effeminate than others but I'm talking about people who literally act as if they just stepped out of some cliché show. I don't know, I dislike guys who try hard to seem like tough guys just as much.
If I may offer some unsolicited advice, the best thing you, or anyone else, can do to promote acceptance is to just be yourself and share your life and experiences with your friends and family. Don't worry about what other guys do.
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On March 08 2011 18:39 sotmh wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 18:14 dunc wrote:
I mean an exaggeration. I'm fine with people being who they are, as you said some are more effeminate than others but I'm talking about people who literally act as if they just stepped out of some cliché show. I don't know, I dislike guys who try hard to seem like tough guys just as much. If I may offer some unsolicited advice, the best thing you, or anyone else, can do to promote acceptance is to just be yourself and share your life and experiences with your friends and family. Don't worry about what other guys do.
I'm not going out of my way for these people, but they are everywhere. That advice would work if people like that kept to themselves, but they obviously do not.
There's no need to act like someone else, if they just acted like themselves and not tried so hard to make a statement about what/who they are I'm sure they'd never have problems.
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On March 08 2011 18:44 dunc wrote:
I'm not going out of my way for these people, but they are everywhere. That advice would work if people like that kept to themselves, but they obviously do not.
Yes, but you understand that your words sound strikingly similar to 'Don't shove your lifestyle down my throat,' and 'Why can't you just stay in the closet?'. You wanting them to stop engaging in behavior for the simple reason that it offends you is, well, pretty close to the same thing that gay people have heard from social conservatives.
There's no need to act like someone else, if they just acted like themselves and not tried so hard to make a statement about what/who they are I'm sure they'd never have problems.
And this. I'm just going to assume this is naivete. I'm not the stereotype, I'm not effeminate, people are surprised to learn I'm gay, yadda, yadda, yadda and yet:
1. I've been threatened.
2. I've been called a faggot by guys who meant it and meant to backup those words with violence.
3. I've been denied housing for being gay.
4. I nearly lost a job because my employer thought I might be gay (not my present job, but a previous one).
And this is all within the last 14 years. These problems were not visited upon me because I acted flamboyantly, they happened because bigoted people were in a position to exercise their power on someone who they thought was unusual. They didn't even care if I really was gay or not, just the suspicion was enough because I was:
1. Walking in front of the gay youth center in town.
2. Walking out of a restaurant with another man.
3. Tried to rent a house with my boyfriend.
4. It's complicated, but I don't discuss my personal life at work, my employer was just a jerk.
What you are doing is called blaming the victim.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On March 08 2011 16:28 adrenaLinG wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 01:41 marvellosity wrote:On March 05 2011 12:01 adrenaLinG wrote:On March 04 2011 23:51 marvellosity wrote:On March 04 2011 12:47 adrenaLinG wrote:
While a lot of "camp" gays are incredibly annoying because they perpetuate stereotypes about gays, they suffer the same marginalization as everyone else. Incredibly annoying why? Because they don't blend in with the straight majority? Why should being 'masculine' be more desirable than being feminine/camp? Uh, because they legitimize stereotypes by heterosexuals that you are supposed to be fighting against? We're not fighting against that stereotype, rather the point is that not all gays are like that stereotype. The fact that some are isn't a negative. "All Koreans play Starcraft 2" would be a stereotype. Plenty of Koreans would point out that they do not in fact play Starcraft 2. That doesn't make the ones that do "incredibly annoying" because they're perpetuating the stereotype that all Koreans play Starcraft 2... I disagree. Many Koreans would be upset if you went up to them talking about Starcraft if you assumed they play, just because they're Korean. Especially if playing Starcraft meant that people teased them about it, the same way acting flamboyant gets jokes from straight dudes. So yes, it would be incredibly annoying, if playing Starcraft was a bad thing -- how would you feel if you were one of the Koreans that didn't play and everyone always made fun of you for it?
Wait. What are you trying to say? That being gay is a bad thing? That being camp is a bad thing? Or because people make fun of something, that makes that thing inherently bad, rather than the people making fun?
The thrust of your argument seems to be that because people take the piss out of flamboyant gays, then being flamboyant is bad.
Nuh-uh. Macho gays aren't better than camp gays, or vice versa.
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United Kingdom36161 Posts
On March 08 2011 16:41 R1CH wrote:Show nested quote +On March 08 2011 16:21 adrenaLinG wrote:Jeez r1ch read the thread I've already posted that It was relevant to the context of the thread, and people can't read very well anyway so it doesn't hurt to link it again .
Surely there's something wrong with this survey.
The problem being that it's the kind of person who signs up to OkCupid who are providing the sample data.
To put it bluntly, do you think the kind of person who can pick up and fuck whoever they like is as likely to be on the site as someone who can't?
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'I don't mind gay people, I just hate how some people are in your face about it.'
I hear this sentence a lot. Usually it translates to; 'I do have a problem with homosexuality, but if it's kept hidden I don't mind.' But even when that isn't the case, it still gets on my nerves. What's wrong with people acting how they like? What's actually wrong with making homosexuality a significant part of your personality? If it's none of your business if people are gay, why is it your business if they choose to act in a certain way? If flamboyance annoys you, well tough shit some people are flamboyant. (This is not directed at anyone in this thread, just venting)
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On March 09 2011 02:23 The KY wrote:
'I don't mind gay people, I just hate how some people are in your face about it.'
I hear this sentence a lot. Usually it translates to; 'I do have a problem with homosexuality, but if it's kept hidden I don't mind.' But even when that isn't the case, it still gets on my nerves. What's wrong with people acting how they like? What's actually wrong with making homosexuality a significant part of your personality? If it's none of your business if people are gay, why is it your business if they choose to act in a certain way? If flamboyance annoys you, well tough shit some people are flamboyant. (This is not directed at anyone in this thread, just venting)
I've heard that said a lot too "I don't care if you're gay, just don't be gay around me." Well, I don't want to sound like I am defending anyone (Because I'm not(, but I think that some people say that to protect them-self against unwanted criticism of being open towards homosexuality. It's a very highschool mentality, and it saddens me that people still think like this, but if I had to make a guess as to why people say it, I would say a fair amount think like that, when in reality as long as you aren't flat out hitting on them, they probably don't care too much whether you're gay or not. Just remove the peer pressure, or ego-threat from their homophobic friends or family, and you remove the mentality.
Again, I just want to clarify that I'm not trying to suggest how to change anyone, and I'm merely speculating. But it's always seemed this way to me.
Edit: I also forgot to note that most people still don't know, or don't understand gay people. They've been spoon fed media portrayals of super-fabulous lisping homosexuals that are all over any guy they can get their hands on, when in reality 98% of gays are really pretty much the same as anybody else, with the exception of their sexual preferences.
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On March 09 2011 02:23 The KY wrote:
'I don't mind gay people, I just hate how some people are in your face about it.'
The amusing part is that the people who say this will generally tell you about their kids or wife within the first five minutes of meeting you. But if you dare casually mention your same-sex partner it's 'Stop flaunting your sexuality, I don't want to know!'
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I just discovered the Nada's body thread.... why hasn't that thread been mentioned in here before?!?
+ Show Spoiler +
<3
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I have a question. I am straight, so this is from straight guys talking about homosexuality in our area. Please forgive me for possibly being politically incorrect or maybe mistaken in what ive seen.
I was wondering why is perfectly ok to have a rainbow colored "Celebrate Diversity" sticker on ones car, but you get all kinds of hate if you have a black and white "Celebrate Originality" sticker? I see over and over when a straight guy is proud of being straight he gets a ridiculous amount of hate for it, but if a straight guy starts "hating" or what not on a gay guy its sooooo wrong?
I think in situations like that it shouldnt be so hipocritical. I in no way support bashing in any way against any group.
The first experience with this is at my local highschool. Its ok to wave rainbow colored flags and have "Celebrate Diversity", gay parades ect. But a guy had a black and white "Celebrate Originality" sticker on his truck and was forced to remove it or be expelled. Other straight guys in the school were even "hated" on for wanting to hold a "straight" rally off campus. In my point of view it seems very one sided that one group (whether or not is wrong isnt the topic here) can verbally attack the other and not vice versa?
Please someone give me a reason other than "thats how it is". Which I hear over and over.
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EPT![[image loading]](http://img220.imageshack.us/img220/8987/66714799.jpg)
