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On May 06 2009 11:51 LeperKahn wrote:Show nested quote +On May 06 2009 09:26 Machine[USA] wrote:
in 6th grade i walked into a bathroom and one of the special-ed kids was taking a shit in a urinal, so i turned around and ran out the door LOL I actually had this exact experience. Except it was 10th grade... The worst part was he was making this yelping sound. I have no idea how I didn't notice when I started walking in.
In grade 9 or so, I had just finished a 3 hour detention. These were held on Wednesdays, because we got out at noon, and you had to sit for 3 fucking hours in a tiny room. It was the same place they send you for in school suspensions, and it was brutal. Anyway, when I got out of the tiny prison, I walked down the hall by the girl's bathrooms to see the janitor hanging his head in shame. Wtf is his problem, I ask myself. As I walked by, I looked back. The toilet was caked in blood. Some bitch literally smeared Aunt Flo and the tomato truck from Red River all over the place. I never saw that poor bastard smile again.
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In 9th grade we hade 2 special persons in our class. One was a totaly gay boy who was also addictet to WoW , the oder was just a complete idiot with no brain.
IN school we often watched films. Allways when the teacher wanted to show us a movie he said 2 boys to get a tv. The Tvs are in a Closet with Wheels. The Lesson hastn stardet yet so every pupil could be on the corridor or in the classroom, the teachers were still in the teahcers lounge.
So it was the 2 boys, the idiots and gay boys turn to get a TV. after a while someon came into the classroom and shouted: " they destroyed the closet". So every pupil of the whole 9th grade went out of the classroom into the corridor an laughed because, ther rammed the wall with the closet and the Door of the closet was seperatet from the closet now^^. So there were 90 people on the corridor watching the 2 boys who had totally red faces bringing the tv into the classroom. Now comes the funny part^^. 5 meter before they reached the classroom the one boy pushed but the oder one didnt pay attention and (the closet had no doors anymore) the TV fell out and crushed on the floor!
That was on of the funniest moments of my entire school time (in regards that i really hated those 2 boys, everyon did^^) . The TV lays on the ground an 90 people stood around laughing^^
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sounds like you were / are an average ass in school. Everyone hated them? More like everyone bullied them b/c they were the weakest ones and you didn't want to turn others on you.
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ok yes your right, i and my friends bullied the gay boy all the time. It was not nice i know  today im really nice to him, but hes kind of retarded.the other boy was not really hated by everyone, but he was a real idiot and it was just a funny fact that it happened to HIM.
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Earlier this year, a few gang members brutally beat up a (rival) gang member. As I was walking to my class after seeing the jumping, I was talking to my friend stating how retarded gangs are. Just as I turn the corner, I see them speed walking towards what seemed to be the door. Thank god they were in a hurry, and had no time for me. I hadn't seen them since. :D
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Yeah this should not have been revived.
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I agree that was an unjust bump..
On September 26 2008 00:52 CaucasianAsian wrote:
Oh high school boners...
Back in like 10th grade, I used to joke around with this asian chick who rode my bus, she was a little cute, but she was innocent as fuck, she literally had no idea what the word "pussy" meant until halfway through 10th grade. Anyway, so I'm sitting in the back with some friends, and she gets on, and the bus is overcrowded as usual. So she says something along the lines of "where can i sit now?" So I point to my crotch and say, well you can sit here.
She makes a tiny gesture and decides to do so. Well, for an obvious reason, there's a cute chick sitting on my crotch, and she moves a little to get a little more comfortable. That movement did it for me, instantly I can feel my cock slowly get harder and harder, and press against my pants more and more.
After a couple of seconds, I have a raging hard on, and she turns her head, looks at me, and as I said she is innocent as fuck, so she leans to a side, and puts her hand on my pants, and feels my raging boner, and says "EWWW YOUR PENIS IS HARD"
But my god that's fucking hillarious..
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For my 6th grade graduation (and 25 year principals retirement night) I celebrated by vomiting in front of 800 people. And by in front I mean l was on stage with the rest of the kids doing some song for our parents and BAAAAAAAAAAARF front row center baby. Edit: migranes are a bitch.
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Fuck Highschool Musical. My life should have a movie made of it.
1. My Health class turned into 80 minutes of gay, masturbation, anal, sexist, booze, weed, and STD jokes. It's one of the highlights of my highschool life (no joke).
2. At my school, we do this thing called, "Relay For Life." You get into groups of 5-6 and get a tent and walk around a track for a day (like, 24 hours) for money that gets donated to cancer research. It goes in shifts, with one person walking for like an hour, and switching off to another guy. Those who don't walk hung out in the tents.
Hundreds of highschoolers, alone, ALL DAY (midnight to midnight), unsupervised. Without explanation as to why, it turns into one of the biggest parties of the year (complete with more weed, sex, and beer than any of the other parties combined).
Some chicks were in my tent taking up all of my drinks and weed. This had been going on for hours and hours, and finally I just yelled out (so everyone around us would hear), "Okay. You all better starting putting-out, or GET THE HELL OUT OF MY TENT." Though it was a joke, their choices were then limited to leaving (and being seen as crude, bitchy mooches by everyone), or putting out. They took the latter.
(No worries, I didn't force them or anything. It was basically already happening, that was just my perverted choice in how to seal the deal and embarrass them/have some fun).
EDIT #1 (i'll prolly have a lot more stories soon):
3. In my science class, the teacher always put the papers on a small table in the back of the class. Being recently moved the the table directly in front of it, I didn't see the need to get out of my seat. And, seeing as a I was doing some of the homework in class, I kept my attention elsewhere and just grabbed behind (where I guessed the papers were). I stopped when I realized that I actually grabbed something squishy and made of fabric. Curious, I turn around, and I accidently did a perfect ass grab with one of the hottest/most popular chicks in my grade. Luckily, we're pretty damn good friends (and she's.... promiscuous), so we both made some awkward joking facial expressions and made comments like, "So, enjoying it down there?" and, "Eh, I've felt better."
EDIT #2:
4. In my health class, we were required to ask an anonymous question after class everyday on a slip of paper. Obviously, no one took this seriously. We would pre-plan our questions that we would all write, because if enough people asked the same thing, she would have to answer. In great detail.
These questions revolved around:
"Do gay people get turned on by mirrors?"
"Do animals masturbate?"
"Is it true that it's not rape if it lasts less than 5 seconds? Why?"
"I'm taking a pill that's supposed to increase the size of my penis, and it's not working. Is this a problem with me, or should I get another brand?"
EDIT #3:
4. At a party, some friends and I got really, really, REALLY high. Later on, the host's dad walked in (he was a chill guy and wasn't mad at us for doing that kind of stuff. He just didn't want it in his house). As a gut reaction, all of the 7-8 people ran away and hid. Some really ugly chick and I chose the same dark closet and stayed there for like 8 minutes. When we came out, everyone else had come out and was acting regular. With one look at us, everyone got really silent and awkward and thought that we fucked in the closet.
There are still a handful of people who think that I did...
EDIT #4:
5. I got really drunk one night and went all Brett Favre. I sent a total of 12 dick-pics to different chicks, all in very specific situations.
In one, my dick was fighting a Rock Em', Sock Em' robot.
In another, it was playing monopoly.
In another, it was being executed by my Xbox's disk drive (it was stuck through it).
In another, it was having a staring contest with itself (via mirror).
In another, it was staring at a picture of Misty from Pokemon.
What makes this worse, I can't remember this and I deleted all of those texts after I sent them. So, for the next few weeks, I lived in constant fear of accidently talking to/acting normally to a chick who received one. Like, 8 chicks confronted me, but that still leaves 4 that remain unknown....
6. After a rowing practice, some members of the team went to a local breakfast place. They have a deal set up at this place that if you can eat their signature dish, it's free. Just for fun, we all did. It consists of 5 pancakes, 4 sausages, 4 strips of bacon, French toast, and potato wedges. No one made it much farther past half-way through all of it.
After failing and eating too much, we all left. I realized that I left my phone in the place, so i went to go back in and get it. I took my shirt off and went back in. When I came out, all of my friends had left as a joke.
I had to run home, shirtless, in spandex (standard rowing clothes), throwing up for like an hour. Those who saw me though I was stupid and/or drunk.
EDIT #5:
I made it habit at my school that if someone ever whispered in your ear during a class, but someone else noticed, that you stare at them HORRIFIED and yell as loud as possible, "Your WHAT hurts?!!"
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hi
User was warned for this post
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Oh my... only read the first page so far but I'm pretty sure this is another one of those threads.
Goodbye sleep.
And since I wanted to contribute: When I was about 12 years old, I grabbed the ass of a girl in front of me because I wanted to look cool in front of my friends, but she told the teacher and I had a conversation with the teacher and the principle about the whole thing. Wow that was so embarassing.
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Two for me.
The teacher was attempting to say 'circumscribe the circle,' but said 'circumcise the circle.' It was hilarious, because she's such a professional teacher.
The other came at a religious class I take at school. The teacher was talking about a convict that had converted to the church, and was trying to say something like "I was afraid I had awoken the dragon of ex-connism" (He was just joking around, trying to be funny) but accidentally said "ex-condom." With the context of it, where we were, and how no-no of a thing that is to say in that class, it was hilarious. We laughed for the rest of the period, and he apologized many times.
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gym class, game of tag. Puberty has hit for the girls but not yet the guys. I chase down and lunge at a unsuspecting victim. She turns around in surprise in the last second. Right hand meets left boob.
Ooh so, so soft!
She walks away towards the "prison" area like nothing happened. I walk away with relief at not being slapped and a semi-perverted memory.
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I was the only guy in class full of girls and female teacher in high school and we were having some sort of health class where we were discussing pornography. As you can guess as i was the only guy at school that day i was asked if i ever watched any and what my feelings were on the matter. One of the most akward moments of my life.
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We put a porno in the vcr in the classroom during class.  One teacher started panicing another burst laughing and the third one i believe got a turnon. And yes we had 3 theachers since, as you might have figured, our class was a mess.
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This teacher slowly amassed a room full of phallic objects - I mean everything on her desk on the walls etc. was all dick-shaped. Everyone knew it and thought she was pretty weird but one day some girl gets it pointed out to her that everything in the room is a phallus and she gets the bright idea to raise her hand and ask "why all the phalluses?" She was either super innocent or retarded but I think a combination of both.
That teacher got so red in the face and made some guttural noises and transfered the next semester - I feel bad for her because she was so soft-spoken... but damn so many dicks.
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Health Classes are always hilarious but i never can beat TL's responses lol
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In 4th or 5th grade, the bathrooms in our school had these small grates in the middle of the floor, probably about 6 inches in diameter. I'm not sure what they led to exactly, probably ventilation or something, but for some reason the vent came in horizontally, so directly underneath this grate was just flat cement. Anything you put in there just stayed there. One kid from my class managed to pull off the grate, take a shit in the opening, and put the grate back on... I had the pleasure of walking in while he was doing this, he even had one of his friends in the bathroom telling anyone that came in to leave.
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This was a few months ago, I have a friend who is like super touchy about her personal space, hates people getting within like a 5 foot radius of her. I usually poke her and bother her most of the time I see her, but she hates it. One time I was catching up to her after a class we had together, and I reached out to grab her shoulder. Because the hallways are crowded as fuck, she has to stop suddenly. So I had miscalculated my grab and I end up reaching over her shoulder and grabbing her boob. (She's pretty short) Needless to say she flips the fuck out and didn't talk to me for a while lol.
Edit: Spellingz
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Found out the swim team manager's last name was Kahm. Pronounced CAME. I mistook what she was saying about hanging out with some guy on the wrestling team and yelped in surprise making everyone look at me. I started laughing uncontrollably because I thought she said he Came early xD
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EPT
