|
Hey guys.
I have a big dilemma, well its not a well defined dilemma per se, but its rather my complicated life situation and the fact that I almost can't feel love. Let me elaborate:
I moved to this new town in Sweden to study this fall. I broke up with my last girlfriend in March this year and have had some sexual encounters since then.
Anyways, being Im 26, I get some sort of age panic thing going on and become sort of desperate to meet a new girl. So I met this girl through a friend here. I like her style alot and she is cool. I like spending time with her. But like, I dunno how you should feel when your in love, I just dont know. Everyone tells you differently; someone says it's when you get these intense feelings for someone, someone else is more like "its like when you like someone". I dunno.
Anyways, I am also a superficial son of a bitch, and this girl I've met...well I have broken up with her 2 times already...also I told her that she looks much better with her makeup on (kill me). I dunno, she can be very pretty with makeup and yea, but without...not attractive to me.
Also, when I'm with her I sometimes panic when we're like watching a movie just the 2 of us and start to think of all the other girls out there and that maybe Im wasting my time on a girl I don't love enough. Speaking of love, many people say "you will know when you love someone". So I guess I don't love her then, since I am doubting or even discussing this on TL.net.
Please don't laugh at this or at me, cuz its a serious matter, and I know my typing is kind of confused, but it's just because I don't really know what my problem is.
As I said, there are lots of girls I see and meet who I think are very hot, and its like, when I'm with this girl I always think of what I'm missing, and how I could be with the girl of my dreams maybe if I would have looked around more.
I tend to take girls who like me, and not the other way around that much, cuz like Im too much of a wuss to go for the really hot girl whos eyes just blow me away.
Also, when I brake up with the girl I've been seeing this fall, I panic after a few days not talking to her. Then I proceed to do everything to get her back. And when I succeed and convince her I need her and like her, I just go numb again and don't want her.
By the way, I hate hurting people, and this makes me feel really bad...
Sometimes I feel like I don't take others people feelings or relationsships to others as seriously as I should and then I hate myself, thinking I'm some sociopath who just use people and I get really sad.
So basically, this girl loves me and I like her, but I have no feelings per se. There are alot of girls in this town...then again I would miss her if I left her. But the thought of just being with her for years makes me panic. It doesn't feel perfect, ya know? Its not the one...why won't I fall in love?
What should I do?
|
United Kingdom10597 Posts
|
On November 10 2005 03:36 NewYorkHardCore wrote:
What should I do?
A big hint would be to grow some balls and be a man. See, then you would realise you are clinging to false intentions due to your perception of desperation. At the same time you would realise if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. None of this faggy love bullshit, start making a decision about what you want.
|
stop being a shallow pussy
|
You're too desperate. Stop trying so hard and when you aren't looking, the girl will come to you. Trust me, I was just like you a couple months ago.
|
Well normally I would just call you a superfiscial son of a btich but I'll also point out that you're only 26 and if you feel like being that way, you've still got a solid 5 years ahead of you!
|
You'll know it when you're in love with someone, you can't just go search for it. You'll know what love is when you experience it, believe me.
ps You don't love her, hell Im doubting you're even heterosexual after reading that. :D Maybe you'll love her in time (I doubt it, but anything is possible.) but make up your mind already.
|
On November 10 2005 06:17 Frits wrote:
You'll know it when you're in love with someone, you can't just go search for it. You'll know what love is when you experience it, believe me.
ps You don't love her, hell Im doubting you're even heterosexual after reading that. :D Maybe you'll love her in time (I doubt it, but anything is possible.) but make up your mind already.
I was actually thinking the same the thing.
Maybe you just havn't found the right kind of girl though. How does she treat you?
|
you should probably just take it easy. try living without serious relationships for a while to see if you really are better of in one than you are without one. If you are involved with this girl without really liking her, you will just end up hurting both of you, especially her, much more than is neccesary. Of course its not that easy to do this, but from a general point of view this would probably be the best thing for both of you in the long run 
What town btw? 
|
The only way your going to meet a nice girl is to stop looking for one. Be friends first.
|
Braavos36375 Posts
On November 10 2005 06:42 {CC}StealthBlue wrote:
The only way your going to meet a nice girl is to stop looking for one. Be friends first.
this is actually the worst way to get a date
|
yap, you'll get stuck in the friendszone ;D
|
One of these days im going to give this forum to somethingawful
|
Youll never get stuck in the friend zone, you just lurk there for a bit, like Hold position Lurkers.
If you release at the right time, it will be messy.
|
Braavos36375 Posts
wow, that friend zone / hold lurker metaphor was pure MADNEZZ
|
On November 10 2005 07:40 Hot_Bid wrote:
wow, that friend zone / hold lurker metaphor was pure MADNEZZ
Nontheless very true.
|
haha, hot_bid
dont be a creep, madnezz.
|
First, stop being shallow. Second, break up with this girl. Third, go out and date people if you're feeling that "oh-shit-I'm-getting-older-without-love" panic. Eventually you'll meet someone and you will know when you're in love/love them.
I used to be pretty shallow as well, but then I met a girl who at first I thought was just "okay-looking," but then I fell in love with everything else about her and wow, I think she's the hottest thing on the planet now. It made me realize that love has nothing to do with how good-looking people are. Not real love, at least.
|
Uhhh that's some early midlife crisis.
|
On November 10 2005 07:48 ZaplinG wrote:
haha, hot_bid
dont be a creep, madnezz.
To be more serious, i think its easier to find someone you care about and more likely have a longer and better relationship if you either know the person very well before you get more involved, or if you meet her because of some friends.
That takes away a part of the nervous first chat to see if she got something you like, like humour and so on., And as someone said earlier in this thread, if shes your friends friend, she probably is a Ok girl.
|
I did almost the same thing all summer. but even worse. I were hoping for a one night stand and all of a sudden had a girlfriend. If you dont have feelings for her and alot in common it wont work. Just raise your standards and wait til someone you like shows up. Unfortunatly they dont show up at your door that often.
And if they do, look out for ninjas. 
|
If you always try to get back with a girl after you break up, you'll never know if you want to get up because you really want to be with her, or because you are just feeling lonely and want the affection/attention which you were recieving while you were in the relationship. If you really do break up, you should wait for a week, or even two weeks, or better yet, a month, and see how you feel. Chances are you were just clinging, and after a few weeks you will realize that's the case, and that you really aren't attracted to this girl.
As for meeting someone -- First, be more confident in yourself. If you really want to meet someone, then just meet her. What do you have to lose? seriously. You might be clinging onto a superficial kind of 'affection' where you admire her from afar but rarely talk to her. Is that really what you want? If she blows you off, then at least you know where you stand.
Also, sure, looks are important, but make sure you aren't discovering things about her personality and habits which turn you off, and then make up excuses like 'well, she'll change', 'well, I can live with those things'.. Of course people will always have things that arent attractive to you, but if you find yourself thinking that a lot, then you might want to stop and think about your relationship.
Also people are telling you to be more confident.. Really understand the meaning of this. First, girls want a feeling of security and protection from their 'man'. I dont know how much of this is just based on cultural values, but regardless this seems to be the case. If you are totally dependant on a girl, always wanting to hang around her (as a friend, that is), needing her around you to make you happy, etc. You are sending a bad message.. I feel stupid for saying all these things in a forum, but essentially being more confident in yourself will improve your self image (ie. the feeling of desperation from getting older and still being single) and how other people see you (not necessarily just your 'target' girl).
.... yeah...
|
First off - you don't love her. More importantly, you need not worry about your age. Some people are 50 without ever having dating. Don't settle for something because it's convenient. Be patient (easier said than done, I know, but it will eventually pay off) and stop trying so hard. It is completely unnecessary. StealthBlue has the right idea - the only way to truly guarantee a solid relationship (IMO) is to become best friends, so when the sex isn't always there - you have a great time. Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry.
|
Braavos36375 Posts
On November 10 2005 09:04 John Doe wrote:
First off - you don't love her. More importantly, you need not worry about your age. Some people are 50 without ever having dating. Don't settle for something because it's convenient. Be patient (easier said than done, I know, but it will eventually pay off) and stop trying so hard. It is completely unnecessary. StealthBlue has the right idea - the only way to truly guarantee a solid relationship (IMO) is to become best friends, so when the sex isn't always there - you have a great time. Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry.
ok do the exact opposite of what this guy says. if it's convenient, date. even if you don't like her that much, date. it's not a big fucking deal and it shouldn't be so important. you get experience going out, talking to girls, being single, etc. that "50 without ever having dated.. don't settle" is just an excuse ugly virgins say to justify why they suck so much with girls.
DO NOT attempt to be just friends with her, because she will see you as a brother and platonic friend and never fuck you, ever. if some guy posts after me and says "no it's happened to me! i was friends with girl x and we eventually dated" either a) she was with someone when you guys became friends or b) you were too much of a wuss to act on it so you guys just waited.
and the whole "Lastly - if you're honestly looking for advice on women @ TL.net (a BW gaming site) then you might be beyond rescue. I'm sorry." part, i have a strong suspicion John Doe is the one needing advice haha
|
You get into relationships too fast. Date around longer so you don't get stuck with a girl you don't really like. Instead you'd be going out with a bunch of girls you like. Isn't that a better deal?
|
you said you dont know if you are in love with her. You will know, trust me, if you are in love.
|
Wow, I definately don't regret posting this on these boards. These matters are kind of sensitive, but then again alot of guys have similar issues or just good advice, and boy have you given good advice! Just for the record, I can talk to girls, and girls tell me I look good. No bragging, just saying.
Yea I know, I guess its about being more of a man and not being so fucking clinging, like a mamas boy. That is definately an issue of mine I just realized. I have a strong attachment to stuff in the past sometimes, and it comes back to haunt me.
Also this thing about me being desperate is probably very true now that I think of it. Basically I'm desperation personified at the moment. I dunno why, but I sometimes get these ideas that I have to be perfect and that everyone has to like me. This hasn't anything to do with the topic though, so I won't plunge deeper into it.
Anyways, it's like you need to get laid sometimes just to see that you still got it.
But I dunno, many of you guys say that you shouldn't look for love so desperately but I just feel bad about it. Sure I have had feelings for girls, but not real love I think. "You'll know when you fall in love" seems to be accurate. Thought so also.
Starparty: Yea I know, I have done that in the past, but its just like I'm 26 now and I feel old, lol. Im like at the wrong side of 25, ya know? Leaning more towards 30...and I get anxious about not having a girlfriend whom I love.
I live in Kalmar now, used to live in Lund =) Studying to "Socionom". Kind of like social work but much more academic.
Ok Frits, I will simply take your word for it.
She treats me great, although likes to argue alot about things. She likes to be treated as a princess, which of course she should be by someone who loves her. Im trying, Im a really nice guy mostly, except when I say stupid shit like that with the makeup.
StealthBlue, I can't agree either. Being girls with a friend CAN result in a relationship but usually the attraction vanishes if you become too good friends, unfortunately, because this would be golden otherwise.
BTW, what excatly do you guys mean with "Stop being shallow"? Is it that I should stop just looking for girls looks? Or is it that I should care less about other peoples opinions?
I know, Im too shallow, its just I dunno, I care alot about what other ppl think about me. ALOT.
Rayzorblade: Sounds like very good advice actually. I felt some hope after reading what you wrote, lol Sounds like the perfect love.
Yea she is an ok girl, but its just that I could never be in a relationship where things about the girl would annoy me and if I didn't love her. Love is necessary unless you marry for money. Love is everything. Alot of things about her annoy me. Small stuff, but nevertheless.
lol Eatme, if I ever come to Switzerland I will look out for ninjas. Never seen one in these arctic regions.
Chanoipy, exactly. You really nailed it there with not knowing whether I love her or I'm feeling lonely. I think its just loneliness though. I think I will do just that, break up and just see how I feel about it after a month.
No, your right. Thats not what I want, what if she has like something about her that annoys the hell out of me. Then good looks wont help her. I am like decently confident in myself about some things, but I always feel like inferior to others, including girls.
Yea, what your saying about habits and things about personality etc, its just very right. Theres lots of that going on with this girl that annoys me. It sucks.
Again I agree about girls wanting to feel secure and safe. That is a fact. Sure many people will say not everyone do etc, and sure maybe not everyone does. BUT many girls want this. I know myself as well since I've asked some girls.
Actually those last words of yours really made me think...
John Doe: Your right, I don't. I also tend to think that its easier to find a girl and love when your more relaxed than when you are desperate, and its probably true. Its just that I panic from time to time and go nuts. The reason I wrote this here, is cuz I wanted advice from other guys on these matters. You make it sound like everyone here are nerds? lol
Hot_bid, yea dating never harms anyone. Its a good way to meet new women indeed. I have dated alot this fall. I also strongly agree about the friendship thing. Its just the wrong way to go mostly.
Lol, I was like, sure there are normal people on here too. Not just gamers who play 24/7 and never talk to women except their mom, and I was right.
mnm: Damn right it is, haven't thought about it like that...
Future: Okey
Basically I will know when its love right?
|
Don't look for love. Just let it happen.
|
This 'dont look for love, just let it happen' seems so cryptic and vague.. but actually it is true. If you try really hard to look for love, you might actually be accidentally pushing it away. The reason (imo) that love 'just happens' is because when you are actively looking for a relationship, you will indavertently force a relationship that might not work out, just because you desire one (key example, getting back with a girlfriend right after breaking up).. But if you are not looking for one and it develops naturally, then it actually is a true form of love (or the beginning of one).
|
ty for clarifying that Chanoipy
|
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH
|
is awesome32274 Posts
On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH
AHHAHAhaAHAHAHAHAHH
|
love is the new religion.
like a lot of you laugh about religions now,
so will others in a couple of years about love.
if you enjoy being with her, just enjoy it. dont think about the future. people change, circumstances change, its not in your hands. enjoy the moment. blablabla.
edit some more sense to my post ^_^
|
On November 10 2005 11:57 IntoTheWow wrote:Show nested quote +On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH AHHAHAhaAHAHAHAHAHH
you know i'm right
i invest that much time and effort and money i want a finished product
not some selfish bitch with gradeschool fuck skills
how someone fucks tells you basically everything u need to know about them
|
NewYorkHardCore - Sorry for the miscommunication, I didn't directly mean that you are a nerd or that anyone else is for that matter, it's just you shouldn't be taking advice too seriously from people here @ TL.net because 99% of them are well under your age and have never touched a boob. Don't kid yourselves guys. As for Hot_Bid - I won't even bother with your shallow comments because you have no idea what a real relationship is, and even if you did, you would realize that a true relationship has both friendship AND love. End of story. Say I need advice, sure - if that helps you sleep at night, but I was trying to offer my opinion to a confused man, not directly offend anyone. And lastly - back to NewYorkHardCore, I wanted to say relax man, there are bigger issues than stressing over women. Enjoy life now and it will all fall into place. It should feel natural (loving another person) rather than having to debate in your mind what you do and do not feel. Hope this helps.
|
Braavos36375 Posts
On November 10 2005 12:24 John Doe wrote:
As for Hot_Bid - I won't even bother with your shallow comments because you have no idea what a real relationship is, and even if you did, you would realize that a true relationship has both friendship AND love. End of story.
you're right, instead of dating around and hooking with lots of girls my age, i should look to get married by the long and arduous process of friends-first, which entails plenty of frustrated, sexless nights. surely i can't date and have fun now THEN look for a wife later. that would be just stupid.
|
once again. no ninjas. :[
|
On November 10 2005 08:25 Chanoipy wrote:
As for meeting someone -- First, be more confident in yourself. If you really want to meet someone, then just meet her. What do you have to lose? seriously. You might be clinging onto a superficial kind of 'affection' where you admire her from afar but rarely talk to her. Is that really what you want? If she blows you off, then at least you know where you stand.
Ah... I entirely feel that statement of Canoipy's is for me.
Thx for preaching.
Dude NewYorkHardcore, You sounded like freakin' ROMEO! How come you can't get girls if you sounded like Romeo~ I don't get it :p
O and advice to you:
Don't rush it too fast, make it nice and smooth.
P.S.
Good thread, very amusing to the very least. ROfl at casper.
|
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol
gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best.
|
i see 2 options for u~
1. if u plan to think with ur cock -> go fuck horny whores and let it out
2. if u plan to look for "love" (some thingy beyond physical) -> dont point ur dick at ppl that are more interested in (long term/any) relationships who want to find that special someone
- if all you think about when u're with a girl is how hot other girls are or how you want a threesome as meat in a alba/lohan sandwich -> go to option 1
- if you start thinking about what you can do to be considerate (gift/make something) = take time to invest in her -> go to option 2
in all seriousness, i dont believe people that fuck around a lot can justify this so called "love" thing (i guess definitions changes over time -> the most recent one being = sex sex sex until around 30 -> find someone make family = love).... so good luck
|
Some good and bad advice here.
I used to be like you, NYHC. I was a "serial-monogomist", jumping from one serious relationship to another. There was a 6 year period of time where I had only been single for at most, 2 weeks at a time. The girl I was seeing at the end of this period, I had broken up with her and then gone back out with her many times, much like how you described. Eventually, I realized that I had become very co-dependent, and it made me pissed because I view that as a major weakness (committed relationships should be a side-effect of finding the right one, not a cause to be pursued in-itself). I broke it off and decided to remain single, because I had obviously lost the path I meant to be on. I'd say it took about a year or so before I adjusted to being single and not pursuing serious relationships, allowing me to focus on self-improvement rather than functioning as someone else's better-half. I'm much happier with myself now, and less worried that I'm wasting time (I'm 23).
You won't know love until you know yourself a little better, that's my advice
|
On November 11 2005 01:27 88)WhyYouKickMyDog wrote:
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol
gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best.
and you're a sheltered suburban rice eater
suck my dick
|
Everyone's definition of love is different. I wouldn't bother "looking for love". Just enjoy yourself and when the time comes to settle down, you will. It helps to date a lot when you're younger since that way, you know what types you're compatible with and have a clearer idea of what you want in the long run.
|
I'm from SVeeeeeden. Isn't that Vierd?
|
i think you're atached to the girl and u love her
but it's kinnda normal for a man (i realy can't explain) to like the chase more.. and even u love her
u still get bored and want a new challange.. and once she's gone.. it re-becomes a challange
well.. i can't give u any advice other than.. keep the girl.. fuck other girls.. and .. so on
|
On November 11 2005 02:40 Pika Chu wrote:i think you're atached to the girl and u love her but it's kinnda normal for a man (i realy can't explain) to like the chase more.. and even u love her u still get bored and want a new challange.. and once she's gone.. it re-becomes a challange well.. i can't give u any advice other than.. keep the girl.. fuck other girls.. and .. so on
i think u're confusing love with passion..
then again, there's always that thing about different definitions so i guess i cant really back up what i say
|
sex can wait. just masturbate.
|
|
|
You can't really love someone until you really know her, and that only comes with a lot of time.
Do not confuse the "head-buzzing-and-heart-pounding everytime you see a girl that you barely know" feeling with love, because that is true weakness, combined with the natural need to have sex.
I also agree with HeadBangaa, noone can really be part of a healthy relationship if he is not complete by himself.
When two miserable people come close it rarely has a nice ending.Thats because the real problem for these people is not loneliness, but misery,aka low self esteem,no life, weak personality etc
Grabbing onto someone else is really not helping and this concerns the relationships between friends,as well.
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
win er dine er sixty nine er
|
On November 10 2005 11:38 Chanoipy wrote:
This 'dont look for love, just let it happen' seems so cryptic and vague.. but actually it is true. If you try really hard to look for love, you might actually be accidentally pushing it away. The reason (imo) that love 'just happens' is because when you are actively looking for a relationship, you will indavertently force a relationship that might not work out, just because you desire one (key example, getting back with a girlfriend right after breaking up).. But if you are not looking for one and it develops naturally, then it actually is a true form of love (or the beginning of one).
This is also true on the other side of the spectrum... don't date a girl that just got out of a relationship, because if she says yes, chances are, it's just because she wants someone there. I've been in that situation too, and it doesn't come out with very good results. She'll either start liking someone else, or like her ex-boyfriend more and try to get him back, either way, you lose.
|
What's up everyone! You guys give really good advice! Appreciate it alot.
UPDATE:
I was at the girls house last night and arrived there at 8. She had been shopping earlier that afternoon and as very happy with the stuff she had bought. So I arrive at her apartment and she drinks Jagermeister and looks so happy. She shows me these really nice boots she bought (the ones that go outside the pants and look hot as hell). She also bought a shirt and some other stuff. So basically I think along the lines of "ok, I don't wanna hurt her now. Lets drink a bit and maybe the breaking up happens naturally out of an drunken argument". Also I wanted to see if I would suddenly love her.
Yea I know, not very nice.
Anyways, we drink and listen to music at her computer and sing and just have a good time. She is very loving and all over me all the night kissing me and doing... stuff. Anyways, I'm sitting there really dissapointed with myself for not telling her that we should brake up. So she takes off some clothes and has these sexy tight panties on and a bra. I remove my shirt and we fool around. (The good thing about this girl is that we can fool around without being embarrassed). We dance and have a good time and make out etc. Then I remember I have a class early the next morning and go home. When I get to my place I write her a message from my cellphone saying its over and that I don't love her. She gets very angry of course and calls me a psychopath and tells me to get help and that I'm sick and twisted and use people.
To bring this into perspective I have broken up 3 times with her already and I begged for like a week for her to get back with me again this last time. I thought I had feelings of love and told her so. I said that this time it would work. She was of course very reluctant because I had already dumped her 3 times. But she said she loved me. Last time I dumped her I also said something like "Don't you wanna look as good as you can?" and talked about the fact that she doesn't always use makeup. Damn Im such a pig  I also felt she had a really bad breath sometime and just mentioned it while we were kissing and she freaked on me.
So after all these brakeups we got together for the 4th time, and I basically convinced her that I was in love with her, because I thought I was or wanted desperately to be since I like her alot.
Now you know the deal, and what the situation is like.
I feel like shit, and start to believe the stuff she says to me; that Im disturbed and a psychopath and it makes me feel really bad. I also have such a bad conscience for hurting her like this. Everything sucks now.
Chanoipy: Yea, I guess your right. I think like that as well. Things probably work out much better if you don't force things, especially love and that sort of stuff.
John Doe: No I didn't think you meant it like that either. I just joked around a little bit  Thanks for the advice though, was great. I will try to relax more and not force stuff.
How old are you btw?
HappyManRun: Lol, I can get girls. Thats not the issue; thing is I want to fall in love, and when I'm with girls now I just feel like I'm using them and I feel so shallow. Also I think Im settling for anyone who likes me regardless of how much I like them or something.
Yea, lotsa people mention the "nice and smooth" strategy. I will work on that from now on =)
88)WhyYouKickMyDog: Yea, sometimes its for the best to end something that isn't working. It's just that it's so hard, because you know the other person is gonna get hurt. I get your drift though.
PockyPocky: lol, thanks man. I will withdraw my dick from anyones general direction from now on.
HeadBangaa: I totally relate to what your saying about being co-dependent. It can happen so easily, and it can be confused with affection or feelings of loneliness. I have fallen into that trap now, and I just broke up for the last time (hopefully) last night. Gotta move forward. And that last thing you said strike a chord in me. I should probably work more on myself before going into a serious relationship. Thanks man.
meth_0d: Yea, seems like lot of people say not to rush love. Im kinda getting the point! =)
Pika Chu: I don't love her. If I loved her I would know, right? i just like her alot as a person. We are very similar.
lebowskiguy: Hm, I always thought those were the physical characteristics of feeling love? True about 2 miserable people. We both have some issues, and have grabbed onto each other.
|
United Kingdom10597 Posts
|
United Kingdom10597 Posts
|
iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
edit name of thread: I have Issues
gogo
|
Imo opinion you only have one or two "true loves" in your entire lifetime. Also, the more girls you have, the less chance you will have to find someone special. This because no person is flawless, and you also lose your innocense in the regard of love. Love is much about ideals imo, and those are the creeds of the young. Let's face it - as we get older we get more cynical. For me, I think I've blown the chances since I'm no longer together with that girl. Of course it was a love/hate relationship, bordering on madness, but I can say when hearing all my friends talk about girls and seeing how most couples behave together that not many people get to experience what we had. It nearly drove me crazy sometimes, but I still wouldn't want to have been without it I think.
For me, I could personally never fall in love with a "slut" or a cynical person. I'm an optimist and something of a daydreamer myself, so I tend to get the short end of the deal, but since I actually managed to meet a special someone, I still accomplished more than most will ever do. Of course I could still meet someone that rocks my world, but I don't chase after it. I don't want to settle for someone I only like, or just someone to have regular intercourse with. That just grosses me out.
Oh, and true love for me means that you both desire the other person physically as well as being something of a confidant and best friend, someone to share your thoughts, hopes, dreams, anxieties, fears with etc.
|
On November 11 2005 05:54 Luhh wrote:
Imo opinion you only have one or two "true loves" in your entire lifetime. Also, the more girls you have, the less chance you will have to find someone special. This because no person is flawless, and you also lose your innocense in the regard of love. Love is much about ideals imo, and those are the creeds of the young. Let's face it - as we get older we get more cynical. For me, I think I've blown the chances since I'm no longer together with that girl. Of course it was a love/hate relationship, bordering on madness, but I can say when hearing all my friends talk about girls and seeing how most couples behave together that not many people get to experience what we had. It nearly drove me crazy sometimes, but I still wouldn't want to have been without it I think.
For me, I could personally never fall in love with a "slut" or a cynical person. I'm an optimist and something of a daydreamer myself, so I tend to get the short end of the deal, but since I actually managed to meet a special someone, I still accomplished more than most will ever do. Of course I could still meet someone that rocks my world, but I don't chase after it. I don't want to settle for someone I only like, or just someone to have regular intercourse with. That just grosses me out.
Oh, and true love for me means that you both desire the other person physically as well as being something of a confidant and best friend, someone to share your thoughts, hopes, dreams, anxieties, fears with etc.
one question for u, if true love is an ideal to u how can there be one to *two*?
hehe
but ya.... the whole thread is just treading on numerous definitions of what love is...
To each his own i guess >_>... just don't go ruining ppl's life in the process (mental dmg, possibly physical ~ har har) i guess is probably the best general way to look at it
wow i said dmg , i feel gosu now, feed me zerglings
|
On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH
it was about time somebody would say it..
|
On November 11 2005 01:53 Casper... wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2005 01:27 88)WhyYouKickMyDog wrote:
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol
gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best. and you're a sheltered suburban rice eater suck my dick
eh, i guess not everyone prides themselves on NOT being a douchebag
|
Braavos36375 Posts
dude stfu, the other day he blew off 350 playing limit he for fun and bought 200 worth of cds
|
rofl @ text msg breakup =x ok thats like just awkward to me but whatever floats ur boat =)
gj breaking it off. sounded like u wanted to.. better than holding it off forever because of fear of breakup or w/e.
sound like u really gotta figure out what u want b4 u act upon things or else ur indecision will make u go psycho. prematurely stating ur love causes much confusion.. thats partly why i dont like the word much anymore..
|
Yea mmn I know, its a pretty cowardly way of breaking up indeed. Ya, at least I did it, but I feel like shit.
Your right...I will from now on think before I do stuff. Good idea actually.
|
just make sure you dont text message a girl to tell you that you like her, or tell her on the phone.. or worse, online.. -_-; If you dont have the confidence to tell her in person, then she's going to pick up on that, and that just sends the message that you have low self esteem.. its the pansy's way of asking someone out.
I'd even say breaking up in any way other than face to face is bad, since its rude and insensitive.. But since you've done it already, don't sweat it. It's done, its over. Congrats on taking the next step to a better life
( btw, this is Chanoipy, just.. tossing the old username haha..)
|
Most of the guys are like this, when you are in a relationship, you always think that you can find someone better.
If you can see youself spending the rest of your life with this woman or willing to give up everything for her, then you probably love her, otherwise, you probably don't.
|
jchanhm yea your right man. Its very gay not to tell it to a girls face :/
Lol, yea I hope it gets better anyway, cuz right now I feel like a evil person.
I have tried getting her back 4 times now and broken up afterwards. Wtf is wrong with me ...feels in a way that I do it just to see if I can or something. Very retarded anyways .
Cambium, is it normal to beg and convince your ex that you have feelings for her and then when youget bakc together feel nothing and brake up, 4 times? ;(
I probably don't love her then.
|
Braavos36375 Posts
well you're just insecure about being single. you have to realize when you break up with her that she could go out tomorrow and fuck some other guy. you have to be able to deal with this. i think you should just try and move past this and date someone else. don't put so much pressure on it either, the relationship can be fun without it being love.
|
well you shouldn't be thinking along the lines of 'is there someone better'... it should be more like 'am i happy right now' if so, keep it up, otherwise, move on or do something about it.. focus on your present and your state of being..
honestly, there is always a possibility that there is someone better.. but if things are working out, why ruin a good thing?
we can never be fully satisfied.. its like thinking it sucks that you're bad at starcraft compared to the group you hang out with.. even when u reach the highest level of that group then ur gonna think it sucks that you're bad at starcraft compared to the pros.. n when u reach pro level ull think ur bad at starcraft compared to the koreans.. etc.. but this shouldn't be something you focus on too much.. i mean its good for improvement but u cant beat urself up over it.. just be happy with urself and ur current state and keep working on urself.. kinda like sticking to someone who makes u happy and working things out with that person.. whoa where the hell am i going with this i think im starting to babble..
|
ya Hot_bid your right I know. I should MOVE on. Damnit...
lol mnm your babbling but you make good points as well i will try and work on myself and don't force any relationships, but rather go with the flow and see what happens.
|
that is best approach in my experience.. going with the flow..
<off topic>i love new york btw. <3 NY in 44 days! w00t!~ </off topic>
|
|
|
|
|
|
EPT
