I think the writing is very good but I don't have much of a desire to read such a story. Biography/Autobiography of some of the most famous and beloved programers, maybe (say, Nada, Boxer, July, etc.) -- I'd be glad to read. In fact, I already read Boxer's auto. Alot of us at TL did. Maybe wait until a gamer reaches legendary status in SC2 -- wait for a "bonjwa". Something like that.

I love the Arrested Dev/Firefly refs.

edit: One little thing that's bothering me (I'm a writer, too), was that you seem to try so hard to find unique verbs/adverbs. Sometimes the best way to say "say" is... "say". I remember some famous writer saying something like that and it stuck in the back of my mind, really influencing every line I've written since then. Hemingway? I don't remember. Too much flair in every paragraph tires the reader out.

Keep writing, please!

tertle

Australia328 Posts

June 22 2011 01:26 GMT

#82

Might have a look when the paperback.

Congrats on releasing a novel anyway!

SixPackAbs

United States160 Posts

June 22 2011 01:27 GMT

#83

Day9 did it better

http://day9fan.com/~/boy-and-his-game-day9

Just write that down, and it is a way better sc2 book, the first 2 chapters make this look like someone who knows a little about starcraft and a little about writing tried to combine the two; much like mixing a strong acid with a strong base, they did not react well. Reads like a fanfic written by a casual fan.

Synche

United States1345 Posts

June 22 2011 01:35 GMT

#84

People hate on others way too easily IMO. Congratulations on writing a book, Erika, which is more than most of the people in this thread have done.

OreoBoi

Canada1639 Posts

June 22 2011 01:47 GMT

#85

Since the main character is named Sean, this book better have a good plott.

This sounds pretty interesting, I'll have to give it a read.

Rehio

United States1718 Posts

June 22 2011 01:50 GMT

#86

Started reading this.

I couldn't stop giggling while I read about Starcraft. Not because it's silly or embarrassing, but because it's so strange to read about this.

Dali.

New Zealand689 Posts

June 22 2011 01:52 GMT

#87

On June 22 2011 10:47 OreoBoi wrote:
Since the main character is named Sean, this book better have a good plott.

This sounds pretty interesting, I'll have to give it a read.

Ladies and Gentlemen, we have our winner.

Mikilatov

United States3897 Posts

June 22 2011 02:04 GMT

#88

This looks really cool. It's great to see a novel with some SC inspiration.

I'm going to check this out. =)

MindBreaker

United States574 Posts

June 22 2011 02:12 GMT

#89

Ehh... as much as I hate to be negative I gotta say its poorly written IMO. Its awesome to see all the cool references in there but there is so much fluff and excess detail it makes it really hard to read. Its a good try but if I buy it its only because its starcraft.... sowwy

Troxior

United States168 Posts

June 22 2011 02:21 GMT

#90

This story seems pretty fun! Like a good summer read full of nerdiness :3

pookadin

Australia422 Posts

June 22 2011 02:37 GMT

#91

I dont know if anyone here actually read the sample chapters but they are AWFUL.

The main characters' name is Sean Boxer....apparently because she is a fan of day 9 and slayers boxer..Get some imagination and originality..

Also, why does the story assume that only 1 of 2 americans can win the GSL? Thats not realistic at all...

It feels like its been written by a 14yo for an english assignment.

I love how she stereotypes our community into bachelors living as slobs with takeway and energy drink rubbish all around...

Atila

Cuba122 Posts

June 22 2011 02:42 GMT

#92

On June 22 2011 10:47 OreoBoi wrote:
Since the main character is named Sean, this book better have a good plott.
.

comedy gold

endy

Switzerland8970 Posts

June 22 2011 03:19 GMT

#93

On June 22 2011 10:47 OreoBoi wrote:
Since the main character is named Sean, this book better have a good plott.

That wasn't a tasteless joke for sure.

Alabasern

United States4005 Posts

June 22 2011 03:21 GMT

#94

On June 22 2011 12:19 endy wrote:

Show nested quote +

That wasn't a tasteless joke for sure.

My brain hurts P:

Chef

10810 Posts

June 22 2011 03:39 GMT

#95

I'm going to tell you something that upsets every writer the first time they hear it:

Cracking his knuckles, he set his fingers to the keyboard and got to work.

Don't start sentences this way. It is always more effective to write directly. "He cracked his knuckles and set his fingers to work on the keyboard." Maybe that sounds like the same thing, but trust me if you replace every sentence you wrote this way your book will read about 100 times better. If you're genuinely interested in becoming better at writing, please consider rewriting some of the paragraphs this way, and rereading them for yourself to see if it helps. I can't help you have better ideas, but I can tell you that this is one of the first things regular readers groan at when reading amateur fiction. Once you start noticing it it's horrible.

Shaithis

United States383 Posts

June 22 2011 03:41 GMT

#96

On June 22 2011 12:19 endy wrote:

Show nested quote +

That wasn't a tasteless joke for sure.

you're really good at making puns
very useful talent toi have

onedayclose

United States1145 Posts

June 22 2011 03:41 GMT

#97

Nice! Hopefully it will be released on paperback before the summer is over.

PheNOM_

United States417 Posts

June 22 2011 03:51 GMT

#98

Can't wait to buy a paperback! :D

Metaphysic

63 Posts

June 22 2011 03:57 GMT

#99

I read the sample chapters; it's not the worst writing I've ever seen but it's definitely not for adult readers.

It also reads like a bit of a cash grab by someone who doesn't actually know a lot about starcraft or the e-sports pro scene, but is just hoping that it will sell to some nerds who will buy anything starcraft related.

KuroN3ko

Malaysia154 Posts

June 22 2011 04:18 GMT

#100

Read the sample chapters, god damn that was cheesy. Also, that Sean Boxer character is a total douche. Try not to contradict yourself when your own character is talking, has an argument with "Serenity" over using proper words in chat, then ends with "kk"? Team games as a vehicle for practice in competitive Starcraft? Tank/Viking against Protoss?

My head hurts...