Gay StarCraft Players - Page 162

On December 01 2011 14:06 Iniggo wrote:
Hey all. Like most I have been lurking around only reading the thread but I recently have been stumped about a few things and wanted to ask you fine people for some advice. I also saw that religion came up in the thread and while I have no desire at all to discuss religion here. Also, I guess we should have to assume that my beliefs are not subject to change. Ok, so here we go, sorry for the long post.

I grew up Catholic and in a Catholic School. I didn’t care for it and come high school I gave it up. I liked the idea of having a moral code and being a good person, just not the crippling guilt that seemed to accompany it. Ok so in college I really rediscovered my faith. Basically I just accepted that the world is broken, there is a purpose to life and therefore there is a creator and the only way for him to redeem us would be to sacrifice himself. Moving on.

About three years ago I began chatting online with and eventually sleeping with men. This game along with guilt, shame, and self loathing on a level I hadn’t heard of. Apparently, this was not a random occurance. I had never had a girlfriend, kisses a girl, had sex with a girl. Going back through old journals in high school I also found that I had asked out a few guys and had sexual fantasies about guys going back to middle school. However all I had been doing with guys was sex. This was really destroying me. April this year, I tried to kill myself. I suffer from bipolar depression apparently and I have spent a good amount of time with therapists and psychiatrists and all that jazz. So I am seriously messed up lol. Now my beliefs is that the whole Bible is true and if any word of it is a lie than the character of God is questionable and therefore any of it can be a lie and none of it is trustworthy. I don’t know if I believe if this is a choice. I know, that I cannot choose my attraction. I can choose whether I act upon this attraction, that’s a choice. However, I can’t choose if a guy turns me on but I can choose to act on that attraction. I can get over the faith stuff. The Bible is clear of this, no one is perfect, no one can be perfect and therefore we are saved not based upon our actions but based upon our faith. Although most of my friends are Christian and most of them are seriously motivated to keeping me straight.

The advice I get normally sucks. Non Christians will be quick to demand I just get over it and be gay since I’ve had sex with guys, etc. Christians I talk to don’t hate gay people they just encourage me as someone on the fence to not be gay. So this is all a mess in my head obviously but my debate is upon attraction. I have little to no experience or data to compare anything to anything. I have never been in a relationship with any gender. I have no experience of any kind with women. I have had sex with men and despite the overwhelming amount of hate and disgust I feel toward myself, I loved it. I haven’t been in a relationship with a guy and I cant imagine ever being in one with a guy. The big thing is I barely look at guys and go “he is cute” or “he is hot” or anything. I fantasize about guys but that’s about it. I find women gorgeous and such, absolutely gorgeous but I dunno.

I dunno. I don’t think I’m bi. I don’t like the idea of being bi, I dunno. I feel stuck in my life until I figure this out. Its awful. Sorry for the long post but any advice or help would be great. Feel free to PM me or whatever.

On December 02 2011 05:00 Barburas wrote:

I'm not religious but as I see it you have two conflicting things here. One is being gay, which all evidence points to not being something you choose or can alter. The other is if you have a literal belief of the bible (correct me if I'm wrong) and so as far I'm aware don't believe that any of it could have been misinterpreted/mistranslated and that it is entirely the word of the God you believe in.

So truthly, they don't fit if both of these things you have said are true. In my opinion, you'll never be able to truely be happy denying a part of yourself like that. The only way I could see you remotely make them fit is celibacy, but I don't know how you'd feel about that. If your stance is that your religious belief is entirely correct and nothing will change your mind on that, then I can't see any other outcome, sorry.

On December 02 2011 05:03 Iniggo wrote:


Aaaaaaaaaaaand thats why Im stuck lol. Im glad you saw the whole of the picture though lol. And know, I couldnt do celibacy.

On December 02 2011 05:38 jarrydesque wrote:
Reading through this makes me happy I was not brought up religiously.

Coming to terms with who you are as a young gay man is difficult enough without all the extra baggage from religion.

Also, regarding bisexuality - There is a saying: Bi now, gay later. It basically means that lots of men/woman prefer to come out as bi, because they feel it is more socially acceptable. I'm not saying that there is no such thing is bisexuality, but I don't think it's as common one might think it is.

On December 02 2011 05:38 jarrydesque wrote:
Reading through this makes me happy I was not brought up religiously.

Coming to terms with who you are as a young gay man is difficult enough without all the extra baggage from religion.

Also, regarding bisexuality - There is a saying: Bi now, gay later. It basically means that lots of men/woman prefer to come out as bi, because they feel it is more socially acceptable. I'm not saying that there is no such thing is bisexuality, but I don't think it's as common one might think it is.

On December 02 2011 05:38 jarrydesque wrote:
Also, regarding bisexuality - There is a saying: Bi now, gay later. It basically means that lots of men/woman prefer to come out as bi, because they feel it is more socially acceptable. I'm not saying that there is no such thing is bisexuality, but I don't think it's as common one might think it is.

On December 02 2011 05:49 Barburas wrote:


I don't really know how true this is overall, but most studies suggest there's more gay men than there are bi men. With women it seems to be the other way round, with many more bi women than there are lesbians.

On December 02 2011 06:16 SCST wrote:
Hi Iniggo,

In my opinion you are definitely gay, not bisexual or going through a phase.

It's important to know that being gay is 100% normal and not a a choice. From Wikipedia:

"In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association declassified homosexuality as a mental disorder. The American Psychological Association Council of Representatives followed in 1975. Consequently, while some still believe homosexuality is a mental disorder, the current research and clinical literature now only demonstrate that same-sex sexual and romantic attractions, feelings, and behaviors are normal and positive variations of human sexuality, reflecting the official positions of the American Psychiatric Association and the American Psychological Association."

Though it may be difficult to accept at first, there is some very basic logic here:

1. You're sexuality is not a a choice and you cannot change it.

2. Your religious beliefs are a choice and you can change or alter them as you see fit.

3. You will never be happy with your current beliefs, and continuing to believe that you are a sinner or "dirty" for something that is out of your control will only prolong your pain.

Therefore adopt a more liberal and modern view of religion and God. There's no need to renounce your religion, but if I were you, I would strive hard to completely eradicate any feelings of sin or guilt or dirtiness from your belief-system. If your current view of Christianity, your church or your peers cannot accommodate this journey, then get away from them. No one has the right to tell you how to feel about yourself or try to control who you are. No one.

And I would highly recommend dropping the Christian counselor asap and finding a regular psychiatrist. Your counselor's goal is not to help you, but to help him/herself based on his/her belief-system. This is dangerous for your mental health and sanity.

Also, it will be extremely advantageous for you to seek out and become friends with other gay people in your area or abroad. The more exposed you are to other gay people like yourself, the less "different" and "dirty" you will feel.

Just remember, when it comes down to it being gay is no different than having brown hair or blonde hair. It is what it is - God doesn't care. You are not a sinner. Live with it and enjoy your life.

Good luck!

On December 02 2011 05:40 Klondikebar wrote:


I first came out as bi...not a single one of my friends bought it though. It was pretty funny.

On December 02 2011 08:07 murphs wrote:
Can we please keep the religious nonsense out of what is a good thread?

On December 02 2011 08:32 GDR wrote:


I don't think it is nonsense if its helping someone. :|

On December 02 2011 07:37 kaisr wrote:


It's not as simple as that. Religious belief is not "just a choice" to true believers, it is the Truth and has precedence over everything else in life. The logic goes like this. God is real and all powerful and all knowing and all morality comes from God. Whether or not there is a choice in being gay is irrelevant - if God says its wrong, its wrong. I don't endorse this view, but it does create quite the dilemma.

On December 02 2011 11:54 Iniggo wrote:


this is truth.

What was said above is true. My faith is not a choice but rather a TRUTH of the world

God loves you. No one else on this Earth will tell you the exact same thing about the conflicts in faith and in flesh but the final word comes not from here, or a fellow believer, but from above. If you truly believe in God, in whatever form you choose, then he looks down on you with love and understanding.

On December 02 2011 12:24 TWThoth wrote:


So your faith, the truth of your world, and your possible sexuality, a truth about yourself are in direct conflict with one another.
This can only really ever be self-destructive, and the only real way to solve this problem is to accept yourself, as you are, if it means 'picking a side' as you put it, or doing away with labels entirely and just being who you are, then it has to be done for the sake of you being happy. If not dealt with, the situation may get worse =/

I think Probe1's reply was the best to address your question




No matter what us, or anyone else says, God is understanding, and loves you all the same, regardless of who you are.

God knows you better than anyone, and would not condem you solely for your desires, a loving God would not give such anguish to its creations.

Hope that helps ^_^