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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.

Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.

Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating.
Shiragaku
Profile Blog Joined April 2010
Hong Kong4308 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 15:59:52
October 09 2011 15:57 GMT
#161
Awww...this thread is too depressing. :p

When God kicked Adam and Eve out of Eden, God punished women by giving them childbirth and punished men by giving them women. Find the loophole.
lunchrush
Profile Joined March 2011
United States138 Posts
October 09 2011 15:58 GMT
#162
I've dated a few women, most of the 'bad dates' I can think of were just REALLY awkward, and most of the 'bad relationship' stuff is just really depressing, so I won't share. I can offer some advice to all lonely never-had-gf people on here tho: improve your own condition (I focus on physical training, basic advice can be found here: http://www.liamrosen.com/fitness.html), and just keep trying and eventually your brain will figure out what works and what doesn't. Also know that different things work for every girl, but there are trends. Be wary though; a given woman is often nothing like what she seems at first impression. I don't want to say that all women are liars, but expect nothing less... same goes for women on here looking for men, I suppose.

Right now, due to the fact that none of my relationships seem to be able to last more than about 6 months, I'm well on my way to resigning from the dating game altogether. It's too much trouble, and only seems to breed frustration and pain. All I've ever wanted was a girl I could nerd out/make out/work out with, but I just found her and though I feel very strongly about her, and we agree that we'll never find people we have more in common with than we do with each other, she's not interested in me in that way. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. We were in a short relationship that just ended, which I recently learned was mostly her pretending to be okay with being in a relationship, since she hadn't in a while and she wanted to know if she still could. I really cared about her and showed her all the awesome things that being in a relationship holds, but in the end I doubt she even enjoyed it all that much. There were times when I thought she was 'the one', and now that I know she's not... I'll just resign myself to the single life for a while. I just hope my hand never leaves me T_T

Wow, I ended up ranting anyway =P I guess in summary, keep fighting the good fight lads, perhaps one day you'll find someone really amazing, and your relationship will serve as an inspiration for others to keep fighting. And if all else fails, at least know how to make yourself happy, because in the end that's all you can count on.
There is no order in the world around us, we must adapt ourselves to the requirements of chaos instead. -Kurt Vonnegut
kef
Profile Joined September 2010
283 Posts
October 09 2011 16:12 GMT
#163
On October 10 2011 00:52 MasterMonkey wrote:
Ever been on a date with a Chinese girl? In China?!

+ Show Spoiler +
I took a girl out about a month ago here in Shanghai, China. I'm American and she is Chinese which isn't a problem because my Chinese was good enough to speak with her and her English was good enough to fill in the gaps.

Well dinner went great and the food was awesome! (Did I mention I live in China?) I paid the bill and we went for a walk together. We walked and walked and walked and it was a great time all the while she was laughing at my ridiculous jokes and things were going smoothly.

We're on our way back to her place so I can drop her off (like gentlemen are supposed to!) and she steps right onto a piece of broken glass.... All of a sudden, blood is GUSHING out of her foot and I'm asking bystanders to help us out with tissues they have and where the nearest hospital is. They tell us where the nearest hospital is and I hail the first cab I see and I throw her in with the blood flowing. We get to the hospital in just a few minutes and we dash into the "emergency" room (slow as hell!) and she gets seen by a doctor who treats it pretty well but she doesn't opt for stitches. I'm no doctor but holy hell did she need stitches haha. Well I was with her at the hospital for 2 hours then we caught a cab home and I had to practically carry her up the stairs to her apartment and got her in her room safely and got her some water and food to eat since she lost so much blood and she gives me a goodnight kiss and I'm out the door.

On my way home I was in disbelief about what had happened and decided the night was still young enough to drink myself silly and have a good laugh about it. The next day I asked her about her foot and she said it was doing well and was thankful for my help. Later that evening, I was in the middle of a game of SCII and she called me at 1am. Well of course I couldn't answer! I was in the middle of a VERY important game as a Protoss against a Terran and if I made the tiniest mistake, my immortals would be attacking marines right?! So after the game I send her a text to see what's up. She immediately texts me back and says "Thank you so much for helping me the other night, I just wanted to hear the sound of your voice before I went to sleep"

.....



...........


.............................................wtf...........

It had been a day after a first date and she wanted to hear the sound of my voice before she went to sleep?

Haven't talked to her since.


I lol'd heartily at this.

I just got out of a 3 year relationship a few months ago and I'm down to date/hook up but no serious relationships. I had a couple of prospects going but one of them is pissed off at me since I made out with her best friend on her couch when she was passed out drunk in the other room, and the other one I tried to hook up with but she smokes and her breath was sooooooo bad that it completely turned me off from her.

But recently I've started getting these really bad panic attacks to the point where I'm becoming agoraphobic, so dating is difficult and has taken a back seat to trying to get my anxiety issues worked out. But I've been keeping up with working out, meditating, and eating healthy so I'll have that going for me when I get back into the game.

+ Show Spoiler +

Also, I'm not trying to turn this into another shitty PUA thread but I really recommend "The Game: Penetrating the Secret Society of Pickup Artists" by Neill Strauss, it's a really good read and gives a lot of insight into dating and people's thought processes. A lot of the PUA stuff comes off as asshole-ish but in my case (though I've always been decent with women anyways) I just kinda took what I wanted from it to suit my own preferred style of meeting and getting to know people. I'm not an asshole (the hooking up with my friend's best friend being an exception) and even though a lot of assholes get girls, it's not the asshole-ness that gets girls it's the confidence, which you can have and still be a nice guy- which is the way I want to go.

There are two kinds of people in this world: people who say there are two kinds of people in the world and people who know the first group of people are full of shit.
mindwarp
Profile Joined October 2010
United States30 Posts
October 09 2011 16:13 GMT
#164
dated a girl for two years. she breaks it off because she is unsure, but 4-5 months later she is still coming to me telling me that she doesn't know if she made a mistake, that she hasn't found a guy that could compare to me yet, and she gives signs that she misses our relationship, but ultimately she is more interested in being single and getting hit on by random douche bags just because she likes the attention. She'll come to me when shes feeling low seeking compliments and attention, classic daddy issues. But being the fool i am, i fall into her web again every time i escape.
tluser111
Profile Joined October 2011
3 Posts
October 09 2011 16:47 GMT
#165
My luck with dating: non-existant.
I don't know if anyone stand the same case as me, but i was always either in boy classes or boy schools (mostly electronical, engineering etc) and always had interest in such hobbies where woman presence or the interest about is 0-1%. Thats are namely skateboarding (before it was cool, at least in this country), BW (before it was cool too), and poker. I don't go to school anymore or have a job so its like there is no place to meet with new people outside of my community... At the top of that im a professional poker player now (not the dirty rich kind, but doing ok), but when someone hears that they think im a degenerate or some rich sucker they can get a lot of money from... At the top of that im not really follow TV, tv series, fashion, popular music, etc, so to sum up the topics most people just seem to talk about with them. Everytime i talk with a girl i have no idea what topics to bring up and conversation just seem to stuck at one point.
Guess don't have to mention i never ask out a girl to date so i have no idea what would i do and probably the whole thing would just turn out so hell of awkward i rather save both of us from that experience. Which is kind of a shame as im turning to 25 lately and aside from taking someone home from partys occasinonally, i'd really try this relationship thing finally :D
ixi.genocide
Profile Blog Joined June 2010
United States981 Posts
October 09 2011 16:51 GMT
#166
Im a 300lb gamer with an IQ of 130 and some people consider me a reclusive sociopath.... I don't mix well with people. I also like being a dick to people. I would never hurt any girl and i am not the jealous type what so ever.

I like one girl in high school that was 4 years younger than me and also the neice of one of the people I played mtg with (Found out about that after I started to talk to her), I ended up being scared off because of age and still regret it. Outside of that I haven't had an imotional connection to anyone in years, I don't go out and I would rather just learn stuff on the internet than do anything else. I am also dirt poor and this recession hasn't helped what so ever, can't even afford to have a girlfriend because of the quality of life that i would want to uphold.

I have a question for this thread- I am about as big as Chris farley, how many girls would actually consider being with me? I don't care for bs answers, hopefully I can find a proper response.
Kuja
Profile Blog Joined May 2011
United States1759 Posts
October 09 2011 16:51 GMT
#167
Relationships? BAH i would never give up that much freedom. ;P
“Who's to say that my light is better than your darkness? Who's to say death is better than your darkness? Who am I to say?”
The KY
Profile Blog Joined October 2010
United Kingdom6252 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 17:07:25
October 09 2011 17:03 GMT
#168
On October 10 2011 01:47 tluser111 wrote:
Everytime i talk with a girl i have no idea what topics to bring up and conversation just seem to stuck at one point.


Like...the same topics you bring up with guys. Girls aren't aliens they're just all fucking mental normal people.

For me, I seem to be really bad at long term relationships (longest relationship in life was 6 months), and pretty good at one night stands or very brief flings with girls I have no interest in. That's not a brag - it's not much fun and I usually despise myself afterwards. You ever find yourself in a hotel bed with your arms around some bird and think 'Who the FUCK is this and what the FUCK am I doing here'?

Every time I meet a girl I genuinely like who seems interested back she either - a) has a boyfriend and there's a lot of boring, painful drama or b) inexplicably loses interest after a few weeks and leaves - not pleasant. I think maybe I get too attached.

Fucking sucks sometimes.

EDIT: Someone above mentioned being the 'jealous type' and oh god I have that problem. If a girl I'm with or even interested in even laughs at another guys joke I am filled with seething rage and envy. I know it's stupid and I know no one likes someone being a sulky prick for no apparent
reason so I do my best to keep it under wraps.
tluser111
Profile Joined October 2011
3 Posts
October 09 2011 17:14 GMT
#169
On October 10 2011 02:03 The KY wrote:
Show nested quote +
On October 10 2011 01:47 tluser111 wrote:
Everytime i talk with a girl i have no idea what topics to bring up and conversation just seem to stuck at one point.


Like...the same topics you bring up with guys. Girls aren't aliens they're just all fucking mental normal people.


You could really tip off some of those as i have no clue tbh :D
Mostly what i talk with my friends is poker, computer games, sports, partys (both past and future), music (electronic). None of these make a good impression nor they seem to know much about.

I'm seriously thinking just buying a dog and go with it to the place they take out their puppys too (i live in a crowded urban enviroment) so i can meet with girls there and will have something to talk about, guess it would be just too cruel even tho i generally love animals dont actually need a dog for anything, i already have a cat... Think id just feel myself too hearthless and ashamed :D
mastergriggy
Profile Blog Joined May 2010
United States1312 Posts
October 09 2011 17:17 GMT
#170
My worse relationship ended when the other girl killed herself (no troll). It wasn't because of me and I kept her going for a long time. But I guess the stress of her life was too much to handle. I thought things were going pretty well and she had made some signs of recovery.
Write your own song!
elimzkE
Profile Joined May 2011
Australia92 Posts
October 09 2011 17:24 GMT
#171
Eh, I'm a student studying rendering techniques and newtonian physics at university in Australia. Girls in Australia haven't adjusted to the fact that technology has taken over a large portion of everyone's lives, so I'm viewed as a general geek with no life. Despite the fact I'm social every weekend, I'm mannered, I have a great sense of humour and (I'd like to think) I'm somewhat smart, as soon as I mention to Australian girls what I'm studying at uni I never get spoken to again.

Learning Japanese now and am probably going to move to Japan after I finish my degree. I know for sure I'll have more luck there as I went there last year and girls swooned at the simple fact I had curly hair
"First there was eLim. Then there was skill."
ThePrince
Profile Joined October 2010
Peru331 Posts
October 09 2011 17:27 GMT
#172
It's not about luck in relationships.

It's about either u being attractive or a shithead.

peace
SK_MC, ST_Parting, STX_Bogus fighting!!! Colossi should shoot nukes and blink.
KwarK
Profile Blog Joined July 2006
United States42772 Posts
October 09 2011 17:29 GMT
#173
On October 10 2011 02:17 mastergriggy wrote:
My worse relationship ended when the other girl killed herself (no troll). It wasn't because of me and I kept her going for a long time. But I guess the stress of her life was too much to handle. I thought things were going pretty well and she had made some signs of recovery.

wow, that really sucks man
Sometimes in life you just can't save someone
ModeratorThe angels have the phone box
pyro19
Profile Joined August 2010
6575 Posts
October 09 2011 17:31 GMT
#174
I Liked a Girl
She liked me back
Both of us too afraid to speak up to each other although we"ve both been in plenty of relationships before just so our friendship stays intact incase one of us says no
then she moves abroad
then she confesses
now only Sadness
Thy Shall Die Alone...or emm..something like that.
beachbeachy
Profile Blog Joined June 2011
United States509 Posts
October 09 2011 17:34 GMT
#175
Luck is shit.
Dream no small dreams for they have no power to move the hearts of men. - Goethe
Wargable
Profile Joined April 2011
United States107 Posts
October 09 2011 17:34 GMT
#176
I'm so freakin' shy. The two times I've ever wanted to ask a girl out, something ends up happening. Here are my stories of almost dating :D

+ Show Spoiler +
The first time was when this girl I hung out with in JROTC was dating this guy, and it started to not go so well. I don't know anything about girls' "signals," but I'm pretty sure she was sending me signals that she'd like me to ask her out. So turns out she breaks up with the guy the day before spring break, but I'm going out of town for spring break. I forced myself into the decision that I would ask her out, The last day of spring break, the day before I was going to ask her out, I look on facebook and she's in a relationship with this guy she had met one time at a drill meet. Of course I was just like, whatever, guess it won't happen. I'm actually kind of glad I didn't ask her, because she's a good friend and fun to talk to, but what I've heard from others is that she's an extremely needy GF who has to be with you or have you spending money on her all the time. Screw that lol.

My second story was really recent. I work as a runner for a law firm, and one day out on runs, this really cute girl I had made eye contact with a couple times before comes and sits down next to me and we start takling about work and stuff. She ends up giving me her number and adds me to facebook and all that jazz. Talking to her, I come to find she has a really really awesome personality, and I decide that I will ask her out soon. A couple days after I decided, I find out she's moving to Washington. I was so disappointed, but decided it would be best just to be a good friend with her. She just moved there yesterday, and it sucks, but she's hinted it might not work out, and there could be a chance she moves back so here's to hoping.
"That brings my piss to a boil."
ffadicted
Profile Joined January 2011
United States3545 Posts
October 09 2011 17:35 GMT
#177
On October 10 2011 01:51 ixi.genocide wrote:
Im a 300lb gamer with an IQ of 130 and some people consider me a reclusive sociopath.... I don't mix well with people. I also like being a dick to people. I would never hurt any girl and i am not the jealous type what so ever.

I like one girl in high school that was 4 years younger than me and also the neice of one of the people I played mtg with (Found out about that after I started to talk to her), I ended up being scared off because of age and still regret it. Outside of that I haven't had an imotional connection to anyone in years, I don't go out and I would rather just learn stuff on the internet than do anything else. I am also dirt poor and this recession hasn't helped what so ever, can't even afford to have a girlfriend because of the quality of life that i would want to uphold.

I have a question for this thread- I am about as big as Chris farley, how many girls would actually consider being with me? I don't care for bs answers, hopefully I can find a proper response.


Zero, or close to none anyway. Fact of the matter is that in today's world is extremely focused on aesthetics, not only for themselves, but you'd also be hard-pressed to find someone who would want to date someone else that they can't show off to their friends and etc... IT really won't matter how nice/funny/caring you are, the way it works nowadays is "Ok, I find him attractive, now let's find out if he's a good catch".

It's not the end of the world though, but you have a lot of work ahead of you. Start slow, jog, go to the gym, etc etc... there's plenty of success stories out there. Remember, nobody is going to feel sorry for you if you're not putting the effort into looking better yourself.
SooYoung-Noona!
xDaunt
Profile Joined March 2010
United States17988 Posts
Last Edited: 2011-10-09 17:46:03
October 09 2011 17:36 GMT
#178
On October 10 2011 01:51 ixi.genocide wrote:
Im a 300lb gamer with an IQ of 130 and some people consider me a reclusive sociopath.... I don't mix well with people. I also like being a dick to people. I would never hurt any girl and i am not the jealous type what so ever.

I like one girl in high school that was 4 years younger than me and also the neice of one of the people I played mtg with (Found out about that after I started to talk to her), I ended up being scared off because of age and still regret it. Outside of that I haven't had an imotional connection to anyone in years, I don't go out and I would rather just learn stuff on the internet than do anything else. I am also dirt poor and this recession hasn't helped what so ever, can't even afford to have a girlfriend because of the quality of life that i would want to uphold.

I have a question for this thread- I am about as big as Chris farley, how many girls would actually consider being with me? I don't care for bs answers, hopefully I can find a proper response.


Not many. I'm sure that there's at least one girl out there who would consider it, but you've basically removed yourself from consideration by most girls out there. Bluntly stated, you're going to have give yourself a makeover to get into the game and get some consideration. Seven years ago, I wasn't in too dissimilar of a situation as you are in, other than that I was "only" 230 pounds. I finally decided that I had had enough, and worked on completely changing my life. It took about a year and a half to slim down and, probably more importantly, refine my rather awkward social skills with regards to women. Fortunately, I was a quick study, but it still was a rough process.

EDIT: Also consider what type of girl you're willing to date. If you don't mind dating fatter girls, then you'll find it easier to find someone who's compatible. I wasn't willing to date fat girls and had fairly unreasonably high standards when I was dating. As such, I had to work a little bit harder to bring myself up to par with what I wanted.
sCuMBaG
Profile Joined August 2006
United Kingdom1144 Posts
October 09 2011 17:40 GMT
#179
Dating is a numbers game. talk to more chicks aka get more phone numbers means more chance to score.

whether you're looking to get laid or to get into a relationship. the more you talk to girls, the more knowledge you'll gain and the better the chance to find the right girl.

whe gives a shit if she says "no"... you'll forget her pretty soon anyways. just be confident and go on.
AlexWilhelm
Profile Joined April 2010
United States143 Posts
October 09 2011 17:43 GMT
#180
Pretty good. I most recently got out of a two year relationship with an awesome, gorgeous person in June, and am now starting something with another phenomenal person. I put the reason on my alcohol tolerance and cocktail skills.
I smell of death, I reek of hate, I will live forever.
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