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After reading the posts on this thread and reading the excerpt, I am inclined to agree with a lot of the more critical TLers.
Please don't get me wrong Erika, any attempt at promoting Esports is good and you undoubtedly put a lot of work into this project.
I just think the book lacks passion. I don't want to read about an invincible and emotionless dimensionless protagonist. I want to read about an emotive trainwreck who overcomes obstacles and develops in character. Or failing that someone who at least ends up changing and growing as a result of his experiences in a realistic and extensive manner. Please excuse me if I have this wrong but, that's the impression the excerpt gives me.
Also I think taking the perspective of an outsider who is broguht into the sc2 gaming scene is a good one to take. You previously mentioned that this would be unrealistic. I disagree. All it takes to be good at starcraft is practice imho, but if you set the story in the protagonist's teens then the concept of an outsider learning to become pro stops being ludicrous and becomes an inevitability.
At that age, if you practice ANYTHING 6 hours a day every day, you become very good, very fast.
Now why would a young teenager spend so much time playing 1v1's at starcraft every single day?
Maybe he just got rejected by a girl at school and playing starcraft takes him away from that harsh reality into a fantasy world where he is the uber sexy terran commander, pwning noobs left, right and centre. Maybe he gets bullied. Maybe he has OCD. pick a crisis, any crisis.
I'm not a writer, but I am a reader and I know what I like. Add some character development and another dimension onto the protagonist (and a better name) and I'm sure your work will become the opus dei of the starcraft 2 literary community.
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So, I read Pwned this weekend and figured I'd take a minute to share my thoughts on the book for those who are sitting on the fence. Generally speaking, if you just want a very distilled reccomendation: I think that many of the criticisms posted by folks who took the time to give it a fair shake are accurate. This is clearly a first novel and, not to discredit the author's effort, not up to the quality you could expect from a major publishing house.
That being said, if you're just looking for a fun read, it's totally worth five bucks. The book moves along at a decent pace and is interesting enough to be a light summer read. If you're willing to approach the book with a healthy suspension of disbelief, just looking for a quick read that involves SC2, you'll enjoy it. If you're looking for something polished and perfectly faithful in its attention to SC2 detail, you will be disappointed by Pwned.
One other thing to point out: I was really wary of the whole "NSA trying to take down a pro-gamer" thing when I read the description of the novel, but in the actual plot it never comes across as a giant government conspiracy. I felt it was actually handled fairly well and ended up fitting in decently as a plot device.
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Erika, I just want to give some major props to you. You were brave in coming here with what could at best be called a dubious product, which quite a few people were very quick to point out in excruciating detail. Once all of this came out, you immediately put an extremely clever spin on it with the update to the original post. I'm sure that it would have been much easier for you to bow out with your tail between your legs, or start lashing out at people You handled this uncomfortable situation extremely well; I'm sure that your next book will be amazing.
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Canada13431 Posts
good luck with the first book :D
to all the haters and complainers, its a first book not everything you do for the first time is pure gold lets be honest here. And its not like she's charging 40 dollars for a hardcover either.
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Thanks guys! I think this goes down after today.
Thanks for all the constructive criticism and thank you to everyone who bought a copy! I hope you enjoy it 
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Read the preview, sorry to say it but kind of lame lol. I still think the concept of a narrative about eSports is really cool though ^_^
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EPT
