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Some good and bad advice here.
I used to be like you, NYHC. I was a "serial-monogomist", jumping from one serious relationship to another. There was a 6 year period of time where I had only been single for at most, 2 weeks at a time. The girl I was seeing at the end of this period, I had broken up with her and then gone back out with her many times, much like how you described. Eventually, I realized that I had become very co-dependent, and it made me pissed because I view that as a major weakness (committed relationships should be a side-effect of finding the right one, not a cause to be pursued in-itself). I broke it off and decided to remain single, because I had obviously lost the path I meant to be on. I'd say it took about a year or so before I adjusted to being single and not pursuing serious relationships, allowing me to focus on self-improvement rather than functioning as someone else's better-half. I'm much happier with myself now, and less worried that I'm wasting time (I'm 23).
You won't know love until you know yourself a little better, that's my advice
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On November 11 2005 01:27 88)WhyYouKickMyDog wrote:
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol
gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best.
and you're a sheltered suburban rice eater
suck my dick
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Everyone's definition of love is different. I wouldn't bother "looking for love". Just enjoy yourself and when the time comes to settle down, you will. It helps to date a lot when you're younger since that way, you know what types you're compatible with and have a clearer idea of what you want in the long run.
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I'm from SVeeeeeden. Isn't that Vierd?
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i think you're atached to the girl and u love her
but it's kinnda normal for a man (i realy can't explain) to like the chase more.. and even u love her
u still get bored and want a new challange.. and once she's gone.. it re-becomes a challange 
well.. i can't give u any advice other than.. keep the girl.. fuck other girls.. and .. so on
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On November 11 2005 02:40 Pika Chu wrote:i think you're atached to the girl and u love her but it's kinnda normal for a man (i realy can't explain) to like the chase more.. and even u love her u still get bored and want a new challange.. and once she's gone.. it re-becomes a challange well.. i can't give u any advice other than.. keep the girl.. fuck other girls.. and .. so on
i think u're confusing love with passion..
then again, there's always that thing about different definitions so i guess i cant really back up what i say
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sex can wait. just masturbate.
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You can't really love someone until you really know her, and that only comes with a lot of time.
Do not confuse the "head-buzzing-and-heart-pounding everytime you see a girl that you barely know" feeling with love, because that is true weakness, combined with the natural need to have sex.
I also agree with HeadBangaa, noone can really be part of a healthy relationship if he is not complete by himself.
When two miserable people come close it rarely has a nice ending.Thats because the real problem for these people is not loneliness, but misery,aka low self esteem,no life, weak personality etc
Grabbing onto someone else is really not helping and this concerns the relationships between friends,as well.
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
win er dine er sixty nine er
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On November 10 2005 11:38 Chanoipy wrote:
This 'dont look for love, just let it happen' seems so cryptic and vague.. but actually it is true. If you try really hard to look for love, you might actually be accidentally pushing it away. The reason (imo) that love 'just happens' is because when you are actively looking for a relationship, you will indavertently force a relationship that might not work out, just because you desire one (key example, getting back with a girlfriend right after breaking up).. But if you are not looking for one and it develops naturally, then it actually is a true form of love (or the beginning of one).
This is also true on the other side of the spectrum... don't date a girl that just got out of a relationship, because if she says yes, chances are, it's just because she wants someone there. I've been in that situation too, and it doesn't come out with very good results. She'll either start liking someone else, or like her ex-boyfriend more and try to get him back, either way, you lose.
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What's up everyone! You guys give really good advice! Appreciate it alot.
UPDATE:
I was at the girls house last night and arrived there at 8. She had been shopping earlier that afternoon and as very happy with the stuff she had bought. So I arrive at her apartment and she drinks Jagermeister and looks so happy. She shows me these really nice boots she bought (the ones that go outside the pants and look hot as hell). She also bought a shirt and some other stuff. So basically I think along the lines of "ok, I don't wanna hurt her now. Lets drink a bit and maybe the breaking up happens naturally out of an drunken argument". Also I wanted to see if I would suddenly love her.
Yea I know, not very nice.
Anyways, we drink and listen to music at her computer and sing and just have a good time. She is very loving and all over me all the night kissing me and doing... stuff. Anyways, I'm sitting there really dissapointed with myself for not telling her that we should brake up. So she takes off some clothes and has these sexy tight panties on and a bra. I remove my shirt and we fool around. (The good thing about this girl is that we can fool around without being embarrassed). We dance and have a good time and make out etc. Then I remember I have a class early the next morning and go home. When I get to my place I write her a message from my cellphone saying its over and that I don't love her. She gets very angry of course and calls me a psychopath and tells me to get help and that I'm sick and twisted and use people.
To bring this into perspective I have broken up 3 times with her already and I begged for like a week for her to get back with me again this last time. I thought I had feelings of love and told her so. I said that this time it would work. She was of course very reluctant because I had already dumped her 3 times. But she said she loved me. Last time I dumped her I also said something like "Don't you wanna look as good as you can?" and talked about the fact that she doesn't always use makeup. Damn Im such a pig  I also felt she had a really bad breath sometime and just mentioned it while we were kissing and she freaked on me.
So after all these brakeups we got together for the 4th time, and I basically convinced her that I was in love with her, because I thought I was or wanted desperately to be since I like her alot.
Now you know the deal, and what the situation is like.
I feel like shit, and start to believe the stuff she says to me; that Im disturbed and a psychopath and it makes me feel really bad. I also have such a bad conscience for hurting her like this. Everything sucks now.
Chanoipy: Yea, I guess your right. I think like that as well. Things probably work out much better if you don't force things, especially love and that sort of stuff.
John Doe: No I didn't think you meant it like that either. I just joked around a little bit  Thanks for the advice though, was great. I will try to relax more and not force stuff.
How old are you btw?
HappyManRun: Lol, I can get girls. Thats not the issue; thing is I want to fall in love, and when I'm with girls now I just feel like I'm using them and I feel so shallow. Also I think Im settling for anyone who likes me regardless of how much I like them or something.
Yea, lotsa people mention the "nice and smooth" strategy. I will work on that from now on =)
88)WhyYouKickMyDog: Yea, sometimes its for the best to end something that isn't working. It's just that it's so hard, because you know the other person is gonna get hurt. I get your drift though.
PockyPocky: lol, thanks man. I will withdraw my dick from anyones general direction from now on.
HeadBangaa: I totally relate to what your saying about being co-dependent. It can happen so easily, and it can be confused with affection or feelings of loneliness. I have fallen into that trap now, and I just broke up for the last time (hopefully) last night. Gotta move forward. And that last thing you said strike a chord in me. I should probably work more on myself before going into a serious relationship. Thanks man.
meth_0d: Yea, seems like lot of people say not to rush love. Im kinda getting the point! =)
Pika Chu: I don't love her. If I loved her I would know, right? i just like her alot as a person. We are very similar.
lebowskiguy: Hm, I always thought those were the physical characteristics of feeling love? True about 2 miserable people. We both have some issues, and have grabbed onto each other.
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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United Kingdom10597 Posts
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iNcontroL
USA29055 Posts
edit name of thread: I have Issues
gogo
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Imo opinion you only have one or two "true loves" in your entire lifetime. Also, the more girls you have, the less chance you will have to find someone special. This because no person is flawless, and you also lose your innocense in the regard of love. Love is much about ideals imo, and those are the creeds of the young. Let's face it - as we get older we get more cynical. For me, I think I've blown the chances since I'm no longer together with that girl. Of course it was a love/hate relationship, bordering on madness, but I can say when hearing all my friends talk about girls and seeing how most couples behave together that not many people get to experience what we had. It nearly drove me crazy sometimes, but I still wouldn't want to have been without it I think.
For me, I could personally never fall in love with a "slut" or a cynical person. I'm an optimist and something of a daydreamer myself, so I tend to get the short end of the deal, but since I actually managed to meet a special someone, I still accomplished more than most will ever do. Of course I could still meet someone that rocks my world, but I don't chase after it. I don't want to settle for someone I only like, or just someone to have regular intercourse with. That just grosses me out.
Oh, and true love for me means that you both desire the other person physically as well as being something of a confidant and best friend, someone to share your thoughts, hopes, dreams, anxieties, fears with etc.
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On November 11 2005 05:54 Luhh wrote:
Imo opinion you only have one or two "true loves" in your entire lifetime. Also, the more girls you have, the less chance you will have to find someone special. This because no person is flawless, and you also lose your innocense in the regard of love. Love is much about ideals imo, and those are the creeds of the young. Let's face it - as we get older we get more cynical. For me, I think I've blown the chances since I'm no longer together with that girl. Of course it was a love/hate relationship, bordering on madness, but I can say when hearing all my friends talk about girls and seeing how most couples behave together that not many people get to experience what we had. It nearly drove me crazy sometimes, but I still wouldn't want to have been without it I think.
For me, I could personally never fall in love with a "slut" or a cynical person. I'm an optimist and something of a daydreamer myself, so I tend to get the short end of the deal, but since I actually managed to meet a special someone, I still accomplished more than most will ever do. Of course I could still meet someone that rocks my world, but I don't chase after it. I don't want to settle for someone I only like, or just someone to have regular intercourse with. That just grosses me out.
Oh, and true love for me means that you both desire the other person physically as well as being something of a confidant and best friend, someone to share your thoughts, hopes, dreams, anxieties, fears with etc.
one question for u, if true love is an ideal to u how can there be one to *two*?
hehe
but ya.... the whole thread is just treading on numerous definitions of what love is...
To each his own i guess >_>... just don't go ruining ppl's life in the process (mental dmg, possibly physical ~ har har) i guess is probably the best general way to look at it
wow i said dmg , i feel gosu now, feed me zerglings
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On November 10 2005 11:55 Casper... wrote:
thing with hot girls is that they tend to be lazy fucks
meaning they don't squat up proper and milk the cock, but instead just sort of sit there and move a bit
SQUAT UP AND MILK THE COCK BEYOTCH
it was about time somebody would say it..
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On November 11 2005 01:53 Casper... wrote:Show nested quote +On November 11 2005 01:27 88)WhyYouKickMyDog wrote:
casper, i dont like you, but that is still hilarious lololol
gl man, just go with the flow and you'll be fine. If you get lonely, its not too tough to find a girl. If you want something more out of the relationship, then do what you gotta do (get rid of the dead-end relationship). Since you hate having to hurt people when you just date and get bored, i've found its just a problem you gotta deal with and work through. They won't hate you for pursuing what you want, theyll just be a little pissed at first, but they know its for the best. and you're a sheltered suburban rice eater suck my dick
eh, i guess not everyone prides themselves on NOT being a douchebag
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Braavos36402 Posts
dude stfu, the other day he blew off 350 playing limit he for fun and bought 200 worth of cds
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EPT
