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We are extremely close to shutting down this thread for the same reasons the PUA thread was shut down. While some of the time this thread contains actual discussion with people asking help and people giving nice advice, it often gets derailed by rubbish that should not be here. The moderation team will be trying to steer this thread in a different direction from now on.
Posts of the following nature are banned:
1) ANYTHING regarding PUA. If your post contains the words 'alpha' or 'beta' or anything of that sort please don't hit post.
2) Stupid brags. You can tell us about your nice success stories with someone, but posts such as 'lol 50 Tinder matches' are a no-no.
3) Any misogynistic bullshit, including discussion about rape culture.
4) One night stands and random sex. These are basically brags that invariably devolve into gender role discussions and misogynistic comments.
Last chance, guys. This thread is for dating advice and sharing dating stories. While gender roles, sociocultural norms, and our biological imperative to reproduce are all tangentially related, these subjects are not the main purpose of the thread. Please AVOID these discussions. If you want to discuss them at length, go to PMs or start a blog. If you disagree with someone's ideologies, state that you disagree with them and why they won't work from a dating standpoint and move on. We will not tolerate any lengthy derailments that aren't directly about dating. |
On October 09 2011 21:50 freelander wrote:Show nested quote +On October 09 2011 16:07 almerr wrote:
I recently went on a date with a girl that had so much in common with me, it was crazy. We went to see a movie, went to have a drink and talked for hours, but the next day she tells me that it just didnt click for her. Eventho we both had fun. I was probably expecting too much because of the similarities but still it hurt a bit cos I was pretty sure she'd want to continue. She told we could be friends and Im fine with that I guess too but still ....
My problem is that almost every girl I meet I end up just friends with. Dunno what is wrong with me or is it just bad luck? it probably means that you don't get sexual with them fast enough did you touch at least her hands on that date?
Yeah and we hugged ect. but I still agree with you that I didnt show enough physical interest to her so she would get that "In love" feeling. Eventhough she keeps telling me it isnt my fault. Im almost certain thats the problem and f**k me Im stupid for not doing enough  Feels like shit.
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Since I lost my ex-girlfriend I've had troubles coming up with a fitting new prospect in the relationship department..
Somebody that gets ME, understands ME, wants to be with ME, can laugh at the same as ME, listens to good music like ME :D
It's harder than most would expect.
My mission is to totally not fuck up my next relationship if fate deems me worthy of another shot at love and life..
Hope.
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Each time I go on a date its usually just for sex so technically they are all the worst dates because they involve ignoring calls and texts and making the girl feel special when i don't give a single fuck about her other than what she looks like without clothes. My schedule mainly only consists of sleep, uni, work, sc2 and gym, therefore i wouldn't even have time for a relationship, but as most of you know sex is of course sex... I actually feel bad because most of them feel used... or maybe I just do it because the one girl i chased around for 6 months and would have done anything for, chose another guy over me...
So yeah, only date for the physical, don't plan on looking for an actual relationship until I finish uni, and move because I hate the city I live in
Here's a tip for those of you who want to make your first date experience better(intended for those in their early 20's):
Unlike the OP don't be cheap, spend some money on a dinner with a bottle of wine and when the bill comes make sure she sees that you put a decent gratuity (usually 18-20%) its even better if the waitress flirts with you and you tip her nicely, because it will make your date jealous (and making girls jealous is a good thing). If the date doesn't go well, chances are you wont get lucky but honestly because of my pride of being a man i would never make a girl that's a first date pay for anything but that's just me. If she is interested in you and you don't pay the bill, she will not have sex with you on the first night but you still probably will get to see her again (although I do know some girls who feel that if a guy doesn't pay for a dinner on the first date that HE asked them to they feel he is cheap and that turns ALL girls off) . Now if she is interested in you and you have payed the bill on the first date from experience i believe it increases your chances of getting laid that night by about a whopping 70%!!!!!!. Weird I know but its a trait of women to try and repay someone they had sparks fly for with sex
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My last relationship was one year ago. The girl was in the same kickboxing class as me for about a year and apparently she had a crush on me the whole time. So one night after class we had been txting each other a lot and she said that "she had thing for me" I replied suprised but in a good way as she was nice girl and very hot so we started "going out".
However she was going away for two weeks after that so we were just txting a lot during the two weeks. When she came back we were both very excited to see eachother and were together pretty much the whole week. I thought things were going well and she seemed to be into me. She then went away that weekend to see her friend and after she came back she seemed very different and started blowing me off but still stringing me along by sometimes txting me and setting up plans which she later cancelled. I was starting to get pissed off as i had no idea where i stood.
After about a month of this I saw that she had someone else down as her boyfriend on facebook and after some facebook investigation I had relised that they got together during the weekend that she was away and probably had been together since while the bitch was stringing me along. I finally got an email from her saying that she was not into me anymore, I replied with some bad words. So this whole ordeal has totally crushed my confidence with girls as they are too confusing and seem to be to much work. So needless to say I haven't been with anyone since.
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It was interesting reading the stories here.
I have had long term relationships with 4 girls, interspersed with a one year period of dating a rotating roster of 3-5 girls at once for a change of pace, until I met a girl who was worth dropping it all for, and whom I am a marrying soon, and really looking forward to it.
Anyway my advice for guys here is to act confidently, and bring the girl into your world, and dictate the frame - don't be passive. Most girls will appreciate this and it will make you appear more attractive to them.
Some other things you can do to help your chances are are: join a gym, take care of personal grooming etc. You don't have to go overboard here, but it certainly doesn't hurt to put a little effort in.
Make a lot of physical contact early on - e.g. touch her shoulder after you tell a joke etc etc. If you do this right it will not be creepy at all, and it is telling the girl you are attracted to her, and will help keep you away from the dreaded 'friend zone', and more into the lay zone.
Don't share *all* your weird little quirks with her all at once - let the crazy out slowly. Of course show some personality at the same time, but try to find a balance.
Don't act needy and text them all the time.. keep some mystery. I once had a girl text me 40 times in a day while I was at work without me responding.. needless to say I ran for the hills.
Don't hold out for the perfect girl - dating and relationships are like anything that takes practice, hell starcraft too. If you don't practice and stay in bronze league, good luck finding a GM girl, heck even a diamond girl won't want to play with you. Like starcraft, everyone has it in them to make at least diamond with a little effort ;-). It goes without saying you don't have to be super serious with every girl, so just get some experience under your belt, and if shes not what you are really looking for, you can always end the relationship and find someone else and you will be better for the experience.
Good luck!
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On October 09 2011 22:23 Mythra wrote:
My last relationship was one year ago. The girl was in the same kickboxing class as me for about a year and apparently she had a crush on me the whole time. So one night after class we had been txting each other a lot and she said that "she had thing for me" I replied suprised but in a good way as she was nice girl and very hot so we started "going out".
However she was going away for two weeks after that so we were just txting a lot during the two weeks. When she came back we were both very excited to see eachother and were together pretty much the whole week. I thought things were going well and she seemed to be into me. She then went away that weekend to see her friend and after she came back she seemed very different and started blowing me off but still stringing me along by sometimes txting me and setting up plans which she later cancelled. I was starting to get pissed off as i had no idea where i stood.
After about a month of this I saw that she had someone else down as her boyfriend on facebook and after some facebook investigation I had relised that they got together during the weekend that she was away and probably had been together since while the bitch was stringing me along. I finally got an email from her saying that she was not into me anymore, I replied with some bad words. So this whole ordeal has totally crushed my confidence with girls as they are too confusing and seem to be to much work. So needless to say I haven't been with anyone since.
That's how it goes sometimes, don't let it knock you for too long. On the positive side, a hot girl was attracted to you. That alone should give you confidence going forward. It sounds like the timing was just off.
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On October 09 2011 22:23 Mythra wrote:
My last relationship was one year ago. The girl was in the same kickboxing class as me for about a year and apparently she had a crush on me the whole time. So one night after class we had been txting each other a lot and she said that "she had thing for me" I replied suprised but in a good way as she was nice girl and very hot so we started "going out".
However she was going away for two weeks after that so we were just txting a lot during the two weeks. When she came back we were both very excited to see eachother and were together pretty much the whole week. I thought things were going well and she seemed to be into me. She then went away that weekend to see her friend and after she came back she seemed very different and started blowing me off but still stringing me along by sometimes txting me and setting up plans which she later cancelled. I was starting to get pissed off as i had no idea where i stood.
After about a month of this I saw that she had someone else down as her boyfriend on facebook and after some facebook investigation I had relised that they got together during the weekend that she was away and probably had been together since while the bitch was stringing me along. I finally got an email from her saying that she was not into me anymore, I replied with some bad words. So this whole ordeal has totally crushed my confidence with girls as they are too confusing and seem to be to much work. So needless to say I haven't been with anyone since.
Only the bads ones suck.
There are alot of stand-up, sweet and faithful and respectful woman out there.. You got gotta find them..
And rememeber. Bad attracts bad, good attracts god.
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The first date I went on with my last girlfriend was to the Gigantour concert. Dream Theater (one of our mutual fav bands) was opening for Megadeth (one of my actual favourite bands), so I thought why not, I'd take her instead of one of my friends.
Day seemed to go well enough, got a little road head on the drive to the concert, so I expected the best out of this date.
When we arrived, as she put it "terrible music band X" was playing- aka Fear Factory. She dragged me from our seats during their set to go look for concert T-shirts. I was pretty poor at the time, and the 40 bucks she somehow talked me into spending was all my money. I was hoping to get laid at the concert, but unfortunately two of the fattest trailer trash hicks I've ever seen were drunk and feeling each other up a couple rows in front of us. While it was hysterical to watch and one of those forever lasting impressions, obviously it was an equally epic cockblock.
Dream Theater put on a fantastic show, but 3 songs into Megadeth's set my now-ex realized she was hungry and wanted to go. Of course, I told her to fuck herself and we're not leaving until the end of the Megadeth set, or at the very least after Hangar 18 was played. Her response was that she "wanted me to fuck her, and doesn't want to fuck herself. However if that's my attitude it's unlikely to ever happen."
Hmm I thought- crazy bitch pulls power play at Megadeth concert, uses sex as weapon, and is ruining my time- is this worth it? Like most men, my little head thought for my big one, so I agreed to leave, banged her on the way home, and thought no more about it.
The next day at school I found out that not only was the Megadeth set fantastic, but Mike Portnoy (the at the time drummer for Dream Theater) came out at the end of the set to play the drums for Peace Sells. I should've learned then: no good would come from dating that bitch. In our four years of dating that was the last time I took that bitch on a date. And on top of it all, the concert t-shirt I bought her was hideous, and didn't fit a year later when she got all fat. Looking back, so glad I dumped her haha
I <3 this thread, what a pick me up
On October 09 2011 23:02 1800STFU wrote:
Had one girlfriend for about 6 months, then she started to stalk me on another forums despite the fact I NEVER TOLD HER THE FORUM OR MY SCREEN NAME.
Anyways I said some stuff of there talking about other forum goers about girl problems and she sent be a 20 page text saying how she wants to shoot my balls off with a crossbow....yada yada yada.
Yeah haven't even tried or looked for anyone else sense. It's just such a headache and takes too much energy. Not worth it.
Lol the ex-girlfriend mentioned above did the same shit to me man! Michelle, if you somehow found me here know this: you're a self absorbed cunt, and I want my N64 back.
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Had one girlfriend for about 6 months, then she started to stalk me on another forums despite the fact I NEVER TOLD HER THE FORUM OR MY SCREEN NAME.
Anyways I said some stuff of there talking about other forum goers about girl problems and she sent be a 20 page text saying how she wants to shoot my balls off with a crossbow....yada yada yada.
Yeah haven't even tried or looked for anyone else sense. It's just such a headache and takes too much energy. Not worth it.
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Interesting reading this thread. I have some advice for some of you. Don't take any shit! And be picky! Don't go out with a girl that treats you bad just because she's attractive or good in bed or whatever. It will just end horribly. Find a nice girl that you like. It's probably going to take a while, but don't go into relationships half-heartedly with girls you don't really care about. And when you do find a girl you really like, go for it! Don't let her slip away.
As for myself. I been having a hard time finding a girl I really like since me and my ex broke up a little over two years ago. I did start seeing this amazing some time ago. At first I was hesitant because she didn't (doesn't) live in the same city as I, but I liked this girl and I decided do just go with it. I've had a good time with this girl but It's probably not going to work out since we don't live in the same city and none of us really want to have a long distance relationship. At one point she did apply for school here, but she didn't get in so that kinda sucked. Probably going to keep seeing here from time to time, but I think it's time to move on. A little sad about it, but whatever. There's plenty of fish in the sea.
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A lot of people seem to be saying that the only 'good' girls are selfish, vain and other poor qualities... maybe you should take a step back and look at some of the fantastic personalities that aren't supermodels? They exist. And there's a lot of them.
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On October 09 2011 15:47 Mr. Nefarious wrote:
Unfortunately, most of the better looking girls are extremely selfish and vain. Drop these girls, looks are only fun for the first month. Find the girl you find attractive emotionally as well as physically, despite what other people might say or think about her.
this.
exactly what ive been always sayin to my friends.
last relationship lasted for 1 year and 3 month, but not im probably gonna stay single for a long time,because in sweden.... girls are terrible.. absolutely terrible. so its not worth having your heartbroken by crap everytime.
" swedish girls are hot ,blond and blue eyes and big boobs"
no they are terrible, chubby,shallow,and worthless.
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Nice thread, I'll give you my recent story.
+ Show Spoiler + 5 years ago (I was 22), a girl had a crush on me. I noticed it but I wasn't reaaly interested as the girl was cute and funny but she was always wearing black clothes, was depressed and I often time asked myself if that girl was somewhat stupid. One evening, there was some party at her house, I went there, The girl knew what she wanted and it was me and it flattered me, but I was very passive because I didn't want to go in relationship with that girl, I had views on others that I considered better pick. I somewhat ended up kissing her that night and the day after she was sticking to me like glue, she wanted that this relationship to be kinda official at our school. I'm a nice guy and I didn't want to crush her feelings, so I let her do that. In the back of my head I was thinking that this could be a good short therm experience as I used to be very unlucky with girls my whole life.
She had a very shitty background; abusive boyfriends, her father died a few years ago, her mom was alocoholic and unemployed and her step dad was a notorious alcoholic with some regular violent periods so she spent most of her time at my place to avoid the conflicts and screamings.
I felt very good, first time someone actually really loved me. Loving is something good but being loved is so much better. I spent my time teaching her many stuff I knew, because I won't lie, at this time I was feeling that I was so much better than her. I assumed she was some sort of victim of the life and that I could help her. I taught her informatic, critical thinking, and many stuff school related (I was in an art school). I felt clever, but reality backfired me immediatly. She was getting happy and start wearing colorfull dresses, had this beautifull smile and I loved what I saw. She then proceded to teach me all the thing she like and know. I was blasted. I realised how much this girl was awesome and I was wrong from the start to assume that I was some sort of charming prince and stuff. I was crap compared to her kindness, love of nature, respect for the human, her complete honesty and her constant positivism. I felt in love with her after about 1 year of relationship. I was the first surprised, we got a flat together, we adopted 2 cats, and we were forming some sort of small family. Some of the best memories of my life. that lasted 3 more years until that beautifull butterfly decided to fly on her own. My heart was broken is small pieces, I was drepessed sad and still have high nostalgia of that part of my life. we broke 6 monthes ago. Life continues but I don't regret anything of that story, this truly helped me become the person I am today. Just always be yourself, don't be ashamed of anything and talk about how you feel to your partner, I won't say that this will result in a long term relationship but I assure you that honesty is worth trying.
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I'm only in high school right now so, I don't really feel the need to go out and find a girlfriend. I have friends who are girls, I'm just not interested in anyone in my little town. So until I go off to university I'm not going to worry about trying to get a girlfriend
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All the girls I meet recently end up dating one of my friends....
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On October 09 2011 21:49 BoD0M wrote:Can't get any decent girl to look at me cuz of how i look, i just have sc2 to comfort me. Am fat, single, and ready for a pringle. 
I don't get posts like this. y would u post sth like this and not see the fact that only u r responsible for your life. it's exactly like balance whining instead of watching the replay to see what u can do better.
change it! seriously. It's possible. Make choices like doing sports everyday and stick to them. Self-esteem will get better automatically as u see results.
but posting stuff "I''m helpless; God fucked up; blabla" makes me sad. life is fair (mostly) and only gives u stuff if u put some effort into it.
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Been on a few dates, told a best friend I cared for her, etc. I don't really need or want a relationship or companion anymore. At this point in our history I see relationships as conventions or hobbies. I have enough other things to focus on.
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i met a girl at a mid summer party, i got piss drunk and as told by a friend of mine, i grabbed her, carried her away, asking for directions to an empty room. My friend, who considered this specimen to be a STD-mothership, in turn carried me to his car and drove me home. Apparently the drunken rapist approach struck chords with her and she lurked me up online that same evening and wanted more of me, so we met up for another party a week later, where more than five guys were constantly hitting on her and when most people were going on to a night club, she took my hand and left, with all the steroid jocks dropping jaws. so that night we sexed it up bad, staying up listening to devourment and suffocation and smoking shit until 5 am.
The next day i felt so dirty for having slept with a non swede (she was from azerbajdzjan originally) that i went home, saying i needed to take a shower. guess that set her off a little, though not enough. next time she wanted il duce (that's my penis) we met up on a party, but i just straight up drank a bottle of vodka, gave away my ipod, passed out on a street, took a bus to some random other city in the middle of the night where i was mindlessly wandering around when she called, crying, saying she would pay a cab if i just went to her place, bla bla bla. She sounded really odd and slow but i was drunk and hungry for burgers, so i disregarded that.
A few days later i was actually going to apologize but she didnt answer, since she tried to commit suicide that evening and was in hospital for a week, and then the psychological emergency ward for another week.
i saw her last week, now she's a hipster.
OH WAIT we were supposed to be nice guys in here, talking about bitchy girls? sry about that gais!
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On October 09 2011 23:30 ULTRAmarine wrote:
i met a girl at a mid summer party, i got piss drunk and as told by a friend of mine, i grabbed her, carried her away, asking for directions to an empty room. My friend, who considered this specimen to be a STD-mothership, in turn carried me to his car and drove me home. Apparently the drunken rapist approach struck chords with her and she lurked me up online that same evening and wanted more of me, so we met up for another party a week later, where more than five guys were constantly hitting on her and when most people were going on to a night club, she took my hand and left, with all the steroid jocks dropping jaws. so that night we sexed it up bad, staying up listening to devourment and suffocation and smoking shit until 5 am.
The next day i felt so dirty for having slept with a non swede (she was from azerbajdzjan originally) that i went home, saying i needed to take a shower. guess that set her off a little, though not enough. next time she wanted il duce (that's my penis) we met up on a party, but i just straight up drank a bottle of vodka, gave away my ipod, passed out on a street, took a bus to some random other city in the middle of the night where i was mindlessly wandering around when she called, crying, saying she would pay a cab if i just went to her place, bla bla bla. She sounded really odd and slow but i was drunk and hungry for burgers, so i disregarded that.
A few days later i was actually going to apologize but she didnt answer, since she tried to commit suicide that evening and was in hospital for a week, and then the psychological emergency ward for another week.
i saw her last week, now she's a hipster.
OH WAIT we were supposed to be nice guys in here, talking about bitchy girls? sry about that gais!
Yo dawg thats not dating.
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Welll, I gotta say im kinda in the same situation as you.
I had a girlfriend for 6 years, from start of highschool till the middle of University. Then I met a girl on the University and dated her for 1 year. Actually it wasn't dating, we were just friends @ the beginning then everything fit so perfectly that the we started dreaming about us being together. But both of us had girlfriend/boyfriend. I had a really big dilemma, what to do, broke up with my girlfriend, just put a 6 year relationshop to the junk and be with this superb girl or not. For like 3 months this other girl told me that I am her dream, so I can be her dentist husband later, we can live together for life because everything is perfect between us and for her everything is so shit with her actualy boyfriend. So @ New Year's Eve I decided to break up with my girlfriend as she wanted to scare me with a breakup just to get me running after her again. But she was surprised I didn't run back and I went to this other girl and told her that finally Im single so from my side we can be together. After 3 months of waiting she finally broke up with her boyfriend. So there was my chance. I actually felt the same, finally I found my dreamgirl with who everything is PERFECT PERFECT. Then we started discussing how much time we need to be together finally, and agreed that first we need a couple of weeks till our old relationships are forgotten. After 1 week This girl told me there won't be anything between us and she decided to be with her ex-boyfriend again. Since then Im single as fuck, bored as fuck and lonely as fuck.
I dropped a 6 year relationship for someone who actually peed on me...
That's life...Can't be arsed now to go out with any girl, I'm still dreaming about the past and can't even look for a girl...IM STUCK !
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EPT
